Disclaimer: I don't own TDI, TDA, Trent, or references.

Author's Notes: Winter-Rae gave me the A-okay, so I'm going to go ahead and write some more of these.

I'm flattered with the OWEN unit reviews. Thanks guys! I like it when people say my stories are better than others, regardless of whether it's true or not!

THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL FOR

TRENT

Copyright ChrisMaCleanisawesome Inc.

Greetings, dear customer. May I be the first to say you have made a very fine purchase in this TRENT unit. Each TRENT unit is good for approximately 9 years, 9 months, 9 days, 9 hours, 9 minutes, and 9 seconds of enjoyment.

If you need instructions on how to maximize the utility of your TRENT unit, check out the enclosed instruction book below.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

NAME: Trent Lambert. We don't know if this is his real last name; he just wanted to crack a terrible pun.

TYPE: Not mine.

MANUFACTURERS: The best company ever, ChrisMaCleanisawesome Inc.

HEIGHT: 5'7". Half of this is from his GIANT FREAKING HEAD.

WEIGHT: 135 lbs

LENGTH: His guitar is approximately 3 feet long.

COLOR: Black hair and green eyes.

ACCESSORIES

Your TRENT unit comes packed with an acoustic and an electric guitar, nine shirts with a weird handprint on them, a motorcycle, and a broken heart. It is recommended that you buy the GWEN unit and set her to GWENT mode for your TRENT unit to be happy; otherwise he'll just play sad songs all day.

Upon receiving your TRENT unit, it is strongly recommended to bathe him nine times. Otherwise he'll insist he's not clean enough.

OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS

Your TRENT unit is designed to respond realistically to most stimuli, especially if there is nine of it. His controls are voice-activated and he will respond to commands in English, although you can teach him other languages. Yeah, he's smart, but his grades don't reflect that.

Aside from being charismatic and doing everything nine times, your TRENT unit has many more enjoyable uses.

Music: When you hand your TRENT unit a guitar, he will automatically start playing one of 999 songs in his memory banks. We originally gave him 1000, but he forgot one.

Dancing: Sad that Michael Jackson died? Not to worry! Crank up the tunes, and watch as your TRENT unit masterfully performs the moonwalk! Just make sure he isn't in CHALLENGE THROW mode, or else he will purposely trip on anything on the floor.

Flirting: Are you really, really ugly? As ugly as an EZEKIEL unit? Just get your TRENT unit to meet some girls, and he'll surely woo them. Although he won't make you any less ugly.

Riding Motorcycles: Whenever you get the need to ride across the countryside, place your TRENT unit on a motorcycle, and he'll feel right at home. Plus, he always wears a helmet. We at ChrisMaCleanisawesome Inc. like to be good role models.

Amusing Injuries: Activate your TRENT unit's JINX mode, and he'll start getting into accidents; about one every five minutes (ha, you thought we were going to say nine minutes, were you?) Most of these accidents are highly amusing and will cause your TRENT unit to be covered in a body cast. He heals quickly, though.

Mimes: Even more amusement results from letting your TRENT unit meet a mime. He will run, scream, freak out, and try to get rid of the mime, which will follow him. However, if you let your TRENT unit meet a Mr. Mime instead, he'll just beat you on the head with a hammer.

COMPATIBILITY WITH OTHER MODELS

Your TRENT unit has full compatibility with every TDI model, especially GWEN units in GWENT mode. Note that your TRENT unit will instinctively run away from HEATHER units, and comment on how the LINDSAY unit finished in ninth place in TDI.

PRECAUTIONS

Do not expose your TRENT unit to any GWEN units in BREAKUP mode, CODY units, HEATHER units, mimes, fenceposts, or rotten food. Also never, ever, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE! He will find that very annoying.

FAQ

Q: My TRENT unit is hitting himself on the head! Should I be concerned?

A: Yes, you should be very concerned. Your TRENT unit is currently in CHALLENGE THROW mode, and is acting very weird because he is worried that a GWEN unit doesn't like him. We recommend that you tell your TRENT unit that the GWEN unit never liked him, and that he should hang out with girls that aren't so hard to please instead.

Q: How do I fulfill my fangirlish desires and get my TRENT unit to make out with anything other than GWEN units?

A: TRENT units are not designed to be romantically interested in any other TDI character units, because the only purpose a TRENT unit provides is being the GWEN unit's fickle love interest.

Q: Why does my TRENT unit have such a MASSIVE head?

A: That is completely normal.

TROUBLESHOOTING

Problem: I've been recently using the JINX mode a lot, and whenever I put my TRENT unit in his bathing suit, he starts to glitch up. HELP!

Solution: You are one sick, disgusting freak. Apparently your TRENT unit has also figured this out and is just pretending to glitch so you'll stop abusing him. We wouldn't put it past him.

Problem: My TRENT unit is popping pills like a madman, and now is incredibly sick!

Solution: Kindly tell your TRENT unit that he shouldn't be taking nine of each of his medications, because that is dangerous.

Problem: ARGH! My TRENT unit is shooting cannonballs out of his guitar and destroying my house! He also is always droning about how he wants to take over the world! SAVE ME!!!!!

Solution: You have a defective TRENT unit. Please find a way to turn him off and immediately return him to the store.

Problem: Guh, ah still can't open da box…

Solution: Ugh, you again? Fine…get a crowbar, whack yourself on the head, and leave us alone.

WARRANTY

Your TRENT unit comes with a nine-second warranty, for a nine percent refund.

FINAL NOTES

For any additional problems, you know who to call; not GHOSTBUSTERS, but our help desk, who will be happy to serve you on every day except Christmas and August 12th. ChrisMaCleanisawesome Inc. is not legally responsible for any lawsuits, fines, arson, murders, suicides, misdemeanors, felonies, or any other bad stuff caused by your TRENT unit.

We at ChrisMaCleanisawesome Inc. sincerely hope that you enjoy your TRENT unit. Sucker…oops, did we say that aloud?

Author's Note: Two down, a bazillion to go! Next I'll probably do Heather or DJ.