Dear Dumbles and the order of the flame grilled chicken.
I wasn't going to write at all but Tom said I should just incase you thought I'd been kidnapped or something.
Actually I was kidnapped last year and you didn't notice so I really don't think there's any point to this letter.
Anyway, like I said last year during the summer I was kidnapped but after the first few minutes I decided I preferred Slytherin manor to Number 4 Privite drive.
I could actually eat a proper meal there you see.
Anyway, the point of this letter is that I have been spying on you for about a year now and reporting everything back to Tom AKA The great dark lord Voldie.
We've gotten married by the way, or bonded, whatever you want to call it. As soon a graduation finished actually.
All of Tom's allies came, the vampires, mere people, veela, etc. I'm sure you know who's not on your side anyway so there's no point me listing them here.
Draco, Lucius and Narcissa came as did Siruis, Remus and Severus. I think that's everyone.
Anyway the point is that all your spies are really OUR spies and that you weren't invited you senile old man.
So yeah, I thought you might have been wondering where I was so that you could sic me onto Voldie but as you've probably gathered I've 'defected' and taken my Godparents with me.
I really would just give up if I were you. Oh! And don't bother waiting for my guilt to kick in. I've got over it already.
I'm finally on the right side on the war. In fact I don't really remember saying I was on YOUR side anyway.
Watch out Dumbles, it's time for people to see how 'light' you really are.
Tom says Hi by the way, well, not in those exact words but this is a polite letter.
Okay, I think I'm done.
-Harry Potter-Riddle.