Prologue
Heroes are meant to be alone.
I am alone.
But I am no hero.
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I was floating, floating weightlessly in a black abyss that held no light, aimlessly wandering through this space where nothing existed, nothing but the past that you could not let go. How long had it been since I have been alive? How long since I have been banished to an existence that was so hopeless? So futile? Restlessly chasing after my mistakes, reliving them again and again in this black tunnel, I have been wandering so long through this darkness, this tunnel of only images that shredded and hurt, I have already lost track of time. Yet, what was time when I was trapped in my own memories? Memories, figments of the past…they exist to haunt you, taunt and tantalise you. They are truly cruel things, that. The ability to remember, to have those bits and pieces come back to you everywhere you turn, to be stuck in those days where things have been so much better. Reliving what I have lost, it really was the cruellest punishment she had brought upon me. I wondered if she knew what she had done when she chanted those words, those simple sentences that brought on my judgement. Do I blame her? Do I hate her? Do I wish for vengeance?
Thinking of her made the darkness deepen and more images of a blonde haired girl to appear, I hated those happy faces of our younger self, when there were trust, friendship and love. All of us were smiling, laughing, curious of the things the world presented to us, wanting to grow up so that we could experience more. We had been idealists, filled with a confidence that we could change the world, improve. All of us had noble ambitions that were big enough to envelop the whole country, our kingdom. We wanted to save everyone and protect those whom we cared about. These were the lessons and ideals our tutors, parents, politicians, aunts and uncles have repeated again and again to deeply embed it in our naïve minds. To them, we are the pillars of society, we had the responsibility of being young to respect the old and accept our destiny, our fate. And we had.
I realised now, how foolish we were then. To follow blindly every order, to obey, to succumb, it dulled our minds, made us nothing but efficient tools. But, he, he had one day stood up to those people, made them see that they were not necessarily always right. He had been so afraid yet, he had shouldered on, his violet gems determined to see it through. And he had won that battle. It was a new start, he had earned the elders grudging respect. It was the beginning of a new era, an era where improvement was imminent. All things had been going well, slowly but surely, they had tried to do the best they could, fulfilling the oaths that they had vowed when they were young.
I remembered, replayed those pictures that could never be erased even if I wanted to, the childhood promises and wishes that we had occasionally burdened upon that one wishing star. We had really worked hard during those years to achieve the results and goals we had set. Yet, as time passed by, people changed, matured, realised even more things that came with the lessons that had to be learnt. I had, personally understood that I was becoming the one person I wished I did not turn into. And, out of the blue, I had seen that one graceful stretch of light and old habits did not die. It had been quite a waste of time, something that I had stopped believing in, a myth that brought on nothing but biased hope, priding myself on trusting only me more than what seemed to be a falling, about to die star. But, through that action, I had been comforted, a small relief that I had not forgotten what it was to be young and not as embittered about the world.
It was ironic, really, recalling that wish. Then, I had wished for myself and them to be able to return to those happier times, a selfish wish because I had been afraid, a fear that seemed so stupid now. I had been so scared that I would lose them, that I would never be able to follow them, only being able to look at them from afar. That was how far our statuses were, they were once again leaving me behind, running so fast that no matter how fast I chased, I never seemed to be able to reach them. That wish and now, being trapped in an never ending loop of regrets was so ironic. I was back in happier times, but not in them, always looking on as the scenes played again and again on the outside, a mental torture I did not know how long I could endure before totally losing myself.
Yet even after it all, I do not regret knowing them.
I do not regret loving them.
I do not regret being killed by them.
I only regret that I had to dirty her hands…
I should have known since the day I accepted that responsibility that I will always be alone. I will always be the outsider, working and protecting from the outer circle, keeping in the shadows, the dark my cover and only friend. I wondered whether the spell from before, the one she had spoken with so much anguish, had split my soul, that I would no longer be reincarnated. The winged beings of the sky, even in death would still, could still be born again if they were deemed innocent and pure. Yet, I sneered to myself, I knew without a doubt that I was a sinner. All for a country, I had given up my own future and killed. I had done so, so many times I have already lost track of how many lives I had taken. The blood and their screams repeated itself again and again in sequence. But, even through it all, she had tried to understand, she had tried to make things right, even though I kept these secrets from her, not wanting to taint her innocence. Neither of them understood the logic of having to make sacrifices. But I did. And that was why I was chosen.
Blonde hair shimmering in the sun, amber eyes shining brightly as her laughter tinkled in the wind.
I wondered how she was, whether she still hated me, if she still retained those memories. We had been lovers back then, back when I was alive, back when I was still the man she loved and respected. She was the one who had killed me. She was the one whom I had allowed to take my life. It was my duty to protect and it was hers too. She was born to protect her brother, the future King, while my duty was to protect the Kingdom, our Kingdom, from any possible threats. It was foreseen in visions by the Royal seers that the prince would bring tragedy and death to the Kingdom, and thus my role as the saviour of the Kingdom was to kill the prince. I had done my job, as usual, without questioning my superiors. I was supposed to be the perfect soldier and it had been drilled into us that our duty was the first and foremost. And with that I had killed my best friend and my lover's brother. If time could be turned back, would I have been able to say I would be able to say no to my duty? Would I have been able to save both the Kingdom and my friend? Would I even have been able to save my own soul?
It's not too late for you. There are ways..
"Not too late, huh…" My words were jumbled, rusty with non use, voice scratchy and gruff. Right now, I was so tired I just wanted to sleep and maybe one day when I woke up, things could be different and I would be given another chance to redeem what I have lost. Or at least, do something that could remedy the situation even though it was too late. Would that be too much to ask?
If you were given a chance to make things right, would you?
"Would I?" I mumbled in my mind, not caring about that voice. There were too many surprises in this black walkway and it was a too high probability that I was hallucinating. A dual personality if you wanted it to be. Too long have I gone without talking to anyone. Who would be here anyways?
You can have that second chance to right all the wrongs in your previous life. Are you willing to take the risk?
"What risk is there? I'm a lost soul, bound to this nothingness for all eternity, not allowed to go anywhere…" Bitter laced through my words as I snickered out loud. Here I could be as rude and unforgiving a character as I wanted. I was entitled to it and I forced those unwanted feelings of hope back into the depths where it belonged. I could not be allowed to feel, not now, not when everything was already determined.
You are so fatalistic. What is wrong with being given a second chance?
"What is wrong? How can you right so many wrongs?"
You can try. The choice is yours.
Blonde hair and fierce amber eyes.
Kind laughter and violet eyes that held out his hand.
"I miss them…I miss them so much…"
I take it the answer is yes…so be it. Your wish is granted.
"Who are you? Why are you helping me? What is the price?"
Go…take back what was forcefully taken away from you.
There is more to your future than this black nothingness. Go and find your own path.
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The robed lady smiled slightly in satisfaction, her brown eyes sparkling as the dot that was once the best soldier of the Crystal Kingdom grew stronger and brighter, finally finding back the will of his to live. She had high hopes for him, for he is the last ever one that she would have. This was his last and only chance to make the mistakes right, to patch up the unforgivable, his chance for redemption. It was hers too, her last and only opportunity to fulfil what her family had never been able to in the past. All of them had been pawns in the past, but now, now when she was stronger, wiser, she would guide them. She would give it her all, her destiny is now, it was the only reason why she had survived that massacre last time, she would gather up all the needed players and the game, battle, would begin.
Turning away from the crystal sphere that was floating in the middle of the room, she took a few steps away from it, before turning again to look at it, her steady gaze never wavering. She clasped both of her hands together and formed a few elaborate signs that were both graceful and precise, her voice strong and clear as she gave her respects to the four Gods that would help her in her next task. She was the last of the oracles and what she was about to do was not their way. She had dabbled into the dark arts, the forbidden craft that her ancestors had all but commanded her to never use. Yet, inexperienced as she was, she had learnt enough to make this spell work and she hoped that her ancestors would approve of what she was doing, they had been a demure bunch, always heeding the will of the King, but that had proved to be their fall, their place in the Royal Palace ousted by that treacherous snake.
But now, she would not be the fool.
She will make sure that this would be last.
"God of the North, God of the South, God of the East, God of the West, I humbly approach you with the wishes of the heart." With each name, she turned once to face the direction that she had just spoken, a light breeze started blowing in the room even if there were no windows and the door was closed as she spoke. "Lend me your power, grant him who has the will to be able to stand strong, allow him the strength to achieve, to fulfil the fate that has been predestined."
"Allow him to defy those that has bound him, regret, sadness, pain, let him gain the power from those emotions, show him the way. Grant him the final power that would finally defeat the one who has bound you to them." The woman in the robe closed her eyes and started chanting in a language that was foreign, her tongue rolling smoothly over the syllables that formed as the breeze turned stronger and more intense, almost whipping up a storm. The woman ignored the harsh cold wind and continued, she was not about to fail the one person she had given hope to. She closed her eyes in concentration, focusing all that she had into the words that she was giving birth, felt the power in the room surge, cresting up like an enormous wave before crashing into the crystal ball, shattering it into a million pieces and for a moment, the woman dared not breathe, dared not move, her fingers clenched tightly into a fist.
Please let this work. Please.
It was not until the darkness cleared up, and a warm gentle yellow filled the room, starting dimly at first, so pale it was almost translucent, but increasing in its brightness as emerald green sparks danced and flitted around the room, only then did she remembered to allow oxygen into her lungs. It was beautiful, the woman thought, speechless, as she stared at it awed, this was the colour of his soul, not dark and angry and red as she expected but such a gentle, warm colour. She had not mistaken the one who would make all these work. A lone tear tracked a path from her eye, touched at the scene that she was witnessing. All her hard laid plans, the calculations for the right time and place, all those mind numbing effort she put in pouring over books in a language she did not even understand or could read. The future that had seemed so bleak now had seemed better.
"Thank you…" She whispered in gratitude as she stood there transfixed, her hood no longer covering her face, exposing a young woman with brown hair and kind brown eyes. She was not by normal standard classically beautiful, had not the high cheek bones or the lanky build fit for a model, but what she lacked in features she made up with character. Her hazel brown eyes were kind and warm, her mouth a warm curve as she smiled in happiness and awe. Hers was the type of beauty that came from her soul and not pretence. Her eyes watched intently as an outline of a figure started to form, blur at first but getting more pronounced as seconds ticked pass.
A baby, a healthy baby boy.
And soon, she knew, she would have to leave, her duty done. She stayed because she had to make sure nothing went wrong and she could only stay until then, longer than that, and the Gods will grow impatient. She had a pay a price, a price that came with their help, but she would gladly give it to them. In this ending story, she would and could not play a role in it anymore, not until the new story began and he, and the rest of them, fully awakened and walked down the path that all of them had chosen. Only then, only till then, would she be able to appear before them once again, to direct them to the one place where all their fate entwined.
It was now all up to them for their future.
It was time.
"God of the North, the wise, God of the South, the cunning, God of the East, the brave, and God of the West, the strength, your humble servant sends you her gratitude. Accept this gift in return for your blessings, it is yours.." With that without hesitation, she slashed open her wrists and allowed the blood that gushed forth to flow into the cup in front of her accompanied with the cries of a newborn baby.
His name will be Athrun Zala.
As her body fell bonelessly to the hard granite floor, she smiled at the imagined ancestors who would be clicking their tongue and shaking their heads with disapproval. Energy sapped away from her as breathing became harder, and her vision grew dim, but she still could see the golden glow, the tears that she held back earlier, flowing freely now. This was why her ancestors disapprove of the dark arts, there was always need for a sacrifice and this was hers. But she had no regrets, she hoped that she would be given a chance to grow with the people that she had held close to her heart that once upon a time, the friends she could not protect. May the Gods be kind to provide her with that one chance, until the next time all of them awakened, she would be there to guide them. It was a promise she could keep this time.
Please, no matter what, please stay safe till then.
I will join all of you this time. I promise.
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Five years later,
"Mama…tell us a story…please tell us a story! I want to listen to the one with the winged people." The little girl with hair like golden spun thread looked pleadingly at her mother who smiled before settling down on the little girl's bed, smoothing the wild curls that ran amock on her head.
"Shouldn't you be asleep by now?" She scolded the young girl of five gently, her eyes kind and loving as she tucked the covers under the girl's chin.
"Kira wants to hear a story too." The young girl ignored the admonition and continued on, dragging her brother who looked at her with wide violet eyes, into the bargain. Her mother looked at her headstrong daughter in slight exasperation, but the love in her eyes shone through and she chuckled, knowing how to lose gracefully when it came to her only daughter. She had been blessed with twins that were like two opposite polars. One was strong willed and outspoken while the other was quiet, observing the world like an old man.
"Cagalli…all right then, one story and then bedtime all right?"
"All right.." Her daughter, Cagalli Yula Athha promised solemnly and smiled so sweetly that her mother did not know whether to laugh or cry at the emotional blackmail.
"Well….once upon a time…"
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It all began a long time ago when the Golden people, wandering holy beings that travelled through space and time made a journey from planet to planet and found a beautiful uninhabited paradise that exploded with colour. It was a lonely lovely planet that the Golden people immediately fell in love with and named it Earth. Yet, Earth as the Golden people knew it was soon besieged by a strange force, an enemy force that hungered after life to sustain itself, had wanted to devour the land that the Golden people held dear. In retaliation, the Golden people who had the power to create, imagined four races, four of them that would in the future rule the sky, the land, the sea and finally the underground. The fight went on long and hard and many were sacrificed, yet, their painful labour soon paid off when the enemy was defeated. The Golden people, afraid that they would yet again bring misfortune to the beings that they had grown close to, made a decision to continue on their journey of aimless wandering, hoping that maybe one day they would finally find a place to call home. With heavy hearts before they left, they amassed the leaders of the beings they had created and left them with this:
"Wing beings, kindest of them all, you shall rule the sky, be taken as angels, and be blessed with ever lasting wind."
"Two legged beings, your mind as sharp as glass, you shall rule the land, be taken as humans and be blessed with ever improving technology."
"Merpeople, you who love the sea, loyal and trustworthy are thee, all of you have been granted a home, rule the waters as fair as you can be."
"Cruel beings, with wings black as sin, you though have helped, yet had betrayed too, you shall have the underground where selfish creatures like you go."
After the departure of the Golden beings, the four designated tribes soon took up their own respective rule and a new chapter of life began. However, the peace that all four tribes promised did not go as smoothly as all of them had wished. It was not long after that that trouble started brewing in parts which continued to infect the others as time went by. A story that should have had a happy ending was ruined by traitors who lust after power and hungered for war. And everything ended and started with the death of a should be King….
Author's note: I know I should not start yet another new project before finishing my others, but this muse bit me and would not let go no matter how hard I shook it. Therefore, this is my new baby, hope you would take care of it. Reviews are very much welcomed and appreciated.