AN: My opreversebang for 2016! This is basically super super late, for which I am very very very sorry, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway.
The art/title page was drawn by th 0blue-bird0! Go check it out in high quality on their tumblr vuv
"So, my boss turned into a monster this morning," Nami said conversationally as she walked in through her front door. "Like, an actual monster. A spiky, terrifying, two times my height monster."
She threw her bag towards the couch, and heard Luffy give a loud, surprised yelp, before a bundle of black fur hurtled over the back of the couch and he glared at her. "Hey!" he said grumpily, whiskers twitching in irritation.
"My boss turned into a monster," Nami repeated through gritted teeth, crossing her arms. "And, even worse than that, I think Tashigi might actually hate me. My day has been awful!"
Luffy drawled out a low, annoyed meow of protest, bonelessly flopping onto the couch before whining, "How is that worse? And why'd that mean you had to throw a bag at me?"
"Tashigi is cute and gay and single!"
He meowed again, this time the sound more like a groan, before saying, "Does the monster-boss thing mean you believe me about magic, now?" Luffy's nose wrinkled, delight and excitement invading his tone. "Are you finally gonna be my magical girl?"
Nami pinched the bridge of her nose, heaving a heavy sigh. "I've believed you about the magic thing since you showed up in my fucking apartment and started talking, you stupid cat," Nami grumbled bitterly, and headed further inside her small apartment. Luffy's tiny black form jumped from the couch and twined around her feet, his soft fur brushing her ankles until she collapsed on the couch Luffy had just vacated. She flopped backwards with a groan and threw her arm over her eyes. "I just- monsters? That's really a thing?"
"And you have to fight them! By becoming a magical girl!" Luffy said, as though she could have forgotten, and Nami groaned again.
"Why me? Isn't there anyone else? I just want to graduate college and get a job, and live with my future girlfriend in a lovely house by the ocean. Is that too much to ask?"
Nami peaked out from under her arm to see Luffy making a gesture that looked almost like a shrug. "How am I supposed to know if it's too much to ask? I just want you to become a magical girl."
"Yes well I don't want to. As I've repeated for the past two months."
Luffy gave a mutinous mumble under his breath, and jumped up on the couch next to her, moving until he could curl up on her lap with a huff. "Bet Zoro didn't have this problem getting his magical girl to fight monsters, can't believe that I-"
Nami blinked, sitting up so she could stare at Luffy. "What did you just say?" she asked, and Luffy turned his head to blink at her with wide eyes.
"Zoro's probably already finished his job and gets to eat whatever he wants?" Luffy said, and then whined lowly in his throat, head flopping onto his paws. "I want to eat whatever I want. It isn't fair that I don't get my stomach back until I find a magical girl."
Dismissing the disturbing implications of Luffy apparently missing his stomach (how on earth that worked, she didn't know, and didn't want to know), Nami said, "There are more of you? There are more magical girls?"
Luffy nodded dejectedly, his nose wrinkling. "There's me, Zoro, and Chopper. Well I mean there's more than us? But we're the best!" he grinned, making a tiny shuffling sound that resembled laughter. "Anyway, we fight the monsters. Most'a the others just make 'em. All you have to do is-"
"I get to work with cute girls?"
Luffy shrugged, his face utterly confused. "Yes…?"
"Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Nami yelled, jumping up from the couch and making Luffy yowl in surprise as he was sent flying.
"How was I supposed to know you'd become a magical girl for girls?" Luffy said, picking himself up from the floor with a whine and circling himself to check that he hadn't landed in anything painful. "You always said no!"
Nami crossed her arms, huffing. "You shoulda just said cute girls were involved in the first place." She paused, and realisation hit her like a truck. "Oh my god I can Lois Lane them."
"Huh?" Luffy asked, licking his paw, and Nami grinned, leaning down to scoop him up.
"I'm going to be the best magical girl ever and I'm going to save all these cute girls, and they're going to fall in love with me and it's going to be amazing."
"Uh-" Luffy said, his back paws pedalling frantically as Nami swooped him around the room. "Hey, as long as you become a magical girl and I get my stomach back, sure! Lois Lane all the girls."
"All of them," Nami agreed, rubbing her nose against Luffy's soft fur, and Luffy finally made an annoyed noise, struggling from her grip and jumping down to the table.
"Okay, okay, let's go! Let's get me my stomach back!"
"What do we have to do?" Nami said, and Luffy paused, his mouth open.
"I- uh..." he shifted sheepishly, and Nami was sure that if a cat could sweat, Luffy would be making a small waterfall. "I forgot?"
"You what?" Nami said, dropping to kneel in front of Luffy. "How the fuck did you forget?"
"It's been two months!" Luffy said, tone dropping into a whine, "I'm hungry!"
"Make me a magical girl!" Nami yelled, squishing Luffy's face between her palms, "I want to rescue cute girls and get kissed for being a beautiful superhero!"
"I don't know how!" Luffy yowled, trying to squirm from her grip, "I'm hunnngry!"
Nami let out a frustrated yell, releasing Luffy and letting him shoot backwards, tumbling head over heels until he fell over the edge of the table. She buried her face in her hands, barely able to contain her irritation and trying to keep her mouth shut. "How do you forget?" she growled out between clenched teeth, leaning on the coffee table and dropping her head into her hands. "It's your only job. You said you were the best!"
"I am the best!" Luffy said, head popping up on the other side of the table. "I show up where there's a monster, and my chosen agree to become magical to save people, and then we fight the monster and win and I get to eat and it's good!" he clambered back onto the table again, slinking until he could squirm into the darkness created by Nami's downcast pose. "But you told me to get stuffed and fought the monster without me, and then you ran away and Zoro's magical girl fought it instead! It's not my fault!"
"It is your fault," Nami said, scowling, and Luffy wilted, his expression screwing up into a pouty frown.
"Is not," he mumbled, and Nami dropped her face onto his small body, rubbing her cheek into his fur and making him yowl. "Leave me alone!" he said, patting soft paws against the underside of her jaw, and she laughed.
"Aww, is the lil monster upset that I can do what I want?"
He yowled another protest, squirming from her grip, and flopped onto the floor. "Nammmmi," he whined pathetically, "you suck!"
She shrugged, barely able to hide her grin, and Luffy huffed, looking put-out and huddling under her table. Still biting back a smile she kneeled down, fingers gently coaxing him out. "Come on Luffy, I'm sorry. Look, once we get your stomach back and make me a magical girl, I'll go out and we'll get you a feast, huh?"
He made a wheezing noise, tail lashing to the side, and nodded eagerly. Squirming out from under the table, he jumped to her lap, and then to her shoulders, padding across part of her back with tiny feet. "Okay, okay," he said, "meat is a definite-"
"Hold on there kitty-cat," she chided, grabbing him and plopping him onto the couch. "Magical powers first. Then food. Remember, you still - apparently - don't have a stomach at the moment."
He whined, kneading her couch with his feet, and then dropped his head to his paws. Soft mumbling filled the air, and Luffy's face scrunched up so hard that Nami was almost worried. Before she could interrupt him, however, his head snapped up and his eyes snapped open, glowing gold. His whiskers glittered with silver and orange sparks, and his voice, when he spoke, sounded much louder and deeper than his tiny body allowed. "The gift of the storms lies within your heart! Open your eyes to the power that will protect the world!"
"Well that's not cliche as fuck," Nami mumbled, before cautiously stretching her hand out. Though she denied it, a niggle of worry pulled at her insides; Luffy wasn't meant to- look so serious. So otherworldly.
Before her fingertips could touch his forehead, however, a streak of gold and silver shot out towards her. It shocked like static electricity, but didn't fade, growing and racing along her arm, before spreading to her whole body. The sensation was almost painful, literal sparks jumping from her skin as it flew through her.
She couldn't breathe, for a moment; her lungs seized, too tight to get air. Helplessly she screwed her eyes shut, heat racing along her throat and filling her blood.
Then, she gasped. Cold air raced into her lungs, prickling like pins and needles, or as though she'd gone running when the weather was freezing. Her eyes flew open unbidden, and she felt a soft weight settle on her forehead, her hair whisked up by a warm breeze. Looking down at her previously bare feet presented her with thigh-high boots, and she could feel a collared shirt - or perhaps a cape? - around her neck that hadn't been present before.
She glanced at Luffy, who grinned at her, wobbled, and then promptly lay down to sleep.
Deciding that he was probably fine (and to hyped up on whatever energy now filled her) she bolted for her bedroom and the full-length mirror on the back of her door. Slamming the door shut made the whole frame rattle, but she was too preoccupied with the girl staring back at her in the mirror.
It was her, but-
Different.
The boots gave her a subtle inch of height, and her curled hair fluttered behind her as though blown by a non-existent breeze, somehow not tangling. When she waved her hand, the air seemed to shimmer, and her breath caught as a gleaming blue staff suddenly came into existence, fitting perfectly into her grip.
"Awesome," she breathed, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. "This is awesome! I'm going to be so popular!"
Thankfully, when Nami returned to work the next week, her boss was no longer a monster. She didn't really feel like testing out her new powers on her boss of all people, and the lack of property damage didn't go unmissed in her quiet thanks, either.
It would've been a pain in the ass to get a new job, considering she'd been working for this particular cafe for over four years now and was due for a raise soon. Plus, on top of that, it was the only place in town that Tashigi came to get her coffee.
As a police officer she was often patrolling in the barely-human hours of the morning, and 24-7 Coffee Addicts was the best place open that late. On top of that, their clientele was mainly exhausted university students that bumbled in, ordered something with a deathly amount of caffeine, and then ambled out again, or found a corner to tuck themselves in to write essays they probably should have finished days ago. It meant that the place was usually quiet and Nami could time her breaks to spend fifteen minutes chatting with Tashigi before someone new came in.
The bell above the door chimed quietly, filling the small shop with the soft sound of ringing, and Nami looked up to see the star of her thoughts come in, obviously giving a reply of some sort to her partner, still parked in their patrol car.
"Something sweet for the sweetest thing I've seen all day?" Nami asked, leaning on her palm and smiling at Tashigi sleepily.
As though to reward her flirtations, Tashigi turned a beautiful, flustered pink, and scratched at her cheek. "Double shot espresso, actually," she said with a short, adorable laugh, and Nami sighed to hear the sound, sinking further into her palm. "I'm picking up coffee for Smoker."
Pulling herself up with a small grunt of effort, Nami made her way to their coffee machine, calling over her shoulder, "The elusive Captain Smoker, huh? Why can't he ever pick up his own coffee?"
"And deprive me of spending time with you? He'd never be so cruel." Tashigi shot back, and Nami felt butterflies erupt in her stomach, their wings tickling her insides and her heart. She couldn't turn away from the coffee machine, watching it splutter and trying to remind her lungs that butterflies didn't stop her needing to breathe.
Scrawling Smoker's name on a coffee cup, Nami poured his coffee, and - as she almost always did when Tashigi came around - stuck her phone number on a napkin, along with a small drawing of a tangerine. Tashigi already had her phone number, but every time Nami gave it over, Tashigi's lips twitched into a fond smile, and the sight was Nami's favourite.
She slid the coffee and the napkin over, her hands lingering for a moment, until Tashigi's fingers folded themselves over her own. Slipping them away let her skin catch against Tashigi's callouses; the softness of her fingertips in comparison to her palms.
But Tashigi didn't smile to see Nami's drawings on the napkin; her expression, instead, somehow seemed to knot. It was a confused, obviously conflicted mess, and Nami leaned forwards, her hand wrapping around Tashigi's wrist. "Hey," she said softly, and Tashigi's head snapped up. "Something wrong?"
"Oh, no!" Tashigi immediately said, grinning brightly, the expression obviously fake. "No, it's nothing."
Nami hummed disbelievingly, and Tashigi's grin faltered, a sheepish, regretful smile coming to her features. "I'm- sorry." She said, turning her hand to stroke her thumb across Nami's palm and refusing to look up from the counter. "I can't- really talk about it."
To distracted by the feeling of Tashigi's hand against her own, it took a moment for Nami to gather her thoughts. Then, she gently squeezed Tashigi's hand, saying as she did so, "It's fine, Tash. But I'm here if you need, okay?"
Tashigi smiled again, a sad, fond smile that made Nami's stomach knot and her heart ache, and she wished that in all the months she'd known Tashigi they'd talked outside of three am, in coffee shops where they were only separated by a table and two cups of coffee instead of a counter and an apron. "Thanks, Nami." Tashigi said, her glasses shifting as her nose crinkled with her grin. "I will. But, uh- Smoker's probably expecting his coffee, so I'd better go."
"Uh- yeah! Yeah!" Nami said, quickly letting go of Tashigi's hand and laughing awkwardly. Tashigi grabbed the coffee cup, and with a wave breezed out of the coffee shop, the tiny bell filling the now-empty store.
"Shoulda asked her out then," Usopp called quietly from where he sat shoved into one of the corner tables, and Nami whirled to glare at him, snapping as she did so,
"Yeah well you should've finished your art assignment last week. So shut up."
The first monster that Nami had to fight had shown up at 3pm on a Wednesday. It destroyed a good chunk of their local zoo, setting the crocodiles and several species of bird free; but none of that was as distressing to Nami as her first meeting with her future magical girl partner.
She'd barely gotten a, "Hey, I'm your new teammate!" out, before short-bob and glare-of-doom girl had sent her first glare-of-doom™ Nami's way, and snorted,
"So you're the girl who's left me high and dry to fight these assholes."
Nami bristled, nose crinkling at the tone she'd been accosted with, and shot back, "'Scuse you, but I didn't really feel like jumping into some weird-ass deal with a magical talking cat."
"People got injured because I didn't have enough help!"
"Oh, couldn't handle the heat?" Nami taunted, and then winced internally, wishing that one of the walls in the nearby vicinity were still intact so she could hit her head against it. That had been so fucking dumb, and now her new teammate - who was ridiculously good-looking! Ridiculously! - was sputtering angrily, looking about two seconds away from stabbing Nami with her very dangerous-looking sword.
This was a) a stupid-as-fuck thing to say to her new teammate, someone she'd be expected to trust to watch her back, b) a stupid-as-fuck thing to say to someone that she was probably going to try and flirt with later (because shit, Nami's vague daydreams about cute partners hadn't come anywhere close to glaring-glasses girl), and c)
Well, actually, Nami couldn't think of a c. She was starting to get distracted by how passionately and feverently her new teammate was yelling.
(She was also vaguely distracted by the fact that Luffy was gesturing wildly at something behind her but was more preoccupied with fixing the terrible impression she'd made on pretty teammate number 1.)
"Look, I get that I haven't been up to speed with everything. But, I mean, how hard can it be? You're doing it!"
Fuck, she thought, then thought again for good measure, fuckity fucking shit fuck.
That was not fixing it, she thought, with a feeling of pain in her chest that only came with intense regret and embarrassment.
"Kill me now," she mumbled, and glasses girl bared her teeth, brandishing her sword in an obvious threat.
"With pleasure." She said, and then rolled her eyes, gaze flicking behind Nami. "Well, let me finish off this pleasure first."
She leapt up, sword flashing bright blue with what was obviously magic, and plunged it into the chest of a creature that towered above Nami's head.
It burst apart into the animals from the zoo that'd escaped, who stumbled around before slowly lying down and falling asleep. Silver glitter rose from their bodies and swirled around to fly into Nami's partner's sword.
Nami couldn't help but gape, her mouth dry and her heart thumping at the easy show of grace and power. "Wow," she breathed, feeling her cheeks prickle as her future partner stood, cape fluttering behind her as she sheathed her sword.
"Thanks," Nami's partner replied, the hint of a cocky smile fluttering around her lips as she flicked a stray piece of hair from her eyes. "Now look, okay, I can forgive and forget with an apology-"
Her sword vanished in a swirl of silver and blue, and then suddenly her costume followed, revealing an outfit that Nami could probably draw with her eyes closed.
"Oh fuck," she mumbled, just as Tashigi extended her hand.
"And I get that this isn't ideal, but we're going to be fighting monsters together. Threatening to kill each other isn't going to go well. So, let's try this again. I'm Tashi-"
"I know," Nami blurted, then slammed her hands over her mouth. "I mean- uh, I don't- want to know. Protect each other's identities best if we don't know who the other is, right?" she laughed awkwardly, backing away and watching Tashigi's expression turned confused and then angry again.
"You've already seen me though!" she yelled after Nami's retreating form, then added, "Besides, are you going to be the only one of us who doesn't trust everyone?"
"Looks that way!" she shot back, shrugging uselessly, and then twirled her staff. Something akin to hurricane-strength wind suddenly blew under her feet, lifting her up, and she gave a yelp, praying that her jerky flight across town wouldn't end with a crash landing.
Then again, hospitalisation was a good enough reason to avoid Tashigi forever, right?
"She's infuriating!" Tashigi yelled, pacing through her apartment, and Vivi gave a soft hum, sinking further back into the couch to get out of her way. "Last week, with that slime monster, she blasted the thing everywhere! And then she just flew off, all proud of herself! Didn't even wait to see if it poof'ed, which, by the way it hadn't! So instead of fighting one monster I was fighting seventeen? I'm so sorry I had to call you out of class, but oh wait! It wouldn't have happened if she'd done her job!"
"She's awful," Vivi said agreeably with a nod, her head swiveling back and forth to keep Tashigi in her sights. "Are you sure that her attack wasn't just a minor mistake? Considering she hasn't been doing this very long-"
"No, she hasn't!" Tashigi yelled, and then began to rant again, her hands flying. Vivi heaved a heavy sigh, her fingertips gently scratching behind Chopper's delightfully soft ears.
Zoro, who sat on the arm of the couch, gave a heavy sigh and slung his tail over his nose. "Well she does have Luffy as her partner," he said, and Chopper gave a small laugh.
"He probably to forgot to even mention she had to say the magic words after the first time she transformed. She might've been running around in her magical form for weeks before he remembered."
Vivi stifled a giggle, hand pressed to her rapidly growing grin, and Zoro's eyes flicked to her, a smirk growing on his face.
"It's true, though," he said, shrugging, and Tashigi dropped right next to Vivi, asking as she did so,
"What's true?"
"That Lu's a bit useless when it comes to making sense," Zoro repeated, his tail tip flicking slightly restlessly. "He probably got lost trying to find her in the first place. Maybe ended up on a different continent and then had to get his chosen over here somehow-"
"Ah, you're probably getting Luffy mixed up with yourself there, Zoro," Chopper said quietly, and Vivi's grin grew wider. Even Tashigi finally cracked a smile, already used to how easily Zoro could get lost, even in her and Vivi's apartment. He hadn't even managed to find his correct chosen, instead tagging along with Vivi and Chopper until he'd found Tashigi at the police station one day.
They'd started living together after the whole 'magical girl' situation had come to life; when Tashigi's rent had gone up and Vivi had confessed to being lonely living by herself, in a strange country far away from all that she knew, it had seemed like a sensible solution. It also meant no awkward explanations to other roommates or neighbours, and Vivi's apartment had more than enough space for them to push aside the couches and spar occasionally.
"It isn't fair," Tashigi grumbled under her breath, curling her feet under her and sinking further into Vivi's side. Chopper gave a disgruntled meow, shifting on Vivi's lap until he was comfortable again, and Vivi smiled at them both ruefully. "How come we're supposed to trust each other with our lives, but she won't trust us with her identity?"
"Everyone's different, Tashigi," Vivi reminded her gently, her hands combing through Tashigi's hair. She understood Tashigi's frustration, but at the same time wondered if either of them would've been open with their identities if the situation with Zoro and Chopper hadn't occurred.
Tashigi hummed, but a more concise answer was interrupted by Zoro hissing and Chopper's fur bristling, his small form almost doubling in size.
"Duty calls," Tashigi mumbled, pulling herself from Vivi's lap with a sigh.
"Think of it this way," Vivi said, her hands running through Tashigi's hair as Tashigi pulled away. "You can yell tips and insults at our new girl until maybe she's as good a fighter as you?"
Tashigi huffed, her expression foul, but didn't start yelling again; and, honestly, that was all Vivi had wanted anyway. Flattery can get one anywhere, she mused to herself, before standing as well, lifting Chopper so he could lay on her shoulders. Straightening her spine, she tilted her chin imperiously and stretched, giving Tashigi a grin.
"Time to go save some lives."
AN: I had to fight so hard not to place four exclamation marks after the title because I read this one post that said "the more gay something is, the more exclamation marks it has" and I was like well I mean...
Anyway, please read and review! ;u;