I own nothing except the story line.

"Daddy?"

Levi grunted as he glanced away from his book to look down at Eren, who was playing with his toys on the floor.

Eren took that as a sign to continue. "How do you make a baby?"

Levi, who was drinking his tea, choked on the drink, coughing roughly when the liquid went down the wrong pipe. He set down the book and cup, trying to breath regularly. "W-what did you say?" He said hoarsely.

"How do you make a baby?" He repeated.

"Why do you want to know? Who taught you that nonsense?" Levi scowled, already feeling an oncoming headache arriving.

Eren paused. "Today in class we were learning about health and Connie asked where babies come from. Jean started saying he knew exactly where they came come, and I said he didn't and he said he did, and when I told him how, he said he once went into his parents room and they were wrestling naked on the bed, and they told him they were playing make believe, but when Jean asked his uncle, he told him they were making babies. Then we asked Ms. Hanji, and her face was red like a fire truck! She said it was something that two people in love do to have children. Then at recess, Mikasa told me she wanted to have babies with me and I said okay, but we don't know how." He stared at his dad with innocent green eyes. "Do we have to wrestle naked?"

Levi's eyes widened. What the fuck did they teach in the second grade?! "No!" He stopped, trying to calm down, his fist clenched tightly. "No. Don't wrestle naked, and do not ask Shitty Glasses -don't repeat that- anything again."

"But me and Mikasa want babies!"

"Eren."

"Daddy!"

"You're too young for that. Only grown ups get to make babies." He said.

"But last week me and Uncle Erwin saw a girl with a round belly and Uncle Erwin said that parents should really stop their children from getting pregnant. And when I asked what pregnant means, he says its when a baby being cooked in a girl's belly until it's ready to get out of the oven. Then he said to never say what he said to you. So if that girl can have babies, why can't I?" Eren argued, pouting.

Levi pinched the bridge of his nose. His friends are really asking for him to barricade Eren inside a bubble.

"Eren...It's only for people who are married. That girl was married too, that's why she could have babies. Understand?" He lied, sighing. All he wanted was a nice day off...

"Okay Daddy."

"I'm home!" Elisa called out to them, coming through the front door.

"Mommy!" Eren beamed, running out of the room into his mother's arms. "Mom, can Armin and Mikasa come tomorrow?"

"Of course they can!" Elisa smiled, carrying Eren back into the living room. "Hi Honey." She kissed Levi on the forehead, sitting down next to him. "What have my two favorite boys been talking about?"

"-I was telling him I can buy him candy if he behaved, right Eren?" Levi inputted before Eren could tell Elisa the whole baby thing. He did not need his wife to be mad at him again. Jeez, you ruin Christmas one time.

Eren nodded, thankfully going along with the story. "Yeah! He's going to let me get chocolate and gummy worms and..." He continued to ramble, already drooling at the prospect of getting candy.

Elise frowned. "Should you really be buying him that much candy? You know he get's sugar rushes."

Levi waved her off. "He's a kid. As long as he doesn't get anything dirty I'm okay with it." He gave a kiss to Elisa before standing up. "Alright Brat, time for your bath."

Eren nodded, running to his room for his things.

Eren waved happily as he saw Mikasa and Armin arrive. "You guys, hurry!" He ushered them to his room, making sure to close it. He sat them down and retold him what his dad told him.

"Does that mean we can't have babies?" Mikasa asked, disappointed.

"No," Eren shook his head. "We need to be married first. But we can do that now! Let's get married and then we can have babies!"

Armin tilted his head. "How do you get married?"

"An old man in a dress stands in front of the people and then says, 'Jesus says you are man and wife!' You can be the old man Armin!"

"Okay!"

"Come on, we can borrow my mom's dresses." They ran out of the room, and into his parent's.

...

"We are here for Mikasa's and Eren's wedding." Armin said, trying to sound serious. They were back in Eren's room, with stuffed animals aligned in rows.

Mikasa was wearing his mother's white dress, and toilet paper taped to her hair as a veil. Eren put on his own suit that her hold, but since he had no idea how to tie a tie, he did not wear one. Armin also had his mother's biggest dress. A red one since there was no other white dress.

"Do we have rings?" Armin asked.

"Yeah." Eren took out two Ring Pops, opening them and giving one to Mikasa. Both children put them on their fingers, grinning. "Done."

"Speak now if you do not want this wedding." Armin continued, speaking loudly.

"What's going on in here?" Levi opened Eren's door, raising an annoyed eyebrow at the sight in front of him. "Why are the two of you in my wife's dresses?"

"We're getting married Daddy!" Eren exclaimed, pointing to himself and Mikasa. "Then we can wrestle naked!"

"Stop saying that." Levi growled. "You too can't get married, you're children." He stepped into room, crossing his arms.

"But that's not fair! You said we need to be married."

"...I never said that. Look. You have to be over eighteen to be married. You're eight." Levi sat down on the bed, shaking his head. "Until you are taller than me and eighteen, you are not getting married, or...wrestling naked. So out of those dresses."

Mikasa glared at him as she got out of the dress, handing it over. Armin calmly gave it to him, grinning nervously.

"Just watch Dad! I'm going to grow older and have babies! And I'm almost taller than you!"

Levi's eye twitched at his son's cheek. That little...

"Just for that I'm hiding the rest of your candy."

"Aw, dad!" He groaned.

Levi leaned back in his chair, sipping his tea.

"Levi?" Elisa called out.

"What is it?"

"Where's my white and red dress?"

Levi cursed, forgetting to put the dresses back in place. He stood up, grabbing the dresses from Eren's room and bringing them back to her. "Here."

"Why did you have them?" She asked, checking them over.

"..." He didn't answer, not in the mood to retell the whole story.

Elisa smiled slyly. "Did you try them on? Is there something you want to tell me?"

Levi glared at her, quickly leaving the room.

"Levi, I'm kidding!" She laughed. "...Did they fit?"

A/N: Alright. This time, this had nothing to do with something that happened to me before, I just made this all up.

This is dedicated to teshichan, they sort of motivated me to make this.

Levi is maybe OOC, but I can't really make him curse since he's in front of children.

Hope you guys liked this, and perhaps, another one shot could happen!