The Real reason Diane Chambers didn't get back to Cheers!
PRINCESS OF THE UNIVERSE
Diane Chambers sat on a rock and stared out at the sea, her
soul seeking peace within the waves. After a while she took
a small book out of her beach bag and opened it. Taking a
pen from her pocket she began to write.
Dear Diary
Well here I am, alone. I know, I know just a few days ago
I was all set to be Mrs. Sam Malone but (as usual) something
went wrong. Sumner Sloan (remember him?) stopped by Cheers
as the wedding was taking place and told me my book had a
chance to be published. So, taking my leave of Sam I took
the publishers advance and came here, to this charming place.
But now I find myself unable to write, did I leave Sam
forever? Will I ever see him again? Do I wish too? While
in truth the attraction he and I felt was always...
"Ouch!" Diane shouted jumping up suddenly. The crab that
had crawled up her skirt fell to the sand and began to crawl
away.
"How dare you ruin my train of thought." Diane scolded.
She sat down and started to write again but gave up after a
few futile attempts. Sighing she stood up and started to
walk back to the inn.
It was a long walk from the shore to the inn and Diane
recited the Illiad to herself. The poem had seen her through
some hard times before and would hopefully clear her mind
now. So lost in her thoughts was Diane that she failed to
see a frisbee wiz past her head. However she could not help
but notice the dog that chased it. He knocked her down.
"Heavens!" she yelled. The dog seemed to view her as
merely another obstacle to his goal of the frisbee and
struggled to scramble away from her. He finally managed too
do so by planting his feet on her stomach and leaping off.
Leaving Diane in a heap on the ground gasping for breath.
"Sprocket!" Diane looked up and saw an old man walking
toward her. "Sprocket!" he called again. The dog came
trotting over to them, proudly carrying the frisbee.
"Sprocket can't you be more careful?"
The old man bent down and for a moment Diane was reminded
of Coach, one of the bartenders at Cheers. He had an old
weather beaten face with clear eyes that peered from behind
wire framed glasses.
"Are you alright Miss?"
"I think so." Diane said, slowly getting to her feet.
"I'm sorry about him but when Sprocket goes after something
he doesn't let much slow him down.
Sprocket barked and threw the frisbee to her.
"Well isn't that nice, he wants you to throw it for him."
"Yes, very nice."
For a moment the three of them stood there, then Diane
realized they were waiting for her to throw the frisbee.
Drawing her arm back Diane hurled the small piece of plastic
with all her might.
It proceeded from them at a high speed and landed three
feet away.
"Grouf." Sprocket said.
"You have to use your wrist more." Doc told her, picking it
up and demonstrating.
By sundown that evening Diane had not only introduced
herself to Doc, she had told him of her romantic problems
at Cheers, expounded on the joys of Elizabethan Poetry and
finally expressed her views on the current state of the world
financial system.
All Doc had managed to tell her about himself was that he
was an inventor who lived alone with his dog Sprocket. As
the sun set the three of them walked back to the inn. Diane
accepted Doc's is invitation to see his workshop and then
have dinner.
"Oh this is very quaint." Diane said. Doc's workshop was
in the basement of a small house a few hundred feet from the
inn. It was crammed with scientific equipment and
instruments. On the floor was also a large basket with a
small bowl beside it. Sprocket trotted over to the basket
and settled in, then looked expectantly at the bowl.
"Grouf."
"He wants food." Doc explained.
"You have mail." Diane noticed. She bent down and picked
up a small group of envelopes that were just inside the door.
"Probably more bills." Doc said, taking the letters from
her he quickly went through them, throwing all but one onto
the workbench.
"Another postcard for Gobo Fraggle." Doc said dropping the
postcard into the wastebasket. "Someone is always sending me
mail addressed to someone else." he explained to her.
He reached under the workbench to get a can of dog food and
a particularly elaborate piece of equipment caught Diane's
eye.
"What ever is this?" she asked, walking over to the device.
It looked something like a laser, though the amount of
circuitry attached suggested a more exotic purpose.
"Oh that's a piece of salvage I picked up from an auction
last week." Doc said, opening a cabinet. "It came from the
estate of some eccentric, I think his name was Dr. Shrinker
or something like that. I don't know what it does yet. I'm
not even sure it works."
Unnoticed by either Diane or Doc a small creature observed
them. Sprocket noticed however, he had been watching that
same hole in the wall since the day he and Doc had moved into
the workshop. Small, strange creatures lurked within that
hole. Someday he was going to catch one and prove it.
"I'm sorry I think I left Sprocket's dog food in the
kitchen. Do you mind waiting for a moment while I get it?"
"Not at all."
Doc left and Diane looked around, fascinated by all the
tools.
"The trappings of an inventor." she whispered to herself.
"He is much like Thereu." Diane told Sprocket. "Living a
life of quiet solitude."
"Grouf." Sprocket replied putting his head down on his
folded paws.
Diane was just about to take out her diary and jot down a
poem about Doc and his life when these things happened.
A small orange furry creature ran out of the hole in the
workshops wall and ran over to the wastepaper basket.
Sprocket jumped up, bumping the laser in his haste. He
started to go toward the Fraggle and there was a blinding
flash of light. When Sprocket's eyes cleared there was
no sing of either the Fraggle or Diane. But the laser was
smoking badly.
Diane felt a bit of discomfort and then the world changed.
She was in a huge chamber with flashing lights and a huge
hairy creature was rampaging around the room. Screaming in
terror Diane ran toward the only safe opening she could see.
It led to a cave and she kept running in blind terror.
Further ahead of her Diane could see another figure running.
She followed it, taking every turn it did. Finally she took
one turn too many and ran into a low ceiling. Blackness
claimed her.
Diane woke up feeling stranger than she had ever felt in
her life. It wasn't just the aching head, she had felt that
many times before, it was the way her body felt. Wrong
somehow, as if... as if...
Curiouser and Curiouser, Diane thought to herself. That
was it, that was how she felt. Somehow she had the feeling
that Alice had felt the same way after the fall down the
rabbit hole. Now why should I think that?, Diane wondered.
She became aware of voices around her, strange voices that
sounded both young, yet not young.
"What is she?" asked a high sounding voice to her left.
"She looks like a silly creature."
"That small? Gobo where did she come from?"
"She followed me Red."
"We better keep away from her." said a nervous sounding
person from somewhere to her right. "She might be
dangerous."
"Dangerous how?" asked a voice above her.
"She's from outer space, she might be carrying strange
germs. We shouldn't even be here."
"I beg your pardon." Diane said, her sense of dignity
forcing her to speak out. Sitting up she opened her eyes and
looked around.
She was in a cave, small alcoves were cut into the walls
forming sleeping places and closets. A small fire smoldered
softly in one of them. For a moment Diane and the Fraggles
stared at each other. She would always remember the absence
of being threatened as her first impression of them. Later
Diane would comment that it was unusual for a person in her
position not to feel threatened. But Gobo would tell her
that few in The Rock (as the Fraggles called their home) ever
felt threatened.
They were all a little smaller than she was, furry, though
the fur came in all colors, and they all had tails with
little puffs of fur on the end. The one closest to her was
taller than the rest, nearly Diane's height and her fur was a
green type of color. She wore a poncho type of garment, like
her fur green in color. Under the poncho she wore a vest
that looked like it was woven from strips of cloth. Around
her neck on a string was the pull top from a soda can.
Behind her stood the one Diane had glimpsed briefly in Doc's
workshop. He was orange, of a shade she had never seen
before, with pink hair. He wore a striped shirt with a cyan
jacket and had a questioning face. In the doorway was a
grey/green sort of fraggle, he had red hair that covered his
eyes and a cap that covered most of the hair. Around his
neck was worn a scarf. Standing beside him was a fraggle
with her hair done up into red/pink pom-poms rising out of
her head. She wore a red sweater as well. Another one was
on the ledge to her left and he seemed the smallest of them
all. He wore a flower covered shirt and his hair was a sort
of white. They all had large eyes and reminded Diane of the
Muppets.
The fraggles in turn saw Diane as a thin silly creature
dressed in a blue skirt, white blouse and nearly a head
taller than all of them. Her hair was blonde and she had a
soft, round face. Clutched in her hand was a carry bag of
some sort.
"I," Diane pronounced, shock allowing her the luxury of
falling back on her social instincts, "do not carry germs."
"It's awake!" the one at the doorway shouted. He would
have fled had not the one with the red sweater grabbed him.
"Boober if she was carrying germs we'd be done for by now
anyway." the one closest to Diane said. "She doesn't look
dangerous."
"Thank you."
"Your welcome, my name is Moki."
"I'm Diane."
"Well that's a nice name." Moki pointed to the fraggle with
the striped shirt. "That's Gobo."
"Hello."
"Hi." Diane said, wondering if handshakes were appropriate.
"I'm Wembley." said the fraggle in the alcove above her.
"How do you do?"
"I'm Red." said the one with two red pom poms.
"Pleased to meet you." Diane said.
"What are you?" Boober asked, coming in a few steps from
the doorway.
"Uh, I'm a human. A woman really."
There was a chorus of "oh's" from the fraggles.
"Excuse me but Where am I? How did I get here?"
"Your in Fraggle Rock, the center of the universe." Gobo
said.
"The center of the universe?"
"At least that's what my Uncle Traveling Mat always calls
it."
"Oh." Somehow this was not the answer Diane wanted. "How
did I get here?"
"I don't know." Gobo said. "I went up to get my uncles
postcard like I always do, the big hairy monster tried to
catch me like he always does, then there was a bright light
and you were chasing me down the tunnel."
Diane searched her memory, nothing Gobo said sounded wrong
to her, but none of it sounded quite right either.
"I remember the light." she stood up and started to pace,
the fraggles gave her room. "Then I was in the huge room of
some sort and there was a big hairy monster... Then I was
running... Then I'm here."
"But how could you come after me?" Gobo asked. "No silly
creature could fit through the hole in the wall."
A flash of knowledge came to Diane, for a second everything
fit into place. Then she denied it.
"It couldn't be, Dr. Shrinker? Could I have been shrunk
somehow? No, its not possible." She sat down.
"Sure it is." Red told her.
"What shrinking?"
"And growing." Moki told her. "Magic like that happens all
the time in Fraggle Rock."
"There's no such thing as magic." Diane declared.
"Then how did you get here?" all the Fraggles chorused.
"I must be dreaming. That's it, I am having a child-like
dream to escape my emotional problems with Sam." Once again
she started to pace, talking more to herself than to the
fraggles. "It is a very understandable physiological
reaction to extreme stress, one fantasizes. The body
produces too much..." she paused, then started again. "Well
perhaps not the body, the mind under too much stress retreats
into fantasy. Of course now that I've recognized the
phenomena for what it is I will of course wake up."
Pleased with her reasoning Diane stopped pacing,
straightened her cloths and waited for her reasoning to bring
her back to reality.
"What did she say?" Wembley asked.
"I don't know, did you understand any of it Moki?"
"No Gobo, did you Red?"
"Not a word."
They all looked at Boober.
"What? I'm sorry I wasn't listening."
"This can not be happening!" Diane burst out.
"She's going to attack us!" Boober shouted. Before anyone
could stop him he had run out of the chamber.
"That wasn't very nice." Moki said. "You shouldn't go
around shouting at people."
"I'm sorry." Diane apologized. "Its just that I can not
believe what has happened to me, I'm not even sure I'm here."
"Well if your not sure your here where are you?" Wembley
asked.
Though Doc had never had a fire in his workshop before that
didn't mean he couldn't handle one. He could, which worked
out well considering that when he came back to the workshop
the shrinking machine was on fire. Grabbing a fire
extinguisher Doc put the fire out and then asked Sprocket
what had happened. All he could get from the dog was that
the machine had started smoking and Diane ran away.
Diane looked at the workshop from the small fraggle hole,
it did indeed look bigger. More alarming than the size
however was the fact that the shrinking machine was gone.
Doc and Sprocket had just come back in.
"Well I guess that takes care of that." Doc said, hanging
his coat up. "To bad about all those components but once you
short out a power lead that's it. You know Sprocket I wonder
what that thing did?"
"Grouf." Sprocket said, settling down into his basket.
"Oh well it doesn't matter, you wait here I'm going to see
if I can find Diane. I hope the fire didn't scare here too
much."
"Doesn't matter?" Diane whispered to herself, in shock she
leaned against the wall of the cave. "That thing was the
only hope I had of being normal again and he says it doesn't
matter?"
"You mean that funny looking thing shrunk you down to
fraggle size?" Gobo asked.
"Yes, and without it I'm stuck here."
Diane walked dejectedly down the passageway that linked
Doc's workshop with Fraggle Rock, normally she would have
curious about everything, not so now. Little matter to her
that she might not have been right, that there might not have
been a way to reverse the effect of the shrinking ray. In
her mind that had not even been a consideration.
"Come on it's not so bad." Gobo said, trying to cheer her
up. "I mean the rock is the best place in the universe."
"Your universe Gobo, not mine. It's nice here but it's
just not my world. There has got to be someway out of this."
"Maybe we should ask the Trashheap." Gobo suggested.
"Trashheap?"
"Sure, all we have to do is get past the Gorgs and she
should be able to tell us how to get you big again."
They walked along in silence for a few more feet until
Diane gave into the pressure and finally asked.
"Gobo, what is a Gorg?"
When they got back to the center of the rock Diane saw that
all of the fraggles were clustered around a tall tower that
seemed to be built of clear thin plastic strips.
"Snack time." Gobo shouted. Leaving her staring at the
tower he joined the rest of the fraggles. Moki moved away
from the crowd and came up to her.
"Are you hungry?" Moki asked.
"A little." Diane admitted.
"Well come on, I'll show you around the rock while we eat."
While Diane was not convinced Fraggle Rock was the center
of the universe she found the place endlessly fascinating.
At least once she had calmed down enough to look around. The
Rock seemed to be an actual rock, either carved out by
natural forces or by the fraggles themselves. Pathways and
ramps were everywhere, as were more fraggles than she could
count. Here and there Diane could see pipes, man made ones
that ran in and out of the walls. Where was she? Could she
be in the wall of, or perhaps under Doc's workshop?
Moki pointed out a few landmarks, a huge horn stood in the
center of a community gathering spot. She explained that it
was used to summon all of the fraggles for a meeting or a
party. A large pool of water, fed by a pipe stood in the
center. Spaced unevenly in all directions were more towers
and some bridges, all made out of the same thin clear
material. Diane and Moki stopped near the pool.
"Are you thirsty?" Moki took a wooden cup from a hook near
the fountain and filled it, then handed it to her.
Diane took a sip of the water and was grateful that it
tasted like water, she had the idea it might have tasted like
wine. Or at least that was what water had always tasted like
in her dreams before, and she was dreaming wasn't she?
"Thank you." she put the cup back on the hook and Moki led
her over to a particularly tall tower that gleamed in the
light. Around it small men worked. The men were about five
or so inches high with green skin. Even the fraggles towered
over them.
"What are those?"
"Those are Doozers." Moki explained.
"Doozers?"
"Sure, come on I'll introduce you."
They walked a little past the group of fraggles that was
gathered around the base of the tower and Moki ducked under a
bridge made out of the same material.
Now that they were closer Diane saw that the Doozers looked
less like men and more like two balls of green cotton with
arms and legs. They were dressed in white hard hats and wore
tool belts and boots of the same color. Moki stopped infront
of one of the bridges and after a few seconds one of the
Doozers rolled out to greet her. He was riding a small three
wheeled bike, though what drove it Diane couldn't guess.
"Hi Cotterpin." Moki said. "This is my friend Diane."
"Hi." the Doozer said, his voice was quite high, almost
managing to sound like a little girl.
"Greetings." Diane said, loosing herself in the beauty of
the towers construction. If the Doozers had indeed built
this they were magnificent engineers.
"Your a funny looking Fraggle." Cotterpin said.
"I'm not a..." Diane started to correct him when Red threw
herself against one of the towers supports and bit it off.
The construction tottered for a few seconds, then fell into
the midst of the other fraggles who each grabbed a piece of
it.
So lost was Diane in shock that she didn't notice Moki dart
into the group and come back with two sticks.
"Have one?"
"What? How could you destroy that tower? The Doozers must
have worked very hard on it."
"That's ok, they'll build another one tomorrow."
"Doesn't it bother you that the fraggles eat everything
that you build?" Diane asked Cotterpin.
"Nah. If they didn't eat them we'd run out of room sooner
or later."
"He's right." Gobo said, coming over to them. "Once we all
stopped eating Doozer constructions and it only took a week
for them to run out of space. Doozers can only build, they
can't knock down."
"What a strange system." Diane said, she took a small bite
out of the stick Moki had brought her.
"Cabbage." she muttered. "A little cinnamon, maybe just a
hint of salt."
"It's one of the architects better recipes." Cotterpin
said. "Good-bye, I have to help clear the space for the next
tower."
He sped off and Diane helped herself to another piece of
the tower. "Delicious, almost like bread sticks but with a
little more starch."
"After we eat I'm taking Diane to the Trash heap." Gobo
told Moki. "Maybe she might be able to tell Diane how to get
back to outer space."
"But why do you want to go?"
"Yea." Red said, coming up behind them. "I mean if Gobo's
uncle is right outer space is weird."
"It may be weird but it is my home." Diane said. "Though
in truth it would be nice to linger in the Rock for a time,
but no, I have a book due at the editors desk in a mere four
months. I have to go back. Then there's Sam to think about.
We have to settle things."
"Well come on." Gobo said. "It's safest to go now while
the Gorgs are eating lunch."
The creature stood about fifteen feet tall, enormous in
bulk and girth. Basically man shaped he was covered in thick
brown/yellowish fur, large eyes sat above a huge nose and a
mouth that seemed to open only from the bottom. He wore a
patched shirt and boots.
"That's Junior Gorg." Gobo said, pointing.
"Really." Diane said, estimating the height of the
creature. She estimated it about fifteen feet. At her
present height that meant that Junior...
Diane put that thought out her mind, the gorg was obviously
a vegetarian. She hoped.
"He looks like one of those overweight wrestlers Sam is
always admiring." Diane muttered to herself. Aloud she said:
"Where is the Trashheap."
"Just beyond the garden." Gobo said. "All we have to do is
get by Junior."
"How easy is that?"
"Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't."
Diane was by no means pleased by the fraggles statement,
she was also by no means convinced that this wasn't a dream
of some sort, but if it wasn't a dream...
Junior turned his back and Gobo grabbed her arm and pulled
her out of the hole.
"Come on." he said.
Diane followed and they ran past the Gorg before he turned
around.
"You are in the presence of the all knowing."
"All seeing."
"Trash heap."
"Neahh."
Diane stared curiously at the two rats, they had recited
the speech naturally, indeed pompously. Unlike others of her
sex Diane had never been frightened by small rodents, hearing
them talk however was another matter. If the rats talking
unnerved her though it was nothing compared to see the pile
of refuse shake, quiver and finally form itself into the
semblance of an old woman.
"Greetings madam heap." Gobo said formally.
"Hi sonny, who's your friend?"
Her voice even sounded like an old womans voice.
"This is Diane. She's a silly creature that accidentally
got shrunk. She wants to know how to grow again and get back
to outer space."
"Well this is a new one."
"Excuse me?"
"What is it honey?"
"Your a trash heap."
"Of course I am, what do I look like?"
"I'm sorry, its just that where I come from piles of
garbage don't just start talking, much less dispensing
wisdom."
"So."
"Can you help me?" Diane asked, realizing that further
conversation as to weather or not things were real would be a
waste of time.
"Sure I can, I'm all knowing. All you need to do is take a
bite from this mushroom."
The trash Heap reached down and grabbed a mushroom from the
edge of herself, tossing it to her.
"Like Alice in Wonderland?" Diane asked, looking
uncertainly at the mushroom. She didn't recognize the
species.
"You know Alice? Great gal she is, hasn't been around here
in ages."
"I've heard of her." Diane said.
Next thing you know I'll be meeting the Scarecrow and the
Tin Woodsman, she thought. As Gobo and the Trashheap talked
Diane wondered if she could actually get to OZ from Fraggle
Rock, she had always wanted to meet Glinda.
"Well now comes the tricky part." Gobo said, he pointed to
the Gorg. "Sometimes its harder to get back to the Rock than
it is to get out of it."
They waited until Junior turned his back then Gobo took
off. Diane followed at her top speed, marveling at how fast
the small fraggle could move. Unfortunately it wasn't fast
enough. With a speed that denied his size Junior Gorg
turned, saw them and pounced.
He missed Diane but one hand closed around Gobo.
"Gotcha!" Junior shouted.
"Help!"
"Let go of him!"
"What? Who?"
Diane took the mushroom out of her bag and ate it, within
seconds she was back to her normal height.
Which, sadly, was about three feet shorter than Junior
Gorg. Stunned he dropped Gobo, his attention centered on the
strange and beautiful creature that stood before him.
"Who are you?" He asked, standing up.
"I am Diane Chambers." Diane said, her manner making it
clear that she was a person to be reckoned with. "How dare
you attack that creature, don't you have any sense of..."
Diane's voice faltered as she looked up at the gorg and was
suddenly reminded of the height difference.
"Wow! Are you married?"
Later on Diane would always kick herself for the answer she
was about to give, if she had exercised any of the intellect
she possessed she would have lied. Unfortunately she had
always been raised to tell the truth.
"No."
"Maw!" Junior grabbed her arm and dragged her over to a
small castle shaped house that stood a little apart from the
garden. "Paw! I got a princess!"
"Now wait a minute." Diane said, pulling away from him.
"While I admit that regal bearing is in my case an inborn
talent that does not mean you can just grab me like that."
Junior looked at her for a few seconds, his eyes opened
wide. Then he took her arm again and dragged her toward the
doorway.
"Maw! Paw! I caught a funny talking princess!"
A slightly smaller, purple gorg wearing a cape and a crown
came out of the castle.
"What are you talking about Junior?"
Behind him came another gorg, a woman if Diane's guess was
correct, she wore a dress and had long orange hair. She too
wore a crown. Both of stared in shock at Diane.
"What is that?" the king asked.
"This is a Diane, Daddy. I finally found a princess, just
like Maw always said I would."
"Oh happy days." the queen said.
"Nice going son, you now have a princess worthy of your
ancestors. Why with a little work she might even look as
good as your mother."
"Oh you flatterer."
"Now wait just a minute." Diane declared, pulling her arm
free of Junior's grasp. "Your majesty's obviously are highly
civilized, you could not think of letting me marry your son
without references."
"I told you she talks funny."
Diane was acting on instinct, shock once again allowing her
to fall back on her upbringing. She had often played as if
she was in a kings court with her cat Elizabeth. What was
worrying her was the fact that the mushroom, even if it had
worked in reverse, was gone. She had swallowed it whole
and without it she had nowhere to go.
"She's right." Ma said.
"By george she is. Speak your name maiden."
"I am Diane Chambers, my lord king." Diane said, preforming
a courtly bow.
"From whence came yee?"
"Boston, my lord king."
"Good enough for me."
"Me too." Junior said.
"I hereby make it unanimous." his mother cried. She took
Diane's arm and started to drag her toward the castle. "Come
along deary, I'll show you your new home."
Thus it was that Diane, despite all the protest she could
utter, became princess of the universe.
From the safety of the Fraggle hole Gobo watched as Diane
was dragged into the castle. He had to rescue her. As soon
as all they were all inside he left the hole and went to the
Trashheap.
"What'd ya think I got nothing better to do than grow
mushrooms?"
"But I have to rescue her." Gobo said. "I can't just let
her marry Junior."
"Might be the best thing for her."
"I don't think so."
"All right but I only got one mushroom left. Takes a while
to grow things you know."
"How long?" Gobo asked.
"About a year or two."
"A year or two?" The Trashheap nodded and Gobo considered,
he could leave Diane where she was until both mushrooms were
ready, or he could give her the one that was ready now.
"I might as well take the one that's ready now. After all
if she has to spend a year away from outer space I'm sure
she'd rather spend it with us Fraggles."
In her younger days Diane had often played at being a
princess, in her mind a princesses life was one of luxury,
with servants not only granting but anticipating her every
whim. She had certainly never imagined that a princess would
have the chores of a scullery maid.
But that was what a Gorg princess did, she cooked, cleaned,
chopped wood and generally did what the King and Queen told
her too. Junior explained that it was a matter of seniority,
his mother and father were older, therefor they made the
rules.
For three days she had done what they told her to do, there
was never a threat of punishment from the Gorgs if she
didn't, indeed aside from the kings war stories (which Diane
hoped were imaginary) and Juniors desire to "Thump" Fraggles
they were easy to get along with. They were also taller and
far stronger than she was. Besides the only way home for her
was back through Fraggle Rock. Even if she did run away from
the Gorgs where would she go? As she worked harder than she
had ever worked in her life Diane wondered where all those
nights on horseback she had always read about were?
Each night she was locked in a tower (another of the
queen's rules) and each morning Junior would come and
"rescue" her. Rescue meant that he would wake her up and she
would start to make breakfast while he worked in his garden.
After breakfast she would do the laundry, clean the castle
and would then sit for an hour while the queen painted her
picture into the royal family album. Then there would be
more cleaning, lessons in gorg etiquette and time spent
playing with Junior. After cooking dinner, washing the
dishes and spending time on guard duty Diane was then
escorted back to her tower and locked up again.
It had been explained that after Junior was done courting,
which could take anywhere from months to years, they would be
married. Diane hoped that Junior would take his time.
She had not seen Gobo since the day Junior had caught her
and the trash heap ignored her plea's for aide. Perhaps the
only bright spot in the situation was that each night before
she went to bed she recorded all she could about the Gorg's
and there ways in her diary, if nothing else they would make
a fine childrens book if she ever got back.
On her fourth night of captivity Diane had just finished
writing down the "Gorg Theory of Battle at Sea" when she
heard a soft whisper call her name. She paused, looking
around the room. The whisper was repeated and she saw Gobo's
head poking out of a crack on the mantle of her fireplace.
"Gobo!" she said, rushing over to him.
"Hi, are you ok?"
"Aside from having dishpan hands yes, where have you been?"
"I had to get another mushroom from the trash heap, it took
me a few days to find a way in here. Catch."
He threw the mushroom down to her and Diane caught it.
Putting her diary in her sea bag she quickly swallowed the
mushroom.
Almost as soon as she did so Diane realized her mistake,
within seconds she was once more Fraggle sized.
And Gobo was far to high for her to reach.
"Gobo!" Diane called, wondering why a person as smart as
she was, was making so many mistakes of late.
"Why did you eat the mushroom so fast?" Gobo called.
"I panicked." Diane admitted. "How do I get out of here?"
"Wait here, I'll get a rope."
He vanished into the wall and Diane looked around trying to
find some other way out of the room. None existed, even the
door was set too snugly into the frame for her to crawl under
it. For nearly the entire night she stood, waiting. Finally
Gobo re-appeared.
"Catch." he called as he let one end of the rope fall to
her. The other end was anchored to something inside the
wall.
Diane was about to grab the rope when she heard a knock on
the door.
"Are you awake my princess?" Junior called. "It is I, your
dashing prince come to save you."
"Just a minute." Diane called, using her sweetest voice.
"What do I do now?"
"Hide." Gobo advised.
"Hide." Diane hissed, she could have thought of that
herself.
The door started to open and Diane hid under the bed.
"Princes Diane?" Junior looked around the room. "Where are
you my love?" He looked around again and didn't see her.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a fraggle peering out
from a crack in the mantle. In flash he grabbed the small
creature.
"Gotcha, now where's my Diane?"
"Junior let him go."
"Huh?" puzzled the young Gorg looked around, he could hear
Diane but he couldn't see her.
"You heard me."
"Where are you?" Junior asked, looking everywhere for her.
"Outside in the garden." Diane said.
"The garden?" Junior put Gobo back on the mantle and raced
out of the room.
Once he was gone Diane raced over and tied the string
around her waist. She tried climbing but found it
impossible, she was just not strong enough.
"Hang on!" Gobo shouted. He signaled and the string was
pulled into the wall.
A minute passed and she was on the mantle when Junior
appeared in the doorway, seeing his princess about to
disappear through a crack in the wall he moved quickly.
Junior crossed the room in seconds and missed them by inches.
He did however grab the string that Diane had tied around her
waist.
"Come back princess." Junior said, pulling the string.
There was some initial resistance but that soon gave way and
Junior pulled the string back into the room. Diane however
was not attached too it.
"Dawg Gon-it!" he shouted. "I lost my funny talking
princess! Maw!"
Diane leaned against the wall of the cave listening to the
gorgs disappointment over her departure. Beside her Gobo,
Red, Boober, Moki and Wembley did the same.
"Thank you." Diane said. "For a while I thought it might
be my destiny to be a gorg princess."
"That's ok," Gobo said, "after all you did save me from
Junior. Come on, lets go."
They walked quietly through the passageways back to Fraggle
Rock. Gobo explained to Diane that there were dangerous
creatures who lived in the cracks in the gorg castle, that
was why he had taken so long to find her room. The only
danger they encountered before they got to the Rock itself
came when Diane was told how long it would take the Trashheap
to grow another mushroom.
"A year!" she shouted, awakening the great spider that
lived in the foundations of the castle. Luckily they
were able to loose the creature in a side cave.
When they finally got back to the great pool Diane took the
water Red offered her and considered what a year in Fraggle
Rock would mean. She would never get her book to the editor
on time, she would never see Sam, he would think she had no
interest if she missed the six month deadline they had both
set.
How would she explain the time away to her friends? More
importantly how could she explain Fraggle Rock without being
put into an insane asylum?
"Doozer stick?" Moki offered.
"Thanks." Diane took the stick and nibbled on it, this one
tasted a bit like strawberries.
"If you'd like you can stay with me in my cave." Moki said.
"I have plenty of room."
Diane stood up and paced, her mind racing. She'd loose the
publishers advance and probably be sued, she'd go to jail and
spend time with girls with names like "Moose" or "Rocko" if
she ever did tell anyone about Fraggle Rock she would either
be called crazy or laughed at.
Suddenly going back to "Outer Space" didn't seem like a
good idea to her.
"You can stay as long as you want." Moki said, trying to
keep up with Diane's pacing.
"You know I think I will." Diane said. "I like it here,
I don't have to worry about Sam or Fraiser or anyone else."
"You mean your not leaving when the Trashheap grows you
another mushroom?" Gobo asked.
"No I'm not." Diane said. "I'm staying in Fraggle Rock for
as long as you let me."
In response they all cheered and a party was planned for
the next day.
The next day the great Fraggle Horn was sounded, all the
Fraggles gathered and were introduced to Diane. There
followed one of the greatest parties ever to be held in
The Rock.
That night Diane and Moki, who also had a fondness for
diary's and poems, exchanged notes on the occasion. As she
drifted off to sleep that night Diane wondered if she might
ever again see "Outer Space." Then she remembered all the
problems, romantic, financial, emotional and others she had
had in her life. Just before she fell asleep Diane decided
that "Outer Space" could stay in outer space. She was happy
where she was.
"Down in Fraggle Rock." Diane whispered.
END