"Without You Here To Hold Me"
Author: Kate
Rating: PG
Summary: For all the people he'd saved, all the people that he'd helped, there'd be another hundred that despised him for what he'd done, even if what they knew was nothing close to the truth. And those that did know, wouldn't care, because he'd fallen.
I
It had taken them years; a lifetime, even, to see the Demon's downfall. Lives had been given to the cause; their Mom's, then Dad's, and Sam's, with countless in between the three, and he was willing to relinquish now? To throw everything away? To have let Sam die, and to be living only because of his own father's sacrifices?
He could almost laugh at the irony.
For twenty-five years they'd fought; for lives, for revenge, but now, he wonders if it was all worth it. Was the Demon's retribution really more important than Sam's life? Than his own life?
So many questions.
He supposed, he'd at least have time to answer them. Time to ask the tireless question 'why?', as he saw the conceited smile cross over Henrickson's face every time he passed his cell, a spring in his step because he was free, and Dean wasn't. Something he'd dreamt of for many years, Dean had come to realize.
There was no point in fighting this, though. There's no pointing in battling for freedom, for life, when you don't even want to live it anymore. It's better just to waste your life away in a cell, and to know that at least you've spent part of it doing something good.
But for all the people he'd saved, all the people that he'd helped, there'd be another hundred that despised him for what he'd done, even if what they knew was nothing close to the truth. And those that did know, wouldn't care, because he'd fallen.
Without Sammy there to hold him, he'd fallen. He was no longer the hero; this time he was the villain.