Mallory Archer swirled the drink in her hand before putting the glass to her lips and taking a swig. She sat down at her desk, "You've surprised me. Louise, is it?"
"It is." Louise crossed her arms in front of her, as the others stood behind her.
"That doesn't happen much, I must say I'm impressed."
"And I must say you're doing a hell of a job avoiding my question."
Mallory smirked, "hmm, your father. Well, my dear I assure you it was not my intention to have this mission compromised, but all of you have proven your worth, even if you are children." Mallory hit the call button on her desk, "Cheryl." She said calmly into the intercom. No response. Again, she pressed the button, this time with a little more intensity, "Cheryl!"
The kids began to get antsy, Mallory hit the button for the third time, "CHERYL!"
"Mallory?" Lana Kane, a tall beautiful woman with tech nines strapped in under her arms, walked into the office.
"Oh, Lana, where in the hell is Cheryl?"
"She went with Krieger."
"Why?"
"Cause she's Cheryl."
"ugh, surrounded by idiots. Lana, dear, would you mind taking these children to the conference room."
"We don't have a conference room."
"Fine the break room, whatever, just out of my office."
"I am not a babysitter."
"Oh, I doubt that's necessary." Mallory replied with a sly smile, taking another sip of her drink
"Meaning?" Lana began
"Meaning, shut up."
"Ha!" Louise laughed loudly pointing at Lana.
"Who are these kids?"
Just then Krieger, followed closely by Linda, Pam and Cheryl entered the office. "Tina, Louise!" Linda ran over and pulled her daughters into a hug.
"Whoa, easy mom." Louise said trying to break free, "I'm kind of in the middle of getting dad back here."
"What?" Linda stood up and turned toward Mallory.
"Oh for God's sake." Mallory chugged the rest of her drink and walked around to the front of her desk. "Alright. Come with me." Mallory led the way through the office, down a hallway and into another small door that led to a vestibule. She turned around to face them all, "We are going into the gun range, there is live ammunition being fired, just a warning. Also this." She swung the door open and to everyone's surprise, there was Bob shooting a handgun standing next to another man shooting a handgun, the second man was also, Bob?
Linda pushed to the front, "Bobby!"
Bob froze in place, set his gun down on the table, took his earmuffs off and slowly turned to face his wife. "Hey Lin, and lots of other people. Oh this is awkward"
"What the hell is going on here, who is that?"
Mallory stepped forward, "I think I may be able to explain. You see this is my son, Sterling Archer."
Zeke laughed, "Ha, Sterling. That sounds like a lady."
"Good one Zeke." Jimmy Jr replied giving his friend a high five.
"If you're done." Mallory said fiercely. "This is my son." Archer stepped forward, he looked exactly like Bob, albeit a in a little better shape physically, tall, dark hair and aside from his steele blue eyes he and Bob were identical. "He is the top agent here where we work through government agencies to preform covert operations."
"You're a fricken spy!" Louise shouted "Holy crap, this is AMAZING!" She ran over to Archer, "I have so many questions. Ok, first…"
"Louise!" Bob shouted, "go stand with your mother and listen." Louise moved away, eyes squinted toward her father.
"Any way." Mallory continued, "I guess I'll just get right to the point, Bob, as you've come to know him is also my son. Bob is older than Sterling, and when he was born I thought it best that he live with his father, as I was still an active field agent. A few years later, when Sterling came along, I was in a place where I couldn't leave him with anyone."
"Cause you don't know who his father his." Pam said
"Also, shut up! So he stayed with me. Anyway, as you can see, they look very alike, and the KGB has been searching for Sterling and they began tailing Bob thinking they were the same person. I do apologize, but now that he's back, we plan to utilize the resemblance to set a trap."
"That sounds dangerous." Linda said
"Oh, extremely." Mallory continued, "but we will be training him, and we are hoping to get this resolved so you can all go back to your normal lives and get out of mine."
"So," Tina began, "You're our grandmother?"
"I suppose, technically, but…"
"And, what you're saying is that you are horrible, and you're gonna use our dad as bait to save the son you claim as your own." Linda replied
"Well,"
"And what happens to Bob during this great plan? Huh, miss missy?" Linda continued.
"He will be perfectly safe, I can guarantee it."
"No you can't." Lana said from the back
"Lana!"
"Well, you really can't Mallory, this is dangerous. These are ruthless people."
"Also, what exactly is the plan." Bob finally asked, "I mean, in terms of me being bait, I don't really like that idea. I mean, I can defend myself, obviously I did earlier, but what's the plan."
"To have them follow you, and have us be ready for an ambush rampage, duh." Archer said emptying his clip into the target behind them. "Dude, don't worry, I'm like the best seacret agent in the world, and you're my brother, which I didn't know, but it's totally cool, so I'll protect you."
"He will." Lana leaned in and whispered to Linda, "I know he may seem like a total douche, but he really does care about his family, and you're all his family too."
"Speaking of family, I'd like to have a word with this one." Mallory gestured toward Louise.
"How may I help you?" Louise answered
"How would you like a job?"
"Really?!"
"Oh my God" Bob said
"I don't think so!" Linda yelled
"Oh mom, don't have a crap attack!" Gene entered the room followed by Andy and Ollie
"Hey, that's something I have said." Tina said
"Well I said it better." Gene continued, "Also, what are we doing, I see you've found dad, nice." He looked around the room, and stopped in between Mallory and Louise. "And you are?"
"Oh God, well if I'm taking a guess you're the one I spoke to on the walkie and if that's true, well I'm your grandmother."
"Ahhhhhhhhh." Gene ran around in a panicked circle
"Gene, it's fine, calm down Gene. Oh my God." Bob said putting his hand to his forehead. "Ok, this is crazy, Lin can you please get the kids out of here, it's all fine, I'll be home later."
"Oh no, we are staying through this with you Bob. That's how this family works rememba!"
"Ok fine, everybody shut up." Archer said joining the conversation again. "everyone can stay, we're just gonna need jobs for everyone. I have an idea for the kids, Cheryl, give, I'm sorry babe what's your name?"
"Me? It's Linda."
"Ok, Linda, Cheryl, I need you to give Linda a fake job."
"Umm, yeah, my job isn't even really real so."
"CHERYL!"
"YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!"
"Shut up!" Mallory said "Pam, take her to your office, show her something and sit her at a desk, just make it look good."
"Got it." Pam took Linda's hand and lead her out of the room.
"As for the rest of you, ugh, follow Archer." Mallory conceded. "I'll be in my office having a drink and re-evaluating all my past decisions."
To be continued.