Disclaimer: We don't own Legacy of Kain or the characters.
Author's note: Yes, I hated BO2, that's why I'm parodying this. If you liked it and think this will offend you, stop reading. If you hated BO2 and/or can take a joke, please continue. And for future reference, if you liked BO2, choose to read, and flame me, I will only laugh at your idiocy.
Legacy of Bob: Goth Omen 2
For future reference, these are whom the characters are parodying.
Bob- Kain
Joe- Vorador
Tami- Umah
Roger- Sarafan Lord
Butch- Janos Audron
Tom- Faustus
Dick- Marcus
Harry- Sebastian
Bubba- Magnus
Prologue
Scene: The HQ of Bob's vampire army.
Bob: Ahh, what a day.
Tom: Sir, why don't you have a drink or two and calm down.
Bob: Thank you, Tom. What shall I have? *Looks through the cooler* Ahh, here we go. *Pulls out a bottle* Ahh, Blood Lite.
Bob, Tom, Dick, and Harry sit down as Bob enjoys a few Blood Lites.
Bob: You know what'sth wrong with thisth world? *hic* I don't own it! *He gets up and stumbles.* We gotta change that! *Bob picks up the Soul Reaver and stumbles to the next room where Joe is looking at a map.* Ok, Joe, nexth sthtop isth Meridian! We're gonna kick assth and take namesth!
Joe: Bob, you're drunk.
Bob: Stho?
Joe: Do you think now would be a good time to strike?
Bob: Heeeeeeell yeah!
Joe: Don't you think you want to hold the Soul Reaver with your right hand and not your left?
Bob: I do have it in my right hand. *He waves his left hand, which is holding the Reaver*
Joe: *Sigh* Whatever. You're the boss.
Bob: Damn right I am.
So, Bob and his forces head for Meridian, when a man named Roger stops them.
Roger: Oh man, I gotta pee...*He looks to see if anyone's watching. When he discovers that he's the only one on the roof top, he unzips his pants and lets it flow.* Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
*Bob approaches with his armies in the meantime.*
Bob: One...two...three GOOO! *He gives
the order to charge*
Roger: Huh? Oh crap, I'm not finished.
*Bob stumbles forward until he feels something damp*
Bob: What...oh gross, someone's taking a leak on me! *Roger hops down and strikes Bob down* AAAAAAAAAAH!
Roger: Oh, that guy dropped his sword. Mine now! Finders keepers, losers weepers! Nyah!
Now, what happened to Bob? Stay tuned to find out.