A PUBLIC SERVACE MESSAGE FROM COUNT DRACULA
Hello, peasants. This is your count. As you know, I walk the streets nightly
in search of the blood of virgins. I have done this for decades-
Let me put it this way: I've been in charge longer than Castro. But times change.
True, I don't keep a close watch on them, being immortal and all, but times change nevertheless.
Which is why I bring you this message:
I live on top of a mountain, coming down only to drink blood.
You live in the village, coming up only to kill me periodically.
We are all living ion the middle of a somewhat hazardous Balkains region
which doesn't get much business these days.
It is my shagrin to admit to the leader of Romaina this fact, but Arthur Anderson has finally decided to cut it losses and come clean about its worldly workings.
Damn them.
And thus, peasants, you may be wondering, 'Is my Count a crook?'
I wish to assure all of you that your Count is not a crook.
I also dare you to find witnesses.
But, and I say this with deepest remorse, because I say it with my special W-exabling mouth gear,
We must start holding political elections.
It is becoming increasingly clear with every passing bomb threat that you are not satisfied with my government.
The stakes, the silver, the garlic, the Oxy-clean; they all say that you desire a new count.
I can't immagine why.
I have been just, I have been fair, no-one felt a thing, I actually dragged one yoeman back to the castle and bit him there while monitering brain function,
But still.
I will quote one message left on my table having sailed through the window:
DRURY BRICK CO.
Therefore, special polling devices were obtained posthaste from Miami-Daide County along with the instructions how to operate them.
If anyone watching this can understand Korean, please call the number at the end of this bulletin.
The polls will be open tonight, starting at Seven, and ending at daybreak.
If you do not physically turn out, it will be assumed you have voted for me.
If you do indeed wish to cme the polls are at the other end of Dracul Woods,
which are poorly lit and even more poorly gaurded. Just find the path and right-angle away from it into deepest, blackest bits, and you're there.
So this is Vlad Dracul, saying 'To hell with the mouth gear, I vish you all a happy polling excursion, MUAH, MUAHAH, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'
Goodnight, Transylvania
Hello, peasants. This is your count. As you know, I walk the streets nightly
in search of the blood of virgins. I have done this for decades-
Let me put it this way: I've been in charge longer than Castro. But times change.
True, I don't keep a close watch on them, being immortal and all, but times change nevertheless.
Which is why I bring you this message:
I live on top of a mountain, coming down only to drink blood.
You live in the village, coming up only to kill me periodically.
We are all living ion the middle of a somewhat hazardous Balkains region
which doesn't get much business these days.
It is my shagrin to admit to the leader of Romaina this fact, but Arthur Anderson has finally decided to cut it losses and come clean about its worldly workings.
Damn them.
And thus, peasants, you may be wondering, 'Is my Count a crook?'
I wish to assure all of you that your Count is not a crook.
I also dare you to find witnesses.
But, and I say this with deepest remorse, because I say it with my special W-exabling mouth gear,
We must start holding political elections.
It is becoming increasingly clear with every passing bomb threat that you are not satisfied with my government.
The stakes, the silver, the garlic, the Oxy-clean; they all say that you desire a new count.
I can't immagine why.
I have been just, I have been fair, no-one felt a thing, I actually dragged one yoeman back to the castle and bit him there while monitering brain function,
But still.
I will quote one message left on my table having sailed through the window:
DRURY BRICK CO.
Therefore, special polling devices were obtained posthaste from Miami-Daide County along with the instructions how to operate them.
If anyone watching this can understand Korean, please call the number at the end of this bulletin.
The polls will be open tonight, starting at Seven, and ending at daybreak.
If you do not physically turn out, it will be assumed you have voted for me.
If you do indeed wish to cme the polls are at the other end of Dracul Woods,
which are poorly lit and even more poorly gaurded. Just find the path and right-angle away from it into deepest, blackest bits, and you're there.
So this is Vlad Dracul, saying 'To hell with the mouth gear, I vish you all a happy polling excursion, MUAH, MUAHAH, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!'
Goodnight, Transylvania