Incenter

Chapter One

A/N: I'm back from haitus. Will be updating over the next few days for various fics that I'm sure some of you are waiting to read more of. Thanks for the continued support~

"Jyou, I don't know," Takeru started. He glanced around. Why did he decide to just blurt this out to me here? Then again, Jyou never was one to keep his mouth shut. How odd, for someone who tends to bottle things up. I guess he lets them fester until it turns into... well, this. "I mean... it's not like I don't like you, but then there's Yamato..."

"What? He knows you need your space now... and to be honest, he's been ignoring me lately..."

Oh, Digi-Jesus. How wrong you are, Jyou-san. Takeru thought. Takeru could see it now, Jyou taking his hand in his... or leaning in close... Then:

Yamato would deck him.

"You really don't understand," the blonde continued nervously. After all, how was Takeru supposed to explain that he and Yamato... well... Takeru began to sweat. It was a hot spring afternoon and the humidity didn't help things. Darn, I was doing so good at avoiding this subject with Hikari. She's my friend, so she doesn't pry, but Jyou. Damn you, Jyou-san. Why did you have to like me? Isn't Yamato enough? I guess not, considering how my Oniichan has been acting.

"Takeru?" Jyou questioned, noticing the younger boy's fidgeting feet and distant glance. "If you don't like me, you can just tell me. It's just, after about... six months of contemplating, I came to the conslusion that you should know how I feel, especially since Yamato..."

"No, no, Jyou, you're... I mean, you've always been there for me... it's just I haven't considered those things yet..." Takeru tried to weasel around the truth. It's a tiny lie. I have totally considered those things and I have done those things... with the worst person imaginable I could do them with. But you don't need to know that, Jyou-san. You're all about properness and rules, you would absolutely disown us if you knew. Then again, you are gay...

"So, is that a yes or a no?" Jyou pleaded.

"...I'm not sure," Takeru whispered. The young blonde watched his mentor's expression change to a frown and Takeru wasn't sure what to do. He had never even considered Jyou as a possibility before, but he had never considered anyone for that matter, even if everyone had thought he should be with Hikari. Somehow, he then ended up with Yamato, who had taken a huge risk by spilling his true feelings for him.

What was worse about this entire thing was that now, Takeru was stuck in the middle. Yamato and Jyou had been together as far back as Takeru could remember, but then, Yamato, his big brother, had come to him and confessed feelings he couldn't live with a second longer, and things were better, but now... Takeru knew he was the reason that Yamato wasn't giving Jyou as much attention lately and Takeru didn't deny his sibling's feelings for either of them, it's just... well, Yamato was an indecisive bastard, as usual. Now, Jyou was turning to Takeru for comfort, too. What makes me so damn appealing? The young blonde screamed at himself. I guess I kind of owe Jyou. He did save my life only a gazillion times. But if Yamato finds out, we're both dead. Takeru tensed, thinking of his brother's voice, "You're my little brother, no one else's."

"Takeru, are you alright? You're kind of feverish," Jyou said, raising a palm to the boy's forehead. "It's probably allergies. This weather is horrible."

"Jyou, don't change the subject," Takeru ordered. The last thing he was going to do was let Jyou be miserable. He would never hear the end of it from Yamato. "Let's just... see how things play out?" Oh God, what am I saying? Date Jyou?

"...are you sure, Takeru? I mean, you know what that means. I am not pressuring you, let me make that very clear."

"No, it's fine. I can handle it," Takeru said. I'm already handling a similar situation, after all...

"Takeru, it means a lot to me. I'm not good with these things," Jyou said, adjusting his glasses on the ridge of his nose, "I just realized, maybe, it was you who I loved all this time, and I want to know if it's for real or just because Yamato is ignoring me. Since nothing is bothering him, according to you, then it must be something I did."

Takeru was unsure how to answer that. His brother was always troubled, it seemed, and always with good reason. Still, Jyou hit it right on the head. It's definetly because of you...

As Jyou left the park where he had asked Takeru to meet him, part of him felt ill and not in the everyday sort of 'Jyou's ill' that everyone could plainly read. He turned back time and again, hoping to see Takeru still there in a haze of confusion like himself, but no, the boy was long gone.

Jyou was unsure of Takeru's feelings as he was as unsure of his own. He loved Yamato, always had. Yamato had always been the one to just sit and listen to his complaints, and although at first (and occasionally now) still annoyed him, he always laughed off his aggravation. In turn, Yamato had a world of secrets and feelings in him with nowhere for them to go but Jyou's open ears and stitched-closed mouth.

"What have I done?" Jyou wondered. Takeru's right. If Yamato finds out, not only will he be hurt, but he'll be angry. The two feelings I don't like in him...

But what was I supposed to do? Yamato brought this on himself, as he does most things. I tried asking him why he's so preoccupied lately. The band? School? God forbid, his family? No. No. Definetly not, don't worry, Jyou. Ugh. Then WHAT? What am I doing WRONG? Jyou found himself letting out an aggravated scream as he waited for the subway. Luckily, no one seemed to care and he was thankful for that small bit of peace. I can't help it if he doesn't want to talk to me. Doesn't trust me. After all, I only know your life story and even Takeru only recently learned about all of that!

Takeru... am I really falling for you or am I just clinging to you, desperate to have any taste of Yamato I can get? I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt him. I'm just so alone... and you. Takeru, you're probably only agreeing to this because you don't want to hurt me or you feel you owe me something. You don't. I did everything I did for you because I know losing you would kill Yamato. Probably literally. Jyou fretted over that single thought a moment and the way his boyfriend had joked of such things. Okay, calm down, Jyou. Takeru DID say he just wanted to see how things played out, whatever that means. So, even if you are a cheating bastard, at least it won't be for long. You'll realize this was all a fucking mistake and go running back to Yamato and by then he'll be running back to you to confess whatever it is on his mind.

Jyou, pleased with the way his thoughts had gone to a sunshine and bunnies conclusion, termporarily relieved any guilt he had and he was free to plan how he and Takeru would be spending his newfound free time together. Even if nothing came of their dates, Jyou was still happy to have someone to be with, even if he didn't want to deny that he did need more than company and a kiss.

Jyou stared at his reflection in the glass of the subway train as it pulled in front of him. Then, he stepped in and hoped that everything would be okay, even if that was more Takeru's department...

Yamato lazily held his fingers over each string, debating what chord to play next, when his front door opened. Takeru came rushing through, startling the older brother a little. He nearly dropped the bass guitar as he sat up, wondering if something horrible had happened. "Takeru, you okay?" he started as the boy rushed over to him. He was still carting one shoe and frustratingly kicking it off as he crossed the living room to his brother's lips. "Mhmph, Takeru-"

"Sorry," the younger boy said, standing back and tossing the shoe across the room. He was smiling wide and seemed to not have a care in the world. For Yamato, that was too suspicious, considering how his brother was slowly trying to be a reflection of himself and finding things to be miserable about. "I just couldn't wait to see you."

"O...Okay," Yamato breathed. "Takeru, what are you doing here? You know I need to practice."

"Yeah, in your dreams," Takeru snorted, sitting next to his older brother. "I just wanted to ask... how are things going with Jyou-san? I feel like we're really hurting him..."

"Oh, so that's what's bothering you..." Yamato noted, unsure of what to do next. He absent mindedly ran his fingers over a few strings. "I can't tell him, Takeru. Not only are we... and then I'm..." Yamato wasn't going to admit incest and cheating to himself, much less in the same sentence.

"I know, but he still loves you and you love him, right?"

"More than anything," Yamato whispered with a smile. "He's the only one I could ever put all my trust in... aside you, Takeru."

"Then, why don't you tell him?" Takeru urged, giving his older brother a shove. I'm not going to have this be ALL my fault.

"How long are we going to keep this up?" Yamato said, his expression suddenly very stern. "I mean, how long until Jyou figures it out? Or Hikari? Or even Dad?"

Takeru waited, expecting the inevitable conclusion of their mother finding out. That would just destroy her and had been the main reason Yamato didn't want to confess in the first place. Takeru drummed his fingers in his lap a second, "I don't know..." I mean, you confessed to me, but I DID agree. I've always loved you more than a brother should. I wouldn't be surprised if the others knew at least of my feelings... so I'm as much to blame. "What do we do, Oniichan?"

"Don't say that," the blonde said, tossing his head back into the couch with a sigh.

Takeru smirked and giggled. "S-Sorry. Old habits," Takeru admitted, placing a hand on his brother's chest. He could feel his brother's lanky form through the softness of the dark dress shirt and undid a button teasingly. "Seriously, though, Jyou has to notice you two aren't spending as much time together..."

"I don't mean to ignore him..." Yamato sighed, his eyelashes growing heavy. "I have been distracted with you lately, though. I feel like I'm losing touch."

"Then, why don't you two go do something together?"

"Won't you miss me?" Yamato asked, immediately snapping his head up to look into Takeru's eyes for answers.

"Yes," the younger blonde nodded with closed eyes and a smile, maybe even a chuckle, "I'll miss you always."