Thanks to some good appeal, I've decided to put all my fics up for
viewing here at FanFiction.net.(Starting with regular Fics, then some
MSTs of mine)
Here's another bottle from the Chenalos Cellar: "Fan Fiction"
OK, written in my early years, and spreading across a long line of
time, I present to you "Fan Fiction" My Sophomoric Evangelion/Pulp
Fiction crossover/fusion. The authors notes will all be a little strange.
First of all I mention A1BoogZ Alot. He, more or less, was the
driving factor behind this being written. He's on FanFiction.net
"Al-I-bus" If you haven't read his stuff, you're not really an evafic
reader. write in his Review columb that Chen sent ya.
Lots of wrath toward Addison Goddel. That's just a whole
shitpile I don't wanna stir anymore, so just ignore those rants. All
in all enjoy this OOC little tidbit of evafiction.
"Fan Fiction" C.A. Feb 1999 - October, 26 1999
@5@
@4@
@3@
@2@
@*@
-------------------------------------------------------
Chenalos is at the Notepad...Take cover!
"Hmmmmm, what's a movie I like? Ohhh, I know! Rei and Asuka don't get along,
this will change all that. But, that's too complex I shall shorten it down"
This story was inspired by a picture I saw of Rei in a beautiful full-body
dress, and Asuka in fine loose slacks. Ohh, yeah, and a movie by Quentin
Tarantino.
Spoiler alert, 'yall been warned.
***SPELL-CHECKED-VERSION***
I wrote it...but Gainax owns most of this stuff, and ADV kind of owns it too.
If you REALLY want to get picky Miramax has some influence. Hey guys, please
don't sue me.
Chenalos presents:
Neon Genesis Evangelions'
Fan
Fiction
(Yeah, why not?)
It was a warm morning in Tokyo-3, The city looks like pure metal when the
light hits it just right. Miles of steel wrapped around glass and concrete,
jetting skyward, pointing to the clouds. From around a corner a bright red
2010 Suzuki Kitana blackened the pavement with it's rapidly over-spinning
wheels. Here, in this car, we find the lead players of our story. The
driver, a beautiful Red haired girl with deep blue eyes, and the passenger,
a beautiful blue haired girl with deep red eyes.
"By the way, Rei, I forgot to mention, that is a really nice dress."
"Thank you." she said quietly
"Aren't you worried about getting it dirty, or something?"
"I can afford the cleaning bills. I'm not going to let my job interfere
with how good I deserve to look. But, I still think I look better in a plug
suit."
"I HATE those things, too much...male attention, the drooling mostly."
"Yeah, but don't they just feel so free?"
"When I want to feel free, I'll get naked in my own room, I don't have to
wear some nipple-pinching rubber suit."
"I wonder what the Plug suit for EVA-01 feels like?" wondered Rei aloud
"I'm willing to wager it's 'Guy friendly'."
"Yeah" said Rei, her eyes drifting off to the sky, her soul in a deep
relief, and a smile forming on her face.
"Woah, Earth to Rei, come in Rei, what's that about?"
"Oh, nothing." Rei said quickly
Asuka stared at her for a moment, nodded while saying "Ok". For a brief
time, the car remained on a straight line path. Suddenly Asuka hit the
brakes as hard as she could. The Kitana screeched to a hurried stop,
sending Rei, who almost hit the dash board. Asuka quickly swung to look
over her shoulder, and slammed the car into reverse. She swivelled it into
a parking spot, and roared forward, nearly rear-ending the car in front of
her, before finally ripping up the parking brake.
"Why did you do that?" said Rei in a calm voice
"Please Ayanami, I can tell from a mile away something Earth shatteringly
wonderful happened to you recently. We have been partners for almost a
year, are you gonna start hiding stuff from me now? What is it? What's got
you up there?"
Rei looked at Asuka silently for a moment, blinking once. She leaned back
into her seat shut her deep ruby eyes, and took a deep breath.
"...Kaoru..." she whispered
"WHAT?"
"Two weeks ago, I met this really cute guy, an albino just like me. He just
walked up to me on the street one day, and said for me to see this
briefcase of his. I figured 'ok whatever'. He took me into this hotel, and
opened up the briefcase. There was this beautiful thing inside, I just had
to have it. Kaoru said the man who had it, Marcellous somthin-or-other,
didn't want it anymore. He said I could have it, if I did him a favor..."
"What was the favor?"
Rei blushed slightly
"Just to relax. So I did, and then...he untied my dress..."
"OK, wait a minute! Some guy flashes you a toy in a case and all of a
sudden, you become a call girl?"
"You should have seen it though, when I saw that immaculate object in that
case, I thought; if he wanted it he could have kept it for himself, but he
gave it to me. That was the first time I ever really understood romance,
true romance. So I did it for him."
"What happened?"
A HUGE smile formed on Rei's face
"I guess it was good. He called me 'wonder girl'."
"WONDER GIRL?!" Asuka exclaimed
"He was great too." Rei shrugged her shoulders tight, and shook
euphorically, releasing the tension it built up. "ohhh, Just doing it is so
relieving, don't you think?"
"Well...not for me, the last guy I had, would just bomb me! BAM, BAM, BAM!
It felt good...but...like...too good...you know what I mean?"
"Ohh yes, I know exactly how you feel..." Rei's eye shot away from Asuka, as
her look grew playfully more smug,"...virgin..."
"SKREW YOU, WONDERGIRL!" she said starting the car
"Been there."
Asuka pulled away from the curb and stared down the street at tremendous
speeds.
"Well, for your information, I happen to be in no hurry."
"Life is short, have fun."
"I believe in having fun, I just don't think getting rammrodded as soon as
my figure fills out is the right approach for it."
"You are attracting a lot of attention though. I can think of fifty or more
guys who would love a starry eyed, red-headed kraut like you by their
side."
Asuka smiled "Thanks, pinkeye. Name one that I should be interested in."
"What about the bosses son?"
"SHINJI? The third child? What are you, stupid? We barley even see him, and
when we do, he acts like we're some kind of evil alien women race."
"He's only shy, he needs a little encouragement."
"He needs to grow up. Saw him the other day with a bag in his hands. He set
the bag down for a moment to hit the john, when I looked inside, there it
was "La Bluegirl 4000". That little hentai spends his time getting off on
carto...Oh, wait, did I miss it?"
"No; it's up here on the right. That's why you'd be great for him, he loves
big deep eyes, and you got'em, you European fox, you."
"Look; I can't work for Gendo, then screw his son. It'd look like I'm
kissing ass. Getting Shinji, would be combining business and pleasure, you
know that."
"Speaking of business, what's on the menu today?"
"Sig-530s"replied Asuka
"Sigs? For this job we should be using Evas, then they don't have the
common curtousy to at least give us some positron mini-guns?"
"We're big girls now Rei, we can't hide behind EVAs forever. This guy is
11th on the list, he's our size, so no worries."
They pulled up beside a run-down building in the old section of Tokyo-3,
set up before the metropolis was built around it. Rei reached into the back
seat and retrieved a plastic case, she opened it up, revealing 2 530 model
..45 handguns by Sig-ammunitions, and four clips.
"I got the silver one." called Asuka
"But last time we fought an angel, you got the positron gun, why do you
always have to call the best weapons?"
"Because, I'm the best."
"Nice try, Oh humble Job, but I get the silver this time."
"I got silver, it's a purity thing."
"You wanna get decked? If so keep up this 'prissy Princess of innocence'
attitude." Rei looked at Asuka unthreateningly, but seriously enough to get
her point across. Asuka complied by saying;
"OK fine, odds."
"Evens." replied Rei
Asuka: "On three. One..."
Rei: "two..."
"Three!" they said together
Asuka held out three fingers, as opposed to Rei's four. Rei slapped Asuka's
hand away, and slumped slightly into the corner of the car seat. Asuka
smiled, and grasped the silver gat. It was heavy in her delicate, feminine
hand, but she knew how to use it. She tightened the muscles in her arm and
held the gun perfectly straight. Rei grabbed the black metal pistol, and
immediately locked and loaded it. Asuka took the clip and inserted, she drew
back the guns action.
"I'm ready." claimed Asuka
"OK, let's bag this angel." answered Rei
They went inside and made their way up the decrepit staircase, the echo of
rotting boards under their feet. They reached room 20, and Asuka knocked on
the door.
"Hello? We're from Nerv, We're here to give you the magic show."
There was a long silence, then a near muted voice said timidly;
"uhh, I...I don't want a magic show."
Asuka and Rei exchanged a glance.
Rei raised her gun, and pointed it at the knob. Five shots resounded from
her barrel, tearing the weak steel from the doorframe. The knob broke down
and fell to the floor. Asuka kicked the door in, and they stared at the
11th angel, eating pizza and drinking soda on his couch.
"It's a really neat magic show, we insit." spoke Rei
"Yeah, wanna see it? Huh?" said Asuka childishly
"uuuhh, Ok."
"The only problem is, Its not free."
"That should cover it." said Rei, looking at a briefcase on the counter
"Maybe, let's check."
Asuka bounded to the kitchen and leaned up against the counter. She turned
the case to face her and flipped the latches. The case hissed at her as it
opened, and the light from inside highlighted the object at hand.
"Will that cover it?"
"Sure will, Rei. Now he can see our tricks." She returned to the living
room, and stood in front of the angel, "Ok first trick." Asuka held her
hands in the air, and did a full 360 spin.
"See anything?" she asked the angel
"No, nothing, just...well what you're wearing."
"You like what I'm wearing?"
"Well uh, yeh, I mean yeah, you know, I'm no expert but you...uhh...you
look good."
"thank you." she said as she grinned, "Now watch my hands very carefully."
Asuka Put her hands behind her back, suddenly Rei screamed;
"Saw it."
"So what? You've seen this trick already."
"Why don't you turn around, show him what's really behind your back."
"Shut up, Rei. I'm doing this."
"Geez, first I LET you use the silver one, and now, you can't do the trick
right."
"Ok fine." Asuka turned around "Now, you see anything on my back?"
"No." said the angel
"Ok I told you, there Rei, I was doing it right. Now,..." Asuka swung
around with lightning speed, and clicked the hammer to her gun. She
pointed the weapon square at the angel's head.
"WOOOAH!" the Angel screamed, "Where'd that come from?"
"Magic" she said.
Her ocean azure eyes traced a line down the sleek metal pistol, right to
the angels forehead. Then without warning, Asuka swung around, and pointed
her gun directly at Rei's face. Rei opened her eyes in surprise, and held
one cupped hand out towards Asuka. Asuka's look went suddenly cold, as she
began to apply pressure to the trigger.
"Sorry wondergirl, I may get your dress dirty."
The angel held his pillow tight, as Asuka finally squeezed the trigger. The
bullet flew into the air with a resounding blast, flying towards Rei at
blistering speed, Rei closed her eyes tightly, but that did her no good.
The bullet impacted. It hit a glowing polygon inches from Rei's eyes.. The
bullet stopped suddenly, as if it had no momentum in the first place, it
slid down the AT field, and landed silently in Rei's outstretched hand. She
opened her eyes, and held the bullet defiantly at Asuka, in between her
thumb and pointer finger. She then lobbed it into the angels' soda.. It
made a hissing sound, as it was instantly cooled by the fluid.
"Neat trick, huh?" Said Asuka playfully
"She's, She's..."
"She's none of your business, right now your problems are...me."
Asuka re-pointed her gun, once again at the angel's face. The angel looked
away as Asuka depressed the trigger. One by one the bullets became
epicenters on the angel's AT field. The field hummed as the caps impacted
on it's surface. Asuka looked depressingly at the angel's AT field.
"Hey, Rei did you see that?"
"I did." Said Rei, approaching the AT field. she tapped it a few times then
leaned on the side of it.
"This is an AT field."
"And, there's no way to penetrate it, right?"
"I am afraid so. Absolute Terror fields are legendary for being impossible
to penetrate, but they can be neutralised."
"How?" asked Asuka
"Like this."
Rei jumped sideways, and passed through the AT field with ease. She drew
her black pistol, and fired into the angels shoulder. He cupped his hand to
the wound, as an eerie blue blood seeped from the puncture. The AT field
vanished, endgame had come. Rei looked so cold behind the trigger, like
she had no emotion whatsoever. Her eyes neither pitying, nor hating,
gleamed only nothingness to the angel. Then, however she paused, lowering
her gun.
"Have you ever read the Dead Sea Scrolls?"
The angel, locked in his chair, could do nothing but hold his wound and try
to catch his breath. He gave no reply.
"No? Well, perhaps you would like to hear a verse. Zadokite 1:20;
'You call to your father in anger, my name is forgotten. You look to me and
say, 'he is the source of my grief'. Yet, the one who causes you grief is
among you, he is the scoffer. He mocks my name day and night, in full view
of men. Abolishing the ways of righteousness and removing the boundary with
which the forefathers had marked out their inheritance. I will not be
scoffed. Therefore, glorify me and you shall see the greatness of my
kingdom. I delivered you to your inheritance. If you stand in the way of
scoffers; you deny me, and all that I have done. You shall not be spared.
The bush burned, yet was not consumed, therefore all who seek me shall not
be consumed by my might."
Rei raised her gun, and shouted the final line, the last thing that the
angel heard.
"All those that mock my name, and ally themselves with the evil one, shall
burn."
The guns resounded, The angel screamed, and his blood flew everywhere.
-Chapter 1-
Certain Interests, and Their Consequences.
-----------------------------------------
Later that Day, close to one, Asuka and Rei pulled into the lot just
outside the Geo-front. Asuka stepped out, and put the keys in her pocket.
Rei got out, holding the case which was of such importance to Gendo. They
approached the entrance as a familiar figure was just leaving.
"Hiya, Shinji!" Said Asuka
"Hello, Shinji." added Rei
"Oh-um, hi, girls."
"Whatcha doing?" asked Asuka
"uhhh, nothing, well not nothing, I mean actually, I uhh, was just uhh,
gonna, you know..."
Asuka forced a smile, one of her most hated activitys; playing nice girl.
'What am I supposed to do?' she thought 'It's the bosses son.' The smile
spread within the group, and Asuka, Shinji and Rei found themselves with
ridiculous false smiles plastered on there faces, and an air of
uncomfortable silence trapping them all. Quiet was maintained for at least
15 seconds until...
"We have to get this case to Gendo" spoke Rei
"Ohh, yeah, your dad is psyched about this, Shinji." Said Asuka, walking
away.
"Whe... well, uh, what is it?"
The girls got in an elevator bound for the Geo-fronts surface.
"We could tell you, but then we would have to kill you."
The line seemed cliché. There was no threat in it, but it scared Shinji..
This is because the last thing he could see as the elevator door closed,
was the glint of Asuka's pistol, tucked away inside her vest. Worried that
Asuka might be telling the truth, his eyes widened, and he quickly walked
away.
"THERE! You see what I mean, Rei?"
"I told you, he's just shy."
"That's not shy, that's clueless! He is totally clueless. Is it just when
he sees us, or is he like that around everyone? 'Uhhhhhhh, nothing I'm not
doing anything, just uhhhhhh, uhhhhhhh.' Dunkoff!"
"His reaction was merely because we caught him off guard."
"He is constantly off guard. The only thing he is ever ready for is making
excuses, and he even goofed that up."
"I just think you ought to give him a better chance."
"A better chance? Chance at what? Are you implying that Him and I..."
"No, not really, though the thought did cross my mind."
"Well the only thing on my mind is getting this case to Commander Ikari."
"Well, we're there." spoke Rei as the elevator pulled to a stop.
The door opened and the Girls walked to Gendo's private office, renowned
for being one of the longest offices in existence. There, at his desk,
Gendo sat, his arms, bent upwards at the elbows. His hands folded in front
of his mouth. Rei approached the desk, Asuka standing behind her. The
albino girl set the case to face Gendo. As she opened it up; it hissed,
light came from inside. The light reflected in Gendo's glasses, an behind
his hands, he smiled.
"I trust the target is silent."
"Yes, sir." they both replied
"Excellent. In that case, I can move on to more pressing matters." Gendo
closed the case, and set it at his feet. "Asuka, stay here. Rei, you may go
now."
Asuka began to become nervous. Other than Fuyutsuki, few people were ever
allowed a one on one with the commander. Asuka took a seat before the
leader of NERV. The door shut behind Rei.
"What is it, sir?" she asked worriedly
"How many Eva pilots are there, Asuka?"
"Three sir; Me, Rei, and your son."
"You Eva pilots are NERVs prime assets, you do know that don't you?"
"I suppose so, sir."
"It is a position held with pride, don't you think?"
"Yes, sir."
"SEELE takes great pride in the Eva pilots as well, because they come across
as not only courageous defenders, but also normal young teenagers."
"I guess we do, sir."
"Not pilot Ikari."
Asuka could not believe her ears, Gendo was insulting his own son? That was
her job. Why did Gendo suddenly take the offensive on Shinji?
"What do you mean, sir?"
"At Shinji's age, certain...interests...begin to prioritise over all
others. Shinji, however seems to lack these interests. That is where I need
your help."
"Well, how can I help, sir?"
"Don't you understand? I want you to take something from my son."
"What do you want me to take, sir?"
"His virginity."
"WHAT? You want me to sleep with Shinji?"
"Correct."
"I won't do it."
"Asuka, it's this simple. SEELE wants to be sure that all the Eva pilots
are "normal". Shinji being his age, It would be "normal" for him to seek
out the bed-presence of a female. It is also "normal" for you, yourself to
desire the bed-presence of a male. However, you seem not to desire this, as
I offer you Shinji, but you refuse. I am led to believe you are not
"normal"...Perhaps we should find a "normal" girl to pilot Evangelion unit
2."
"Ohhh, so that's how it is, huh? I assure you I am "normal", it's
just....well, uh, Why don't you get Rei to do it?"
Gendo's eyes grew so much from the shock of hearing this. The very thought
made him sick.
"I have my reasons."
"Choose someone else."
"Asuka, I chose you. Here is what is going to happen. Tonight at 7:00 PM
you will pull into my driveway, I will not be home but Shinji will be, you
will come inside, have some laughs, and get to know one another. You will
then take him out to wherever you agree to go. At 10:00 PM you will return
to my house and invite yourself inside. At 10:30 PM, you both are to go
upstairs together...You know what I want by 10:32."
"DAMMIT, GENDO, I AM NOT A GEISHA! I AM AN EVA PILOT."
"I am aware of that, pilot. Know this, if the scenario is not executed as I
have said, you shall be deemed 'not normal'. New pilot selection will begin
immediately. Then, maybe you will be a geisha."
Asuka's fist flew through the air. It connected with a loud metal clang. She
swung again, her knuckles impacting on the surface of the locker.
"It's not that bad, Asuka." said Rei
"Rei, I'm about to loose my virginity to an idiot I don't even like." she
whined
"Well, then just say you're starting your period. Gendo won't put you
through childbirth."
"He's already done the math ahead of me. Damn, everybody seems to know when
I'm going through that."
"Could you just lie about it?"
"If I did, he'd just get the answers outta Shinji."
"Well then it looks like you have a choice ahead."
"What choice?"
"Which do you want more; your maidenhood, or your EVA?"
To be continued...
HEY, I'M AN ISPIRATION! A1-I-Bus read this volume of "Fan Fiction" and said
he wanted in on the ground floor. His fanfic is titled "Pulp Evangelion".
It was inspired by this story and it has close match character
descriptions, but I guarantee you it is just as original as it can be.
Check out "Pulp Evangelion".
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE WONDERING:
Geisha (Art Person)---Dictionary definition: a Japanese girl or woman who
is trained to provide entertaining and light-hearted company esp. for a man
or group of men
-according to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition
The way I wrote it in, it looked like Geisha could be synonymous with
"whore" I wanted to clarify that this is not true. Although it is perfectly
plausible that Geisha may be paid for sex as well as company, it must be
pointed out that I did not just mean "whore". Besides, being paid to act
like someone's best friend? How insulted would Asuka be? ALOT!
Well, glad I survived that. Don't miss "Fan Fiction" Part 2:
_Contemplation_
If you know the story behind this stories dedication, than you want to send
hatemail here:
Chenalos@aol.com
If you could give less of a flying fruit about the dedication, but thought
that the story was cool, or if you hate it, send mail. send mail all of
you. I LOVE mail send it please pleas please.
uh,
Steberb@regents.ac.uk
viewing here at FanFiction.net.(Starting with regular Fics, then some
MSTs of mine)
Here's another bottle from the Chenalos Cellar: "Fan Fiction"
OK, written in my early years, and spreading across a long line of
time, I present to you "Fan Fiction" My Sophomoric Evangelion/Pulp
Fiction crossover/fusion. The authors notes will all be a little strange.
First of all I mention A1BoogZ Alot. He, more or less, was the
driving factor behind this being written. He's on FanFiction.net
"Al-I-bus" If you haven't read his stuff, you're not really an evafic
reader. write in his Review columb that Chen sent ya.
Lots of wrath toward Addison Goddel. That's just a whole
shitpile I don't wanna stir anymore, so just ignore those rants. All
in all enjoy this OOC little tidbit of evafiction.
"Fan Fiction" C.A. Feb 1999 - October, 26 1999
@5@
@4@
@3@
@2@
@*@
-------------------------------------------------------
Chenalos is at the Notepad...Take cover!
"Hmmmmm, what's a movie I like? Ohhh, I know! Rei and Asuka don't get along,
this will change all that. But, that's too complex I shall shorten it down"
This story was inspired by a picture I saw of Rei in a beautiful full-body
dress, and Asuka in fine loose slacks. Ohh, yeah, and a movie by Quentin
Tarantino.
Spoiler alert, 'yall been warned.
***SPELL-CHECKED-VERSION***
I wrote it...but Gainax owns most of this stuff, and ADV kind of owns it too.
If you REALLY want to get picky Miramax has some influence. Hey guys, please
don't sue me.
Chenalos presents:
Neon Genesis Evangelions'
Fan
Fiction
(Yeah, why not?)
It was a warm morning in Tokyo-3, The city looks like pure metal when the
light hits it just right. Miles of steel wrapped around glass and concrete,
jetting skyward, pointing to the clouds. From around a corner a bright red
2010 Suzuki Kitana blackened the pavement with it's rapidly over-spinning
wheels. Here, in this car, we find the lead players of our story. The
driver, a beautiful Red haired girl with deep blue eyes, and the passenger,
a beautiful blue haired girl with deep red eyes.
"By the way, Rei, I forgot to mention, that is a really nice dress."
"Thank you." she said quietly
"Aren't you worried about getting it dirty, or something?"
"I can afford the cleaning bills. I'm not going to let my job interfere
with how good I deserve to look. But, I still think I look better in a plug
suit."
"I HATE those things, too much...male attention, the drooling mostly."
"Yeah, but don't they just feel so free?"
"When I want to feel free, I'll get naked in my own room, I don't have to
wear some nipple-pinching rubber suit."
"I wonder what the Plug suit for EVA-01 feels like?" wondered Rei aloud
"I'm willing to wager it's 'Guy friendly'."
"Yeah" said Rei, her eyes drifting off to the sky, her soul in a deep
relief, and a smile forming on her face.
"Woah, Earth to Rei, come in Rei, what's that about?"
"Oh, nothing." Rei said quickly
Asuka stared at her for a moment, nodded while saying "Ok". For a brief
time, the car remained on a straight line path. Suddenly Asuka hit the
brakes as hard as she could. The Kitana screeched to a hurried stop,
sending Rei, who almost hit the dash board. Asuka quickly swung to look
over her shoulder, and slammed the car into reverse. She swivelled it into
a parking spot, and roared forward, nearly rear-ending the car in front of
her, before finally ripping up the parking brake.
"Why did you do that?" said Rei in a calm voice
"Please Ayanami, I can tell from a mile away something Earth shatteringly
wonderful happened to you recently. We have been partners for almost a
year, are you gonna start hiding stuff from me now? What is it? What's got
you up there?"
Rei looked at Asuka silently for a moment, blinking once. She leaned back
into her seat shut her deep ruby eyes, and took a deep breath.
"...Kaoru..." she whispered
"WHAT?"
"Two weeks ago, I met this really cute guy, an albino just like me. He just
walked up to me on the street one day, and said for me to see this
briefcase of his. I figured 'ok whatever'. He took me into this hotel, and
opened up the briefcase. There was this beautiful thing inside, I just had
to have it. Kaoru said the man who had it, Marcellous somthin-or-other,
didn't want it anymore. He said I could have it, if I did him a favor..."
"What was the favor?"
Rei blushed slightly
"Just to relax. So I did, and then...he untied my dress..."
"OK, wait a minute! Some guy flashes you a toy in a case and all of a
sudden, you become a call girl?"
"You should have seen it though, when I saw that immaculate object in that
case, I thought; if he wanted it he could have kept it for himself, but he
gave it to me. That was the first time I ever really understood romance,
true romance. So I did it for him."
"What happened?"
A HUGE smile formed on Rei's face
"I guess it was good. He called me 'wonder girl'."
"WONDER GIRL?!" Asuka exclaimed
"He was great too." Rei shrugged her shoulders tight, and shook
euphorically, releasing the tension it built up. "ohhh, Just doing it is so
relieving, don't you think?"
"Well...not for me, the last guy I had, would just bomb me! BAM, BAM, BAM!
It felt good...but...like...too good...you know what I mean?"
"Ohh yes, I know exactly how you feel..." Rei's eye shot away from Asuka, as
her look grew playfully more smug,"...virgin..."
"SKREW YOU, WONDERGIRL!" she said starting the car
"Been there."
Asuka pulled away from the curb and stared down the street at tremendous
speeds.
"Well, for your information, I happen to be in no hurry."
"Life is short, have fun."
"I believe in having fun, I just don't think getting rammrodded as soon as
my figure fills out is the right approach for it."
"You are attracting a lot of attention though. I can think of fifty or more
guys who would love a starry eyed, red-headed kraut like you by their
side."
Asuka smiled "Thanks, pinkeye. Name one that I should be interested in."
"What about the bosses son?"
"SHINJI? The third child? What are you, stupid? We barley even see him, and
when we do, he acts like we're some kind of evil alien women race."
"He's only shy, he needs a little encouragement."
"He needs to grow up. Saw him the other day with a bag in his hands. He set
the bag down for a moment to hit the john, when I looked inside, there it
was "La Bluegirl 4000". That little hentai spends his time getting off on
carto...Oh, wait, did I miss it?"
"No; it's up here on the right. That's why you'd be great for him, he loves
big deep eyes, and you got'em, you European fox, you."
"Look; I can't work for Gendo, then screw his son. It'd look like I'm
kissing ass. Getting Shinji, would be combining business and pleasure, you
know that."
"Speaking of business, what's on the menu today?"
"Sig-530s"replied Asuka
"Sigs? For this job we should be using Evas, then they don't have the
common curtousy to at least give us some positron mini-guns?"
"We're big girls now Rei, we can't hide behind EVAs forever. This guy is
11th on the list, he's our size, so no worries."
They pulled up beside a run-down building in the old section of Tokyo-3,
set up before the metropolis was built around it. Rei reached into the back
seat and retrieved a plastic case, she opened it up, revealing 2 530 model
..45 handguns by Sig-ammunitions, and four clips.
"I got the silver one." called Asuka
"But last time we fought an angel, you got the positron gun, why do you
always have to call the best weapons?"
"Because, I'm the best."
"Nice try, Oh humble Job, but I get the silver this time."
"I got silver, it's a purity thing."
"You wanna get decked? If so keep up this 'prissy Princess of innocence'
attitude." Rei looked at Asuka unthreateningly, but seriously enough to get
her point across. Asuka complied by saying;
"OK fine, odds."
"Evens." replied Rei
Asuka: "On three. One..."
Rei: "two..."
"Three!" they said together
Asuka held out three fingers, as opposed to Rei's four. Rei slapped Asuka's
hand away, and slumped slightly into the corner of the car seat. Asuka
smiled, and grasped the silver gat. It was heavy in her delicate, feminine
hand, but she knew how to use it. She tightened the muscles in her arm and
held the gun perfectly straight. Rei grabbed the black metal pistol, and
immediately locked and loaded it. Asuka took the clip and inserted, she drew
back the guns action.
"I'm ready." claimed Asuka
"OK, let's bag this angel." answered Rei
They went inside and made their way up the decrepit staircase, the echo of
rotting boards under their feet. They reached room 20, and Asuka knocked on
the door.
"Hello? We're from Nerv, We're here to give you the magic show."
There was a long silence, then a near muted voice said timidly;
"uhh, I...I don't want a magic show."
Asuka and Rei exchanged a glance.
Rei raised her gun, and pointed it at the knob. Five shots resounded from
her barrel, tearing the weak steel from the doorframe. The knob broke down
and fell to the floor. Asuka kicked the door in, and they stared at the
11th angel, eating pizza and drinking soda on his couch.
"It's a really neat magic show, we insit." spoke Rei
"Yeah, wanna see it? Huh?" said Asuka childishly
"uuuhh, Ok."
"The only problem is, Its not free."
"That should cover it." said Rei, looking at a briefcase on the counter
"Maybe, let's check."
Asuka bounded to the kitchen and leaned up against the counter. She turned
the case to face her and flipped the latches. The case hissed at her as it
opened, and the light from inside highlighted the object at hand.
"Will that cover it?"
"Sure will, Rei. Now he can see our tricks." She returned to the living
room, and stood in front of the angel, "Ok first trick." Asuka held her
hands in the air, and did a full 360 spin.
"See anything?" she asked the angel
"No, nothing, just...well what you're wearing."
"You like what I'm wearing?"
"Well uh, yeh, I mean yeah, you know, I'm no expert but you...uhh...you
look good."
"thank you." she said as she grinned, "Now watch my hands very carefully."
Asuka Put her hands behind her back, suddenly Rei screamed;
"Saw it."
"So what? You've seen this trick already."
"Why don't you turn around, show him what's really behind your back."
"Shut up, Rei. I'm doing this."
"Geez, first I LET you use the silver one, and now, you can't do the trick
right."
"Ok fine." Asuka turned around "Now, you see anything on my back?"
"No." said the angel
"Ok I told you, there Rei, I was doing it right. Now,..." Asuka swung
around with lightning speed, and clicked the hammer to her gun. She
pointed the weapon square at the angel's head.
"WOOOAH!" the Angel screamed, "Where'd that come from?"
"Magic" she said.
Her ocean azure eyes traced a line down the sleek metal pistol, right to
the angels forehead. Then without warning, Asuka swung around, and pointed
her gun directly at Rei's face. Rei opened her eyes in surprise, and held
one cupped hand out towards Asuka. Asuka's look went suddenly cold, as she
began to apply pressure to the trigger.
"Sorry wondergirl, I may get your dress dirty."
The angel held his pillow tight, as Asuka finally squeezed the trigger. The
bullet flew into the air with a resounding blast, flying towards Rei at
blistering speed, Rei closed her eyes tightly, but that did her no good.
The bullet impacted. It hit a glowing polygon inches from Rei's eyes.. The
bullet stopped suddenly, as if it had no momentum in the first place, it
slid down the AT field, and landed silently in Rei's outstretched hand. She
opened her eyes, and held the bullet defiantly at Asuka, in between her
thumb and pointer finger. She then lobbed it into the angels' soda.. It
made a hissing sound, as it was instantly cooled by the fluid.
"Neat trick, huh?" Said Asuka playfully
"She's, She's..."
"She's none of your business, right now your problems are...me."
Asuka re-pointed her gun, once again at the angel's face. The angel looked
away as Asuka depressed the trigger. One by one the bullets became
epicenters on the angel's AT field. The field hummed as the caps impacted
on it's surface. Asuka looked depressingly at the angel's AT field.
"Hey, Rei did you see that?"
"I did." Said Rei, approaching the AT field. she tapped it a few times then
leaned on the side of it.
"This is an AT field."
"And, there's no way to penetrate it, right?"
"I am afraid so. Absolute Terror fields are legendary for being impossible
to penetrate, but they can be neutralised."
"How?" asked Asuka
"Like this."
Rei jumped sideways, and passed through the AT field with ease. She drew
her black pistol, and fired into the angels shoulder. He cupped his hand to
the wound, as an eerie blue blood seeped from the puncture. The AT field
vanished, endgame had come. Rei looked so cold behind the trigger, like
she had no emotion whatsoever. Her eyes neither pitying, nor hating,
gleamed only nothingness to the angel. Then, however she paused, lowering
her gun.
"Have you ever read the Dead Sea Scrolls?"
The angel, locked in his chair, could do nothing but hold his wound and try
to catch his breath. He gave no reply.
"No? Well, perhaps you would like to hear a verse. Zadokite 1:20;
'You call to your father in anger, my name is forgotten. You look to me and
say, 'he is the source of my grief'. Yet, the one who causes you grief is
among you, he is the scoffer. He mocks my name day and night, in full view
of men. Abolishing the ways of righteousness and removing the boundary with
which the forefathers had marked out their inheritance. I will not be
scoffed. Therefore, glorify me and you shall see the greatness of my
kingdom. I delivered you to your inheritance. If you stand in the way of
scoffers; you deny me, and all that I have done. You shall not be spared.
The bush burned, yet was not consumed, therefore all who seek me shall not
be consumed by my might."
Rei raised her gun, and shouted the final line, the last thing that the
angel heard.
"All those that mock my name, and ally themselves with the evil one, shall
burn."
The guns resounded, The angel screamed, and his blood flew everywhere.
-Chapter 1-
Certain Interests, and Their Consequences.
-----------------------------------------
Later that Day, close to one, Asuka and Rei pulled into the lot just
outside the Geo-front. Asuka stepped out, and put the keys in her pocket.
Rei got out, holding the case which was of such importance to Gendo. They
approached the entrance as a familiar figure was just leaving.
"Hiya, Shinji!" Said Asuka
"Hello, Shinji." added Rei
"Oh-um, hi, girls."
"Whatcha doing?" asked Asuka
"uhhh, nothing, well not nothing, I mean actually, I uhh, was just uhh,
gonna, you know..."
Asuka forced a smile, one of her most hated activitys; playing nice girl.
'What am I supposed to do?' she thought 'It's the bosses son.' The smile
spread within the group, and Asuka, Shinji and Rei found themselves with
ridiculous false smiles plastered on there faces, and an air of
uncomfortable silence trapping them all. Quiet was maintained for at least
15 seconds until...
"We have to get this case to Gendo" spoke Rei
"Ohh, yeah, your dad is psyched about this, Shinji." Said Asuka, walking
away.
"Whe... well, uh, what is it?"
The girls got in an elevator bound for the Geo-fronts surface.
"We could tell you, but then we would have to kill you."
The line seemed cliché. There was no threat in it, but it scared Shinji..
This is because the last thing he could see as the elevator door closed,
was the glint of Asuka's pistol, tucked away inside her vest. Worried that
Asuka might be telling the truth, his eyes widened, and he quickly walked
away.
"THERE! You see what I mean, Rei?"
"I told you, he's just shy."
"That's not shy, that's clueless! He is totally clueless. Is it just when
he sees us, or is he like that around everyone? 'Uhhhhhhh, nothing I'm not
doing anything, just uhhhhhh, uhhhhhhh.' Dunkoff!"
"His reaction was merely because we caught him off guard."
"He is constantly off guard. The only thing he is ever ready for is making
excuses, and he even goofed that up."
"I just think you ought to give him a better chance."
"A better chance? Chance at what? Are you implying that Him and I..."
"No, not really, though the thought did cross my mind."
"Well the only thing on my mind is getting this case to Commander Ikari."
"Well, we're there." spoke Rei as the elevator pulled to a stop.
The door opened and the Girls walked to Gendo's private office, renowned
for being one of the longest offices in existence. There, at his desk,
Gendo sat, his arms, bent upwards at the elbows. His hands folded in front
of his mouth. Rei approached the desk, Asuka standing behind her. The
albino girl set the case to face Gendo. As she opened it up; it hissed,
light came from inside. The light reflected in Gendo's glasses, an behind
his hands, he smiled.
"I trust the target is silent."
"Yes, sir." they both replied
"Excellent. In that case, I can move on to more pressing matters." Gendo
closed the case, and set it at his feet. "Asuka, stay here. Rei, you may go
now."
Asuka began to become nervous. Other than Fuyutsuki, few people were ever
allowed a one on one with the commander. Asuka took a seat before the
leader of NERV. The door shut behind Rei.
"What is it, sir?" she asked worriedly
"How many Eva pilots are there, Asuka?"
"Three sir; Me, Rei, and your son."
"You Eva pilots are NERVs prime assets, you do know that don't you?"
"I suppose so, sir."
"It is a position held with pride, don't you think?"
"Yes, sir."
"SEELE takes great pride in the Eva pilots as well, because they come across
as not only courageous defenders, but also normal young teenagers."
"I guess we do, sir."
"Not pilot Ikari."
Asuka could not believe her ears, Gendo was insulting his own son? That was
her job. Why did Gendo suddenly take the offensive on Shinji?
"What do you mean, sir?"
"At Shinji's age, certain...interests...begin to prioritise over all
others. Shinji, however seems to lack these interests. That is where I need
your help."
"Well, how can I help, sir?"
"Don't you understand? I want you to take something from my son."
"What do you want me to take, sir?"
"His virginity."
"WHAT? You want me to sleep with Shinji?"
"Correct."
"I won't do it."
"Asuka, it's this simple. SEELE wants to be sure that all the Eva pilots
are "normal". Shinji being his age, It would be "normal" for him to seek
out the bed-presence of a female. It is also "normal" for you, yourself to
desire the bed-presence of a male. However, you seem not to desire this, as
I offer you Shinji, but you refuse. I am led to believe you are not
"normal"...Perhaps we should find a "normal" girl to pilot Evangelion unit
2."
"Ohhh, so that's how it is, huh? I assure you I am "normal", it's
just....well, uh, Why don't you get Rei to do it?"
Gendo's eyes grew so much from the shock of hearing this. The very thought
made him sick.
"I have my reasons."
"Choose someone else."
"Asuka, I chose you. Here is what is going to happen. Tonight at 7:00 PM
you will pull into my driveway, I will not be home but Shinji will be, you
will come inside, have some laughs, and get to know one another. You will
then take him out to wherever you agree to go. At 10:00 PM you will return
to my house and invite yourself inside. At 10:30 PM, you both are to go
upstairs together...You know what I want by 10:32."
"DAMMIT, GENDO, I AM NOT A GEISHA! I AM AN EVA PILOT."
"I am aware of that, pilot. Know this, if the scenario is not executed as I
have said, you shall be deemed 'not normal'. New pilot selection will begin
immediately. Then, maybe you will be a geisha."
Asuka's fist flew through the air. It connected with a loud metal clang. She
swung again, her knuckles impacting on the surface of the locker.
"It's not that bad, Asuka." said Rei
"Rei, I'm about to loose my virginity to an idiot I don't even like." she
whined
"Well, then just say you're starting your period. Gendo won't put you
through childbirth."
"He's already done the math ahead of me. Damn, everybody seems to know when
I'm going through that."
"Could you just lie about it?"
"If I did, he'd just get the answers outta Shinji."
"Well then it looks like you have a choice ahead."
"What choice?"
"Which do you want more; your maidenhood, or your EVA?"
To be continued...
HEY, I'M AN ISPIRATION! A1-I-Bus read this volume of "Fan Fiction" and said
he wanted in on the ground floor. His fanfic is titled "Pulp Evangelion".
It was inspired by this story and it has close match character
descriptions, but I guarantee you it is just as original as it can be.
Check out "Pulp Evangelion".
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE WONDERING:
Geisha (Art Person)---Dictionary definition: a Japanese girl or woman who
is trained to provide entertaining and light-hearted company esp. for a man
or group of men
-according to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition
The way I wrote it in, it looked like Geisha could be synonymous with
"whore" I wanted to clarify that this is not true. Although it is perfectly
plausible that Geisha may be paid for sex as well as company, it must be
pointed out that I did not just mean "whore". Besides, being paid to act
like someone's best friend? How insulted would Asuka be? ALOT!
Well, glad I survived that. Don't miss "Fan Fiction" Part 2:
_Contemplation_
If you know the story behind this stories dedication, than you want to send
hatemail here:
Chenalos@aol.com
If you could give less of a flying fruit about the dedication, but thought
that the story was cool, or if you hate it, send mail. send mail all of
you. I LOVE mail send it please pleas please.
uh,
Steberb@regents.ac.uk