SM OWNS ALL THINGS TWILIGHT
AN: To any of my incredible readers that have stuck with me through my crazy RL probs that continue...there aren't really words. You are incredible. I know that this isn't what a lot of you were hoping for, but I hope you can find something to enjoy. This one shot came about after I was totally blown away by the Take That and Robbie Williams concert here in the UK...lets just say, I became a squealing teenager again Uk fans will notice that I have borrowed a few songs from Mr Robbie Williams, and the band are rather Take That like, but I always wanted to see Carlisle strutting his stuff on stage and Rob was perfect inspiration, as was Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, which the girl next to me on train home, who absolutely hated Take That judging by her face, at finding herself in a carriage full of hyper Thatters!
Anyway...thanks again and I hope you can find something to enjoy.
ESME POV
We didn't speak.
There was too much to say. And this, tonight, was a time for feeling, reconnecting. Or more accurately consummating the connection we had made so many years ago, which despite both of us going on to lead separate, crazy lives, with other relationships, other lovers, we had both never been able to forget.
It was crazy. We should have waited, taken our time, gotten to know each other as adults, rather than acting on the naive impulses that had been so strong in our naive and adolescent selves, we knew that. The grown up, serious part of our brains, was screaming this at us both. I could see it in Carlisle's eyes, in his tentative touch. But we genuinely couldn't help ourselves.
Alice and the rest of our friends would comment later, that they we were surprised and impressed we had lasted as long as we had.
"Jesus Es...every time you two look at each other, it's hard to tell what you want to do more. Fuck each other senseless, or just spend days curled up in each other's arms. But whatever it is...please for the love of god and the sake of all those poor people, who have spent ridiculous amounts of money buying tickets for these shows, do it soon. He is a stupid, grinning, seriously un coordinated useless lump and you...you seem to have plenty of great video footage of the floor, the walls, everything but the stage." Edward Masen had said to me with an edge of seriousness to his playful tone, as we had shared a drink at the hotel bar the previous night.
"Es...are you alright?" Carlisle said roughly as he teased the sensitive skin behind my ear, with his soft warm breath and the deep timbre of his voice.
"Yeees..." I sighed, tilting my head slightly, to allow him better access to my neck, which he took greedily. "This is crazy..." I whispered, one hand running roughly through his hair, the other skimming over the rippling muscles of his back.
"Totally mental..." he agreed, growling against the skin of my pulse point, causing me to whimper and tremble in his arms. After a moment, he stopped, looking up at me, his face tense, his lust hooded eyes serious.
"Do you want to stop?" he asked. "Tell me now and I will, the last thing I want..." he began.
"Carlisle... the only thing I want...I need right now, is you...it's crazy...and I'm terrified, that once we...finish what we started so long ago..."
With a deep sigh, Carlisle pulled me flush against his body and tipped his forehead against mine.
"Oh babe...and I'm scared that...you'll be disappointed...that...being with a pop star, ain't all that it's cracked up to be...but...all I can tell you..." he said pulling back to cup my face in his hands. "I wanted you, the minute I saw you, and it really did take everything I had, not to give in to your adorable pouting..."he said with a soft smile, laying a sweet kiss on the end of my nose. "But I knew, I could feel...there was...is...something about you Es...dammit...you've been in my head, in my heart, for fifteen years..." he said, his tone becoming rough and desperate.
He opened his mouth to say more, but I stopped him, by claiming his mouth roughly with my own, causing him to let loose a moan into my mouth, which became deeper and eventually turned into a deep growl I could feel vibrating in his chest, which was pressed tightly against my own, as taking the entrance to his mouth he had unsuspectingly given me, I allowed my tounge to tease and taste his own.
His hands slipped from my face and hair, down my body to rest on my arse for a long moment. Loving the fact that I had managed to illicit such a wanton sound from Carlisle, I attempted to get another, by rolling my hips against his increasingly obvious arousal. I succeeded, I think, as my own deep moan at the feel of the incredibly friction and then my sudden squeak of shock, as he lifted me up wrapping my legs around his hips, had me rather distracted.
"I'm kinda glad...we waited...I don't think...I would...have had...the confidence...to do...any...of ...what...I...just...diiiidddd...oh Carlisle...when I was sixteen..." I chuckled breathlessly, my hands running roughly through Carlisle's hair and down his back, as he carried us through into the bedroom of his hotel suite. Laying me back on the bed gently, Carlisle proceeded to crawl up my body, nudging aside my legs, so that he could lay flush against me as he captured my hands in one of his own and held them over my head.
" Oh...I don't know...I think you would have tried...I could see...feel the naughty girl in you back then..." he said, as he brushed his smiling lips gently against my own several times.
"You could also see...the innocent..." I breathed.
" Yes I did..." he said kissing me with such tenderness, I began to whimper as I struggled to touch him.
"She's still here Carlisle...and she...loves you even more, than she did then. Now she knows the real you..." I said. It was Carlisle's turn to whimper as he claimed my mouth softly, tenderly, exploring, tasting, engaging me in a gentle battle that I was more than happy to allow him to win as I felt so much genuine emotion wash over me.
"Do you know how many times...I have thought, dreamt...written bloody songs...about this moment...about hearing you say that...I don't know where...or why...you were sent into my crazy...mixed up...life...Esme...but...I am not...letting you go...I can't...not again..." Carlisle said as he moved his kisses and caresses down my body.
"It's our time now..." I said moving my hands from his hair and forcing him to look at me. The look of happiness, hope, need and love in his beautiful blue eyes brought tears to my eyes.
I had just taken a running jump off of a very high, metaphorical cliff and I knew that I could crash painfully at any moment, but I didn't care. I was dragged from my brooding, by the shudder that wracked my body, as Carlisle allowed his talented and dangerous tounge to circle my now bare navel. I couldn't hold back the growl that escaped me at the sight of the almost carnal smile that was now twitching Carlisle's lips and giving his eyes a devilish glow as he rested his chin on my stomach.
"Talking of time...I think...it's time...that naughty little Miss Esme, got to meet the naughty Carlisle she was so eager to meet all those years ago..." he said smoothly.
"Christ...you are stunning...an angel..." Carlisle said a few minutes later as he sat back on his heels to admire me, as I lay naked before him.
"Your angel..." I mumbled roughly, as I reached for him, desperate for him to continue the delicious torture he had subjected me to as he had undressed me.
"Always..." Carlisle said softly, laying a gentle kiss to the side of my bent left knee, before he lifted it, settled it over his shoulder and began a torturously slow trail of kisses, nips and licks up my inner thigh, towards my aching hot core.
"CARLISLE...oh pleeease..." I had literally screamed, when he had finally found my apex and taken my swollen bundle of nerves in his mouth.
"Please what baby..." Carlisle had crooned against my thigh.
I wasn't actually sure what it was I wanted I just knew, I needed more of the incredible sensation that was spreading all over my body.
"More..." I whimpered.
"More of this?" he queried, allowing his teeth to graze my swollen nub, causing me to almost jack knife off of the bed.
"Or more of this? He asked placing an anchoring arm over my hips, before allowing his dangerous tounge, to mimic the action another part of his anatomy, was desperate to make.
I was unable to control my body as my head began to thrash against the pillows and I began fisting the sheets around me. My entire body was on fire, burning with the most intense need I had ever experienced, but it still wasn't enough to push me over the edge that was painfully close, but frustratingly just out of reach. I began to writhe and grind myself wantonly towards Carlisle, wrapping my other leg over his hip and doing everything I could, to draw him closer as I moaned in frustration and need.
"Oh baby no...that...is...not...a good sound...not...the sound...I want...to hear...jesus...you taste so damn good angel..." Carlisle growled as he allowed his flattened tounge, to take a long swipe of my burning entrance. "I want...I need...to hear you...call my name beautiful..."he purred, snaking his way up my body to kiss me deeply, capturing my first scream of pleasure as he slipped first one, then two, fingers inside me, curling them in just the right place to hit the sweetest spot.
"Carlisle..." It emerged almost like a prayer, as my entire body began to shudder in almost relief as the painfully tight coil of need in my stomach began to unravel.
I only managed to catch the odd word of Carlisle's heart felt declarations of love, as the increased pace of his fingers, meant that I was lost, to the soul deep warmth and almost painfully intense spasm's of pleasure that were rippling through me.
When I finally came down from my incredible high, I had had two very good lovers in the past and experienced oral sex before, but this...I had truly never felt like this before, it was to see Carlisle smiling at me a slight look of smugness on his face.
"Not bad Mr Rock Star..." I had teased, unable to hide the stupid grin plastered across my face.
Carlisle's laugh had been loud and genuine as he kissed me gently.
"Make love to me Carlisle..." I had said finally, needing to feel that final connection as much as I could see Carlisle did, both physically and mentally. And whilst what Carlisle had just done to me and what I would do to him later, had been acts of carnal need...fucking...rock star behaviour, the moment we had joined for the first time and everytime after that, it really was about emotion and love. Bracing his weight on his arms which he placed either side of my head, Carlisle had almost begged me, to open my eyes and look at him as we moved together. And as I gazed transfixed into his eyes, I heard every sweet, tender word as wrapping my arms and legs around him and almost cradling him against me, we fell over the edge together.
"So, have I lost the band its number one fan?" Carlisle asked with a soft chuckle a few minutes later, as he we lay on our sides, and he wrapped his body protectively around mine. I couldn't help but laugh, as he used the same words he had all those years ago once more.
"I don't think so...you'll do...with some practice..." I replied, using some of my own words from back then and earning a laugh and a tender kiss from Carlisle. Whilst he quickly drifted into sleep, my mind began to wander the events that had led me to be living my teenage dream made beautifully real.
"Now remember the rules...no screaming, no fainting, or inappropriate touching..."
"Alice, I'm 32, not 16!" I had hissed irritably as the straightening iron I was using in an attempted to tame my freshly washed curls, came into contact with my skin once more.
"Says the woman whose squeal of delight when she found out the Heart Breakers were planning a reunion tour, could and I'm sure did, break glass and deafen dog's somewhere..." Alice had replied wryly.
"It wasn't that loud..." I had huffed, feeling a heat fill my cheeks that had nothing to do with the styling tool in my hands.
"Of course it wasn't Es..." Alice had chuckled.
"Well, if I'm that much of an embarrassment, you won't want your ticket then..." I had shot back, causing as I hoped, the teasing little pixie to become silent.
True she was choking on whatever she was drinking on the other end of the line, but at least she was quiet. Alice had loved The Heart Breakers, the biggest selling boy band of the nineties, who had captured our teenage hearts and never really let them go, almost as much as I did. But whilst her favourite had always been Jasper, the curly haired quiet man with the killer dance moves, and fondness for wearing risqué costumes during certain numbers. Most noticeably a pair of red leather ass less chaps, my favourite had always been Carlisle, the cheeky youngest member of the band who had grown into the naughty, edgy, and sexy as hell unofficial front man.
A promotion that had never, sat well with Edward Masen, the member of the band responsible for writing the bands classic hits. As whilst Edward was a teenage girls dream to look at, a delicate almost femininely pretty face, wild hair perfect for running your hands through, a tall lithe body and large, expressive green eyes, he lacked, despite his best efforts, the other boys natural stage presence. With his attempts at joining in their famous routines and banter being sneered at by the press and joked about by even the most loyal fans, including myself I thought, feeling a guilty blush heat my cheeks.
Not that the fans were allowed to see any of the hurt, dissatisfaction or power struggles that were going on within the band. They were as always, carefully hidden away behind the dazzling smiles that shone out at us from our posters and the cheerful friendly banter and slick performances that had us glued to our TV screens.
"Ungrateful...cow...without me...you...Carlisle...kiss...never...happened...witch..." Alice had finally spluttered, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I know...I'm sorry Pixie..." I had muttered, before cursing as my hair brush had fallen from my now shaking hand and I had felt my legs begin to tremble.
"HELLO WEMBLEY...WOO HOO!" Alice had screamed excitedly, throwing her hands in the air and almost giving me a black eye, as we had taken our seats in the front row, for the Heart Breakers Science and Magic Tour. I still wasn't sure how my mum had been able to get those tickets, especially as she had been a single parent working all the hours there were and a few more, but the morning after I had received my pretty damn good exam results, my mother had presented me with another small brown envelope.
"Give Emmett a squeeze for me..." she had chuckled softly before kissing the top of my head and hurrying out the door to work. Always cooler than a lot of other mothers in my opinion, my mum had taken me to my first Heart Breakers concert five years before and fallen in love with Emmett, who despite being intimidating large, had been dubbed the 'cute' member of the band, thanks to his friendly open face and adorable dimples.
It went without saying that; the spare ticket I had would be going to Alice. I still smiled when I remembered that conversation. It seemed like the words had barely left my mouth before she was bouncing round my kitchen, telling me how much she loved me.
"I'll finally be able to see Jasper, in all his sexy assed glory..." she had sighed happily. Whilst Alice and I had been to concerts before, her small stature had meant that she didn't always get the best view, not that that had ever stopped her from enjoying herself.
She had arrived at my house at lunch time that day, with the entire afternoon spent to making sure we looked the best we could for two sixteen year old girls who were still growing into their feminine curves.
Our wardrobes were simple, jeans and cropped Heartbreakers T-shirts, but Alice had given my usually pale face a really pretty and natural coat of makeup and managed to tame my mass of hair into a pony tail that had prettily framed my face.
"There, now when Carlisle looks out into the crowd, he'll see no one but you." She had giggled when she had finally let me look in the mirror.
"Knowing my luck, he'll look at me just as all my makeup is running and my hair has turned into a sweaty brillo pad." I had scoffed. Even now, confidence in my looks was not something I had a lot of.
"We'll see." Alice had trilled a knowing smirk on her face, as she had then set about making herself irresistible to Jasper.
And like she often was, the psychic little pixie had been right. The band had been half way through their third song, a song where Carlisle had lead vocals, when he had wandered over to the left of the stage where we were standing. After walking along pretending to conduct the crowd as they sung along happily with him, he paused right in front of us.
"The rumours true, you know that they're been others...what can I do, I tell you girl...they don't mean a thing." He had crooned, causing the girls around us to hyperventilate. Whilst I on the other hand was strangely calm, with Alice still convinced that I had actually stopped breathing as I had gazed intensely at his face. And she had been partly right, a lock of his already sweat dampened blonde hair had fallen across his brow as he had bent his head away from me, obscuring my view of his beautiful blue eyes, but then he had turned once more and I was still convinced looked straight at me, as he had sung;
"Everything Changes but you... you know every single day...I'll be thinking of you..."
The intensity of emotion in those beautiful blue eyes I had spent so many hours staring into on posters, had, taken my breath away. Whilst the cheeky smirk and wink had caused my already aching legs to threaten to give way beneath me.
"I TOLD YOU! DIDN'T I TELL YOU?" Alice had shrieked loudly in my already ringing ears when Carlisle had moved away. I had vague memories of nodding my head, but after that moment, I had not been able to focus on anyone else but Carlisle, who seemed to favour our side of the stage after that song. During one of the final songs, where the band walked along the front row, Jasper followed Carlisle rewarding Alice's squeak of his name with a warm;
"'Ello Darlin...thanks for coming..."and a kiss to her hand.
Carlisle hadn't spoken to me, simply fixed me with another dazzling gaze of those beautiful eyes and a slight smile, as he squeezed my hand.
As the lights had risen and the crowd had begun to stream out into the cold night, Alice and I had simply stared at each other in stunned silence as we waited for the crush of people moving around us to thin out a little before we moved. It had been whilst we had been waiting, that Alec, the nicest of Alice's mother's numerous ex boyfriends had approached us and offered us a lift home. He had been at the show with Heidi and Chelsea his two daughters, who had been beyond excited to see Alice again. Alice and I had spent weeks persuading my mum that we would be safe getting the tube back to my house where Alice was staying the night and that she didn't have to brave the horrendous traffic around the stadium to collect us.
But when Alec informed us on the long walk from the front of the stage to the exit, that when he had popped out just before the end, he had noticed that it was now pouring with rain, both Alice and I and my mum, who Alec had insisted on calling, had been glad of the offer. My mum had even sounded excited about Alec bringing us home much to my embarrassment and Alice's delight. She had always said that Alec deserved someone like my mum, rather her vain and selfish incubator as Alice bitterly referred to the woman who had referred to her as her 'little mistake' during many of her drunken rambles.
"Only thing is girls, I have to nip back stage first...not for long...it's just there's a little meet and greet thing with the boys in the band and the sponsor's of the show and I have to show my face..." Alec said wearily. Alice would tell me later, that Alec was an executive for one of the emerging mobile phone companies that were sponsoring the show, she insisted she had told me several times before, but the only thought I had had in my mind, was that we were going back stage and I was going to see, maybe even speak to Carlisle. The look of stunned disbelief and nervous excitement was one that I was sharing with Alice, Heidi and Chelsea according to a highly amused Alec.
After an emergency visit to the least full of the nearby bathrooms, we had followed Alec down a maze of corridors that ran behind the stage, into a large but slightly shabby reception room that was full of bored looking old men in suits that were more interested in the free bar, rather than the five tired looking men who were each working a corner of the room, shaking hands, smiling, posing for pictures and signing the various bits of paper being thrust at them.
"Would you girls like a drink?" Alec had asked sweetly.
"Yes please...we'll help you carry them, won't we Alice..." Heidi had declared, dragging Alice and Chelsea forwards towards the refreshment table, where Emmett , Jasper and fifth member of the band Mike had been hovering.
That had left me sat in the corner by myself, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me as the curious, slightly drink glazed eyes of several of the men in the room fell upon me.
"Soooo, did you enjoy the show?" A short, fat, balding and disgustingly sweaty man whose name was Charles according to the tag around his neck, had slurred as he flung himself heavily in the seat next to me.
"Ye..Yes thanks..." I had stammered, trying not to heave as the vile stench of his breath hit me full in the face. A quick glance round the room had shown me that Alec was in deep discussion on the far side of the room with a group of his colleagues whilst Alice, Chelsea and Heidi were now in the opposite corner of the room, giggling and blushing as they chatted to Jasper, Emmett and Mike.
I had been stuck and scared, as Charles' podgy clammy hand, which had been draped over the back of my chair, suddenly landed on my shoulder and began creeping towards my breast. Whilst the sensible part of my brain was screaming at me to move, or scream, the terrified part had frozen me to the chair rendering me a trembling, speechless wreck.
Until, I found myself staring once more, into a familiar pair of deep blue eyes.
"Hello gorgeous..sorry I've kept you waiting for so long...forgive me?" Carlisle said softly as he bent down and gently kissed my cheek.
"Sure..." I had managed to squeak.
"Thanks for looking after her Charles...but I did promise her a back stage tour..." Carlisle had said tightly, the tight smile twisting his lips, not reaching his now icy blue eyes.
"She never said anything to me...we were talking..." Charles had hissed, taking a painfully tight grip of my wrist as he had tried to keep me next to him.
"Well I'm telling you now." I had hissed as I yanked my hand free, desperately hoping that I could get the tears of pain I felt forming in check.
"Oh I see...like that is it...well I guess you don't have much choice in how young they are, being a teeny bopper band and all..." Charles had sneered quietly at Carlisle.
"So what's your excuse?" I had asked Charles innocently
Before I had had chance to hear Charles' mutters of protest, Carlisle had grabbed my trembling hand in one of his own large ones and tucking me securely to his side, lead me from the room.
We didn't speak for at least five minutes as we negotiated an even longer series of corridors than the ones I had come down. Not that I could have spoken. Having my arm wrapped around Carlisle's waist , feeling his arm draped protectively around my shoulder as he held me close to his side, meant that it had taken all my concentration to remember to breathe. And when I did breathe, I was too busy drawing in the scent of clean linen, soap, a deodorant or aftershave I had never been able to identify, cigarettes, alcohol, the leather of his jacket and something that was uniquely Carlisle, to want to talk.
"Do you mind if we nip outside? Only I'm desperate for a ciggy?" Carlisle had said finally. I had shook my head dumbly as we had pushed our way through a fire exit, into a small bay full of large silver cases which I assumed held parts of the stage equipment.
Once we were outside, Carlisle had pulled his arm from my shoulders and stepped away from me, only to return to my side in an instant, to wrap his leather jacket tightly around my shoulders, when he mistook my almost violent tremble at the sudden lack of contact, for me being cold or in shock at what had just happened, which now I thought about it, I probably was.
"Are you alright? If you can give me five minutes, I'll take you back, I'm sure old Charlie boy will have found someone else to sleaze over." He had said rubbing his hands up and down my arms.
It had taken me an embarrassingly long moment to find my voice, as I was afraid it would emerge as little more than a squeak or a moan, thanks to the crackles of pleasure shooting through me caused by his touch.
"I'm...I'm fine..." I had finally managed to say, giving him what I hoped was an attractive smile.
"So...what is your name, not that gorgeous doesn't suit you..." he had asked with a cheeky wink a moment later after lightening up a much needed by the speed in which he inhaled, cigarette. After offering the packet towards me and smiling when I refused we moved towards one of the larger trunk like cases, which Carlisle proceeded to lift me onto, before joining me. Our legs swinging below us.
"Esme." I had replied quietly, feeling the familiar blush of embarrassment heat my cheeks as I admitted my name, which to me always sounded like such an old woman's name to me.
"That's a pretty name...means 'to be loved'...did you know that?" he had asked. "And it's quite appropriate...considering I seriously bloody love you at this moment, the way you spoke to him." He sniggered.
"I wasn't having a dirty old perv like him, talking to you like that. You're not like that." I had insisted hotly.
Carlisle had looked genuinely shocked by my words and the fierce passion behind them for a minute, before he had smiled at me softly, almost sadly.
"Bless you Esme...but I'm afraid you can't always believe everything you read in the fan magazines...I'm no saint love..."
I could still remember the strange mixture of excitement, jealousy and a little fear I had felt at his words.
"And I'm not a total innocent." I had finally replied, my tone a little sharper than I had meant it to be.
Carlisle had said nothing for a long moment as he observed me.
"So, if I were to kiss you, or touch you right now, you wouldn't freak out...run away screaming?" he had finally challenged, moving a little closer to me.
"Depends..." I had replied, earning a curious look from Carlisle.
"On whether you're a decent kisser or not...I'm very fussy." I had finished. I to this day, had no idea where the sudden surge of confidence had come from. But I would be forever grateful for it, as it had elicited from Carlisle a peal of deep, genuine laughter, that had caused him to throw his head back in delight and his eyes when he had finally looked at me, to sparkle the most beautiful deep blue.
"So Miss Esme, have you had many fellas fail to meet your high standards?" he had teased, slurring ever so slightly thanks to the two beers he'd had before I arrived and the ebbing of the adrenaline that had kept him going through the show and beyond.
"Not that many, my name might mean to be loved, but haven't found that many willing to try." I had grumbled. My shyness, especially around boys, had been and still was a major source of frustration to me and amusement to everyone but my mum and Alice. Hence Alice's frequent comment, that if she hadn't have seen it for herself, she would never have believed what Carlisle and I had done.
Carlisle had chuckled softly as he had pinched the end of his cigarette and thrown it aside.
"I know the feeling..."
My surprise must have shown on my face.
"Don't get me wrong love, the love I feel from the fans every night, every time I see them at meet and greets, outside hotels and whatever is amazing and I cherish it, I really do. But it would be nice to have that special, intense, feel it deep down in your very soul, drives you crazy, makes you grin like an idiot for no reason, fuck the rest of the world, we've got each other love. Hell, at the moment, I would settle for having the no matter how crazy this shit gets, I've got your back, brotherly love that I used to have with the other lads. Anything to stop the nightmares, the loneliness and the feeling like I could quite easily drop down dead at any moment because my heart is beating so fast panic, I feel every day." Carlisle had whispered roughly, more to himself than me as he had gazed out into the darkness, running his hands roughly through his hair.
I didn't realise I had taken Carlisle's free hand, which had been resting on his jean clad knee, tightly in my own, until his head had snapped towards me in surprise once more. He made no move to remove his hand, if anything he had held onto it tighter as he had looked deep into my eyes.
"Have I just cost the band a fan? Shattering all your illusions of cheeky chappy Carlisle?" he had asked, his tone rough and almost desperate.
"No...I saw cheeky Carlisle up there on stage for two hours. I had my screaming fan girl moment when he sang Everything Changes to me..." I had said with a small, shy smile, feeling my cheeks heat with a blush. "This..this is an unexpected, but really, really nice surprise...meeting the real Carlisle...just kinda of wish, I could do something to give him back some of the happiness he's given me."I had said honestly.
"Oh Jesus...why couldn't you be just a few years older..?" Carlisle had growled, leaning forward and stroking my cheek with the hand he had been running furiously through his hair a few minutes earlier. My breath had caught in my throat as he had tipped his forehead against mine and began to twist one of my escaped curls around his finger. We were now so close it felt like we had been sharing the same electrically charged breath.
"I'm 16..." I had huffed, unable to hide my indignation at once again, being dismissed as being too young.
"Yes you are..." Carlisle had chuckled softly in response to my little tantrum, which had caused me to become even more irritated and try to pull away from him.
"Es..no, I'm sorry babe...I didn't mean it like that...I know what it's like to be dismissed, just because you're the youngest..." he had said, his tone turning slightly bitter. "You are already an incredibly beautiful, intelligent, funny and fiesty young woman, I was just thinking that if you were a few years older, I wouldn't feel so damn guilty about asking you to come away on tour with me, to be there to try and sort out the crazy shit floating round my messed up head, to be there...in my bed every night..." he had said, his final words taking on a deep, smooth, loaded tone that had caused me to shiver once more.
"I...I bet...you say that...to...all the girls..." I had whispered.
"Ooh, see what I mean...sexy and smart..." Carlisle had sniggered. "But no Esme,I have never actually said those words to a woman, and actually meant them before. Because I truly, truly do wish I could take you with me Es...there is something about you...that makes me..." he hadn't finished his sentence, preferring instead to show me how I made him feel, claiming my mouth in a tender kiss which quickly became more heated as he turned and pulled me flush against him.
And just as it had been sixteen years before, my soft whimper, this time at the memory of the feel of his soft lips moving hungrily against my own, his tongue tasting and teasing every inch of my mouth, before allowing me to nervously explore his, he was only my third proper kiss, had been cut off by an impatient shriek from Alice.
" ESME! Are we having fun, wandering down memory lane?" she had sniggered, her voice making me jump in fright as it echoed noisily through the speaker of my cell phone, which I had balanced on top of the toilet as I had attempted to sort out my hair and apply my makeup, all under Alice's supervision.
"Well I was...until an annoying little pixie sprang out of nowhere" I had huffed.
"Darling, you are so lucky, that it was me that burst through that door that night. If Heidi or Chelsea had seen you, it would have been all over the tabloids by the morning and if Alec bless him, had seen you, Carlisle would have found himself singing at a much higher key than he was used to."
Charles had given Carlisle and I a ten minute head start, before informing Alec in the most overly dramatic way possible that I had snuck out with Carlisle, whose hands were wandering to 'inappropriate places on a girl so young and innocent'. A frantic ten minute search later, had seen Alice burst through the door Carlisle and I had used, apologising profusely for interrupting, but insisting that we had to leave.
Helping me down, Carlisle had held me close for a moment longer, placing a soft, tender kiss to my forehead and whispering in my ear that he meant every word. Before asking with a cheeky smirk, whether he had measured up to my high kissing standards. My response of "you'll do..with a little more practice." had caused him to throw his head back once more, in a deep, genuine peel of laughter that I could still hear to this day.
"One day Miss Esme...one day..." he had called after me.
I had thought it a line, until an almost hyperventilating Alice had exploded into my bedroom three months later, clutching a magazine containing an interview with the band, where when asked about what had inspired the song Carlisle had written for the band's new album. He had replied;
"A special girl I met, who I would have loved to have had the chance to get to know better. But sadly, duty called and I knew she deserved better than snatched moments between shows or recording sessions. She deserved someone who could be there all the time, to appreciate just how special she is. She deserved to be loved."
Alice and I had been waiting on the doorstep of the record store the day of the albums release, before returning to Alice's house which as always was empty, her mother out with her latest conquest, to listen.
"Laying here beside you, in a cloud of warmth,
Been awake all night but can't move, even though I know I should,
Counting curls in your hair, as you sleep so tight...
Wonder if you'll ever know how, you stimulate my life...
I don't know where I'm going to be going babe,
I never know, until I go...
Chances are you'll be there too some day...
I never know, lets hope...
I never want to let you go...
All I can do is hope...
That one day you'll be there...
After we had listened to the song for the third time, Alice, who had been sitting on her bed in her favoured Indian style position with her eyes closed, had looked down at where I was laying on the floor and calmly announced; "You and Carlisle are going to get married one day."
Whilst I had enjoyed the fantasy life that Alice had then gone on to create for Carlisle and I, I had never truly believed her, although I had never, been able to listen to that song without a soft smile twitching my lips, which Alice insisted that even now, I would touch lightly with my fingers every time I heard it.
It wasn't long however until my smile at the words, had become a sob of frustration. Carlisle's words, his touch, his kiss, had awakened in me a longing, a need, that was almost painful in its intensity. He had seen me, touched me, spoken to me as a man would talk to a woman, not as a little girl, he had given me a taste of the exciting, dangerous and intoxicating feelings that true intimacy could bring, before snatching it away. I had for the longest time, really thought my broken heart would never heal. A feeling that was made all the worse by what happened to Carlisle and the rest of the Heartbreakers over the following year.
The isolation and bitterness Carlisle had spoken to me about during our brief meeting had seemingly gotten worse, with both Edward and Carlisle, not only sniping at each other in interviews and openly trying to outdo each other in front of fans, but also defying their management to break the rules that had made them so successful. Edward had married Bella Swan, a dancer on two of their tours, breaking the hearts of the millions of girls who did find his looks and brooding intensity attractive, whilst Carlisle had began embracing to excess, the rock star life style. And whilst seeing Carlisle stumbling out of night clubs , a supermodel or the latest hot young actress draped all over him had hurt, my jealousy had turned to worry when I had seen the look of real pain and fear hidden behind his overly bright eyes and almost maniacal smile.
It had all culminated in the infamous 'lost' weekend, where Carlisle, who had started hanging out with what he had insisted on calling 'proper' musicians in the band's rare time off, had gone to a indie music festival, gotten horribly drunk and as he later admitted stoned. Before wandering on stage minus his famous floppy blonde locks, which had been shaved off leaving him with a brutal buzz cut and mooned the audience.
I, like millions of other girls up and down the country had been devastated when we woke on Monday morning to the news that Carlisle had been sacked from the band.
But despite the endless hours spent tearfully singing one of The Heart Breakers other big hits, a ballad called Why Can't I Wake Up With You, whilst wrapped in the leather jacket Carlisle had let me keep, all I could do was watch as Carlisle drifted into rehab and after one final tour as a four piece, The Heart Breakers split up.
"He's in so much pain Ali...you can see it in his face...his eyes..."I had sniffled one night during a sleep over at Alice's.
"I know he is darling, but there is nothing you can do to help him...for now...you and Carlisle WILL be together Es...trust me...I know these things..." she said with a wink "But not yet...he needs to live his life, make his huge, scary, very public mistakes...and you need to life your life...become the woman strong enough to love him and all his crazy shit..."
And eventually, as the all consuming grip of teenage hormones had begun to clear and 'real ' life had taken over, that's what I had begun to do. Don't get me wrong, I had followed Carlisle's eventual solo career with interest and intense pride as he became the most successful British male solo performer with eight consecutive number one singles, six consecutive number one albums, countless awards and sell out tours. But I made a conscious effort, to not allow myself to pay attention to the never ending gossip that surrounded him.
Something that became harder and harder as I had progressed in my chosen profession as a film maker and began moving albeit on the fringes, of the show business circles where Carlisle was still feted and ridiculed in equal measure. It had taken all my control, not to slam a well known supermodels face into the toilet seat she was snorting cocaine from, when I had heard her saying to a friend that she was only with Carlisle, because he was about to collaborate with a serious record producer she was desperate to get her claws into.
The only time I had broken my rule and spent the entire weekend frantically scouring the internet, newspapers, news channels and every contact I had ever made. Had been two years ago, when a mentally unstable HeartBreakers fan, who believed that the bands break up was entirely Carlisle's fault, had broken into his London home and attacked him. I had been a babbling, incoherent, sobbing mess when Alice who now co-owned her own jewellery store, had burst through my door what felt like mere seconds after I had called her. I had just been coming to terms with losing my mother after a short, but horribly painful illness and the thought of losing Carlisle, losing that memory, the fantasy however stupid, Alice had created, had been too much for me.
For hours, my incredible little pixie friend had let me rant, cry, plot terrible revenge on the woman who had hurt Carlisle, before finally wrapping me in a freakishly tight grip for one so small and forcing me to look into her beautiful elvin face and large, tired, but deadly serious eyes.
"You are NOT, going to lose him Esme...I promise you. I still see you as the first and ONLY, Mrs Carlisle Cullen...that bimbo he's with now is nothing.. she's his Marcus Turner..." she had sniggered. Of the three serious, long term relationships I had had in my life, Marcus Turner a respected news journalist and film maker had been the longest and I know realised biggest mistake. Whilst we had had some great times together and he had taught me a great deal about my craft and the politics of our industry, he had also, caused me to lose the real me. I had become terribly serious, worthy and as Alice had so succinctly put it; a boring, snobby bitch. " trust me..." she had said firmly.
And as she so often was, she had been right. About the not losing him part at least.
After a week in hospital, a horribly pale, but defiant Carlisle, had emerged to greet the huge throng of waiting fans and press. My face was almost stuck to the screen I was sitting so close to it, greedily drinking in every detail of his face, feeling my heart spasm painfully in my chest as I saw both the end of the ugly jagged knife scar that ran along the left side of his neck and the fear he was trying so damn hard to hide behind his bright smile and teasing quips that, although he knew his last album wasn't great, he hadn't thought it was that bad.
But despite his initial bravado over the incident, Carlisle became something of a recluse, going as far as to move to a large gated estate in a remote part of America, declaring that he no longer felt safe in England. For five years, he disappeared from the celebrity radar, only releasing, but not promoting, a Greatest Hits Album.
So the announcement on Wednesday April 11th 2010, I may have made a note of such a monumental date and time...that the Heart Breakers including Carlisle were planning to release a new album of material, had stunned the music and celebrity world. A later television documentary, which would garner record audiences for the station that ran it, would reveal that following Carlisle's attack, Emmett, Carlisle's closest friend in the band, had begun an intense campaign designed to reunite the Heart Breakers as friends, brothers, with any music that was produced being 'gravy' as he called it.
Carlisle had resisted fiercely at first, only relenting when Emmett, Jasper, Mike and later Edward had camped outside his home for a week, singing both old Heart Breakers tracks and his own solo material, in between chants of "We love you Carlisle We Do and There's Only One Carlisle Cullen"
"It was touch and go for a while, especially when the miserable git turned these jet like sprinklers on." Emmett had growled dramatically towards the camera.
"Don't forget the Dogs...huge, smelly wolf like things..." Edward had sighed.
"I thought they were kinda cute..." Mike had laughed.
"Yeah, they really did only seem to have a problem with you..." Jasper had teased Edward, earning himself a chilling stare which had Alice, me and according to reviews the following day, "the entire audience sat on the edge of their seat, as they expected a typical Masen burst of surly temper".
It hadn't come. Instead, Edward had thrown his head back and laughed, a genuine laugh of amusement as he had launched a cushion at Jasper and announced;
"Well, I had my voodoo dolls of him. Guess it's only fair he trained his dogs to slobber on me on sight." He said finally with a dramatic sigh.
"Voodoo dolls, so that explains the sharp, stabbing pain in the arse I was forever getting." Carlisle had remarked as he had emerged from another part of the studio to join the boys on two large sofas.
"It seemed the most appropriate place, when I ran out of room in your back." Edward replied, grimacing as Carlisle had playfully ruffled his shorter, but still crazy, slightly greying copper hair as he took his seat.
"Aaaaand breathe..." Alice had chuckled, gazing up at me from her position sprawled across my lounge floor. She had arrived two hours before the interview armed with a ridiculously large bag of sweets, soda, wine and replica's of the pyjama's we had worn as young girls.
"Might as well do it properly" she announced with a wink. The reunion seemed to have come at the perfect time for Alice, who was still getting over a bitter break up with a complete arsehole called Lance.
I had chuckled, but not taken my eyes from the screen, as Carlisle, looking tanned and fit, his blonde locks shorter than I remembered, but still able to make my fingers twitch with the desire to run through them. I had anxiously scanned his face, which now had a rugged sexiness instead of a boyish cuteness, for signs of stress, and whilst there was a slight understandable nervousness, all I could see in those beautiful blue eyes, was genuine happiness and peace. Especially when Emmett had playfully draped a huge arm around his shoulders and said;
"Welcome home Carlisle"
It wasn't until the end credits, that I noticed it was an old friend from film school Rene Dwyer who had produced the documentary. It was shameless, especially since we hadn't seen or spoken to each other in months, but the following day, I had dug out her cell number and email address.
"You know Es...of all the old friends that have suddenly found my number, you're the only one I'm actually glad to hear from." Renee had announced as she observed me over the remnants of an Italian meal and a bottle of wine the following week.
I had opened my mouth to try and justify my embarrassing lack of contact and the rather obvious timing of my call, but Renee had held up a hand.
"Babe...I have seen that you have been working your bollocks off this last year, producing some bloody brilliant stuff. That piece you did for Channel 4 on young carers broke my heart...and if anyone deserves to get the gossip on these guys, it's you."
I hadn't realised I was blushing until she began to laugh and reached forward to squeeze my hand.
"Honey, you and Carlisle had a moment teenage girls dreams are made of, and if the demented pixie is to be believed you will have many more...yes she told me...and Es...he is ok I promise you. He's not a hundred percent, you can still see his nerves, but the other boys...even Edward...they are really looking after him. It is actually incredibly sweet to see. It's also incredible to see the added edge, the energy he gives them. I mean, Emmett, Edward and Mike are all pushing forty and father's..you wouldn't believe it..they were so relaxed, happy...really pumped for making new music...the new tour..."
"Tour..." I had squeaked.
"That's the plan babe...and that my love, is why I'm glad you got in touch. They wanted me to shoot the rehearsals and tour for a DVD, but I can't... I have a prior engagement in Dafur with George Clooney..." she had chuckled. "You want the job? It needs a real fan...this is a big...emotional moment not just for Carlisle, but the fans as well...fans like you..."
"Alice...I feel sick...what if I act like a total idiot?" I had sighed, all excitement and desire having suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced by a genuinely sickening, nervous fear.
Renee and Alice's enthusiasm, plus the creative challenge being offered to me, had carried me through the three weeks that elapsed from Renee offering me the job, and my first meeting with the band. But now...
"Psssht...you're always like this before a job starts...and you are always fine...and in this case, you'll be even better..." Alice had said dismissively.
"ALICE, it's been fifteen fucking years, another lifetime..." I snapped.
"Exactly, another life time, for the two of you to make your mistakes, be the people you need to be...it's time Esme..."
"Renee...I'm not sure I can do this..." I had begun to stammer two hours later, as I trotted after Renee into a large, empty air plane hangar in the middle of the English countryside. It was full of large pieces of what looked like set and a stage, complete with microphone stands, steps and screens behind which, groups of dancers where changing or preparing to take to the stage on the order of Bella Swan Masen, Edward's wife and Captain of the dance team.
Before a slightly pissed off looking Renee could answer me, a familiar voice answered from behind me.
"I say that every damn morning."
Spinning round, I found myself staring into a familiar pair of fathomless blue eyes.
"Hiya Carlisle, this nervous nelly is..."
"I know exactly who this is Renee...it may have been a good few years since we've seen each other...and I may not be able to remember what I was doing for the most of the nineties...but Miss Esme Platt...I remember very well." He had replied quietly, his tone velvety soft but with a slightly rough edge that caused the hand I was offering towards him, to tremble violently.
"I would offer you my jacket to keep you warm...but it seems you're already wearing it..." Carlisle had said with a soft chuckle as he took my hand in his, his eyes never leaving mine.
"You remember..." I had whispered. "You really remember?"
I couldn't help the curious and slightly harsh question in my tone. I wasn't sure I could cope if he was playing with me. I had thought that wearing the jacket Carlisle had let me keep all those years ago would be too much, but Alice had insisted it would complete my casual outfit of jeans and a slightly off the shoulder sweater perfectly. Stepping forward, seemingly oblivious to Renee, the technical crews that were running around and the rest of the band who had stopped what they were doing around the nearby piano, Carlisle had placed his lips close by my ear and began to croon softly, the words to "my" song;
I don't know where I'm going to be going babe,
I never know, until I go...
Chances are you'll be there too some day...
I never know, lets hope...
I never want to let you go...
All I can do is hope...
That one day you'll be there...
"I meant what I said all those years ago Esme..." he had said.
And over the following few weeks, Carlisle had proven his words. When he wasn't rehearsing and I wasn't shooting footage or editing, we were together, talking, laughing...waking up together...
I had watched the rehearsals both technical and musical what felt like a million times, listened as Carlisle had run through possible ideas for his between song banter with the crowd, coming up with a mixture of lines that showed both his famous cheeky humour and cocky sexiness. But nothing, could have prepared me for the moment the pre recorded footage of Carlisle's face, a sexy smirk twisting his lips, appeared on the large screens in the centre of the stage. The crowd who had already been whipped into an excitable frenzy by the four piece Heartbreakers set, exploded into an almost frighteningly loud roar of excitement.
I could feel the deep, throbbing bass of Jake themusical director's guitar pulsing in my chest such was the level of the amps needed to make sure everyone in this cavernous space could hear it. But that was not what was causing my heart to pound painfully hard against my ribs.
"What if I've been away too long Es, what if I've lost it, whatever the hell it is, TV performances and albums are one thing, you fuck up there you can do it again. There's nowhere to hide on a stage that big, in front of a crowd, who are looking to you, to entertain them, make them for a couple of hours, forget all the shot in their lives, to make them feel young again. What if I can't..?
The look of almost childlike fear and desperation in his eyes last night as he had paced our lounge, his hands pulling violently at his hair had made me want to bundle him into the car and get us on the first plane back to Forks. It had taken almost five years, for the loving, kind, caring, funny man I had married, to finally lay to rest at least some of the demons that had haunted him for so long. Did he really need to put himself back into a situation where all that hard work could be shattered once more? As much as I wanted to say no, to protect him, I knew that the true answer was yes, because in his heart, in his bones, Carlisle Cullen was a performer, a man who had been blessed with a gift to do as he had said and make people forget, if only for a short time, the hard daily grind of their lives.
And as terrifying as he found the thought of stepping back on the stage after so long, I knew that there was a huge part of him, that loved what he did, who needed ,the buzz that could be found from performing in front of a crowd like this one. Because as much as I loved him and I did, with an almost frightening intensity, Carlisle needed the love and adoration that was already crashing towards the stage in a surge of hysterical screams and waving arms, at just the sight of his face. And he knew it too...getting over his wobble as Emmett called it, pretty quickly.
If I thought it was impossible for the crowd to become any louder, I was wrong. When as rehearsed, Carlisle burst through the large screen suspended on wires, before landing lithely on his feet and standing in a classic arrogant rock star pose before the hysterical crowd.
Strutting down the stairs, motioning to the crowd with his hands that he couldn't quite hear them, Carlisle took his place before the microphone;
"HELL IS GONE AND HEAVEN'S HERE, THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU TO FEAR, SHAKE YOUR ASS COME OVER HERE, NOW...SCREAM..."
I wasn't sure if it was the reaction from the crowd who gladly did as instructed, or from the girls Bella and Rose standing behind me, girls who had seen Carlisle both at his worst and his best and still adored him, that made me jump most in surprise.
"Sorry Es, but this Carlisle, Carlisle the showman he is as HOT as hell..." Rose, Emmett's wife and a well respected singer in her own right, shouted in my ear with an apologetic smile on her face.
It was ridiculous, and I had hated myself for being so childish, but after one rehearsal for the show where the boys had been working with some of the dancers on a fast, sexy number, I had felt myself becoming more and more jealous of how much Carlisle seemed to be enjoying himself with a dancer named Irina. Finally, as the music began to reach a crescendo and the dance routine became even hotter, I had had to step outside for a cigarette to calm my shaking hands.
"God, I wish I could have one of those..."
I had turned, to see Carlisle leaning against the door frame of the fire door I had escaped down, his breathing was still coming in rough pants and his t-shirt was moulded to his chest by the sweat slicking his body. It was an image that only seemed to fuel my jealousy.
"Well they do say that dancing, especially like that, is the vertical version of fucking, I'm sure Irina will be thrilled to know she was that good."
For a second, Carlisle had staggered back looking as if I had slapped him, but then his shock had given way to understanding. But instead of any placating loving looks and words, Carlisle had stalked towards me, his blue eyes flashing hard and dark in his flushed face. Grabbing my hand, he had spun me round so that I had been pressed against the brick wall behind the door, before taking the cigarette that had been hanging limply between my fingers, and taking a deep drag. Tossing it aside, he had then proceeded to secure both my hands in one of his large ones and raise them above my head, allowing him to press the full length of his body against my own.
"You should know by now Es, I am very...very...fussy...who...I...fuck..." he had growled lowly in my ear. I still wasn't sure if my sudden desire to try and wrench my hands from his grasp, was out of a need to try and break my fall as my weak knees gave way, or an almost painful need to touch him.
"I know...I'm sorry..." I had breathed, blinking furiously in a vain attempt to try and hide the angry tears I could feel threatening to fall. Preparing for the tour, had meant weeks in training boot camp to get them all in the best physical shape, weeks spent trying to decide set lists, choreographing new routines, dealing with sponsers and technical crews. And whilst I had been there to film a lot of it, there were parts that the band wanted to keep private and I had to return to London on several occasions, to deal with my other projects. It was the first time since we had been together, that we had spent any significant time apart. And as welcoming and supportive as the other wives had been, I was lonely, missing my husband, my Carlisle.
"Baby, look at me...Es...please darling...look at me." He had rasped, his tone softening and taking on the far more pronounced English accent he had stopped trying to hide.
I had turned my head, to see his hypnotic blue eyes full of understanding and love, but also a little fear.
"Darlin...when I'm up there on stage, in front of the crowds...I'm not your Carlisle...shit, that sounds awful...I am always your Carlisle...but up there...to perform...to not freak the fuck out at seeing 80,000 screaming people staring back at me...I have to be...I have to be...their Carlisle...the joker, the arrogant, strutting..."
"Sex god..." I had offered quietly. Carlisle's answering bark of embarrassed laughter had echoed noisily around the small service bay.
"If you like...but I thought you understood, that it's all pretend...an act, that the only one I am ever interested in turning on...or fucking...is...you..." he had said, his tone taking on a sexy rasping timbre once more as he rolled his hips just enough against me, to have me gasping.
"I...do...I do..." I had moaned my head falling forwards as he teased me once more with a harder roll of his hips and a playful nipping kiss to the sensitive skin behind my ear. "I...I've just...I've missed you...it's the first time we've been apart for so long..." I had babbled.
"Oh babe..." Carlisle sighed as he pulled back and let go of my arms so he had both hands free to cup my face. "I know and god, I've missed you as well...so damn much..." he sighed as he rested his forehead against my own. "But a show this size, this epic, we have no choice but to plan and rehearse the shit out of it. There are so many things that can go wrong, not least our dodgy backs and knees...cause we ain't getting any younger you know.. ..." he had chuckled softly.
"Aww, poor baby..." I had said reaching up to run my hands through his hair, as he settled himself between my legs and allowed his hands to slide down my sides to rest on my back side. " Maybe I could give you a massage...work out a few of those kinks...those niggling little aches..." I had began to purr, only to find the rest of words cut off by Carlisle's mouth as he roughly claimed me in a deep, passionate and almost desperately needy kiss.
"I love you...and I want you...only...you...always..." he had groaned against my neck, when we had been forced to break apart for air.
"I know..." I had squeaked as Carlisle had lifted one of my legs and wrapped it round his hip, bringing me into closer contact with the evidence that backed up his last statement. My head had fallen back against the wall with a soft thud as my body, seemingly moving of its own accord, arched towards his roaming, teasing hands.
"CARLISLE? Where the fuck, have you skived off too you lazy..." Emmett's loud booming voice, echoed noisily round the small bay, causing Carlisle and I to spring apart like two guilty teenagers when alerted by our curses, Emmett stuck his head round the door we had been standing behind.
"Carlisle! This isn't the Hammersmith Apollo in 1994 you know...this place has cameras...lots and lots of cameras...run by a very nice lady who always liked me best." Emmett had chuckled evily.
"Is that right? I wonder how much she'll like you when I rearrange those dimples of yours." Carlisle had growled as he gave me a brief kiss and took off running after a bellowing Emmett.
"I'M A BURNING EFFIGY, OF EVERYTHING I USED TO BE...'ELLO LONDON, REMEMBER ME?" Carlisle roared into the microphone, before ripping it from the stand and running from one side of the stage to the other, to ensure that as many of the now hysterical fans could see him, and that he was picked up by the cameras that were filming events to replay on the giant screens that sat on either side of the stage.
"Let me entertain you...Let me entertain you..." Jake Black and his incredible band of musicians who had been The Heart Breakers musical team back in the day, crooned into their mikes.
"LIFE'S TOO SHORT FOR YOU TO DIE, SO GRAB YOURSELF AN ALIBI, HEAVEN KNOWS YOUR MOTHER LIED MON CHERE...SEPERATE YOU RIGHT FROM WRONG...I CAN'T HEAR YOU LONDON!" Carlisle screamed, earning a response that I was convinced could be heard for miles around.
"LOOK ME UP IN THE YELLOW PAGES, I WILL BE YOUR R ROCK OF AGES, SEE THROUGH FADS AND YOUR CRAZY PHASES YEAH...LITTLE BOW PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP, POPPED A PILL AND FELL ASLEEP, THE DEW IS WET, BUT THE GRASS IS SWEET MY DEAR..." Carlisle sneered into the microphone as he came skidding to a halt back in the centre of the stage.
" GOOD EVENING LONDON...HOW ARE YOU FEELING TONIGHT?" Carlisle demanded earning a response that told him and me, that the crowd were now well on the way to having the most amazing night they'd had in a long time.
"MAYBE I SHOULD RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF...MY NAME...IS ...CARLISLE...FUCKING...CULLEN!
"Yes it is..."
Even in a whisper, Emmett's voice was loud as it echoed in my ringing ears. Turning I found Emmett clad in the long black cloaks the band were to wear for their set with Carlisle, staring up at the stage, his friendly, open, sweet face, bathed in the proudest, most loving smile I had ever seen, as he watched Carlisle work the stage.
Of all the things Carlisle had missed about being in the band, the main one he had told me, was his relationship with Emmett. Despite his intimidating size, Emmett was one of the sweetest, kindest, crazy men you'd ever meet and he and Carlisle had formed an intense bond, from almost the moment they met. As well as sharing a wicked sense of humour, Carlisle and Emmett had found in each other, the older and younger brothers that they had both wanted. And that trust and natural affection, had translated in a stage chemistry that the audience had loved. Noticing me staring, Emmett gave me a wink and draped a large, sweaty arm across my shoulder, pulling me into his side.
"I can't tell you...I mean...I honestly thought I would never see this moment again. As much as I'm fucking ecstatic that C is back with the whole band, to see him up there, working a crowd in a way that none of us could alone..."
"Aye... cocky little git is back to his show stealing best by the looks of things..." Jasper said as he emerged through the curtain behind us and came to stand on my other side. I hadn't realised that my surprise and defensive anger at his words, was showing quite so clearly on my face, until Jasper held up his hands in a defensive pose. "And I wouldn't want him any, other way, believe me...christ on a bike, maybe we should have had you on security, rather than taking pictures Es, cause I seriously wouldn't want to mess with you..." he said with a slightly nervous laugh.
" But I love Esme's photos...even if the black and white does show up all my grey hair..." Edward grumbled as he emerged through the curtain and immediately wrapped an arm around Bella, the Captain of the team of dancers in the show and his wife of almost a decade.
"Awww, you'll always be my favourite Heart Breaker baby. Bella cooed as she kissed him noisily on the cheek, leaving a huge dark red lipstick mark, and hurried towards the stairs at the side of the stage, to join the other dancers that would be needed for Carlisle's next number. Edward's eyes never left leather hot pant clad ass, or endless legs the entire trip. It was so sweet to see, just how much they still adored and desired each other after all this time and everything they had been through in their own relationship, which had begun when Bella had been one of the dancers in the last Heart Breaker tour before Carlisle was sacked.
Suddenly aware of my presense, Edward turned and treated me to the 'dazzling' smile, that still had the power to render women of all ages speechless.
"Jasper's right you know. This..." he said motioning toward the stage "Is what we have all... wanted for Carlisle Esme. To see him back on the stage doing what he does...and..to see him with a woman that loves the real him...even if...that woman has inspired him to write, a song I would have killed to have come up with." Edward growled, earning a chuckle from Rose and Emmett.
"She hasn't heard it yet." Rose said in answer to Edward's curious face.
"I think, you'll need these." Mike said with a smile, handing me a wad of tissues.
"This boys and girls...is a new song. One that I hope you will enjoy, as it means a great deal to me. I look on it as a prayer to those special guiding forces we have all had in our lives, that are sadly no longer with us. And I also see it as my humble way, of trying to thank an incredibly special person who God has seen fit to send back into my life." Carlisle announced.
I listened in stunned silence, as Carlisle began to sing one of the most beautiful songs I had ever heard. His voice soft, sweet and passionate all at once. I had could not believe he had written me another song, this time using my newly acquired nickname of Angel. The crowd was already loving it, joining in with the chorus as best they could, but as he came to the third verse, Carlisle walked across the side of the stage, ostensibly to sing to the crowds there, but his eyes with almost lazer like intensity sought me out amongst the crowd of people in the wings.
And through it all, she offers me protection.
A lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong.
And down the waterfall wherever it might take me...
I know that life won't break me...
When I come to call...
She won't forsake me...
It was on that line as our eyes met, that we both broke a little with emotion.
"I told you" Mike sang teasingly, but with genuine fondness as he held out his hand towards Rose, who slapped some kind of bill into it.
"I'm loving Angel instead".
I was still in shock as the song came to an end and Carlisle began to lighten the mood, by singing small snatches of other artists songs. His rendition of Destiny's Child's Bootylicious, complete with dance moves had the crowd roaring with laughter. But it was his quick burst of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream that caught my attention and had me singing at the top of my voice;
You make me feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream...
The way you turn me on...
I can't sleep
Let's runaway...
And don't ever look back..
Don't ever look back...
My heart stops when you look at me...
Just one touch...
Now baby I believe this is real...
So take a chance
And never look back...