Full Summary: Sousuke spends eighteen thousand years locked up and it changes his perspective on several things. He's stuck in the lowest level of Muken without any interaction long enough that he's gone past insane. He doesn't talk to himself, doesn't mutter replies to hallucinations, just sits there, his eyes closed. All he does is think. He thinks for so long that at one point, he's not sure what it was like to not think. To not have only his own thoughts be his constant company.
why so much aizen and time travel, you ask
fuck u thats why, i reply
basically i wanted to write from aizen's pov but im not good at characterization so instead lets go with a traumatized!aizen, who would be all over th fucking place
change; before
Sousuke spends eighteen thousand years locked up and it changes his perspective on several things. He's stuck in the lowest level of Muken without any interaction long enough that he's gone past insane. He doesn't talk to himself, doesn't mutter replies to hallucinations, just sits there, his eyes closed. All he does is think. He thinks for so long that at one point, he's not sure what it was like to not think. To not have only his own thoughts be his constant company. Soul Society moves on, forgets him, and he's withering away when he finally cracks his eye open to take in the figure before him.
They have incredibly bright hair, and for a second, Sousuke sees Kurosaki Ichigo in front of him, hair that ridiculous orange. But soon the image fades, the orange turns more auburn, and the figure slims down to a frowning woman. Sousuke hasn't had a visitor in over twelve thousand years, so he can't deny the burning curiosity he feels at her appearance.
"It's curious," the woman says, her voice a soft lilt. The volume of the voice doesn't stop it from ringing in Sousuke's ears. He grunts, grimacing at the breach of silence. His ears are unadjusted to noises that aren't the brief crinkle of clothing when he adjusts his sitting position. "That you are the one that lives forever. Tell me, Aizen Sousuke, would you die if you were given the chance?"
Souske closes his eyes then, trying to control his breathing. Thousands of years ago he would've scoffed at the question. Of course he wouldn't want to die. He became immortal for a reason; he was a god amongst men! Now though, now that he's finally within sight of the end of his sentence, all he feels is tired. He holds no more dreams, looks forward to no new goals. Maybe at one point he saw a light at the end of the tunnel, calculating glee that he would be the only one to remember how dangerous he was, but that Sousuke was a fool. That Sousuke had not only had himself for company for over ten thousand years.
"I would die here if you were that merciful," Sousuke confesses, his throat immediately raw. He hacks out a cough, his violent wretches wracking havoc on his vocal cords. He hasn't spoken out loud, even to himself, in so long that it now hurts to utter even a single word. He lets his eyes crack open though, desperate to see the woman's face at his response.
The woman's frown turns into a tranquil smile, her eyes a warm gold. That gold is like liquid fire, Sousuke can't help but notice. There is only white and black in his prison, no saturated color to break the trying monotony. This woman, with her auburn locks and golden eyes, is like a rainbow to his deprived sight.
"Then, Aizen Sousuke, let's see if you will once more seek to live," is the reply he receives.
Sousuke doesn't understand her answer, just stares warily as she approaches his chair. He wonders, suddenly, if his time is up. If his sentence in served and that this unknown woman is here to release him from his binds. His heartbeat picks up and he starts to panic, his senses going haywire as he tries to lash out with his reiatsu. It's been so long, he's not ready to be released, not ready to have to face making decisions, calculating other people into his routine again. He's choking on air when her fingertips graze his forehead.
He holds his breath, panicked gaze meeting her calm one. Reiatsu swirls slowly around them, his binds flickering and then floating away into dust. She gives him a gentle smile, a quirk of the lips tinged with hope, before he's whisked away with a flash of white.
He wakes up because there is sun burning across his closed eyelids. He doesn't register it at first, doesn't understand what the warmth and sharp lighting mean, but when he gets his mind to focus, he gasps, sitting up abruptly and opening his eyes to a burning light. He has to force them closed immediately after, spots floating in his vision and a ringing in his head. His entire body feels weightless and sensitive to the touch. He spent so long under restrictive reiatsu bindings that now that its free from him, he feels like he weighs a hundred pounds lighter. He can feel it swirling around him chaotically, sharp and course against his skin as it spins. He has to focus on his breathing though, trying to get it regulated and away from the panic it is inching towards.
'Sousuke,' a whisper permeates the pain and suddenly he is no longer laying down, but standing up with his eyes wide open. The landscapes around him his disorienting, the sky above him blue with small clouds, the exact image of the ground below him. There's a glimmer, a small sheen in front of him, and then there stands Kyouka Suigetsu. Sousuke's breath catches in his throat as he stares at his zanpakuto spirit, so long gone from his memory until this moment. Their hair is long and black, just like the first time he met them. Suigetsu changed masks every time Sousuke saw them, changed genders and identities at their fickle flights of fancy, so to see them as they were the first time Sousuke met them is a statement that he can't quite decipher.
'Sousuke,' Suigetsu says once more, their masked face doing nothing to muffle the pain behind the voice. It causes a stab to go through Sousuke's chest as he realizes that this is the first time he's heard his zanpakuto since he shoved the hogyoku into his chest. This will be the first time in thousands of years that his zanpakuto spirit has gotten him to hear their desperate pleas.
"Kyouka Suigetsu," Aizen replies, voice strained as his knees tremble. He feels so weak, so helpless as he faces his zanpakuto spirit, but he can do nothing to change this. He is no longer what he once was. He is so far past humbled that he will accept any punishment his spirit feels he deserves.
Instead of attacking him or turning their back on him, Suigetsu open their arms, their long-sleeved white kimono bared to Sousuke's longing gaze. 'Sousuke,' they say again, their tone now imploring.
Sousuke sobs and pushes forward, collapsing into their waiting arms. The mirror world around them trembles, the sound of breaking glass fracturing around them. Sousuke doesn't open his eyes, doesn't wish to see how low he's fallen, and instead stays within the steadying embrace. He keeps his eyes closed.
"I don't know what to do," Sousuke confesses, sitting on the edge of a random house's roof as he stares at the Seireitei in front of him.
When he had finally detached himself from Suigetsu's welcoming arms, he had done his best to collect his composure, ignoring the cracks that now lay beneath their feet. He had stayed bundled up in his inner world for an indeterminate amount of time before he knew he had to face whatever his fate was. When he had emerged into the real world he had been confused to find himself laying on the ground. When he took a cursory look around, he found himself to be in the Rukongai. He couldn't quite pinpoint which district, though from the lack of crime being peddled on the streets, he had to be somewhere before the 50th district. How he found himself there, he couldn't guess, but with a wary eye set on the direction of the Seireitei, he set off on foot.
He had been close to the gate, wondering through the 2nd district, when he had spotted something impossible. A fox-faced Gin had been talking smoothly to a grinning Matsumoto, their attention focused solely on each other. Sousuke's brain had actually short-circuited for a brief moment before he regained enough composure to tightly reign in what little reiatsu he had been letting leak out.
The image before him had made no sense, the incredulous idea that these two had somehow lived long enough to see him released from Muken, when Suigetsu's whispered observation reached his ears: 'Sousuke, feel.'
So Sousuke had stretched out a thin strand of his reiatsu, enough to get the general feel of the area around him, but hopefully not enough to draw the couple's attention. Sliding his reiatsu against his own was a startling feeling and it made him vaguely nauseous to feel his power so cold. It was weaker than he was now, but it was far more colder and harder as well as heavier than what Sousuke was used to.
"How—?" he had questioned, his mind working furiously to try and find the solution to his predicament. It was when he felt a brief flicker across his senses that his veins turned to ice and he knew.
He hadn't felt the reiatsu of his half-completed hogyoku for years before his imprisonment. To feel it once more, that flickering abomination, had sent a shiver of disgust up Sousuke's spine. It had solidified the unbelievable truth of what exactly he was facing: he was in the long-forgotten past, before his defection and the subsequent war that had followed.
He now sits staring into the distance, thousands of decisions flashing before his mind. There is so many possibilities laid out before him and when once he would've been able to parse out the one that benefitted him the most, he is now out of his element, struggling with so many decisions when he has not had to make one in so very long.
'Then don't make one,' Suigetsu responds, their voice slightly stronger. They have slowly been regaining their strength during the week long treck towards their previously thought horrible fate. Suigetsu had helped him adjust to the lighting and sound that now surrounded him, so their progress was going slower than it usually would've of.
"Don't make one," Sousuke scoffed, scowl curling across his face, "I'm in the past! I have to, to do—," he stops there, frustration causing him to huff out a long breath. What exactly does he have to do? There is a past version of him here, one who is blinded by his own superiority and the millions of wishes fighting for his attention. All his plans for his hogyoku, all the carefully laid plans, are insignificant to Sousuke now. He barely remembers the intricate web he once weaved around the Seireitei. The Gotei 13 exist in memory, but no longer does Sousuke seek to control and leash them like the god he used to think he was. Now, well, now all Sousuke wants to do is sleep for a few hundred years and then try to figure out what the hell he's supposed to do as a being over eighteen millennia old.
"Don't make one," he utters again, this time his voice dips towards a controlled wonder. No one knows he exists now. He is not under a watch or a lock and key. If he wants to leave, he can. He can go off somewhere and live how he wishes to live. No more prison. No more being alone.
"Right," he nods to himself, standing. He gazes at his past for a moment longer, trying to scrape up some form of nostalgia. When nothing of the sort comes, he scoffs and turns his back, heading back the way he came. He needs to open a Senkaimon and he'd rather do that as far away from the Seireitei as he could get.
He chooses the human world purely because he can be no one there. He is handsome, so some attention may be paid to him, but he can negate this simply by keeping his shikai ability running. Everyone around him will see a plain looking man. His age somewhere in between 30 to 40 years. An average Japanese man who won't gain a second glance.
He's in a library, reading up on the technological advancements of the human world he had ignored the last go around, when a spike of reiatsu catches his attention. He thinks he's wrong, at first, that he's letting some obscure sense of longing cloud his judgement, but no, he's not imagining anything. The burning inferno that is Kurosaki Ichigo passes by the library, spiking in light agitation every few seconds.
It burns against his senses, that reiatsu. It's not as strong as what he remembers, that feeling when he truly comprehended that Kurosaki was so strong that he couldn't even sense his gathered reiatsu, but it still sends an anticipatory shiver throughout his body. Of all things to suddenly crave with all his heart, seeing Kurosaki Ichigo for the first time in thousands of years was not one he thought he would ever have. Now though, that he can sense him, he can feel it clawing its way up his throat. That physical need to see the boy in the flesh causes him to stand abruptly from his seat, the legs of his chair scraping against the hardwood floor. He marches out, his determination blinding him to everything around him. He's only focused on the white burn in his senses.
He exits the library and only needs to turn the corner to see him. The boy is scowling at someone, another boy who looks his age to Sousuke's uncertain eyes, but he doesn't really care. That orange hair, like fire in the sun, and those passionate brown eyes are almost exactly like Sousuke remembers them. He doesn't quite know why he's latched onto Kurosaki Ichigo's image like he has, but he finds that he doesn't want to let it go. He watches the boy continue on his way, his companion flailing after him, and he feels Suigetsu stir awake in his mind.
'Then don't let him go,' Suigetsu says, temptation swirling in his mind.
"Don't let him go," Sousuke replies, standing stock still as his mind whirls.
It doesn't take much to squirrel his way into Urahara's shoten and steal a gigai. He knows how to shape it to his appearance, to give the artificial body his looks, so it's really no problem to take it and leave. Urahara has shields around his home, sure, but they are to protect him from the Aizen that lives now, not the altered Sousuke who isn't quite a human spirit anymore. He leaves with no one in the shoten any the wiser he had infiltrated their home.
He takes a moment to decide where he's going to insert himself into Kurosaki's life before he picks the school. Urahara and his ilk don't go there and Isshin, from what Sousuke remembers, ignored his son's activities for the first sixteen years of his life. There was a very small chance that they would stumble by to sense the little reiatsu Sousuke didn't have a tight handle on.
Convincing the administration that he had a teaching license was easy, Kyouka Suigetsu working their magic on the human's senses. They all see him as an unremarkable man with dark hair and eyes, so the chance they could ever point him out is also low. He decides on teaching gym simply for the fact that he doesn't need to know any specific human topic to half-ass any lessons. He knows how to train the body to fight, so taking that down a few notches to something resembling a simple exercise routine shouldn't be that hard.
He debates for several days after gaining the job on what he's going to do about his looks. The administration sees his illusions, that's true, but if he uses his shikai on Kurosaki, then he would fall for Aizen's tricks before and during the war. Suigetsu offers no more advice, so with some conflicted feelings, he places himself in the same area as Kurosaki and ambles along towards him, his sword illusioned to look like a cane. The reference to Urahara both delights and disgusts him, but he still feels his heart beat faster when he shoulders past Kurosaki, making sure to make it look like a mistake.
Kurosaki grunts, his shoulder flying back at the contact. Sousuke drops his 'cane' in front of the boy, eyes greedy as the boy shakes off his confusion and reaches down to pick up the cane. He startles back when the 'cane's' illusion fades after his fingertips brush along cold steel. It was odd, watching someone else break the effects of his shikai. Sousuke is quick to gather his bare sword up, sheathing it. He nods briefly at Kurosaki's startled and confused gaze before rushing away from him. Not subtle in the slightest, but it got the job done. Letting Kurosaki touch his blade meant that Kyouka Suigetsu will no longer work on him, even if their shikai is released before his very eyes. A move that Sousuke hopes will gain him some level of trust when his identity inevitably becomes revealed.
Human gym class is a lot like first year academy training. A lot of exercise, meant to improve health and stamina, as well as a lot of eager competition as the humans battle it out in several different sports. Sousuke's attention isn't held long, his eyes always looking off into a single direction, his reiatsu creeping out of his tight grip and darting forward, searching.
He spends the school day waiting for Kurosaki to appear, but he never does. Sousuke has seen him around the school, but it seems as if the teen barely attended gym class. It was frustrating, being close enough to him, yet still having him out of Sousuke's sphere of influence. He's on his way back to the empty apartment he's squatting in when he finally feels Kurosaki's reiatsu flare. Sousuke turns and runs towards it, all composure lost. He isn't quite sure what he might stumble upon.
When he gets there, eyes gleaming, he's surprised to see Kurosaki fighting a group of thugs and losing. Losing and Kurosaki didn't really go together in Sousuke's mind. Sure, the kid had to have lost at some point to want to get stronger. It wasn't like Sousuke himself hadn't thrown him around a bit during the war he had started. Still, there was something profoundly wrong seeing Ichigo curled up on his side, grunting with each kick that met his torso.
With a scowl and clenched hands, Sousuke swiftly intervened, taking down the thugs in three quick strikes. At the face of an older opponent, they suddenly scattered, running like the cowards they are. It pisses Sousuke off, that these lesser humans would treat Kurosaki the way they did.
"T-Thanks," Kurosaki coughs behind him. Sousuke glances over his shoulder, watching as the frowning teen winces and tries to sit up.
"Three on one isn't exactly an ideal situation," Sousuke observes, taking in every detail he can. There's swelling already happening on Kurosaki's cheek, and the very beginning of a black eye is starting to form as his right eyes puffs out slightly.
"Yeah, well, I couldn't just let them mess with-," Kurosaki groans, wobbling his way into standing upright. He stretches back, trying to unlock cramping muscles, before he continues, "—that little girl's grave."
Sousuke hadn't been paying attention to anything but Kurosaki, but now that the teen has pointed it out, Sousuke can feel awed eyes staring at him. He turns to the source and is met with a little ghost girl, her big eyes staring at him in appreciation. She is standing in front of a knocked over plastic vase, some type of wild flower laying strewn across the pavement.
"You saved us both, Stranger-san," the little girls says, bowing to him.
Sousuke shifts, eyeing the girl carefully. He hasn't had to put on this mask in a long time, the congenial, laid back taichou, but it still shifts over his face, the false smile laced with lies. "I'm sorry they were harassing your grave. Hopefully they will leave you alone now."
The girl gives him a gap-toothed grin before disappearing. She'll need to be sent to Soul Society soon, her chain looking rather small, but for now he lets her go do whatever she had been doing before Kurosaki and he had intervened.
"You can see her."
Sousuke blinks, turning back to look curiously at Kurosaki's narrowed and assessing gaze. Ah.
"Yes," Sousuke admits, keeping his posture relaxed and his false smile glued to his face.
Kurosaki's eyes narrow even farther as he squinted at him, his shoulder stiffening to complete th picture of someone who is suspicious. It's the exact opposite effect Sousuke was hoping for and it just builds his curiosity towards the teen to even higher heights. The Gotei 13 had eaten from his hands for hundreds of years, all blind lies. Yet here Kurosaki Ichigo is, suspicious immediately upon being face to face with his false mask.
"Right, well," Kurosaki hesitates here, like he doesn't quite know what to say. This must be new for him, realizing that there are other people out there who can see ghosts. Sousuke briefly wonders if Kuchiki Rukia was the first acquaintance he had that could also see what he did.
"Think nothing of it," Sousuke says, his voice soothing. He wants close to Kurosaki, for some unfathomable reason, but he's given so much away during their very brief encounter. He'd probably be more frustrated if he had gone this route originally. Now, when he's a changed and disillusioned man with a past god complex, he just feels like pursing his lips at the vaguely sour taste it leaves in his mouth. Sousuke giving away the fact that he's more than he seems is something that he knew was some type of inevitability.
Sousuke turns away from the teen, though it pains him to do so. Kurosaki doesn't try to stop him or ask his name. Sousuke can feel the burning gaze on his neck, but Kurosaki is not forthcoming with any questions. As far as first meetings go, Sousuke knows that this could have gone much worse.
Sousuke had some reservations when Kuchiki Rukia showed up a few days later, shadowing Kurosaki by putting herself directly in his life. Sousuke had felt the hollow attack and the subsequent roar of reiatsu as Kurosaki took on Kuchiki's shinigami powers. It was a rough debate to have with oneself, on whether or not he should interfere, but Suigesu had made an important point when they had first discovered their trip to the past: why interfere? Sousuke doesn't particularly care about anyone but Kurosaki, and Sousuke knows that the teen lives after beating him, so why on earth should Sousuke stop anything from happening? In the larger scheme of things, Aizen's plans will fall apart and Sousuke won't have to lift a finger.
He keeps this mindset for weeks until he's approached by Kurosaki.
"Are you a shinigami too?"
Sousuke pauses his actions, looking over his shoulder at the teen. He had been cleaning up after a rather boring game of soccer in his last gym class for the day, mind wandering as he packed the soccer balls away. He had been so lost in thought he hadn't even noticed Kurosaki approaching.
"Technically speaking, I suppose so," Sousuke says, humming. He was once a shinigami. Sousuke isn't quite sure what he would be classified as now. He still holds his shinigami appearance and abilities, but his soul structure must be affected in some way to have him be able to live thousands of years without one single sign of aging. As much as Sousuke hates to admit it, the hogyoku did things to him that he still doesn't fully understand. "I haven't been with the Gotei 13 in years, however."
Kurosaki tilts his head, taking Sousuke in. "If you're some type of deserter, why hasn't Rukia said anything? She introduced me to all the shinigami in the area except for you."
Sousuke looks up at Kurosaki with amusement, a fleeting smile crossing his face. Kurosaki really was too nosy for his own good. It was an interesting trait to hold, being simultaneously in the middle of things while also not holding back questions that lead to answers that don't involve him. Kuchiki was under his zanpakuto's shikai just like everyone else. Sousuke has been staying out of everything, being relatively good for a lack of better term, but now he wonders if maybe he should interfere just a little bit. It won't change Kurosaki's path in life, knowing about Sousuke's shikai ability before he meets Aizen. Kurosaki doesn't even see his past self until the entire ryoka affair is almost over. Knowing what Aizen's shikai is will only aid him afterwards, and everyone will discover the truth at the exact same time anyway.
Besides, Sousuke had vowed to turn over a new leaf in some type of capacity.
"Have you learned about zanpakuto abilities yet?"
Kurosaki's brow furrows in confusion.
"Right," Sousuke nods, finally standing, making sure he faces Kurosaki. "First, you must understand what a zanpakuto is. They are not just simple swords that you wave around. The shape of your zanpakuto, as well as its abilities, are based on your reiatsu and your very soul. To gain access to these abilities, you must hear your zanpakuto's name. It is not you naming a sword. It is a piece of your soul, projected in the form of a weapon, calling out to you. They are born with us and they die with us. They are the very reflection of our hearts, Kurosaki-kun."
Kurosaki looks intrigued by his words, his gaze sharp as Sousuke continues. "The abilities they display vary from soul to soul. They also have different, for a lack of a better word, 'upgrades'. The first level is the sealed form. Active shinigami have sealed zanpakuto. It's when they learn the name of their zanpakuto that they achieve the next level: shikai. Each individual shikai is different depending on the shinigami."
"So, the reason Rukia hasn't said anything is because of your shikai ability, whatever it is?" Kurosaki cuts in.
Sousuke smiles slightly, nodding in confirmation. "Yes, that is exactly it, Kurosaki-kun."
"What is its ability?" Kurosaki asks, eyeing Sousuke. His zanpakuto isn't on him at the moment, so Kurosaki's searching gaze would not find it anywhere. It was almost a shame.
"Usually, just because you ask someone that, doesn't mean that you'll get an answer," Sousuke chides slightly. He doesn't really mean it though, because Kurosaki wouldn't be Kurosaki if he was polite. "However, I'm feeling rather generous. Others will tell you, if they knew who I was, that my shikai was water based. The truth is, my shikai is actually complete hypnosis. I can ensnare the senses and convince anyone who has seen my shikai release of anything I want."
Sousuke can immediately see the suspicion that briefly ignites in Kurosaki's eyes, the wariness that comes with Sousuke's overpowered shikai ability. Sousuke doesn't know what he expects Kurosaki to do with the information, that's half the fun of dealing with Kurosaki; you never know what the teen will pull out at the last second.
"Is there a way a stop its affects?" Kurosaki finally asks.
"Yes," Sousuke answers smoothly. "You simply need to touch the sword to negate any and all future attempts at hypnosis."
This gets a reaction. Kurosaki has never been stupid, and he immediately catches on. It was a small moment, their 'accidental' collision, but surely a 'cane' melting away into a sword would stick with someone as odd. "You-," Kurosaki starts, jerking forward, but immediately closes his mouth when they hear a muffled shout outside of the equipment shed that they had been occupying.
"Ichigo!" Kuchiki Rukia's voice echoes out. "Hurry up! How long does it take to talk to a sensei anyway?"
Kurosaki scowls, huffing at the interruption. He obviously has more he wants to say, questions and answers he is looking for, but he still turns towards the door, his shoulders hunched.
"Kurosaki-kun," Sousuke interjects, bringing the teen to a halt. The boy looks over his shoulder, giving his indication that he's listening. "Not all is as it seems in the shinigami's world. Take some advice from someone who regularly deals with illusions: move forward with caution."
Kurosaki leaves after his words, leaving Sousuke to watch his figure disappear behind the slowly closing door. He's surprisingly calm, given the dire tone their conversation had turned towards. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish with his warning, but he doubts Kurosaki will think that much about it. Since being released, Sousuke had been relying a lot more on instinct than on any real planning. He knows for a fact that Kurosaki operates in much the same way. The past will either remain intact, or a shift has already begun that he hasn't yet seen. Only time will truly tell.
"They took Rukia."
Sousuke glances up, carefully taking in Kurosaki's hunched form. There's still some bandages peaking out from below his collar, and Sousuke has half a mind to lecture him on moving around while still hurt, but he remembers the implications of Kurosaki's words far too well to really scold the boy. He had sensed Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji entering the human world four days ago and had been careful to curl his reiatsu tightly against him. The one weakness his shikai had, after all, was that those attuned to reiatsu would be able to sense Kyouka Suigetsu outside of any illusion placed before them. There was no need to ask for trouble.
"I'm going to train with Geta-boshi to get my powers back," Kurosaki confesses, his hands gripped tight around his backpack strap.
"I see," Sousuke answers, slowly standing. "What use do you have for me then, Kurosaki-kun?"
"You warned me," Kurosaki states, face blank, "that something was going to happen."
Sousuke shrugs in response. This incident hadn't been what he was warning Kurosaki about, but it wasn't like it didn't lead to it. "Yes."
"Can you tell me anything else? Geta-boshi is all for helping me get into fighting shape, but he hasn't exactly been very forthcoming on who exactly I'm going to be meeting while in Soul Society."
Sousuke wonders if having foreknowledge on those he's going to fight will really affect the outcome of them. No matter how strong Sousuke stresses someone is, Kurosaki will still fight them. Even before gaining bankai, Kurosaki had been on par with some of the fuku-taichou. Afterwards, he held his own against Kuchiki Byakuya, who wasn't exactly a pushover. No, Sousuke doubts giving him a few extra tips will really stop Kurosaki from rushing in and winning against the odds.
"Sure," Sousuke agrees with a relaxed tone. "Let's start with those a little closer to home. Urahara Kisuke is a banished criminal and letting anybody know that you associate with him is not a good idea."
The shock on Kurosaki's face was certainly entertaining.
Sousuke gives Kurosaki information in small handouts and offhanded comments. The teen returns to him every day after school, for the short time that is left until break. Sousuke shares information that most in the Seireitei wouldn't want a ryoka to know. He gives hints that maybe Urahara and his ilk were banished on bogus charges, but he can't give away the entire truth. Not without explaining how he came about such sensitive information.
"He doesn't know his zanpakuto's name?" Kurosaki asks, lounging on a chair as Sousuke organizes a corner of the equipment shed.
"No, Zaraki can't hear his zanpakuto," Sousuke answers, wiping his hands against his pants. Giving Kurosaki information on all the taichou was something that Urahara should've been doing, but it's not like it affected Kurosaki the first time he busted his way into the Seireitei. Sousuke quirked an amused smile at this thought, though he made sure to hide it from Kurosaki's assessing gaze.
"Kagami-sensei," Kurosaki starts, shifting behind Sousuke. Hearing his false name from Kurosaki's lips never failed to make him scowl internally, but it wasn't like Sousuke had many options. Until Kurosaki confronted the Aizen Sousuke of this time, he was stuck being someone else. Granted, Sousuke had fallen into his role with little fight against it, so it wasn't like he was rearing to return to being Aizen Sousuke. Aizen Sousuke didn't get to freely talk to Kurosaki Ichigo like a valued mentor. Kagami-sensei, however, got to teach Kurosaki whatever he wanted, damn the consequences.
"Yes, Kurosaki-kun?"
"You've told me about a lot of different people," Ichigo continues, "except for yourself."
"Not true," Sousuke interjects, turning a sardonic grin towards the teen. "You are one of the very few, and when I saw few, I mean few, who know what my shikai ability is."
"That's not what I meant," Kurosaki slouches, glaring slightly at him.
"Yes, yes, I know," Sousuke answers with a sigh. "The fact is, Kurosaki-kun, I can't tell you much more. You go to train with Urahara in two days. Whatever that may entail. You will then make your way to Soul Society where you will attempt to rescue your friend from execution. While there, you will surely find out more about me than I really want you to know." Sousuke can admit that he is slightly bitter. He has been building a comradery with Kurosaki for the past weeks, a budding relationship heading towards a possible friendship, but as soon as Kurosaki sees Aizen thrust his hand through Rukia's chest, that bud will be nipped rather effectively.
"You know what I'll learn and you don't like it," Kurosaki hypothesizes.
"Bingo," Sousuke offers unironically. Aizen would never be caught speaking so informally or with as many references to the human world as Sousuke does. Quite frankly, it lets Sousuke pretend that they weren't the same man. He needs as many reminders as he can get to assure himself that he no longer holds the insane dream of living forever.
Kurosaki changes the subject afterwards, something Sousuke is grateful for, but the concern still lingers with him the next two days. He gives his goodbye to the teen and watches him leave, finally heading to start his training with Urahara at the shoten. A vague uneasy feeling has been growing within him since their conversation.
Sousuke had his breakdown and subsequent reconstruction when Suigetsu had helped build him back up. He had panicked over being in the past and then moved on. He hadn't, however, put much thought into how he got here. It was a large thing to overlook, Sousuke was aware, but he had been struggling to play as ignorant as possible. He hadn't wanted to think of the auburn-haired woman who had looked at him with true pity. Now, with Kurosaki soon to be gone, Sousuke fears he might have to face that which he has been avoiding.
'We could run,' Suigetsu suggested, chiming in. A brief image flashes across his mind. Suigetsu has been feeling rather feminine lately, and their hair is long and intricately pulled up into a pony tail. Their white kimono is now pink and mint green. Sousuke suspects they might be asking to be addressed as 'she' soon, but until they let him know, he'll refrain from using specific gender pronouns.
"We can't run," Sousuke tells his zanpakuto spirit, sighing. They couldn't, not with how invested he has become in watching Kurosaki progress from the other side of the line. His reluctance will be obsolete once Kurosaki returns with the complete image of Sousuke's true character, but it will be nice while it lasts.
Suigetsu hums, obviously not agreeing, but knowing that Sousuke won't change his mind. They are feeling each other out even now, the cracks in his inner world slowly correcting themselves. When a mirror cracks, the image is forever distorted. Sousuke will never be what he once was, but he doesn't want to return to that desperately lonely state anyway. He is forging himself anew. If he must find out why and how he's here in order to do that, he will.
For now, until Kurosaki returns with his verdict on Sousuke's place in his life, he will continue to uphold his illusion. He will be an average man working an uninteresting job in a, on the surface, normal town. Sousuke will answer to 'Kagami-sensei' and smile his fake smile and wear his fake warmth like an armor. He will avoid the warehouse he knows exists and he will fight against the temptation to visit the Urahara shoten in disguise, curious if any of the occupants would be able to work out his true identity.
He will wait with patience and use his now shattered self-image to build himself into a better person than he ever was before.
this is a two-shot because there is a before ichigo knew and an after ichigo knew
also i have no idea where suigetsu being genderfluid came from but once i considered it i loved it. u can drag my headcanon from my cold hollow like hands
also: listen to bad liar by imagine dragons and picture pre-betrayal aizen. perfection.