Do you dream?
I usued to dream. i dreampt of fantastic, impossible things. I had this one dream, usued to have it all the time. It was so real. Oh! How I wanted it to be real! In this dream I had a famly that loved me, friends that respected me. A job as the Hokage. I was loved and respected by everyone. I had wonderful kids...I was complete...And yet, somthing was missing.
Thinking back now, I realixed what was missing. I was missing. Sure , that person had my face, my voice, and was, physically, everything I was. but thats all, just a shell, a shadow. He was happy, and I am not. He had a family, I do not, nor do I have any of the other things he had. My shadow was happy, but I am not.
But thats what makes me me. He is the culmination of all of the things in his life gone right. And that is NOt me. And thats when I realized it. The biggest, most freeing realization of my life. I am me, and do one else. No one in this world has my memories, my experience...and my sorrows, my pains, suffering. Everything about me is unique. If I was that...thing, then I would't be me. I would be him.
I don't dream anymore, haven't since I made this realization, so many years ago. Somtimes I miss it. That feeling of acceptace and happyness I felt in those dreams. But that isn't mine, it's his. And I could never have somthing like that...not while I am what I am.
So I wait, and I hope. Hope that someday I will find somthing for me, whateaver it is. And THAT is the reason I don't dream anymore.
I usued to dream. i dreampt of fantastic, impossible things. I had this one dream, usued to have it all the time. It was so real. Oh! How I wanted it to be real! In this dream I had a famly that loved me, friends that respected me. A job as the Hokage. I was loved and respected by everyone. I had wonderful kids...I was complete...And yet, somthing was missing.
Thinking back now, I realixed what was missing. I was missing. Sure , that person had my face, my voice, and was, physically, everything I was. but thats all, just a shell, a shadow. He was happy, and I am not. He had a family, I do not, nor do I have any of the other things he had. My shadow was happy, but I am not.
But thats what makes me me. He is the culmination of all of the things in his life gone right. And that is NOt me. And thats when I realized it. The biggest, most freeing realization of my life. I am me, and do one else. No one in this world has my memories, my experience...and my sorrows, my pains, suffering. Everything about me is unique. If I was that...thing, then I would't be me. I would be him.
I don't dream anymore, haven't since I made this realization, so many years ago. Somtimes I miss it. That feeling of acceptace and happyness I felt in those dreams. But that isn't mine, it's his. And I could never have somthing like that...not while I am what I am.
So I wait, and I hope. Hope that someday I will find somthing for me, whateaver it is. And THAT is the reason I don't dream anymore.