Disclaimer: Everything you recognise belongs to Disney/Haim Saban

Set after All About Beevil

I'm evil.

Obvious statement right? I'm evil. I was born evil, brought up evil and I've travelled hundreds of light years away from my home evil. My home planet is evil. My whole family is evil. I think that's why Uncle Lothor married into it. Because we're just so evil.

But sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I wonder; what's the point of being evil?

Sure, it can be fun. Mocking people, vaporizing people, just generally being mean. It can so much fun. But it can also be really lonely.

Sounds stupid, right? But it's true. When you're evil, you can't trust anyone because they're all evil too and you're never sure when they might just decide to stab you in the back. I mean, my sister, Kapri, is a perfect example of that.

Sometimes we're, like, really close and nothing can get between us. She'll stand up for me and I know she'll watch my back, no matter what. And other times, she's really horrible to me. She'll ridicule me and do everything her power to make me feel worthless and stupid. And she has a lot of power to do that.

Don't get me wrong, I love my sister. I know, I know, I'm evil, right? I'm not supposed to know love and I'm definitely not supposed to love anybody. But she's my sister, she's my flesh and ooze. I love her, just as much as I love my parents, even though they practically sold us to Uncle Lother. In exchange for what, I don't know and I don't really want to know. I love them. I can't help it and sometimes, I want to stop but I can't. I just want to make them proud and for them to like me. I know Kapri loves me but there are times when I think that mixed in with that love is a huge dislike. Not hate, nothing that strong, but huge dislike, I think, is close.

So that's why I did what I did today. I wanted to make Kapri proud of me. Wanted her to like me. It's not an excuse, and I know as one, it's pathetic. And it's not one. It's the reason why I bought Beevil to earth and set her loose. It's why I pretended I'd gotten kicked off the ship and gained Du – the yellow ranger's trust. It's why I betrayed him.

But something happened to me. I don't know what, I just know my belly hurt and I couldn't really speak and my eyes were really, really stinging when he looked at me like I'd cut his heart out and squashed it while it still beat. And I felt like hell even when I got what I wanted; everyone's approval and pride in that I'd been so underhanded and backstabbing and…evil. It's what I wanted.

Wasn't it?

I don't know anymore. I used to think I wanted to rule their planet with Uncle Lothor and Kapri and make everyone do what I want. But today…with Dustin…

I keep thinking of him. I don't know why. I don't want to. But every time I close my eyes, I see his face. Not when I'd betrayed him. Before, when he trusted me and when he liked me and when he smiled at me and it wasn't fake, it was real.

I don't come across many real smiles and his just took my breath away. Kapri is sure I like him. And I think I might and it's tearing me up inside because I don't want to, damnit, I don't want to like him. Not that way, not any way.

He's the yellow ranger. I'm the evil space ninja. He's nice. I'm mean. He's defending his planet. I'm trying to destroy him so I can co-rule his planet. He's on the side of good. I'm evil. I don't like him. I can't like him. Ever.

I'm evil and he's good and nothing ever comes of anything like that.

I'm evil and he's good and that's all there is to it.

That's all there'll ever be.

I'm good.

I was brought up to be good and to do what's right and to defend what's good and right. Right?

I don't know anymore. The lines have blurred and everything that was so black and white is now just grey and fuzzy and I don't know who's right and wrong anymore. Trust, I found, should be carefully given, even though I've always been taught that you should trust everyone because everyone has a bit of good in them.

I was so sure Marah had more than a bit of good in her. I was so sure that, if only we showed her our life and our way of living, she'd turn to our side. I wanted her to.

When I saw her on the track, before I knew who she was, all I saw was a pretty girl with red eyes and tear streaked cheeks. When she landed on my chest, I thought she was really light and small and delicate and her eyes were so clear and, damnit, pretty.

Her hair was all messed up from our roll and that made me fall even harder because she still managed to look so pretty with her messy hair and miserable face. Something about her made me want to fold her in and just hold onto her until everything was all right.

And I guess that's just what she wanted.

She wanted me to trust her so I would power her friend's power up. I bet she found it hilariously funny; using the rangers' own power to power something that could destroy them. I bet she did.

I'm bitter. It's something I find weird. But I am. Bitter. I don't like being it but I find I can't help it. Just as I can't help wishing she'd meant everything she'd said. I can't help wishing she'd been feeling everything I'd seen in her eyes that morning.

She'd looked so sincere and excited at being good. Her smile was threatening to split her face, I swear. She looked so happy and I couldn't help but think that she suited good way better than evil.

Her bounciness, her hyperness, hell, her smile all suited the side of good so well, it was like she was tailor made to be good.

But she's not. She was born evil and she is evil. Her actions today just proved what everyone knew all along. Everyone, that is, but me.

Marah is evil. She was born evil and she'll continue being evil until we…

I can't think about that. I can't think about that despite all the mean, spiteful, and – damnit – evil things she did today. Despite that fact she made me trust her and then betrayed me in the most horrifying, humiliating way possible. Despite all that, I can't think about that happening to her even though I know, given the chance, she'd do it to me. She'd destroy me without a second thought.

But I can't think of doing that to her. Something happened to me when I was with her. I learnt a hard lesson because of her but something happened to me that's changed how I think about her.

She's not the enemy. In my mind, she is. In my heart, however, she isn't. I don't know how she managed that, and I bet if she knew, she'd see it as the icing on the cake. But it's true, something happened, there's something in her that made me fall for her and now I'll spend the rest of my life hiding whatever it is that's inside my heart for her because she taught me that appearances can really be deceiving and I shouldn't trust so easily.

And because I'm good and she's evil and nothing good comes out of that combination, no matter how much I might want it.

I'm good and she's evil and that's that.

A/N: This is kind of a filler before I post my next Spirit Riders story. For those of you who actually follow the story (please, let them be out there!) I apologise (again and again and again until the next post comes up) for the long delay. It's so hard to write a kicking story after I kill off people and bring them back to life!!! Please, be patient and I'll (hopefully) be putting the next story up by the end of Jan/start of Feb (fingers crossed!!!)

In the meant time, here's the filler. I know this theme has probably been done to death but I couldn't resist jumping in myself. I hope you enjoy:)