Her One and Only Wish
Perhaps You Can Call It Her Last Selfishness
She knows that she's going to die. She accepted the fact long ago and she already stopped mopping around for years already. Now lying on her bed arms spread wide she wondered what make her awake tonight.
Loneliness huh?
Yesterday was the same too.
She was wide awake thinking about loneliness yesterday and now today it's seems that she's going to stay up awake for the same reason it seems. As if she's protecting herself from the loneliness, she curled up on the bed in a fetal position, her hand on her stomach, shielding her unborn child from it too.
If the situation is different, maybe she would probably be worried on the approaching fact that she's going to become a mother. Nevertheless, knowing the fact that she would never even have the chance to see her own child, she knows that she perhaps didn't even have the right to think about it.
Silently, she got up from her bed before putting up her winter clothing over her night dress. With years of practice, she made her way through her long staircase towards the secret passage to the nearest village. She walked for an hour before arriving to the small village that now cloak with silent and blinding white snow. The coldness seep passed her dress that she pulled her shawl tighter around her, trying her best to keep herself warm. Her hand automatically moved to her midsection when she heard sound of a child crying cutting through the silent night.
Curious, she moved towards the direction of the crying came from. Through the window, she could see a mother picking up her child, hugging her precious child, soothing the child from his nightmare.
The scene before her somehow scared her that she found herself running back towards her tower. She ran all the way back, never once looking back. Panting as she reached her bed, she collapsed on it. And the moment her panting eased, she broke down sobbing. It had been years since she last cried but that night, she cried her heart out when she realized that she would never, never will had the chance to do what that mother did to her own child.
She cried until her voice became hoarse and her eyes swollen. She cried for her child and she cried for herself for she finally realized that she didn't want to die. She could take all the loneliness in the world for all she cares. She just wants to have what that mother has. She just wants to have the chance to become a mother.
The moment the sun raises, she washed her face and combed her hair before she grabbed her black bunny doll. She's going to gave The Nucleus of Abyss a visit. Perhaps, The Nucleus of Abyss would take care of her child in her place. That would be her one and only wish. Or perhaps you could call it her last selfishness. A selfishness of a mother has for her child that she would never get the chance to hold and cherish.
"I will disappear but if you should find this child of mine please try to be friends."
Hopefully, her child wouldn't be lonely there without a mother.
And hopefully, it would be enough for her child.