GLEE

I personally think people should be made more aware of self harm. It's not a light topic and people joke about it too easily. I've been struggling with self harm on and off for just over a year now and it's consuming, addictive and just not something someone should have to deal with on their own.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I only own this story which was made for pleasure not profit. All mistakes are mine, I have no beta. Happy reading, people. :)

~GLEE~

Take Off Your Mask

"Mr Schue?" Finn timidly entered the choir room. His teacher was bent over a box of sheet music, his back to Finn.

"Oh, hey, Finn." Will looked over his shoulder at his student. "Just two seconds." He looked back to the over filling box in front of him. Finn nodded and stood for a moment. He laughed as the teacher groaned. "Where the heck..."

Finn shook his head with a laugh and took a couple steps closer before stopping dead. Mr Schue was wearing jeans. Tight jeans. Finn blinked a couple of times; Mr Schue must have been working out. He shook these thoughts from his head. Finn Hudson was not checking out a teacher's ass. Never. He wasn't even gay! He heaved a shaky sigh as the Spanish teacher finally stood and turned around. "What's that?" He nodded to the CD in the older man's hand.

"This is the song you need most practice dancing to." Mr Schue's laugh echoed around the empty classroom and rang in Finn's ears like music.

"Thanks." Finn said sarcastically. Mr Schue put the disk in the CD player and walked up to Finn.

"So, you'll be dancing with Rachel, right?" Finn nodded, fairly glumly, as the music started. Will held up his arms and Finn closed the gap between them. "This arm here." Will guided one of Finn's hands to his waist. "Closer." Finn shuffled closer to his teacher until there was no gap.

The teen's throat went dry as their chest touched and his head spun as they started dancing to the music. They had been dancing for a fair few minutes before Finn doubled over, out of breathe. "Mr Schue, can I take a break?" He panted.

He heard a deep laugh. "'Course you can." Finn took a few seconds to catch his breath and when he stood upright again, he saw his teacher had discarded his sweater and was now clad in his white shirt and dark jeans with suspenders. He almost whimpered. He almost whimpered like a girl. But he's not gay, need I remind you. "You okay, Finn?" Will furrowed his eyebrows in concern when Finn seemed frozen in his place.

"Err... Yeah." He stuttered. "Just a bit..." He bit his lip. "... hot." He concluded, subtly looking his teacher up and down.

Will smiled. "You can take off your jacket you know." He indicated to Finn's zip up hoodie. Finn raised an eyebrow and smirked playfully. "Oh c'mon, Finn!" Will pushed him lightly. "Get your mind out of the gutter, will you?"

"Admit it, I'm irresistible!" Finn joked, unzipping his jacket slowly and 'seductively' whilst humming Jessica Simpson's Irresistible. He laughed and threw the jacket on the grand piano. Will rolled his eyes at his student. He flopped down onto a chair and put his head into his hands, groaning. "I'm not being a pain in the neck, am I?" Finn asked, guiltily.

"No, Finn, it's not you." Will bit his lip slightly. "Things have been a bit all over the place with..." He stopped, knowing he shouldn't get his students involved with his personal life.

"You can tell me, you know." Finn sat next to him. "I've got no one to tell. Is it Miss Pillsbury?"

Will looked at him in pure shock. "How did you know?"

Finn shrugged. "Not that hard to tell, Mr Schue. It's kinda obvious you like her. Want her, even. Sorry, I know she's married."

Will flushed bright red. "Is it?" Finn nodded. "Well, it's not only that." Will sighed. "You know, I think we should just get back to the lesson."

Finn nodded and stood. "Yeah, let me amaze you with my awesome dance skills." Will laughed at his student. "Joke, joke, I can't dance for shit."

"Language, Finn." He said, not entirely sternly. It amazed Will how Finn could make him laugh he felt like, well, crap basically. He watched as Finn rolled up his sleeves but widened his eyes when he saw what was on his arms. "Finn?" He looked from the young boy's eyes to his wrists and back again.

Finn reddened and Will saw him gulp. He hastily pulled his shirt back over his arms, covering the cuts. "Don't worry Mr Schue, i-it was just an accident." He tried to sound confident but his voice trembled. "J-just an accident." He repeated.

Will walked up to him. "Are you sure?" He asked, looking deep into his eyes. Finn couldn't stand how close they were to each other. He couldn't stand looking into his eyes a moment longer, so shifted his gaze to the window over Mr Schue's shoulder. "Or did you do it to yourself?" He whispered. Finn's eyes filled with tears. He nodded. He expected Mr Schue to shout, saying it was a pathetic thing to do and he thought better of him. But, what he did was much worse; he pulled him close and wrapped his arms around his body.

"I'm sorry." Finn whispered as he let the tears cascade down his cheek. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his teacher's cologne feeling his nose.

"Don't apologize, Finn. You have no reason to apologize." Will rubbed soothing circles on his back. After a minute or two of hugging in silence, Will pulled back and looked at Finn. "Shall we talk about it?"

Finn shrugged. "Do I have a choice?" Will gave him a crooked smile and tugged on his hand. They sat back down the same chairs. "Just... Please don't tell anyone." Finn pleaded.

Will shook his head. "Don't worry, I won't." He placed a gentle hand on his thigh. "But tell me, why?"

Finn was momentarily distracted by Mr Schue's hand. He glanced at it then down at his shoes. "Quinn cheated on me. She slept with my best friend. My best friend got my girlfriend pregnant. Then Rachel cheated on me. Made out with my best friend." He went over the list of reasons why he could barely live any more. "Puck's apologized and shit and we're cool again but..." He hesitated. "It just doesn't seem right. I'm happy to let it slide, I don't want to lose him, but he's just not the same. He just doesn't look at me the same, you know?" Finn glanced at his teacher who nodded slowly.

Will squeezed his thigh comfortingly. "But Finn, hurting yourself does not solve anything. It just makes everything worse."

"Don't you think I know that!" Finn shouted. "Don't you think I thought about the consequences of anyone finding out every time I put that fucking razor to my skin!" (1)

Will bit his lip, hating seeing Finn like this. Sure, he had seen Finn cry before, when he had found out Quinn was pregnant, and he had seen him angry on more than one occasion. But he had never seen him depressed. Actually depressed, feeling like he wanted to give up on life. "Finn, you could have at least talked to some one."

"Like who! I have no girlfriend, no best friend, Kurt is my brother but I just don't think he'd understand, my Mum's all lovey dovey with Kurt's Dad, I don't wanna ruin her happiness and I would go to Miss Pillsbury, she barely knows me so can't judge me, but I just want someone I know and trust to talk to." He said, fairly quickly.

Will sighed. "You have me."

Finn looked at the older man and felt his heart speed up slightly. "But I know you've been having your own troubles at home so I didn't want to bother you." He said quietly.

"I'm your teacher, that's what I'm here for." Finn sighed and stood. He paced up and down in front of Will. "How long have you been doing it?"

"Since the day I found out it was a lie." He said. "After the whole thing with me and Puck, you know I left?" He stopped pacing just to see Will nod. "I went to the toilets and did it then. And at least once a week since."

"That's a long time, Finn." Will said, pulling on his hand once he got close enough. Finn sat back down and shrugged.

"It just makes me feel better, you know? Like, when I feel lonely and out of control, this is the one thing that keeps me sane. Lets me know I still have blood running through my veins and I'm not entirely separate from the world. Because, that's how I feel. I feel like I don't belong here, with everyone else. They all seem so... So happy. And I'm just the tall dumb jock which nobody really cares about too much. Nobody cares enough to notice I'm depressed and sad and lonely. Everyone thinks, I'm the quarterback, go me! I should be so happy. But I'm not. I know what happiness feels like. I felt it before, with Quinn. And Rachel. And I know it's there. I know I'm capable of feeling it again. But I just... Can't. I can't reach it. I just can't." His voice finally cracked and fresh tears ran down his cheeks.

Will sighed and blinked back his own tears. "Have you ever been suicidal?"

Finn nodded. He pulled up his right sleeve and pointed to a cut in the crook of his elbow. "I was going to but I stopped."

"Why?" Will asked.

"'Cause I heard my Mum. She was singing Que Sera,Sera. It was my Dad's favourite song and we played it at his funeral." Finn smiled slightly. "I miss him." He whispered. (2)

"I know, I know." Will hugged Finn. He kissed his forehead.

Finn looked at Will with desperate eyes. "Mr Schue..." He whispered, leaning closer.

"Finn..." Will breathed. "I..." He bit his lip. "Screw it." He growled, before cupping Finn's face in his hands and crashing their lips together.

Finn suddenly jumped back, face flushed. "God, I'm so sorry Mr Schue." He stood and made for his bag but a strong hand held him back.

"Finn." Will had a crooked smile on his face. "I kissed you, Finn."

The younger male's mouth opened and then closed. "Mr Schue..." He started, looking to the ground in embarrassment. Sighing, he groaned, "I'm so fucking messed up."

Will laughed, a small and adorable laugh. "Well, I enjoyed it so wouldn't that make me more messed up than you?" He asked.

"I really like you, Mr Schue." Finn blurted out, not really knowing what he was getting in to. "I mean, not just some teacher crush I really, really like you." He sighed. "I've just made a fool of myself."

His teacher smiled. "No, you haven't, Finn. Maybe we should talk... You know, about these feelings you're having."

"With you? The one I'm having feelings for? You're smart, Mr Schue, but that's a terrible idea." Finn shook his head and added in a mumble, "I'd just rather kiss you."

"Fine." Will cupped his student's face again and kissed him, with much more vigour this time. Finn groaned into his mouth.

"Will." Finn moaned against the older man's lips, sending heat throughout his body and straight to his groin.

Will pulled back slowly, smiling gently when Finn chased his lips. "Say my name again."

The teenager blinked. He licked his lips before whispering, "Will."

His teacher smiled and pulled back fully. "Are you going to get help, Finn?"

"Maybe... Probably not."

"Then I'll help you." Will took his student's hand into both of his own and squeezed gently. "I promise, you will get better. You're not alone, Finn. You may think you are at times, but just remember, I'm here for you. I'll give you my number," He pulled out a pen from his trouser pocket and wrote his number down on Finn's hand, "And if you ever need to talk to me, call me. No matter what time it is, where you are, where I am, call me. Promise?" When Finn nodded, Will gave him a chaste kiss. "You're going to be okay, Finn. I promise." He wiped the last tear from Finn's cheek.

~GLEE~

(1) I said something along these lines when one of my friends found out I was self harming.

(2) Que Sera Sera was actually played at my Nan's funeral. It was her favourite song. It makes me cry every time I hear it

Pretty lame, I know, but thank you for reading. I would like to take this moment to thank Sarah AKA 'foraworldundeserving' so, SO much. She has been amazing. She has listened to me blabber about my struggles and my life. She has been there for me, even though she's on the other side of the world. She's made me feel special and loved when I've felt alone. She's an amazing writer and an even better friend. Words can't describe how much it means to me that someone who barely even knows me is willing to sit and read through messages about my life. She's been a great help, whether I wanted to tell her how I almost relapsed, how my sister gave birth to a baby girl, how I cried myself to sleep and skipped school the next day or how my Dad is a bit of a nutter, but I love him to bits anyway. She's just been someone to turn to and for that, I love her :) So, again, thank you so much Sarah.