Author's Note:
Before we begin I would like to say that this is my first ever WHO fanfiction story.
It's basically a spin on Series 7 Episode 13 'The Name of The Doctor'.
Anything from the BBC Doctor Who series you might recognise in this story, belongs to the BBC and Steven Moffat. This story is for entertainment purposes only, and copyright infringement is not intended. Without further ado, let's begin!
- Line Break -
Days will pass and
turn into years,
but I will always
remember you with
silent tears…
- Line Break -
You. Me. All of time and space.
That's what you and me are supposed to be.
But we're not.
Because I failed you more than I've failed anyone.
You Ponds are the ones I've ruined the most.
And now I am all alone.
My best friends, gone.
My River, my Melody.
You too. I failed to save you.
That's the biggest mistake I've ever made, and I need to fix it. Rectify my mistake.
The question is how?
How can I save you without ruining the timelines?
I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out.
I promise. And that's not a lie.
- Line Break -
He had taken a seat on the stairs of his TARDIS. He remembered that day, the day he made that promise.
He had to fix what had happened at the Library, somehow. For years, centuries even, he had been trying to figure out how to save his River.
He still didn't know how to do it.
And then Clara came walking into his TARDIS, and she immediately saw that something was wrong.
"Doctor? What is it? Are you alright?" He looked up at his companion, not quite knowing what to tell her.
Pretending to be happy. Yes, that would work. "Ha! Clara! I'm fine, more than fine, perfect really."
He stumbled his way to the TARDIS console. "What would you like to see today? Where shall we go?"
Clara sighed, "Actually, I came to talk to you. And don't think you can escape from talking to me.
I know you were brooding when I came in." He frowned, "Fine… what did you want to talk about?"
"Well, I got a call. Or rather, a letter. It was for some sort of meeting. I met someone, who claims to know you quite well. You never told me about her."
At his deepening frown, she continued, "Doctor, who is River Song? And what is Trenzalore?" His head shot up faster, as he started pacing around the TARDIS.
"What did you just say….?!" He eventually sat down on the stairs again.
She repeated, though this time a bit more carefully,"Professor River Song. Who is she?"
He had no idea how to explain such a special person like his wife to Clara.
"Professor River Song. The one woman I can't explain. She was too much of a miracle for that. An enigma. The woman whose past was my future. The woman I've failed more than I've ever failed anyone else. Her choice greeting was, 'Hello, Sweetie.' I could never predict when I'd see her again. I gave her a diary to keep track of our meetings. There were always things she knew that I didn't, she'd always tell me 'Spoilers'. It always annoyed me, but I knew it was for the best. I would do anything to see her again. If I could, I would rewrite the stars."
Clara found herself frowning as well. "From the way you speak about her, you seem to think she's dead." He stared up at her, "That's because she is. She's been dead for a very long time. I still haven't figured out how to save her without ruining the timelines…" He seemed to see something behind her but didn't say anything about it.
"But if she's dead, how come I've met her?" He sighed, "I saved her to the biggest data core in existence.
It was all I, well, my other self could do. Anyway, onto that other thing you asked. Did you really just say Trenzalore?"
Clara shook herself out of her reverie. She couldn't possibly tell him that she had a telepathic link with the curly-haired professor. It was already cruel enough that she was dead, and he could never see her again. "Yes…, what is it?"
He sighed, "Trenzalore. The place where no one should ever want to go. So, what's so important about Trenzalore?" Now it was her turn to sigh, "They said something about you having to go there…and that your secret was discovered?" That gained his attention.
"What were the exact words?"
She dug deep into her memory, and recited, "The Doctor has a secret, you know. He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered. The professor said something about the others having misunderstood the information, but she never got to tell us what it was. Whoever was listening in, has taken your friends."
He folded his hands and held them in front of his face. "It means, that they've discovered my grave. And apparently, it's on Trenzalore." Then he got up and started switching levers and pushing buttons. "Here we go then…"
She looked at him, rather confusedly. "Go? Where?" He rolled his eyes, as if the answer was supposed to be obvious.
"To Trenzalore of course."
"But… you just said it's a bad thing to go there." He sighed, "Well it is. I'll be crossing my own time stream. But I have to save my friends. They've been there for me during my darkest days. I owe it to them to save them. No matter how dangerous."
Suddenly the TARDIS shook, stopped and turned off. He opened the doors and looked down.
"Ah, the TARDIS doesn't want us to go down there…" She looked at him. "Okay, so how are we going to get down there? Are we going to jump?" He looked at her as if she'd just said something ridiculous.
"Of course not. The TARDIS turned everything off. Except, what is keeping us floating. The anti-gravs. So guess what I'm turning off."
He pulled a lever. "The anti-gravs. Here we go…" The TARDIS fell and crash-landed on Trenzalore.
As they carefully stepped outside, they found that it was dark and misty around them. "So… that is where I end up." He pointed to an expanded, enormous TARDIS on a hill.
Clara frowned as she walked past a few graves, she really didn't like this place.
"Doctor….?" He spun on his heel, "What is it? In case you didn't notice, we don't really have time to dawdle here."
This time it was she who rolled her eyes, "But look. That gravestone there. It's got the professor's name on it." He frowned as he looked at it. "Impossible. They couldn't possibly have buried my dead wife out here."
Unbeknownst to the Doctor, River gave Clara an idea. "But Doctor, what if it's a secret entrance? To the tomb, I mean?"
He seemed to think that a realistic explanation, yet he also looked at her as if he knew there was something she was hiding from him. He didn't elaborate on it, but instead just clapped his hands as he started walking toward the gravestone. "That's genius! Let's see if you're right."
As they made their way through the hallways, they encountered a few difficulties, but nothing too major. Until Clara started seeing flashes of her other lives fly past. "Doctor, I'm remembering things. Things I never should've remembered."
Before her, she saw a scene of the two of them jumping down a cliff, into the center of the TARDIS. "The Dalek Asylum, then again in the 19th century… you've seen me several times, haven't you? That's why you call me your 'impossible girl'. But how come I'm here then? I don't understand…"
He sighed, "I don't know. I'll tell you as soon as I figure it out."
Then, they walked around the corner and saw the others.
"Oh. Hello everybody. I'm late for my own funeral, it seems. What are you all standing about for? Oh, right. You want me to open it. Looks like we'll be waiting here for a long time. Because I'm not going to open it."
The Great Intelligence and the so-called Whispermen didn't seem pleased with that announcement. "You will speak your name and open your tomb, Doctor."
The Doctor smiled, "Oh, a threat. How predictable. What are you threatening me with, oh mister Great Intelligence?"
"If you don't speak your name, right now, I will kill all your friends."
The Doctor sighed, "Well, I'm not going to speak my name. Not for you. And if you think I'll let myself be threatened by you, then you don't know me."
"Kill them all!" The Whispermen started advancing on his friends, and while his friends did everything they could to fight off the Whispermen, it was all for naught. He started fearing that he'd have to speak his name after all. He had to keep them safe, after all. That's why he had come here in the first place.
And then, all of a sudden the doors in front of them opened. Someone had spoken his name. There could only be one person who opened that door. But it couldn't be… or could it? How else had those doors opened if he hadn't spoken his name?
Everyone filed in after one another, and he quickly followed them.
Clara seemed to be surprised when she saw the white threads at the center of the TARDIS. "So… this is it?"
He rolled his eyes. "Yes of course it is. What did you expect? A body? That would be way too simple. No, what you're seeing here is my time stream. Everything I will do, or have done." Clara nodded, "Okay…"
The Great Intelligence started walking towards the time stream.
"Stop! You can't go in there! It'll kill you." The Great Intelligence shook its head.
"I don't care. I will finally be at peace. I will turn all your victories into failures, and you will fall. The fall of the Eleventh. You will hurt, and you will suffer until the end of time. That's all I need to be at peace." And then he jumped in.
Immediately afterwards, the colour of the time stream started changing. From white to red, and the Doctor immediately grabbed to his hearts as he fell to the ground, howling out in pain. The pain was unbearable, and neither Clara nor River could bear watching him in pain.
River sat down next to him. She couldn't physically hold him, but nevertheless she stroked her hand over his head. "Breathe, darling. Breathe." She knew he couldn't possibly hear her. He couldn't even see her, after all. Still, she hoped with everything she had, that he would hear her. He probably wouldn't though.
Clara watched the professor with sympathy edged on her face.
What had the Doctor said again? That he had failed to save River and hadn't yet figured out how to? She wondered if they had ever had a proper goodbye.
From what she could tell, the Doctor 'didn't like endings' as River had put it.
How long had the professor been 'uploaded' to that data core thingy of which she hadn't the faintest idea what it was before she'd been summoned here?
Clara felt the need to help. She couldn't just sit by and watch her friend in pain.
Nor did she want to see the professor so hurt. She really wanted to slap her friend in the face for not saying goodbye to his wife for proper closure.
On the other hand, she could understand why he couldn't get himself to. Why he wouldn't want to. Besides,
he had said he was trying to figure out how to save River. But if after such a long time he still hadn't figured it out, she doubted he ever would. Not that she thought the Doctor couldn't figure it out, but a story needed closure at some point, right?
She shook herself out of her reverie, and found the professor looking at her. A curious look on her face. "I know what you're thinking, Clara. Don't forget that we share a telepathic connection. And I know what you're thinking of doing. But you can't. It would kill you, and it would kill him too. You would create thousands of copies of yourself, while the real you would die saving him. He couldn't bear that. You know what happened the last time he lost a friend."
Meanwhile, the Doctor was still howling out in pain. He couldn't bear getting hurt like this. But it was better than the alternative. He did regret not saying goodbye to River though. He knew he should've. He had been trying to keep himself from doing it in the hope that he could figure out how to reverse what happened, but now he would never be able to figure out a way to save River, and he wouldn't be able to say goodbye either.
He could barely hear anything over his own repeated howls of pain.
He had trouble keeping his eyes open. He wanted to close his eyes so badly, but that would mean giving into the pain. Letting the Great Intelligence win. And that was something he wasn't about to do. Giving up. Somewhere in the distance he could hear several voices. Jenny, Vastra and Strax, and he could hear Clara talking to someone.
It then occurred to him that River was somewhere here too. Or at least, a form of her was. She'd been long dead, of course. But somehow she was here. Due to the pain, he couldn't see her though.
Clara couldn't bear to watch it any longer, she had to do something. Now.
She shared another look with the professor, tears stinging in the back of her eyes as she said, "I know. But I would do anything to help him. And I can't watch him be in pain like this any longer. He's helped so many people, including me. I have to save him. I can't let it end like this. He deserves better. And even if it doesn't work like I intend it to, you at least still get to have a proper goodbye. Which is what you both deserve. And if he refuses, punch him for me?"
River couldn't help but laugh through her tears. "Will do. Good luck, Clara. And, thank you. From both of us. I know that he's going to hate me for letting you do this, especially because it's something you have to do with great care. There's a lot that could go wrong, but I have faith that you can do it. You make a great friend, Clara. You're exactly what he needed after the loss of my parents."
Clara nodded in acknowledgment. "Thank you, Professor Song. I can definitely see how you two make a perfect match now. I'm going to do my very best for you. And if he gets angry, you tell him that this was my choice. And that the decisions I make in life are my own to make. Not his."
"I'll tell him. But I can't promise you he'll listen. He's kind of stubborn like that."
Clara laughed through her tears, "I know.." And then, she jumped into the time stream.
He suddenly felt all of his pain dissipate and wasted no time sitting up.
He looked around the room and saw that his time stream was now clear again. Somewhat confused, he tried to find Clara, but she wasn't anywhere to be seen.
What he could see though, was that Jenny, Vastra, and Strax all looked rather shocked. Strax being shocked was rather strange in itself.
It wasn't until he looked a little better that he saw River. So she was here after all.
But if this was a manifestation of her soul, then how come the others looked so shocked? "Hello everyone, can someone please tell me what is going on and where Clara went?" They all looked at him, and then looked at each other as if they were wondering who should be the one breaking the news.
"Hello? Is anyone going to tell me what's going on, or do I have to figure it out for myself?" He almost didn't see it coming but caught her hand in time anyway.
She seemed to be stunned by that move. "How? How did you do that? I'm not even really here."
He didn't know where to start, "River, don't you know by now that you're always here to me? And that I can always see you?" She sighed, "I don't know. It's been centuries, and you never once came to say goodbye. What is a woman supposed to think? Why didn't you come and see me? I know you hate endings, but so many centuries seems a bit outrageous even for you."
He sighed, "I thought it would hurt too much." She seemed to be hurt by that, as the tears once again sprung to her eyes.
"I believe I could've coped. Don't you think I deserved that, a proper goodbye? You left me like a book on a shelf. Like I didn't mean anything to you at all."
"Well, honestly, I just don't know how to. Tell me, how do I say it?"
She thought about it for a moment, before she decided what it was that she deemed a proper goodbye. The only way she'd ever accept. "If you ever loved me, if you ever cared about me at all, then say it like you're going to come back."
"Well then," he took a step back, "see you around, Professor River Song."
She smiled, "Till the next time, Doctor."
He smiled faintly, "Don't wait up. But before you go, River, I can see that you know what happened to Clara. So tell me. Where is she?"
Her smile faltered. She knew he was definitely not going to like the answer.
"Who do you think made sure your timeline got fixed?" If looks could kill, she would've been deader than dead right now.
"What did you say? Did she jump into my time stream? Why would she do that?!"
She sighed. "To save you, you fool. She couldn't keep standing by and watch you be in pain. She couldn't bear it. I tried to talk her out of it, told her of the consequences. But she didn't listen." He started pacing. "So now what? You expect me to sit back and do nothing? You expect me to let her go? The same way you're already forcing me to let you go?!"
She rolled her eyes, "She sacrificed herself for you, you dimwit! Stop being such an idiot and look at me!" She was getting on his nerves now, "What do you mean look at you?! I am looking at you!" She stepped up to him, this time. "Listen, you fool. The only reason I'm here, is because she and I were telepathically linked. So if she's dead, either I should've faded by now, or there's something else going on…"
"Something else?! How could…" He struggled to come up with the right words, "Unless…. no…. please River. Tell me you didn't let her do that?" She arched a brow, "Let her do what, Doctor? You're not making any sense. What are you asking?" Of course she knew what he was referring to, but she had no idea if Clara had succeeded.
He didn't answer and instead walked over to Vastra, Jenny and Strax.
"Tell me. Do you see her?" The three of them looked rather confused, "See who, Doctor?" He sighed, so they didn't see her. That was good. Right?
He suddenly felt very confused as new memories started pouring in.
Clara had suddenly popped up all over his timeline, constantly running to save him. Everything was as it should. And, he remembered the same chain of events from the Library. That could mean that either Clara worked so subtly to save River that she managed to keep the timelines intact, but then she'd died, or she'd have failed and could still be alive somewhere in his time stream. Or what if she was working on it now and River would soon actually be real again? His dream come true?
He didn't know what to think. He didn't like people sacrificing themselves for him. Especially when they were his best friends.
But what if River was right? What if it was Clara that wanted to do it? That's what River had said, hadn't she?
But then why did she insist that he say a proper goodbye? Was she messing with him?
Or maybe she was making sure that even if Clara failed, she'd still get a proper goodbye out of him? He really had no idea anymore.
And so he paced around the room, deep in thought. He didn't notice Jenny and Vastra walking up to him. "Doctor? Talk to us. What is going on?" He suddenly spun around, startling the two women. "That's exactly what I'm trying to figure out."
"Doctor, where did Professor Song come from? She wasn't here previously."
He suddenly stopped. "What did you say?" Jenny repeated, "I asked where Professor Song came from, Doctor. She wasn't here previously, correct?"
A faint smile appeared on his face, replacing his grim expression.
"Actually, she was here all this time. You just couldn't see her because she wasn't really here. She linked herself to Clara, keeping part of your 'conference call' open. The reason you can see her now, is because Clara just did what I never could. Something I've been trying to figure out for quite a bit of time. She jumped into my time stream, and she rewrote time. So subtly that I don't even know that she did it. The fact that you're seeing River now, means that Clara has succeeded. But it also means that she's gone…"
His expression turned grim once again. Bordering on a mix of anger and sadness. All of a sudden, Clara appeared next to a now very real River Song.
He frowned, "Clara? Is that you?" She smiled, "Yes. As you can see, I have succeeded. I'm very glad that I did. You're alright now. And everything is as it should be. Come here, old friend, and hug me."
He hastened to embrace her. Oh, his impossible girl had done the impossible.
The one thing he never could. When she finally untangled herself from his arms, she quickly punched him in the face. "And that's for being such a jerk. I could hear everything, you know. And just two more things before I go, take her to Darillium, yeah? She's always wanted to go there, and now you can. Without having to fear losing her. That way your timeline should be completely fixed. And your timelines should run linear to each other again. Don't you dare let her go, Doctor. She needs you, and I know you need her too. Be happy, as you should be. That's all I ask of you. Don't blame her for my decision. It was mine to make. I'm the impossible girl, after all. She couldn't have stopped me. Nor could you have if you'd tried. You two go and save the universe, yeah?"
He nodded solemnly. And while he was sad that Clara would no longer be there, she had given him everything he'd ever wanted. He smiled, "Goodbye, Clara. And… thank you." She smiled, "It was an honour. Thank you for showing me the universe, and my place in it. I have to go now. Goodbye, my friend."
And then, Clara faded away.
His impossible girl was no more. But he did have his wife.
And he couldn't be more grateful for that. The first thing he did when he looked up, was straighten his bowtie. "So, River. Someone just told me how bad you wanted to see Darillium, and how I should man up and finally take you there. They even told me that it was the way to fix our timeline. So, what do you say? Ready to go see the Singing Towers of Darillium? Again?"
She smiled at him, "Of course, my love. You're right. We have already gone there, at least from my point of view. But not for you just yet. And I really don't mind going there again. It was so beautiful. But first, this." She placed her hands on both sides of his face, and kissed him like she hadn't done in years.
When she eventually released him, she smiled. "Okay, now we can go. But first, we need to get those three home, don't you agree, dear?" He nodded, "Yes, I think that would be best. Jenny, Vastra, Strax, are you coming? We'll drop you off at home."
Everyone entered the TARDIS, and after they had taken Jenny, Vastra, and Strax back home to the 19th century, the Doctor and River were alone. "Next stop, Darillium!" He quickly typed in the coordinates and pulled the lever.
When they were later sat at a most beautiful spot watching the towers, he turned to her.
"River…, now that our timelines no longer go in opposite directions, would you please come and stay with me on the TARDIS? Permanently, I mean…"
She pretended to have to think about it, even though she already knew her answer.
She just liked making him sweat, and so she watched his face crumple.
"Of course…," he stated solemnly, "I shouldn't have asked. How stupid of me."
She laughed, "Oh you dimwit. Of course, I would love to stay with you. I promise."
His face brightened, and his usual cocky attitude appeared. "Well then, Professor Song. Looks like we've both finally made a lasting commitment. How would you say we should seal this promise?"
She laughed, "I might have an idea." He rolled his eyes, "Of course you would…"
Before he could say any more though, she kissed him.
"Is that enough of a promise for you, love?" He chuckled, "More than enough, Doctor Song."
- Line Break -
You're a sky full of stars
I'm gonna give you my heart
You're a sky full of stars
Because you light up the path…
- Line Break -
Author's Notes:
Well, that was it for this story.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed reading it.
If you would leave a review I would be eternally grateful.
Let me know if you would want a sequel series to this one-shot.
If there are enough people interested in it, I would gladly make one.