Author's Note: This work is based on a comic by bluewingart on tumblr where Steven dyes his hair pink, and was written with their permission (apologies but I cannot directly link it due to fanfiction dot net limitations). Basically this fic is a direct continuation of that comic though it is not necessarily required reading to understand this story.
I want to personally thank bluewingart for their blessing in doing this.
"You have ... one ... voice message."
Beep.
"Hey Connie, i-it's Steven. So um ... I-I kinda messed up a little. It's not a big deal or anything, I'm not hurt so don't worry about that! But I uh ... I did something a little dumb and I was wondering if you could come help me? It- it's kind of embarrassing, but yeah ... give me a call back if you get a chance ..."
Connie rushed over immediately. She tried to call Steven during the bus ride to Beach City, but there was no answer. Despite what Steven's message said, she found herself worrying. Fortunately, she had Rose's sword and scabbard with her (eliciting a few odd looks from other bus passengers.)
As soon as she got to the beach house, she slammed the front door open. Her hand was at her sword's hilt.
"Steven!" Connie shouted.
No response.
She listened. At first she thought the house was silent, until she heard the faint sound of running water.
She started down the hallway in a flash, sparing only a brief glance up the stairs towards Steven's room. No sign of him, or anyone else for that matter. Her heart pounded as she reached the bathroom door.
High on adrenaline, she kicked the door open, drawing her sword as she entered to see-
Steven completely fine, sticking his head under the bathtub faucet.
He jolted upwards as soon as Connie burst in, quickly grabbing a towel and draping it over his face.
However, Connie hardly noticed this because she was focused on another detail: the fact that Steven currently wasn't wearing his shirt. It was on the floor next to him.
So Connie was looking at him.
Just sitting there.
Without a shirt.
Connie stared for a moment, her face flushing.
"Connie!" Steven said, wrapping the towel on his head.
"Oh um..." Connie shook her head and realized that she was standing silently in front of her best friend holding a sword; it was probably important she say something if she didn't want to look creepy. "A-are you alright?"
"Y-yeah," Steven said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry I just-"
"No no, it's fine," Connie said. She slid the sword back into its scabbard. "I uh ..." She coughed. "I'm just gonna wait outside the door so you can get your- your shirt on and stuff,"
Steven looked down, clearly only then remembering his torso was bare. His face reddened as he scrambled for his shirt.
"Y-yeah, um ... yeah, I'll be out in a minute," Steven stammered out.
"'Kay!" Connie said as she walked out, gently closing the door behind her, trying hard to pretend that wasn't as awkward as it obviously was.
Connie sat waiting on the couch and finally did stop blushing around the time Steven came out the bathroom, fully clothed with the towel still on his head.
Steven bit his lip and chuckled.
"S-sorry about all that," Steven mumbled.
"I-it's okay," Connie said. "I'd already forgotten about it."
She had not forgotten about it at all, but that wasn't important right now.
Connie scratched the back of her neck.
"So um ... what was it you called me about?" she asked. When she saw a cringing expression on Steven's face, she added, "If you don't want to talk about it anymore, it's-"
"No, no, I do, I just-" Steven sighed and flopped down in the couch next to Connie. His eyes were fixated on the floor, not meeting Connie's gaze. After a long pause, he pulled the towel down and revealed his hair.
It was pink.
Connie gasped, amazed she hadn't noticed it right away.
"You dyed your hair?!" Connie said. "I mean ... that is dye, right? It wasn't a Gem magic thing or anything like that?"
"No, it's dye," Steven said, shrinking his neck into his shoulders. "It ... it was stupid. I got the idea to do it and then I saw how I looked after and just-" He paused, not quite finishing his thought. "I was trying to wash it out when you came in. That's why I didn't answer my phone." He gave a bitter laugh. "Didn't work."
Connie was silent, but there was one thing that was very clear from Steven's expression: this wasn't just about dying his hair.
Connie leaned closer to him, gently resting her hand on his shoulder.
"Why did you do it?" Connie asked gently.
Steven met her gaze. He gave an unconvincing smile.
"Oh ... no reason," he said.
Connie's gaze grew sharper. She didn't say anything, but the look she gave him was enough to make Steven's smile fade.
"Sorry," Steven said.
"Yeah, I'm not stupid, Steven," Connie said.
"I know- I just ..." He stopped.
"Steven ... you know you can tell me anything, right?"
"Of course. It's just ... hard ... sometimes."
Connie hesitated before asking, "This is about your mom, isn't it?"
Steven laughed bitterly.
"I guess saying I picked this color at random wouldn't work, would it?" he said.
Connie didn't laugh back. Steven ran a hand through his bright pink hair. He looked up towards the ceiling; it took Connie a moment to realize he was looking at Rose's portrait.
"I just-" Steven shrugged. "I dunno, I figured considering I went to Homeworld and almost died and made everybody worry, the least I could do was something nice."
Connie's eyes went wide as Steven continued.
"And ... you know, I know the Gems and my dad miss mom a lot so I thought maybe me changing something about myself might make things easier for them or-"
Connie found herself shouting without meaning to.
"Steven, that's not good!" she said. "You should be yourself. Thinking you have to change yourself for everyone else ... i-it's not healthy!"
To Connie's surprise, Steven raised his voice back.
"Well, who cares, there's a lot of things that aren't healthy about my life! And thanks to me, half the universe thinks I'm mom anyway so why should I even bother trying to be anyone else?!"
Connie flinched. Steven, realizing what he had just said, instantly put his hand to his mouth. His eyes became moist.
"I ... I'm sorry," Steven said. "I shouldn't have said that, I-"
"It's fine," Connie said. "Just ..." Her hand drifted to his knee. "Don't act like nobody cares what you want. You know I do."
"I know," Steven whispered. He rubbed his temple. "You're right. I shouldn't have done this."
"It's okay. I just ... I just never want you to feel like you have to be anything other than yourself.
Steven fixed his eyes on Connie's.
"That's just it," Steven said. "I'm ... not sure I know how to be myself anymore."
Connie blinked. "What do you mean?" she said.
"I just ... I've spent my whole life trying to be something else. A Crystal Gem ... a leader ... mom ... I dunno, I- I almost worry I've forgotten how to be myself." Steven's voice cracked. "Like ... I dunno, all those days when I didn't really have anything to worry about, when I thought all this Gem stuff was some kind of game, it feels like a million years ago. And I guess I'm proud a little I understand things more now but ... part of me is like ..." He sighed. "I-I miss being that person. And now I don't even feel like I recognize him anymore."
Connie stared at Steven. She clenched her fist.
"Steven," she said, her voice steady. "I'm sorry you feel so bad ... but if you think you're not the same person you always were, you're wrong."
Steven chuckled and shook his head.
"Really?"
"Yes, really," Connie said. "Maybe you don't recognize that, but I do. I mean, yeah, some things have changed, but the type of person you are hasn't. You're still a great person. You're still the same goofball you've always been, deep down."
Steven stared at her, clearly unconvinced. Connie narrowed her eyes.
"I can prove it," Connie said.
"Oh yeah? Ho- hey!"
Steven was interrupted by Connie poking under his rib. He immediately started laughing, just like he had done way back when they first found Rose's armory.
"Haha, okay but what does me being ticklish- hey, stop!" Steven said as Connie continued to prod him in the side. He was giggling and couldn't stop. Connie had a grin on her face as she crawled over, continuing tickling him.
"NO-HAHA-STOP-AHAHA!-I'M WEAK!" Steven said.
A moment later, a bubble appeared around Steven, much to Connie's surprise.
Unfortunately for Steven, the bubble was wide enough that Connie was still inside it, so it did nothing to stop the "attack."
"Nice try!" Connie said, giggling.
Steven, who was in tears laughing, said between gasps, "NO! THE SAVAGERY!"
Steven continued to laugh. Connie noticed the bubble slowly drift a few inches above the couch, but Steven seemed unaware of this.
"STOOOOOP, I'LL PEE MYSELF!" Steven said, his face in a wide grin.
"Admit you're still a goofball!" Connie yelled.
A moment later, he tapped bottom the bubble.
"OKAY, OKAY, I GIVE, YOU'RE RIGHT! I'M A GOOF!"
"Okay!"
Connie stopped tickling him. A moment later the bubble lowered back onto the couch and began to vanish.
Steven wiped the tears from his eyes. Connie smiled as she brushed her messed up hair back.
"Still worried you're not the same person you always were?" Connie said.
Steven snorted.
"I ... I guess not," Steven said. "I mean I'm still worried about some things but ... yeah."
"It's okay to be worried about stuff sometimes but ..." Connie grasped Steven's hand. "But I don't want you to ever think you've lost who you are. Cause you haven't."
They both smiled. A blush formed on Steven cheeks before he gently pulled his hand back.
"So what should I do about ..." Steven gestured to his head.
"We'll go buy some black hair dye and try that."
Steven nodded.
"Oh yeah, I probably should have thought of that before now." He nodded. "Yeah, I guess we should do that."
Connie stood up from the couch when Steven added, "Although ... you wanna try something first?"
"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
Steven shrugged, the redness on his cheeks becoming more visible.
"... iiiit couldn't hurt to see if Stevonnie has pink hair now or not first, right?"
Connie chuckled. Same old Steven, she thought.
"Yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt," she said.