Perfection
B. Falconer
He's not gone.
A few years ago, he was all I had. He was my confidant. I turned to him for everything I needed. He knew more than anyone did. I doubt that I will ever find someone better than him... He was perfect. Smart, understanding, and when I saw him, oh-so-lovely... And he was caring. He cared only for me. He was special. Therefore, I was special. He had chosen me.
He took care of me. Because he listened to me, when he asked me to listen to him I could not refuse. I wanted to know everything that he could-- or would-- teach me. He taught me how to do things that no one else would. What was called forbidden in magic was a part of our time together, and I blossomed. I grew smarter. I grew beautiful. I was a doll with skin of the finest white silk. I seemed vulnerable. That was what made me beautiful.
(he told me so)
But no, I was impermeable, adamant—except when I was with him. He was a part of me. I let him be. He was making me stronger. He was making me perfect. Just like him.
I spent almost a year with him before they tried to take him away. He told me the truth about what was happening. He was making me do awful things. After he explained, however, they didn't seem quite so awful anymore. They were magnificent—full of humor and intelligence and death and blood and they were forbidden. I could do anything I wanted. No one could tell me what to do.
(he told me so)
His beliefs became my own. His beliefs were right. They were perfect. I believed in him and he believed in me. And I grew stronger.
When he took me to the place where I wanted to be, with him, a savior came. A savior for me. But he wasn't. He wasn't at all. He was my worst nightmare. But he thought I would be grateful and love him although he didn't know how to be loved. He wanted to be my knight in shining armor and rescue me and say he saved the day. But he ruined it, although I'll never tell him. He thinks he is perfect. But he's not. He's not perfect at all.
My perfect one fought him. Yes, he was mine. And I belonged to him.
(he told me so)
My perfect one lost. He told me it was because they fought with things. He had his imperfect basilisk and the savior had a perfect bird that would never die. My perfect one told me that perfection always wins, because we are stronger. He called me perfect. He had made me perfect.
The perfect bird helped the savior destroy the diary of my perfect one.
I was brought to my parents, who cried.
I was brought to the Headmaster, who was silent. He did not speak. But I heard a voice. It was my perfect one.
Go along with it, he said.
I had heard him before. In the Chamber of Secrets he had told me to go along with the savior, before the savior had come. He instructed me I had to make everyone believe that the savior was perfect. I told him it would be hard. He reassured me I was bound to be a good actress, because I was perfect. He had smiled. And I had melted into his arms.
He called me perfect.
(perfect perfect perfect)
He called me perfect.
I answered as my perfect one told me to answer as the Headmaster asked me questions.
"What happened?"
Cry, my perfect one. And I did, for he had called me perfect.
"What happened?"
Tell him I controlled you through the diary. And I did, for he had called me perfect.
"You may go."
My perfect one laughed, and my heart warmed. He was a part of me. He stayed with me.
Although my appearance is no longer what it once was when I was with him, I am still impermeable. Except for him. Because he is with me.
He's not gone. He never left. He stayed with me. And I am perfect.
(he told me so)
(and I believed)
B. Falconer
He's not gone.
A few years ago, he was all I had. He was my confidant. I turned to him for everything I needed. He knew more than anyone did. I doubt that I will ever find someone better than him... He was perfect. Smart, understanding, and when I saw him, oh-so-lovely... And he was caring. He cared only for me. He was special. Therefore, I was special. He had chosen me.
He took care of me. Because he listened to me, when he asked me to listen to him I could not refuse. I wanted to know everything that he could-- or would-- teach me. He taught me how to do things that no one else would. What was called forbidden in magic was a part of our time together, and I blossomed. I grew smarter. I grew beautiful. I was a doll with skin of the finest white silk. I seemed vulnerable. That was what made me beautiful.
(he told me so)
But no, I was impermeable, adamant—except when I was with him. He was a part of me. I let him be. He was making me stronger. He was making me perfect. Just like him.
I spent almost a year with him before they tried to take him away. He told me the truth about what was happening. He was making me do awful things. After he explained, however, they didn't seem quite so awful anymore. They were magnificent—full of humor and intelligence and death and blood and they were forbidden. I could do anything I wanted. No one could tell me what to do.
(he told me so)
His beliefs became my own. His beliefs were right. They were perfect. I believed in him and he believed in me. And I grew stronger.
When he took me to the place where I wanted to be, with him, a savior came. A savior for me. But he wasn't. He wasn't at all. He was my worst nightmare. But he thought I would be grateful and love him although he didn't know how to be loved. He wanted to be my knight in shining armor and rescue me and say he saved the day. But he ruined it, although I'll never tell him. He thinks he is perfect. But he's not. He's not perfect at all.
My perfect one fought him. Yes, he was mine. And I belonged to him.
(he told me so)
My perfect one lost. He told me it was because they fought with things. He had his imperfect basilisk and the savior had a perfect bird that would never die. My perfect one told me that perfection always wins, because we are stronger. He called me perfect. He had made me perfect.
The perfect bird helped the savior destroy the diary of my perfect one.
I was brought to my parents, who cried.
I was brought to the Headmaster, who was silent. He did not speak. But I heard a voice. It was my perfect one.
Go along with it, he said.
I had heard him before. In the Chamber of Secrets he had told me to go along with the savior, before the savior had come. He instructed me I had to make everyone believe that the savior was perfect. I told him it would be hard. He reassured me I was bound to be a good actress, because I was perfect. He had smiled. And I had melted into his arms.
He called me perfect.
(perfect perfect perfect)
He called me perfect.
I answered as my perfect one told me to answer as the Headmaster asked me questions.
"What happened?"
Cry, my perfect one. And I did, for he had called me perfect.
"What happened?"
Tell him I controlled you through the diary. And I did, for he had called me perfect.
"You may go."
My perfect one laughed, and my heart warmed. He was a part of me. He stayed with me.
Although my appearance is no longer what it once was when I was with him, I am still impermeable. Except for him. Because he is with me.
He's not gone. He never left. He stayed with me. And I am perfect.
(he told me so)
(and I believed)