My Two Feet Alone On the Shore
They told me again and again, a string of words I couldn't understand and stood between us.I told them again and again,
"No, she belongs here, here with me, she's my sister."
And again and again, with words as harsh as the arms that pulled her back further.
"Lenalee!"
I told them I may seem young but I can take care of her, please, I've never hurt her, please.
Lenalee.
And they told me God. Over and over from the words I pulled God.
God.
Who is God?
Who are you, God?
And I learned their words, I worked and studied, I read the book all about God and I came to her in a hall of God. And now we fight in your name, God, I send children out to fight in your name.
Where were you, God, when my parents died?
Were you helping us find another child to tear away from their family, another son, another daughter to erase from life and set aflame to fuel the fire to chase away the dark.
Did you make fire, flame, so brief?
Where were you, God, when a baby had to fight the Earl and where were you when he brought a soul through your gates and they betrayed each other, the child and soul who loved one another more than everything? Were you showing one of us the light you made to save us?
Where were you when this boy lost his heart to fight for you, when this man's love held a knife to his throat, when this woman fell for the twenty-eighth time with no one to catch her?
Where when we lost our sixtieth.
Our hundred and sixtieth?
God, where were you when his daughter was born sick? And why didn't you look his way until he slipped for her so you could deal out punishment? Aren't we all your children? Humans are all your children?
Where were you when the Noah were born, sick.
Where are you when your children die, please, God, where are you? Do you see, do you see them too? The eyes? When they ask me if their comrade died with purpose, if their comrade can go home now, to their love, to their son, their sister? If their comrade is going to heaven? When they look at me and ask that question that you alone can answer, hollow eyes like my hollow words when I swallow my heart and say with a frozen face that you're on our side.
What did I do, why do your turn your face from your warriors who need someone to carry them, how did this become my job, to lead a war? I let them take my sister and chain me here with these harsh words, this language I don't know.
God? God?
Sometimes I forget who God is, sometimes when I pray I feel like an idiot…
talking…
asking someone who's not there to do things no one will do.
God?
God, please?
Why me?
Please please forgive me if you're offended by my use of the name God. I didn't mean it to be applied to your god, simply to be applied to the god in D. Gray Man who is technically the same as the Christian God I think but in a fictional context. I am sincerely sorry if my use of the word upset anyone in any way.
Also... does anyone know which day in October kept repeating for Miranda... I said twenty eight in the fic but I'm not sure so correct me if I'm wrong (which is highly likely)
Oh and that title is from the passage where someone is walking along a beach and God is walking beside them so there are two sets of footprints and the person asks is where there is only one set of footprints if they walked without God and God says it was when He carried them. The title is meant to indicate that God is not there at all.