A/n: Man I had the worst name ideas and I couldn't figure out which one to pick...so I ended up with this one...why? The song kind of fits it. (You'll find all my titles are songs that go with the story) Weeee. Sorry to HellGate I know I messaged you saying I would post it up like 5 days ago and I really ment to but my brother kicked me off before I could finish it and upload it. Then there's been computer problems so it's been a load of trouble.
Anyway this is my first attempt at a oneshot I hope it's okay...Critique and comments are all welcome. This is based on the idea that Emiko refused to go with Sasuke. The other oneshot sequel will be if she did.
enjoy-shyshi
"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."-Sydney J. Harris
Raindrops danced on the rooftop, soft taps echoing like a bittersweet lullaby through the silent house. Soft rivers flowed down the window panes in a spectrum of damp colors as the rain beat against the house. Shadows clouded each window of the house, no signs of life in the deserted home.
The grounds were unkempt, grass growing in uneven tufts over the summer lawn. Every addition to the house: the pool, tennis court, hot tub and expansive grounds seemed to be forgotten, written in pages long lost through time. Grime and neglect covered each, even the house as cobwebs and stain covered it's once pristine features.
Judging the place it seemed as though the owners had left without a glance back, no one dared try to sell it though. Every time it was put on the market the realtor would quit, stammering about how the house wouldn't be bought anyway and refusing to explain any further.
A door creaked, the sound barely audible against the berating of the rain against the house. A silhouette passed through the halls, a meager halo of light following before its path. Stepping into another room the person stopped, a hand resting against the wall as the light flickered against their form.
Raising her head her eyes skimmed over the room, resting on the heavy volumes neatly stored in the bookshelves lining the room. An empty fireplace stared back at her as she watched it, wondering if she would dare. Ashes of cardboard boxes and papers still lay scattered over the hearth like a mute gray dress.
Closing the door with a soft click behind her she set down her candle, staring at the flame for a moment before she walked to the fireplace. A pale hand skimmed over the mantle, her eyes closed as she revisited memories like old friends.
Emiko sighed, a sense of nostalgia over coming her as she listened to the silence of the house. It had been months since she'd last come, after he'd left she came every once in a while to escape or simply to think, to smile and to remember. It was her scrapbook to everything she had grown to hold dear.
Memories of her friends, of him and even of her enemies. It was hard to find such strong memories in the present. Sakura and Ino had hardly been themselves since he'd left, Sakura even more so since he'd broken her heart that night, shattering the pieces without a second thought.
Naruto had left on a kind of learning experience with a well known business man he'd met, hopeful to climb his way to success however he could. Before he'd left he'd promised Sakura that he would become powerful and find him. Bring him back to her.
They hadn't known what had gone on the night he left, Emiko didn't have the heart to tell them, too insecure of her place in their hearts and too frightened to lose them. Even now they knew nothing. Suspicion wasn't even cast though as she'd retained her normal care-free, happy, temperamental self pushing out the pieces of the person they knew. It was a kind of comfort for them to see that someone was the same and she couldn't find it in her to take that away from them.
Still she visited the house occasionally. Her last visit had been months ago though, when she'd finally decided to put the books back in the bookshelves. To her it was a small achievement, sorting through the writings as she set things back where they should be. Still she knew that it was foolish, to put them back only to gather dust on the shelves rather than in boxes.
Emiko blinked, her throat tightening as she relived the past, too attached and desperate for the relief it brought her to move on. Her eyes stung as she stroked the books like a long lost love of hers. It was wrong, she knew that, but the memories were like her drug, the house like her syringe and her heart playing the role of the addict for the emotions. Tears sprung into her eyes as she stared around the room.
'Emiko get a hold of yourself!' A side reprimanded weakly and she nodded more confidently than she felt. She should move on and finally lock the door to this house, sealing away the feelings and stepping away with a new outlook to the world before her.
It wasn't that easy though…was it? To just lock away the feelings and memoirs she felt every time she thought of him. For others it always seemed to be that easy or maybe they hid it just as well as she did, lying to everyone as they continued their own secret thoughts of what ifs and why nots.
Regret. She sighed, smiling faintly and rolling her eyes at her own thoughts. That's what it came down to: regret. That burning black fire that seemed to smoke out her thoughts to leave her mind as a ruin drowned in memories. She regretted not stopping him. She regretted not following him. She regretted running away. She regretted lying to her friends. She regretted ever choosing to pretend she didn't care for him. She regretted everything that seemed to follow that night.
Of course she couldn't say that honestly, she had lived after he'd left. She'd curled up laughing hysterically, smiled honestly, joked with friends, found success, graduated from her high school and even beat Toya into a considerable mess. No, it was only those silent moments, when the world seems to walk out the front door leaving you with only your shadows. It was then the thoughts rushed in like an unwelcome tidal wave.
Stepping away she strode back to the light, picking up the candle as she walked out of the room. With another small click the door shut behind her, a low sigh escaping her lips as her head dropped, a small smile on her face.
'No time better than now,' the rain outside had softened to a small melody of taps. The sound was relaxing as she closed her eyes, resting against the door. 'To forget.'
"What are you doing here?" Her legs fell from beneath her and she crashed to the floor with a loud yelp. Heart hammering painfully against her chest she opened an eye to see her candle light disappear small wisps of smoke rising like snakes into the air. Dragging her eyes upward her lungs stopped while her heart beat even harder against her ribcage.
"Stop gaping. You look like an idiot." There stood Sasuke Uchiha, older and matured but still with the same heavy dark eyes. His arms were crossed as he stared down at the girl who'd fallen so gracefully to the ground.
"I-Wh-B-Yo-" Words fumbled through her mouth before she forced a response. "Shut up Sasuke." A smirk crept onto his features as he watched her stand, forcing hair from her eyes as she tried to wrap her thoughts around the scene. Sasuke was here? 'But…' Too many questions prayed to be answered as she stared at him, dumbstruck and confused once again.
"I-W-what are you doing here?" Emiko avoided his question, her heart throbbing painfully as she studied him. It was the same boy she knew, the same eyes and the same familiar comfort as she felt his gaze bear into her.
"An informant told me an intruder was at my house." He replied monotonously.
Pausing Emiko reached out, her fingers trailing to a lock of his hair, her expression showing shock as she realized he was real. When he didn't move Emiko stared at him, her fingers trailing down the side of his face as though he was made of glass.
Slap! Shadows obscured Sasuke's turned face, a faint red mark on his cheek as Emiko stepped away a sense of angered satisfaction in her eyes.
"Jerk." She muttered, scooping up her candle. Inhaling weakly she refused to look at him, knowing that her anger would crumble before him as it always had. And she needed to end angry, it would be her key in that lock, letting the resentment rust over the hinges as she would leave the past behind. His stare beat into her as she struggled to focus on the candle grasped in her hand. Desperate to escape the urge to look at him she strode away quickly, her eyes closing as she pushed away her thoughts.
Unfortunately it wasn't a smart move as she was feigning blindness. Taking a step down the hall, her hand gliding over the wall beside her, she felt her stomach drop as she tripped over stairs and stumbled forward effectively cursing as she fell to the ground. Luckily it had only been a collection of three steps so she was only a little worse for wear. Sitting up she groaned, embarrassed and angered as she rubbed her now throbbing head.
"Klutz." Emiko shot up, blinking away small dots as she saw Sasuke standing calmly, arms crossed, in the hallway. Somehow he had gotten in front of her and was now in a sense blocking her path.
'Crap.' Emiko almost muttered as she averted her gaze, trying to shove away the embarrassment still rising to her face as she stared at the fascinating door leading to the outside, just a few feet away from her grasp and currently blocked by the true owner of the house.
"Go away Sasuke." She instead replied as she stared at the door, resolving to not even glance at him. 'God damn him and his ability to show up at the perfect times.' She thought, the sour twinge in her thoughts covering the small bubble of happiness she felt at seeing him.
"It's my house. I don't have to." Sasuke replied causing Emiko to groan.
"Fine. I'll leave." She scowled at the boy and stepped to one side as she passed him, trying to knock his shoulder to express her childish anger. Sadly he seemed much stronger and more prepared as she ended up rubbing her own shoulder, muttering curses quietly.
"Where's the dobe?" Emiko stopped, the inches seperating her outstretched hand from the door mutilating to miles.
"He's off looking for you." Whispered the teenage girl, her eyes bearing holes into the door as she fought with herself, each thought snipping the fragile strings of resolve. 'Don't...' she ordered herself, her hand quivering, suspended in the air as she tried to force her body out the door.
Sasuke scoffed behind her and a small resemblance of a sad smile traced her lips, images of him smirking entering her mind willingly.
"Sakura's still waiting for you." Murmured Emiko, her hand dropping gradually to her side as she fell into the familiar gentle rhythm of speaking to the Uchiha.
"Hn." Well, what was she expecting? Emiko shrugged, her anger dissipated as she wrapped in the atmosphere. Silence slipped between them like an old friend, a comfort to both as it seemed they still needed no words, simply stnading in the hallway as time passed.
"I saw you beat Toko pretty harshly." Sasuke spoke, his tone dripping secretly of amusement. Emiko blinked and before she could think she turned to face him.
"You left before that happened. How did you know?" She replied, eyebrows raised in curiosity. His nature continued as he remained like a blank slate only a light glint running for a second in his eyes.
"You graduated too." He continued, ignoring her question and continuing down the path he'd apparently planned for the conversation. Emiko blinked again, shifting anxiously on her feet. A prick of annoyance poked her thoughts as she knew if he was the same he had been he was secretly enjoying his time.
Deciding to follow his lead Emiko sighed, rolling her eyes before she replied with a simple 'yes'.
"Going to college?" Feeling a sense of deja vu from when she'd spoken with her brother she replied with an agitated 'yes'. "Shitty school?"At this Emiko grinned, slightly amused as she folded her eyes fixing him with a calm stare.
"No. Some idiot encouraged me to try for me." She remarked with slight jest, even against her continuous thoughts that she should leave, the mental yells that she should bolt before something happened. 'He left remember! Be angry! Smack him again!' One side bickered and she felt her arms drop to her sides to recognize the arguement.
"You're mental." Sasuke remarked dryly. Whether he noticed the change in her actions or not it seemed like a legitimate statement although not one that Emiko found amusing as she was trying to force herself into regretless anger. 'Come on Toko pissed me off all the time why can't Sasuke!' Emiko thought in vexation as she fought an internal battle.
"Fine Sasuke. I'm mental." She flung her hands up in the air, gesturing as even she tried to understand herself. Sasuke's eyebrows raised but he said nothing as he watched her silently. "I'm freakin' mental but you know what! I don't care! Because I'm too fruckin'confused to care! Actually, me being insane would be wonderful!" She ignored his smirk, stepping close and attempting to pull a reaction as she waved her hands around in frustration. "Why? Because at least it would explain something about all the problems I'm having!"
"It's been a while." Emiko almost fell over as she listened to him stride off in a tangent. 'God I hate him!' She thought as she glared at him, trying to break the clear disinterest in his black eyes.
"Been a while since what?" Her glare lessened as she seemed easily wary of the possible responses.
"Since you last broke in here." Sasuke dead panned and Emiko blinked before she glowered at him, evidently aggravated more and more by his apparent lack of interest. 'Jerk,' she repeated to herself silently.
"What are you stalking me? You know I got in a fight, kicked the guy's ass." At this Emiko paused to punch the air in victory and mutter a 'hell ya'. "Graduated and you know how often I've been here? What else do you know? How many boyfriends I've had since you left?"
"Two." 'Two? Really?' the girl paused, ignoring the slight tint of contempt in Sasuke's voice. Thinking it over she realized it was slightly correct. "One you dated just once and the other was longer."
"It's official: you're the mental one." Emiko muttered, clearly unnerved by the response. 'He's been watching me?' Emiko wasn't sure what emotion to pick: anger, paranoia, distress, comfort or just insanity. Clearly the last one offered the most.
"Baka." Her attention snapped her him, her eyes falsely narrowing as hse tried to force anger. 'What the hell! He watches me and I get called names!' A tirade raged in her mind. "I'm not stalking you. Don't flatter yourself." He added shortly, his smirk missing as blank onyx colored eyes stared at her.
"Whatever. Anyway I'm not coming back. This was my last trip here." Emiko stated, unsure of the words' truth.
"Was? Makes it sound like you're not sure." A smug smirk crossed his lips for a fleeting second prying an exasperated sigh from Emiko as she wondered how she'd ever been dragged into such a life. 'Nit-picky, spikey haired, non bunny suit wearing, raisin stabbing Uchiha.' She thought half heartedly before she decided to turn the game.
"How's your revenge coming?" The question probably surprised him although it was only a small blink that hinted of the reaction.
"Hn." He didn't seem interested in answering questions as he turned his gaze to the door behind Emiko, nonchalantly resting against the wall as he paid no attention to the brunette.
"So, good I guess? Great." She continued with sarcasm. Silence. A sigh escaped her lips as she ran fingers through her hair, her mismatched eyes softening with a nostalgic gloss as she studied the Uchiha still wrapped with his familiar uniform of apathy.
'I should leave now.' Another heavy sigh and she turned, grasping the door lightly as though leaving would burn her skin with another singe of regret. Regardless the door opened, a small breeze of moist air rushing in to welcome her, the sounds of the rain outside still patting gently against the house in a steady beat.
'No you should turn back and ask him what the hell he's doing! That or kick his ass for being such a jerk! One side ordered but Emiko brushed it off as she closed her eyes. 'No better way to seal all this away,' she thought to herself, a quiet hint of confidence in her mind. Yet also uncertainty as she stood in place, her mind rooted in the confusion she'd hoped to escape.
"Leaving?" Her fingers curled and her eyebrows furrowed as Sasuke's voice rang in her mind, twisting barbed wire through her thoughts and body.
"I learned from someone." She hissed, the bitter twinge purely pronounced as her fingers began to unfurl and her expression relaxed as far as possible. Sasuke's scoff sounded behind her just before she whipped around, her eyes meeting his heatedly.
"What?" Sasuke challenged blankly, a new smirk across his features as the brunette before him seemed to battle with herself on what to do. 'Damn him I hope he falls on a chopstick and dies!' Emiko cursed, quickly realizing that her anger was deflating faster than a popped balloon as she sighed in defeat and moved her gaze away to the wall.
"You're a jerk. I can't believe I liked you." She muttered. Somehow in a normal situation the words would have seemed mean at least but Sasuke simply nodded, unperturbed by the statement as light flickered momentarily through his dark eyes. What would have been unnoticed by most was however picked out by Emiko as she stared at him, utterly confused by everything.
"Idiot."
"Jerk."
"Moron."
"Jerk."
"Bi-polar freak."
"Jerk."
"All you're saying is jerk. Brain too small for anything else?"
"Turkey head." Emiko smirked, pointing for a second at the look on the Uchiha's pale face, his eye twitching faintly. Another stretch of silence as Emiko paused at the door, internally frustrated at her continued inability to make a decision.
'He keeps saying or doing something to make me stay.' Emiko insisted, trying to wash away the sense of guilt by blaming the dark haired male. She wasn't enjoying being around him, was she? The idea was a simple taboo. He'd caused so much trouble and pain to so many, she couldn't still miss him.
Once again she opened the door further, the warm atmosphere from outside slowly immigrating into the house, warmingthe interior slightly for the pair. 'Step out. Shut the door. Step out. Shut the door. STEP. OUT.'
"Emiko." Mismatched orbs softened as she stared a tthe door before her, tilting her head slightly to show she was listening. "You can break in again since you have no life to do anything else." Emiko laughed and turned to him, staring into the depths of shadow before she smiled, brushing a strand from her face as she memorized his face.
'I guess I can't let go of the past,' she thought to herself as she nodded and turned on her heel. Confusion melted away into a warm relief of resolve as her ocean of thoughts calmed. Outside the air seemed lighter as she breathed in the left over aromas of the rain now dwindling away.
"I hate you by the way." She muttered, shooting him a short, feigned glare as she effortlessly stepped out, the warm warms of the outside humidity resting around her.
"Hn, same." The door slid shut sharply but Emiko grinned faintly anyway as she stepped off the porch, the soft ground molding beneath her feet as she folded her arms.
'I guess it's impossible to lock away the past," she chuckled. 'Especially one like this.' Emiko pondered as she walked down the driveway, clearly aware of the gaze following her movements like a guardian. Instead of the discomfort of being watched she felt a kind of protection, something she hadn't felt in a long time. The gaze following her disappeared and she pushed her hair into a loose, chaotic bun, watching the path ahead steadily as she turned and walked down the street.
'Jerk...'
Read and review so I can improve...does that rhyme?