Chapter 1: Should I Bring Him Down?

It was another late night in that tent in the middle of the woods. Only the crickets could be heard making any noise as Hermione Granger raised her head from the book she was reading. She glanced at her watch. It shouldn't have surprised her anymore how she could get lost in a book and lose all track of time. She and Harry should have traded off on watch duty over an hour ago. And yet he still hadn't come in. Slowly, she rose from the table bench and went outside to look for her best friend.

She found him passed out in the little fold-up chair just outside the flap. Wordlessly, she awoke him as she heaved him to his feet and staggered him over to the bunk.

"Ginny... Riddle... I open at the close..." Harry was slurring, still half-asleep.

"Ssh. Enough. Go to sleep, Harry. Let the world turn without you tonight..." Hermione helped him into the low bunk, where he promptly fell dead to the world again.

She watched him from her bunk across the tent. She had never admitted this to anyone, but Harry looked quite handsome when he slept. In spite of everything, she felt he had aged well out of the little boy she had once known. Stubble clung to his cheek, more peppery than, and not nearly as luscious as -

She felt a sharp stab of pain, but the name appeared in her head too late. Ron. Three weeks, it had been. Three weeks since the love of her life had walked out on her, possibly forever. Leaving her to look after another piece of her broken heart - that other piece which now slumbered in the bed across from her.

To say that Hermione hadn't been tempted would be a lie. In these three weeks of close to literally frozen-over hell, the thought had occurred to her. At first, the potential had disgusted her - Harry was like her big brother. But with the way they had barely been speaking to each other, naturally a burgeoning closeness that was unspoken had been required. They were physically inseparable, but emotionally isolated. Emotionally isolated from their significant others. Harry couldn't hide from her that he had been watching Ginny's dot on the Marauder's Map. They were lonely, and Hermione and Harry both knew it.

And then... that night that they had danced... for a moment, forgetting their troubles... It could very well have happened then. Not because either of them particularly wanted to do it (the thought of being unfaithful to Ron, dishonoring Ron, even now, made her squirm just a little - never mind that there was Ginny to think about) but because both she and Harry were starved for human closeness. Perhaps he could imagine she was Ginny, and she could imagine he was Ron...

But no. Forget that he felt like her big brother, he was also a hero. Their last hope. In the years she had known him, Hermione had always felt that there was something about Harry that was not of this world. A part of it frightened her - he scares me so... Call it his death-defying abilities, or his brave solemnity, but he seemed like... almost like a Christ-like figure. Which just made the temptation all the more tantalizing.

I don't know how to love him. What to do, how to move him. I've been changed - yes, really changed. In these past few days, when I see myself, I seem like someone else. I don't know how to take this. I don't see why he moves me. He's a man... he's just a man. And I've had so many men before, in very many ways - he's just one more.

Yes, she had snogged Viktor Krum - a schoolgirl's fantasy come to life. And she had dragged that pathetic Cormac McLaggen around like a puppy on a chain, but more to piss off Ron than anything else. But Harry - she genuinely felt something for Harry that was as strong as what she still felt for Ron. She had always been certain that it was familial love, but... was it something else? Even if it was, the timing could not be worse. Harry couldn't be distracted - so much weighed heavily on his mind. So much rested on his shoulders.

Should I bring him down? Should I scream and shout? Should I speak of love? Let my feelings out? I never thought I'd come to this! What's it all about?

Despairing, Hermione fell back onto her cot, and fell asleep.