The Guild of Counsellors
Today is a very special day in the history of the grand city of Ankh-Morpork – today the guild of counsellors opens it doors to any troubled citizens in need of advice.
Julia sat by her desk waiting for her first client to arrive. She read the case notes: PONDER STIBBONS, MALE 24, WIZARD.
There was a timid knock on the door, before it was tentatively opened by a small, slender wizard with mousy brown hair and glasses. She guessed he was around early 20's. He wore a simple robe; no sequins or jewels.
She extended a hand to him, introduced herself and motioned for him to take a seat on a comfy sofa.
"So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about today?" she asked in a friendly tone.
He took his time to answer; obviously, from the colour of his face and his reluctance to answer he was extremely embarrassed. "I feel like nothing in the world is right or ordered" he blushed an even deeper crimson.
"When do you think this started to become a problem?"
Again he took his time to answer. "Well I think it started when I was a kid. The others, they had this game. They threw me in this pool from the top of the cliff. It really hurt…and then last month some other wizards and myself got stuck in a completely new world. There was this god there, and I said that I would help him; it turned out though that he had created this island for cockroaches; I didn't want to stay anymore. So we got on a boat (which was actually a seed) but then it fell apart in the awful storm and we had to swim to shore…and there were sharks."
Ponder looked up and realised that the councillor had her mouth open in astonishment. He grinned apologetically for his ramblings.
Julia regained her composure; this was going to be a tough case.
"Do you think that you were emotionally scared by events in your childhood?" She asked in her best talking-down-mad-men voice.
"I had quite a nice childhood actually, apart from the bullying of course" he mused. " I guess being thrown in the water hole didn't hurt that much, but I didn't like it when they tied me up and went home for tea. That was kind of hurtful and degrading"
"Would you say you felt quite lonely? Do you feel your close enough to talk to any of your colleagues?"
"Huh, Them! They talk but they don't listen! Not to me anyway, because I'm just the "lad" or a "boy" or a "young man"! The only one apart from me in the whole University who talks sense is the Librarian and he's an ape!"
"Right… do you take medication? Dried frog pills maybe?"
Ponder seem suddenly indignant. "The Bursar takes those! I'm not mad like the Bursar!"
Julia judged by the expression on his face that this would be a good time to change the tone. Honestly, she did not get paid half enough for this type of job!
"So anyway, what upset you the most about that 'experience' the 'sharks' or the 'God'," said Julia
"Definitely the god. I've always thought that I could have done a much better job. I mean, the world would be a really sensible place if it was up to me."
"Umm…." Julia wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to answer this statement, or whether he wanted a reply at all. She smiled sweetly and said, "Same time next week?"
Ponder raised from his seat and bid her goodbye. Julia gave a sign of relief. She hoped they weren't all going to be like that today!