THE WRITERS BLOCK.

The audience watches as a teenage girl enters the cantina's stage. On her belt are a silver lightsaber (that sometimes doesn't work), a small bag of catnip, and a glowing purple wand. Tapping the microphone, she said one thing.

"I like trains."

Immedicably the crowd flees, believing that a train is going to scream right through the bar. Once the place is deserted, the girl says to herself, "Now I can talk to the real audience."

The teen faces the camera and gives a snarky grin. "Hello, viewer."

"My name's Joanfenny Kenobi, and I'm a Star Wars fan, just like you. I mean, you're on a fanfiction website in the Star Wars section. Anyway, I am a Fanfiction Authoress. Am I a professional? No. Am I famous? No. Do I love what I do and put my heart and soul into it? Yes. Yes I do.

What you are about to see here is a little ditty I like to call A Writers Mind. More specifically A Writers Mind to Jedi Knights, Wizards, Cookies, and Craziness. It's a story of what it's like to have an untamable imagination and a love for fandom. Because let's face it…

Fandom, it's all inside our head.

So if you want to really interact with a character, you gotta dig deep in your own mind.

And that's what this writer does.

You'll see the classics: Luke Skywalker, Gandalf, Reepicheep, Darth Vader, Batman, Odysseus.

You'll see the new guys: Rey, Katniss Everdeen, Kylo Ren, Hera Syndulla, BB8

And you'll see my guys: Orio, Sophie, Ge-Ge, Mary, Noah.

My intensions for this story are three things: 1) It'll make you laugh so hard you'll wet yourself. 2) Inspire you be creative. and 3) Motivate you to fight your flaws, 'cause we all have them.

So without further ado, may I present—"

The Authoress' speech is interrupted by a loud shatter of glass, suddenly Kylo Ren runs across the cantina while being chased by an army of lobsters. Once the place clears, Joanfenny continues.

"—A Writers Mind to Jedi Knights, Wizards, Cookies, and Craziness!"

Luke Skywalker: Wow, that was a long intro.

Joanfenny: This is practically my summer project. By the way, what's with Kylo?

Katniss Everdeen: The lobsters are extracting their revenge.

Orio the cat: Okay…

Joanfenny: Who wants to say the disclaimer?!

Obi-wan Kenobi: Why do we need a disclaimer?

Joanfenny: Fanfiction rules. You always have to say a disclaimer or the real owners of the fandom will sue your pants off.

Luke Skywalker: How 'bout we all say it?

Luke: Joanfenny does not own Star Wars…

Orio: Or Marvel…

Obi-wan: Or anything else in this story except Orio.

Joanfenny: I also own a car!

In the dark heart of Coruscant, miles away from any allies, Luke Skywalker, Rey the scavenger, a black-and-white kitten named Orio, and a young, insane authoress ran through the halls of the Imperial Palace. Their lunged burned and hearts raced as Emperor Palpatine's royal guards were nipping at their heels with their powerful spears. The heroes had lost contact with the others, and the Authoress' wand was losing power. Hope was slipping through their fingers like sand. They all knew that if the Authoress was captured, it will be the end for all the heroes in general. For she, and she alone, held the ultimate power that could either save everyone, or grant the villains eternal victory.

"Ok, that's it!" The Authoress screamed, halting in her tracks. With a wave of her wand, the heroes were suddenly teleported to a large, strange room. Two of the walls were bookshelves that scaled from ceiling to carpet, and the other two were unpolished stone with small diamonds incased in it. The ceiling itself was glowing a pale blue, and the carpet was magenta. On the far end of the room was a large bed covered in art utensils, notebooks, sketchpads, and various candies. On the other end were double doors, with potted cactuses on each side of the exit. The characters didn't know this, although the Authoress did, there were two Griffins guarding the doors outside. Their job: farting at intruders. And believe me, you don't want to smell Griffin farts.

Before any of the characters could opened her mouth, the Authoress screamed, "Scéalaí, stop giving the story such a serious setting."

Why? I snapped. It hooks the reader's attention. And it was only one paragraph.

"Yeah, but I'm not serious, I'm insane, remember?"

How can I forget? I'm a voice inside your head; I'm stuck with you for eternity.

"You should be grateful I let you narrate my adventures, instead of simply floating inside my head, having no purpose in life."

Sheesh, I give the first paragraph to this story and already I have a critic. Hope you reviewers are a little more merciful.

"A-hem." Luke Skywalker cleared his thought.

The Authoress turned her gaze at the Jedi Master. "Oh, sorry Luke."

"Where are we?" Luke snapped.

"Oh," the girl waved her hands dramatically, "Jedi Master, and cat, and scavenger, welcome to my think tank!"

"Why are we here?" Rey queried. You know, it's time Lucasfilm gave her a last name. Some people say she's a Kenobi, while others-

"Shut up, Stephanie." The girl hissed, staring into oblivion.

Why, ugh, why do you always call me that, it's—

"Shush, Narrator. Anyway, we are here because… I've hit writers block."

The heroes gasped. "No," Orio wailed, "Not writers block!"

The Authoress sighed dramatically. "Yes, in our current mission, completely surrounded by villains with no way of escape, I have no idea how we can get the heroes to safety."

"But you just abandoned them." Luke stated. A moment later he noticed a large bag of Swedish Fish on Joan's bed, so the young Jedi slowly inched towards it.

Meanwhile, the girl said. "No worries, we could spend a year here and when we get back, it would be the same time we left."

"But how shall we rescue them, and escape ourselves?" Rey queried. "If we're captured, Palpatine might through us in a cell with Jar Jar."

"Well, I just said, I've hit writers—Luke!" The girl slapped the Jedi's outstretched hand. "No touch me Swedish Fish!"

Luke whimpered as he rubbed his hand.

"How about we teleport everyone back to Planet Truce?" Orio suggested.

The girl shook her head. "I barely have enough wand power to teleport the four of us here."

Rey was examining the huge bookshelf as she said, "You've read the Odyssey?" You see, on the bookshelf was every book the Authoress had ever read. She's also read Dante's Inferno.

"Yeah. It's a good book, once you get past all the boring stuff."

"Doesn't Odysseus murder all of his wives suiters?"

Everyone was silent for a moment before Luke stated. "That… has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation."

A lightbulb suddenly appeared over the Authoress' head. "Wait, that's it! Rey you're a genius!"

"I am?"

"She is?"

The girl smiled as if Christmas had some early. "Wow, the classics do give great ideas."

Luke gave a nervous expression. "Are we going to murder some suiters?"

"They're dead." The royal guard said. He, as well several other villains, were in Palpatine's office (you know, the one where Mace was thrown out the window). Before them were four bodies. A Jedi, a scavenger, a cat, and an Authoress. The girl's tongue was sticking out, and her face was twisted an odd expression. The cat was lying in a dead-beetle position.

The Great Emperor Palpatine (Or as the Authoress and I like to call him, Emperor Poopatine) sat in his desk staring at the corpses. "How is this possible?"

"We are not sure. We found them this way in one of the halls. The cat muttered something about ice cream and Neil Armstrong before he too died."

"How… unfortunate." Palpatine sneered. His Apprentice, Darth Vader stood motionless, his masked fixed upon his son.

"Lord Vader, this sudden lose does not affect you, does it?" The Emperor hissed.

Vader was silent for a moment. "No… my master."

Liar. The Authoress thought. Man, my tongue's getting dry.

Suddenly the cat coughed.

"Wait a minute." Palpatine snapped as he stood up. "The feline still lives."

Thinking quickly, the cat rose up and gave out a hideous snarl.

"It's a zombie!" Palpatine screamed, his cool, collective self forgotten. "Run for you lives!" Every villain except Vader fled from the room in terror. Vader, in an almost bored tone, said, "You all can stop playing dead now."

Luke sat up. "How did you know?"

"I am one of the few sane villains." Vader reminded his son.

"Yeah, that's 'cause his awesomeness counter attacks my insanity vibes I give out." The Authoress said casually. She jumped into Palpatines spinney chair and pulled up the Emperor's laptop (yes, they have laptops in Star Wars). "So, Mister Tall, Dark, and Genocidal, where are the Rebels?"

"Why should I be concerned about them?" Vader hissed, crossing his arms in an awesome way. Yes, Vader his so cool he makes arm-crossing look awesome.

The girl pulled out her wand and narrowed her eyes at the Sith. "Because I'll turn you into a chicken wearing a pocka-dot sweater if you don't help."

Using the Force, Vader ripped the wand from her grasp. "You were saying?"

The girl smiled. Suddenly a purple laser shot from the edge of the wand, hitting Vader and turning him into a chicken wearing a pocka-dot sweater. "I don't need to hold the wand in order to use it." The girl snickered.

A moment later Vader turned back to normal. After he collected himself, he said, "Very well, here's what you must do."

About an hour later the Authoress' ship Fireproof flew out of Coruscant's atmosphere and into hyperspace. Aboard the ship was the four heroes, as well as the Ghost crew.

"Thank you for rescuing us, Master Skywalker." Kanan Jarrus said. Unfortunately he was blind, so he was staring at a wall as he spoke.

"I'm over here." Luke said as he turned the Jedi Knight around. "And you're welcome, but it was actually the Authoress who saved all of us."

"The Authoress?" Kanan sounded surprised. "How?"

Luke looked over to the teenager, who was currently showing Sabine Wren and Ezra Bridger the power of M&Ms.

"It's a long story, let's just saw we had a little help."

"Ack! I swallowed the M&M the wrong way." Ezra wheezed, clutching his throat.

"You're supposed to chew them, genius." The Authoress snapped.

Suddenly Orio, wearing an 80s-style outfit, flew out of one of the closets. Music began playing in the air. "Cause this is THILLER! Thriller night!"

Everyone stared the dancing feline. "Do I want to know?" Hera Syndulla queried.

The young Authoress gave the Twi'lek a look, "Yo, General, have some respect for the 80's."

Ahsoka Tano: So… this is your first chapter?

Joanfenny: Yup!

Ahsoka: doesn't the story officially begin when—

Joanfenny: Don't give it away!

Orio: I'm so exciiiiiited! This story's gonna be epic!

Joanfenny: Yeah, and the more reviews I get, the faster the story will come along.

Luke, facing the reader, waves his hand: You will review, favorite, follow, and subscribe this story.

Leia: Subscribing is YouTube, Luke.

Sabine Wren: Wait, is Palpatine the main villain in this story?

Joanfenny: Nope.

Ezra Bridger: Then who is?

Joanfenny: You'll see… Oh, and by the way, if you want some Easter eggs on what's going to happen in this tale, check out my other story: Fanfiction Authoress.

Luke: Isn't that when you attack Vader with a—

Joanfenny: Don't give it away!