Disclaimer: The computer is my friend.
Warning: crack!fic, failed attempt at humor. AHHH. Slash.
Human name used.
Summary: Gilbert is persistent and it messes with Roderich's head.
"Listen! I love you!"
"..."
"Stunned, right? I know my awesomeness is too much for you to handle."
"..."
"Take your hand off my forehead, I'm not having a favor."
"..."
"You have 30 seconds to answer the awesome me!"
"..."
"Hey, how can you faint?!"
That's the first time Gilbert Beilschmidt has confessed his love to Roderich Edelstein in the kindergarten. The result is obvious, though.
"Hey, don't you dare run away!"
"Run away? I wish I could fly!"
"How many times do I have to say 'I love you' so that you can believe me?"
"..."
"You really don't believe me?"
"Hm, you only learnt that from the television, do you have any clues what those three words mean?"
"Who do you think I am? I'll use my awesomeness to prove it to you!"
"Wh.. What?"
"Kesesese... How's that? Is the kiss enough to get through your head?"
"..."
"Roderich?"
"Ah, I feel like throwing up..."
This is Gilbert's second attempt to confess to Roderich - the event happens at their first grade. Not only did the poor Gilbert lose a kiss, but he also was struck by the hardest blow on his awesomeness - Rejection!
"Roderick Edelstein! Kesesese ~~~"
"What do you want this time?"
"I want to say I love you..."
"Don't be stupid!"
"What's with you? I'm trying to be polite..."
"Are you done?"
"No! The awesome me will prove to you that my determination will never change!"
"What do you want?"
"Like this..."
"Take your hand off!"
"I'm showing my love!"
"Bethink yourself!"
"No!"
"You... You... You'll ruin my shirt!"
"Okay, you take it off!"
"I... I..."
"Here, we're in the same best. You're mine now."
"..."
The third time happens in their fourth grade. The result? Nothing, except for the fact that Roderich's sick for a week.
"Roderich..."
"Get lost."
"Don't be so cold. We're childhood friends, the best kind of friends."
"Don't ever talk about that. Being your neighbor is my nightmare."
"Why? We're lovey-dovey all the times."
"When? No, don't you dare say when we were small. Do you ever understand?"
"The awesome me understands everything."
"And you haven't given up yet?"
"Given up what?"
"Look, Beilschmidt..."
"Gilbert."
"Yes, Gilbert, do you understand that I'm a boy?"
"I'm not blind. But what's matter?"
"Don't you pay attention in Biology?"
"The worst is that we will not have children."
"That's not the problem?"
"Then what's the problem? I love you, that's enough."
"..."
The fourth time Gilbert confesses his undying love to Roderich is when they're first year at secondary school, which results in their becoming alien in almost everyone's eyes. (Almost, Roderick is sure, because there're Kiku, whose eyes literally spark everything he sees Roderich and Elizabeta, who always smiles too brightly for his comfort when Gilbert shouts those dread words). Roderich decisively ignores Gilbert.
The fifth time is when they're in their final year, Gilbert messing with Roderich causes the poor young man to fail his exam. He has to study for another year with that blasted white-haired demon, who (much to Roderich's wicked joy) also fails.
The sixth time happens in second year in high school, which makes Roderich loses his calm and gets in murderous mode. Even though Gilbert has to run for his miserable life, he still remembers to yell "I love you, love you...". It takes the whole class and the teacher to stop Roderich from committing a crime.
The seventh time, first year university, Roderich decides to date some girls, changes girlfriends as clothes. And Gilbert is the awesome hero who rescues and comforts each girl each time.
The eighth time...
The ninth time...
The tenth time...
The eleventh time...
Later...
"Roderich ~~~ Love love love ~~~ you were so wonderful last night!"
"One more words and I'll behead you."
"Roderich ~~~"
"Forget what you're thinking. Last night was enough."
"Roderich, I really love you."
"..."
"I love you i love you i love you love you love you..."
"Are you done? I know it."
"Roderich, you face is scarlet."
"Shut up."
"I prefer the term 'Please be quiet'."
"Since when have you known I love you?"
"From the beginning."
"Why do you make me wait so long?"
"Because... I don't dare believe, okay?"
"Are you worried that I'm going to leave you?"
"No, you love me too much."
"Kesese... I know it."
"?!"
"The awesome me is always right."