Okay, I admit it, I'm awesome. What does that funny word 'modesty' mean again?
Namine's Guide To Getting The Guy You Like
Okay, I'm going to come out and admit it, I like Riku.
Like LIKE him, okay, unfortunately, 'I'm a nobody and I have no emotion' is what everyone assumes when they meet me.
That and I'm practically Kairi, so if you date both of us at the same time it's not cheating.
It pisses me off.
Oh, did I say that out loud? My bad, please ignore the short bursts of anger, it happens when YOU'RE CONSIDERED EMOTIONLESS AND NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ON A DAILY BASIS!
Anyway, I came up with the very ULTIMATE (times a billion) guide with 5 tips to getting the guy you like (please note that if you follow any of these steps you're taking advice from a rabid nobody who HAS A HEART)!
Tip #1: Be Direct And Find Out How He Feels About You
Ask your third-best friend to ask his best friend what he thinks about you.
"Hey Roxas!" I ran over to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the blitz-ball (Note: see tip 3) game he was watching and behind a tree.
"What's up Namine?" I can tell he wants me to hurry.
"Remember how I helped you hook up with that girl from my art class? Marcia or whatnot? Also when I helped you prove she was cheating on you and helped you hook up with your current girlfriend, Andrea?"
"Okay, what do you need me to do?"
"Ask Sora what Riku thinks about me, privately and subtly, or I'm posting those pictures of you and Axel on every website I can find."
His eyes narrowed, "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"Because, I don't HAVE pictures of myself and Axel being drunk and…"
"Okay okay!" He put his hand over his eyes, "I'll do it."
I patted his head, "And that's why I love you."
I turned around flounced off.
Did I really have pictures of Roxas and Axel you may wonder?
No, I don't. But guess who DOESN'T know that!
Tip 2: Change Your Outlook To Appeal More To Him
Usually any friends of the female gender know how to do this (cause I sure don't, I just research this stuff on the internet).
"Hey Kairi, wanna give me a makeover? One that would appeal to say…I dunno, Riku?"
"You like him don't you?"
I rolled my eyes, "ME, like HIM? Dudette, half the time I have no idea if he's a girl or a guy."
"Why would you get a makeover that appeals to him?"
"Umm…well, OMIGOSH LOOK! THERE'S A SALE AT THE MALL!"
Kairi squealed and grabbed her purse and my arm, "OMIGOSH! We're TOTALLY buying you a new wardrobe, and one that appeals to the male gender too!"
Yes, I had to be dragged through store after store and forced to try on everything that looked remotely cute, but boy, it was WORTH it!
Tip 3: Get His Attention
Mainly, PLAYING SPORTS! (I'm a genius)
"Hey Tidus, can I play blitz-ball with you?"
He looked at skeptically, "Do you even know how to play?"
"Yeah, Dem and Zex taught me, so can I?"
He nodded and I was put on a team with Tidus, and Sora, playing against Riku, Wakka, and Roxy.
Okay, time of truth, remember Nami, you didn't stay up all night memorizing blitz-ball for dummies for nothing, show 'em what ya' know.
After about 10 minutes in Roxas ran by me, "He's worried you're going to kill yourself. And how come Dem and Zex taught you and not me?"
I stole the ball from him, "Cause they love me more."
I never ran faster in my life, I saw Riku dive, in an attempt to trip me, but I was too fast and it turned into a full blown tackle.
Maybe this wasn't one of my best ideas.
"NAMINE? ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?" I snapped into reality to find Riku's hands on my shoulders, shaking the intelligence back into me.
"I'm okay, that was fun, and can we do it again?"
Riku frowned and lifted me off the ground easily, "You guys continue playing, I'm going to make sure Nami isn't concussed to badly, just play two-on-two."
I crossed my arms and stuck out my bottom lip, no way was I going without a fight.
"Namine, what on earth were you thinking? Playing BLITZ-BALL with US?"
"Sexist."
He blew a chunk of hair out of his eyes, "Mature, really, it's amazing you're in the same grade as Kairi, seriously, what happened to drawing?"
"You guys look like you're having so much fun; I wanted to have fun too." I lied cutely.
"Yeah, well Blitz-Ball is one of the things I'm banning you from, okay?"
"Sexist, put me down, I'm not concussed."
He shook his head and continued walking down to the doctor's office.
Okay, turns out, yes, I do have a concussion, but I CERTAINLY got his attention (only now he's keeping an eye on me and won't let me do anything fun, phooey)!
Tip 4: Help Him With His Fangirl Problem
If you're not crushing on somebody with fangirls you have horrible taste, go put a bag on your head!
Okay, this easy enough, wait until he's vulnerable.
I sat high in a tree, holding a pair of binoculars, a shotgun, my lunch box, and my sketching stuff.
I kept the focus on Riku as he bought a couple boxes of strawberry pocky (my favorite), then as he ate a chocolate ice cream, then looked for a good spot to eat lunch.
No, I'm not stalking, I'm protecting him.
I took a bite of my apple and sighed, this is way boring, you would've figured wearing a skin-tight-tank-top and cargo shorts might attract fans of all genders!
"RIKU-KUN!"
I was sketching the outline of that stupid bird that kept stealing peanuts (HE MUST DIE) when it thought I wasn't looking, so I wasn't expecting that to happen and I jumped.
Just as Riku ran under the braches my pens dropped on his head, and I accidentally slid around so I was holding on to the branch like a sloth.
Oh, this is a little scary, I tried to climb back up, but I only succeeded in knocking over the rest of my peanuts, the bird (in its hurry to grab them) knocked over my bag. I squeezed my eyes shut as pencils clattered to the ground, trying not to imagine that being me…
"Namine, what the hell are you doing up there?"
"Bird watching, but it isn't going to well."
I looked down, Riku was looking up at me with obvious anger, I squeaked and bit my lip, trying not to scream.
"Get down now, and hurry, the fangirls are coming!"
'CRACK'
Oh, that sounds bad.
The branch broke, and I let go and came tumbling down, screaming at the top of my lungs.
Riku's strong arms caught me and pulled me against his chest. He began to run so fast the world became a blur.
When he stopped running, he put me down and glared down at me, "I'm serious, you have a death-wish, and it's starting to piss me off!"
I looked down and traced lines in the sand with my foot, "I figured that if nobodies can't feel, we can do the stuff that scares normal people, like climbing really high and drawing birds."
He sighed, "I know when I lose, okay, you win, you have a heart, just stop being a stupid blonde daredevil when nobody…I mean no one with authority is around!"
Tip 5: Catch Him Off Guard
Like kissing him at a random moment!
He pushed my chin up so I was looking up at him (it's not fair that he's 8 inches taller than me), "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
I nodded, then slid my hands around his neck (his eyes widened at this).
" Nam? What are you doing?"
I yanked myself upward and crushed my lips against his (I got a satisfying 'mmfpht' at this) and accidentally knocked him over on his back.
"MMMMFT!" He exclaimed, but he didn't push away, so I skimmed my tongue across his mouth. He growled and I slipped my tongue through his defense (earning myself a moan from him).
He must've just realized he did that and I found his weak point because he wrapped his arms around my waist and rolled over so I was stuck underneath him, and his tongue pushed mine back and entered my mouth.
After four good seconds of making out he pulled away, a look of shock on his face.
"Holy crap, you just kissed me…"
"Duh, what next captain obvious?" I tried to pull him into another one.
"…and I enjoyed it…"
He looked at me again, with that same dumbfounded look on his face, and then stood up, pulling me to my feet.
He probably hates me, why couldn't I just act normal and gone through life crushing on him from afar?
He grabbed me by the shoulders and pressed his lips on mine forcefully.
Okay, now help me out here, does this mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend?"
This is what happens when you eat too much McDonalds sugar packets, they might taste good but you get random ideas into your head, so I apologize and don't care if you flame me.
What'd ya think though?
Oh, and sorry about the OOC-ness, my brain was ker-fuzzled.