Alice and I sat quietly on the couch, staring at the T.V., hand in hand. No one had really smiled or laughed or been happy sense we left Forks. Sure, we went through the motions when Edward visited, but that's all we ever did. Go through the motions.
Alice shifted and leaned her head against my shoulder and wrapped her arms around me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and laid my head on hers. "I miss her." She whispered. I rubbed my hand along her arm, trying to sooth her. "I know, dear. We all do. We all do."
And it was true, too. Emmett didn't have his usually cheerful personality, Carlisle went to work and went directly into his study, Alice wasn't as perky, Jasper rarely read anymore, the house got messy due to my lack of cleaning, and even Rosalie stopped tinkering with her cars as often as usual. Bella really impacted our lives.
Tanya and her family didn't seem to get how "an insignificant human" could have this much impact on us, but they hadn't known her, hadn't felt like a mother, a father, a sibling or a lover to her. To me, it felt as if a portion of my long-silent heart had been broken off, and would never be returned. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Edward was feeling.
Alice's breathing quickened and she gripped me tighter, a blank look covered her face. I turned to face her and put a hand on her dazed face. "Alice, dear.. what did you see?" Knowledge snapped back to her face and she gripped the sides of my face, her eyes wild with fear. "Bella", she croaked, and closed her eyes, leaning into me. "Alice, what did you see?!" I asked, now panicked.
"Bella. She.. she jumped, Esme.. She jumped off a cliff." She choked out. My eyes widened, and I pulled her to me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, and sobs broke out from each of us. She jumped off a cliff. A cliff. Like I did, so many years ago. But there was no one there to save her, was there? No one there to give her life again. Alice sobbed even harder and I gripped her tighter as she did to me.
"We can't tell Edward. We just can't." I whispered. Alice nodded, and pulled back to look at my face. "I'm going. I'm going to Forks. I have to.. I have to do something! I'll help Charlie, anything.. I'll go to the funeral, too. Will you come, Esme? Please?" She asked. I didn't know if I'd be able to handle that, going to see Bella, my dear almost – daughter, being put in the ground.
"Alice, dear.. I don't think we should go. I can't handle that, and Edward said - "
"Edward said to stay away from Bella. Bella won't know, will she? I just need to see her, Esme.. I need to talk to Charlie, he's got to be devastated." I nodded slowly, Alice thanked me and darted upstairs to gather her things.
I couldn't believe it. My Bella. Dead.
I had lost another child.