Sexual Innuendo: Jerm's Waifu
9 Days before Christmas I was curious.
"Could it be true?" I thought. "Is my Waifu actually on the boat?"
There was only one way to find out...
It was the dawn of December 16th. I was up early on my computer trying to unravel ways to find the boat.
"The boat could be anywhere!" I thought to myself. Then I had an epiphany.. "Maybe it's still in the water."
I put on my winter coat and rushed out the door...
Surely enough the boat was still in the ocean. It hadn't float to the shore yet.
"The boat must have an anchor then?" and I looked out at it with my binoculars. There was no anchor to be seen.
"I must swim out and investigate!" Soon later a completely bare young male body ran out into the sea.
As I swam closer to the boat, it appeared as though the boat got closer. Because obviously I was swimming closer to it.
Finally I was on the boat. But up close it looked more like a yacht. It was the most luxurious sailboat I ever laid my eyes on.
And as my eyes preyed upon the beautiful ship, I spotted a man.
The bizarre fellow was lying on the floor of the boat with a bottle of rum in his hand.
He wore a scarf tied around his head and a tricorn hat. His hair was in dreadlocks.
And there appeared to be strange tribal looking make-up on his face.
Coincidentally he was naked. And he was singing a verse of a song repeatedly..
"yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me!" sang the Pirate.
"WHAT? THIS ISN'T RIGHT! YOU CANNOT BE MY WAIFU!" I screamed out of terror of this strange situation. I covered my mouth.
"Ye mate, I sure ain't." said the Pirate. He chuckled. "You know who I am Jeremy?"
I was horrified "How d'you k-know my n-n-am-e?" I stuttered.
"My name is Captain-" said the Pirate. "Captain Phillips?" I interrupted.
"No! You idiot, I'm the finest captain of the 7 seas. Jack Sparrow!"