Hold On, a that '70s show fanfic

Hold On:

By: FuzzySlipper19

A/N: Greetings fellow That 70's Show fans! I have finally returned to write more for our favorite couple, Jackie and Hyde :) I hope you enjoy this brief oneshot about how Jackie started staying with Hyde in the basement in Season 5.

WARNING:THIS IS RATED M FOR A REASON. It has fairly dark themes. (SPOILER: Contains depression, suicidal implications and cutting)

Disclaimer 1: I cannot take credit for this idea. Tianimalz's Fanfic "The Last Night", truly inspired me and gave me the idea for this story, so super props to Tianimalz! Thank you so much for giving me permission to use your idea!

Readers, if you enjoy Teen Titans Fanfiction, and you like Beast Boy and Terra together, I highly recommend reading the sweet little oneshot that inspired me to write this story!

.net/s/4270493/1/The_Last_Night

Disclaimer 2: I do not own That 70's Show or any of the characters. This story is merely for entertainment purposes, and I am not getting paid in any way, shape, or form.

I also do not own the song, "The Last Night", the band, Skillet, the album, "Comatose", or any of the lyrics below in italics.

Hope you all enjoy this short oneshot!

-((*))-

You come to me with scars on your wrist
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this

"I just came to say goodbye
I didn't want you to see me cry
I'm fine"

But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know
I'm everywhere you want me to be
The last night you'll spend alone
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault
But they don't know you like I know you
They don't know you at all

"I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be okay
You're fine"

But I know it's a lie

The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand, I will help you hold on
Tonight
Tonight

I won't let you say goodbye
I'll be your reason why

The last night away from me
Away from me

There was something about tonight. Although it was really no different than any other night, Jackie felt particularly alone.

She didn't know why; her father had been in prison for quite some time and her mother had been missing for months. She was used to having the house to herself. Why should tonight be any different?

Her parents had made it obvious that she wasn't worth their time. She should understand that by now. She should stop feeling so betrayed by people who never cared for her in the first place.

And while she was able to shake the gloomy feeling most of the time, tonight was difficult. Maybe it was because she'd barely talked to Hyde all day… he usually brightened her day quite a bit.

Maybe it would help to give him a call?

No… Hyde wasn't the kind of guy you could really call. He was distant… zen…

It was part of his charm. The way he said "whatever", the way he hid his emotions behind his aviators… it was Hyde. But still, sometimes Jackie wished that he could show emotion around her sometimes.

Especially nights like tonight. She could really use a hug and a shoulder to cry on.

Or maybe she could call Donna?

No… Donna would never understand. Her big, tall lumberjack head was too high in the clouds to notice when Jackie might need a hug.

If Donna even noticed that Jackie was feeling down, she would probably just assume that Jackie broke a nail or something. Jackie was known for her shallow attitude.

"Oh well, Fluffycakes," she sighed, "looks like it's just you and me." She squeezed the stuffed unicorn so tightly that the stuffing seemed as though it was about to burst out.

Although this tactic had worked many other nights… it just didn't ease the pain tonight. Tonight was just too long.

She needed a living, breathing person. She needed warmth to envelope her and assure her that she was never alone.

But instead… there was nothing. No one was there. She felt no warmth – she felt numbness instead.

And no matter how many times she told herself… she was still alone. She always would be alone.

She was so depressed that she just couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. Before she knew what she was doing, she was running, tears blinding her eyes, sobs erupting from her fragile frame.

She ran down the stairs, ran through the parlor and didn't stop running until she reached the kitchen. Fluffycakes fell out of her arms as she reached the drawer that held her kitchen utensils.

She opened it slowly, cautiously reaching down and picking up an old steak knife.

It disgusted her, yet it drew her in at the same time.

She had done it before… it had taken the edge off of her pain.

What if she just indulged this one, last time?

She could remember.

(flashback)

She could see herself holding the knife close to her bear arm. Debating on whether or not to do it.

It felt wrong. She was the preppy cheerleader. Not some gross Goth. This wasn't right for her.

But then again… she had no one. She felt numb.

Was she even alive?

Jackie didn't know.

And before she could spare it a second thought, she sliced her wrist in a swift movement.

It didn't hurt like she thought it might. Just a sting, really. But she didn't even wince in pain. Because for a second, it made her forget about being alone… being cold, being sad, being numb. It made her forget that anything was wrong at all.

The clock ticked by, and although it felt almost like hours, it was only seconds before a thin trail of crimson glided down her arm.

And then she knew for sure; she was alive. She could feel. She was no longer numb.

Suddenly her eyes widened in horror as she realized what she had done. It was… sick. It wasn't right. She couldn't let anyone know. She was beyond ashamed.

She would have to hide it, of course. She was disgusted by herself, but only because she shouldn't enjoy the pain this much. It was wrong.

And yet… for the first time in her life, Jackie could breathe.

(end flashback)

Jackie suddenly jolted out of her memory. Her eyes were wide and she took a gasp of air.

She didn't know if she could get through the night or not. Maybe just a little cut would help her? Maybe it would mask the aching in her heart like it did last time?

She slowly pressed the knife to her wrist, but before she could break the skin, she was interrupted.

"Jackie, Kelso was wondering if-,"

Jackie whirled around in a startling shock to see her boyfriend, Steven Hyde. Her countenance transformed from devastation to horror as she saw his eyes dart over to her arm.

She dropped the knife with a loud clang as it bounced once or twice on the floor. But that was the only noise that was made.

The silence lasted a long time.

"Jackie…" Hyde finally said, interrupting the silence in a small voice. He did not look up at her.

And she couldn't bear to watch anymore. She didn't want to see the disapproval in his eyes, the skepticism; she didn't want to see the repulsion that he would surely show.

She collapsed on her knees on the kitchen floor, narrowly missing the knife that she'd dropped just minutes ago.

"Steven, nothing happened," she cried. He walked cautiously over to her and knelt down in front of her.

"Jackie… what…" but he couldn't even finish his sentence. He was in total shock. He couldn't open his mouth to speak.

The only thing he could do was tenderly reach out and take her wrist in his hand. He examined it closely before he could finally find his voice to speak.

"Jackie… when you said you fell off your bike that one time…" he said slowly, pointing to the scar on her wrist, "you…"

There was a pause, as Jackie debated on whether or not to come clean about the incident.

Well… he was her boyfriend. Shouldn't she be able to confide in him?

And yet… he was Steven Hyde. For the first few months, their relationship was based solely on fooling around – with no emotional attachment.

Would she ruin any chances of ever getting him to love her if she told him her secret?

She was backed into a corner, though. She had been caught in the act. Jackie racked her brain for an excuse, but no ideas came. There was no way she'd be able to convince him that she was doing anything else besides what it looked like.

"I didn't fall off my bike," Jackie confirmed, her voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

"Why?" he sighed, shaking his head, getting up to his feet in a rush. He couldn't let her see him like this. His sunglasses could only hide so much.

"I don't know," she whispered, not moving from her position. "Look Steven, this'll never happen again. This will be the last night I ever feel like this."

"What… what do your parents say?" he asked, taking a step back. He couldn't believe himself. He was about ready to collapse, himself. He was about to let out the tears and let down his walls.

But no… he couldn't let that happen. His image depended on it.

His very sanity depended on it.

"They're not here," Jackie said, shaking her head. She got up to her feet, as well, taking a step back to mirror Hyde's actions. "They've been gone."

"Jackie, how long have they been gone?"

"It feels like forever," she said, her eyes far away.

Hyde wanted to know why she was doing this. What made her feel this way. Why she wouldn't talk to him about it.

But he was in danger of losing his mind. He just couldn't fathom it. Jackie was hurting herself? He had to deny it – the thought of Jackie inflicting pain upon herself… it brought him a sort of distress that he'd never felt before.

Jackie turned away suddenly, as she couldn't stop the tears from leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

"Good-bye, Steven," she said, dismissing him. She sniffed inaudibly as another tear rolled down her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She just couldn't let him see her like this. She didn't want him to see her cry.

"Jackie-,"

"I'm fine!"

Hyde shook his head, placing his hand gently on Jackie's shoulder. He turned her around very slowly, very cautiously.

"You're lying," he whispered as he brought her in close, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

And then she gave in. She let herself cry. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have let him see?

How could she have compromised her image – the preppy, happy, shallow cheerleader - the strong Jackie that would never do something this stupid?

Hyde suddenly scooped her up and carried her over to the couch in the other room. He laid her down and then sat beside her. Jackie climbed into his lap.

"How did you get in?" she asked when she could finally control her voice.

"The door was unlocked, Jacks," Hyde said, running his fingers gently through her hair. "I figured…" but yet again, he couldn't finish his sentence.

There was another pause before Hyde dared to speak again.

"Does anyone else know?" he said in a low voice.

"Our maid saw," she said, "a little while before we fired her."

"And she didn't do anything?" Hyde yelled, anger taking over his voice. He jolted up, but soon found the willpower to sit back down. He had to be calm.

Not just to protect his image. He needed to be calm for Jackie. He needed to let her know that he wasn't judging her, that he cared about her, that he didn't see her any differently.

"She never cared! She said it was all my fault!" Jackie exclaimed, a sharp bitterness in her voice as another tear rolled down her cheek. "She always just said it was a little phase. She was sure I was being dramatic and that I'd be okay once I 'grew up'… She said I was fine."

"Well it wasn't true," Hyde said, bringing Jackie closer to him. "She didn't know you. Your parents never knew you."

Her placed his hand tenderly underneath her chin and gently lifted her face up to meet his gaze.

"They don't know you like I know you," he whispered. "Jackie… I wanna help you. Tell me what to do."

Jackie wasn't quite sure how to respond. She didn't have any idea how he could help her.

She was also quite baffled by his display of emotion. She'd known him for at least a few years now and she had never seen him show any emotion near her.

"I don't know," Jackie sighed, shaking her head.

"Jacks there has to be something!"

"I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to hold on anymore," she announced regretfully, tears, yet again, blurring her vision.

There was a long moment before Hyde did anything. He didn't know what he could do. How was anyone supposed to know what to do in a situation like this?

Especially Hyde. He didn't do emotions. What words of comfort could he offer to fix this?

Maybe it was action he needed.

"Give me your hand," he said suddenly. Jackie looked up at him, but when she looked up into his pale, blue eyes, she could see that he was serious.

Very slowly, Jackie reached her hand out and Hyde took it.

"I'll help you hold on," he whispered in a determined voice while he squeezed her hand tightly. "I can't lose you!"

Suddenly, Jackie nodded. She threw her arms around him and breathed in his familiar scent. She was in shock at his performance but she knew she would never complain. It was so nice to have someone who actually cared… who actually believed something was wrong and who was actually willing to help her through it.

-((*))—

After some convincing, Hyde finally got Jackie to come back with him to the Formans' house to spend the night with him. Jackie had been fairly hesitant at first, since she didn't want anyone to find out that her parents had bailed on her, but Hyde assured her that they wouldn't get caught.

"Well, how do we get inside?" Jackie asked as soon the car came to a stop.

"You walk in," Hyde said, raising his eyebrow. With that they got out of the car, and Hyde took Jackie's hand in his. They went down to the basement and crept quietly to Hyde's little room. It was late, so no one was in the basement. Yet it was early enough that Hyde didn't have to worry about Red putting his foot up Hyde's ass for breaking curfew.

"Are you sure no one will find out?" Jackie said in a small voice. Hyde threw her a t-shirt to sleep in a nodded.

"They'll never know, doll," he promised.

Jackie nodded as she undressed herself, putting the long, baggy t-shirt on. She climbed into Hyde's cot and Hyde was soon to follow. He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled closer in his embrace.

"Steven… I'm so sorry," she whispered in a broken voice. "You shouldn't have found out… not that way."

"Sh, it's okay, Jacks," he vowed. Jackie shook her head, sighing.

"Please don't tell anyone," she begged. "I don't ever want anyone to know I did that!"

"I promise I won't tell anyone… but you have to promise me something, too," he bargained.

"Anything."

"Please… don't hurt yourself. And if you ever feel like you need to… just talk to me, Jackie," he said in a hushed voice.

"I promise."

"I want you to know… this is the last night that you'll ever feel alone… ever again."

Jackie looked up, confusion in her mis-matched eyes.

"I want you to stay with me… from now on. I don't want you to be alone. I don't want to be alone."

Jackie couldn't help but smile a little bit… but she knew him all too well. There was probably a catch.

"I need to know you're okay," he continued. "And even when you are alone, Jackie… I'm anywhere you need me to be. I'm a phone-call away. I'm a ten minute drive down the road. You let me know you want to be with me… and I'll be there."

Jackie was even more skeptical now. She'd always known the zen-master to do just fine on his own. Jackie didn't know what was happening. How could Hyde be saying these things? Was this some sort of cruel joke? Hyde had never said he loved her, after all. So how could he be feeling these emotions and saying these things? It didn't make sense.

There was silence.

But then, as Hyde took off his sunglasses, Jackie looked into his eyes. He was being sincere, she realized! She believed him.

And she didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

But for right now… it was good. He was there. He was everything she needed him to be. He was by her side.

He held her closer, refusing to let go.

"I won't let you say good-bye," he whispered in her ear. "I'll be your reason why."

Jackie nodded, taking in everything that he was saying.

That past evening, Jackie suddenly realized, was the last night she'd ever spend alone. Because now she was with Hyde and he promised he'd never leave her alone.

It wouldn't be easy to stay under the Formans' radar, but Jackie suddenly trusted that she could stay here without getting caught. It just felt so right to be lying next to Hyde right now. It had to work out, right?

Even when the nights became long, Jackie had no doubt that Hyde would help her hold on.

A/N: The end! Reviews make my world go round, so if you have an extra second to tell me what you think, it would be greatly appreciated! 3

Peace and Love

Best Wishes,

FuzzySlipper19