Author's Note and Disclaimer: I just couldn't help myself, guys. I had to. For those who aren't aware of the recent plagiarizing event, turns out someone has been liberally cutting and pasting my XII fanfic and posting it as her own all over the place. Even the chapter titles. Tiny changes were made regarding original characters, but that's about it. For more information about this, please visit my profile page.

In the meantime, I decided to poke a little fun at the situation. So, I created this little oneshot parody of a public service message aimed at plagiarism and the "offender." I had some spare time and I had fun doing it ;) Why not?

I've even made a reference from an idea another fanfic member gave me :) See the footnote at the very bottom.

And of course, the characters of Final Fantasy XII were created by Square-Enix, but the idea of this story is mine (hopefully it won't be plagiarized), so please give credit where credit is due.

And now, a friendly public service message from your beloved Final Fantasy XII characters:

"Good afternoon," Basch bowed towards the screen. "I am glad you've visited us, as we have something important to remind you. A violation has late occurred and we have but no choice but to seek out this atrocity committed and administer punishment accordingly." He brandished an axe and clenched it tightly.

"Basch," Ashe interrupted softly. "We have not the means to do that here. You are over-zealous."

"Of course," Basch cleared his throat. "Forgive me, Majesty."

"We're here to deliver a message; mostly concerning the abundantly creative members of this site. Whether you be a victim or an offender, this applies to both. We are here to discuss the appalling plague wrought upon us called 'plagiarism.'"

"Kupo?" Montblanc scratched a fuzzy ear.

"What exactly is plagiarism?" Vaan asked.

"Glad you asked, Vaan," Balthier replied with fake cheer. "Essentially, it's stealing someone else's work or ideas and presenting them as your own. The original creator thus receives neither credit nor acknowledgement, and the petty braggart who stole in the first place remains undoubtedly fake."

"So, it's cheating," Penelo said.

"Quite," Balthier replied.

"But...but, Balthier...you steal all the time!" Penelo put her hands on her hips. (1)

Balthier raised an eyebrow at her. "I steal mere trinkets, my dear, not the intelligence of others, for I have enough intelligence myself."

Fran grinned at him. "So you think."

"Of course. I am the leading man, after all."

"If the material is copyrighted, then the action can be highly illegal," Basch interrupted the banter impatiently, getting back to the subject. "People benefiting off the work of others has its consequences."

Larsa turned towards the screen and smiled. "So, if you would please but follow the rules and maintain an air of dignity, plagiarism can be easily avoided simply by using your head."

"What he means," Balthier interrupted callously, "is that you're a bloody idiot if you plagiarize."

"Everyone has a brain," Penelo chimed in. "It's just that not everyone uses one."

"Well met, Penelo," Larsa nodded. "Plagiarizers would do well to remember the consequences of their actions. In Archades, such violations are not gone without punishment."

"What do you mean?" Vaan asked.

"My brother had them thrown in prison for life," Larsa replied nonchalantly. "Of course, such action would not be taken by someone such as myself. I see fit for a more labor-intensive punishment, like cleaning chocobo corrals or even wiping up the filth in Old Archades. It's just as well. Since I am now Emperor, we need someone to tidy up the place."

Vaan curled a lip as he thought about cleaning up Old Archades.

"Interesting, Larsa," Balthier grinned, "that you should put the rats back where they belong."

"Hang on a second," a voice rang out. Everyone turned to look and found a young girl standing before them.

"Like, can we like, cut-and-paste and then change the wording around?" The girl asked.

"Who are you?" Vaan raised an eyebrow.

"Begone, you little upstart," Fran said crossly.

"Kupo, that's a plagiarizer!" Montblanc cried.

Everyone gasped and took a step back. A chocobo ruffled his feathers and let out a shriekish "kweh!!" Montblanc clutched his hunting mark posts tightly in his arms, even though the rolled parchments were nearly as tall as he.

"You'll not get ahold of these, kupo!" he railed. "I'm getting them stamped this very afternoon! You can't copy them, kupo!"

The girl glanced around, confused. "Like, huh?"

"In answer to your question, no," Basch spoke up gruffly. "You must re-word everything, as if it came from your own thoughts, and not take the words from another."

"But, like, we've already copied the game script, like," the tween replied huffily. "Isn't that plagiarism?"

"Not if the writer acknowledges that the work is not his or her own," Ashe spoke up. "In the beginning of each story the author must give credit to the original creators. It is also almost an unwritten understanding that the readers know which is which – what belongs to us - "

"Us meaning the Final Fantasy XII Party and Square Enix, of course," Balthier interrupted.

"Yes," Ashe replied in annoyance, "what belongs to us and what belongs to the author. The author may have had original ideas of his or her own as well."

"But, like, it's all posted up on the website," the tween shook her head. "It's fair game."

"'Tis not," Basch crossed his arms. "Copying someone else's work is forbidden and looked down upon."

Everyone glared at the teenager.

"Not only are you hurting yourself, but you're hurting the original author and your readers by lying," Penelo added.

"Hurting the author?" Balthier glanced at her incredulously. "Pissed off, more like."

"Dude, like, this is soooooo not like MySpace," the plagiarizer rolled her eyes. "What's the big deal? It's just FanFiction."

Ashe leaned over to Basch and whispered, "What's MySpace?"

Basch gave her a confused shrug. "I know not, my lady."

"No legal action can take place, kupo," Montblanc chimed in, "since this site isn't exactly based on one-hundred percent original ideas, but people will still know about plagiarism. It's a very lowly thing to do, kupo." He let out an irksome, moogle growl.

"I don't know what's worse," Balthier grunted. "Wasting time re-writing stories already written, or wasting time re-writing stories that were already re-written based off an already written story."

The chocobo stared at Balthier and let out a confused "kweh?"

Fran suppressed a chuckle.

"Giving the author credit sometimes isn't enough," Vaan added. "You can't just steal their ideas, mold it to your liking, and then say 'Oh, look! This other person's story is great too!' That's not good enough."

"As if we needed to explain that," Balthier groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"Some people just don't get it," Penelo whispered to him.

"So, like, what happens to you if you, like…copy?" the plagiarizer asked.

"We hand you over to Ba'Gamnan," Balthier snapped.

"Please settle yourself," Fran grinned at him.

"Well, in normal circumstances, plenty of things can happen," Larsa explained. "You can be sacked from your job…you can be expelled from academic institutions…some places even ban you and you are never allowed back in. It is forever branded on your reputation that you have cheated. Most places keep records now."

"Too bad this is Final Fantasy," Vaan mumbled. "We don't have any lawyers here, do we?"

"No, but we've got Judges," Larsa gave him a mischievous grin.

"We can always bypass that and teach the whelp a lesson here and now," Balthier cracked his knuckles.

"Not necessary, Balthier," Ashe reminded him with clenched teeth. She turned to the teenager. "However, should you feel the need to whet your appetite for creative fiction, abandon your plagiarizing ways at once, as you will not go far in life if you continue this nonsense."

"And for God's sake, practice safe sex," Balthier added with a grin.

Everyone stared at him.

"What? If we're to deliver a public message, why not kill two birds with one stone?"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

(1) Pen name Riny Beoulve gave me the idea of Balthier stealing. Witty. Noticed how I made a reference on purpose? I referenced someone else's idea. Just to get the point across, if I haven't already.