The Girl from Boston
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis.
One Shot
Carol Danvers, the Avenger Miss Marvel, was walking out on stage,
"Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I am Miss Marvel, and I would like to discuss some things that have been happening to my character lately."
Farrah Willows, the white-haired heroine Persiana, and Carol's archnemesis, groaned,
"Oh, great. She's launching another personal ad again."
Clint Burton, the purple-clad archer Hawkeye, snickered,
"The last time she did that, she got a call from some guy in Idaho claiming to be his daughter."
Carol growled out loud,
"No, you morons! It's that Superhero Super Squad show, or the Superhero Super Squad Happy show!"
Greer Nelson, the heroine Tigra, nodded,
"Oh, I remember that one."
Miss Marvel folded her arms,
"I can't believe what they made my character do on that show."
Leon Maxwell, the red-eyed Avenger Crisis, winced,
"I heard about that."
Farrah asked,
"What is it?"
Carol's face sank,
"They made me kiss someone I'm rather embarrassed about."
Farrah grinned,
"They make you kiss Hulk."
Carol shook her head,
"You wish."
"Thing?"
"No."
"Falcon?"
Sam Wilson, the hero known as Falcon, looked over,
"What's wrong with me?"
Hawkeye asked,
"Was it another girl, because that would be so hot if you and Tigra made out?"
Everyone looked at the archer. Leon slapped him upside the head, causing the former circus star to get slammed into the seat in front of him.
Carol scowled,
"No! It was…Modok!"
At this, Persiana started rolling on the floor in laughter. So did most of the Avengers. Leon smiled and tried to stifle a chuckle, but let loose with a laugh. The blonde Air Force major placed her hands on her hips, glaring,
"You think this is funny? You think this is a joke?"
Farrah said in between laughs,
"You bet! I just wish I taped it! Ooooohh, the blackmail potential."
Miss Marvel sighed,
"I'm just glad you weren't. I'd never hear the end of it."
Farrah nodded,
"Yep, it goes up there with you being a hormonal, sex-crazed tramp."
Carol glared at her arch-nemesis,
"Look who's talking. And, since your brought it up…WHAT IN THE FREAKIN' HELL IS KARLA SOFEN DOING IMPERSONATING ME?!!!"
Falcon blinked,
"Who?"
Leon explained,
"Moonstone. She used to go by Meteorite during her time with the Thunderbolts."
Miss Marvel continued,
"I mean, she's sleeping with Bullseye, Daken; hell; I wouldn't be surprised if she started sleeping with their Venom and Osborn."
Farrah grinned,
"Sounds like an accurate portrayal of the character if you ask me."
Miss Marvel flipped off the were-lioness and continued,
"Oh, and don't get me started on the whole War of the Marvels thing. Don't make me go there." (1)
A short figure with stubby legs and arms floated on the stage in some sort of orange and purple. His name is Modok, and he was carrying a bouquet of roses in one hand and chocolates in a heart-shaped box in the other. He said,
"Oh, Miss Marvel. I'm ready for our date."
Miss Marvel responded by hitting Modok over the head with a very large mallet, sending the telepath through the stage.
Crisis blinked,
"I really didn't see this coming."
Persiana began howling,
"Oh, I can't take it anymore, Barbie! You've officially hit a new low when it comes to your taste in men."
Carol growled loudly, gritting her teeth. Then, a sinister smile came across her face. She floated off stage and near Crisis. The half-Kree soldier picked up the pre-cog powerhouse and said,
"Pucker up, handsome."
She planted a big, wet, juicy kiss on Leon's lips. Farrah dropped her jaw open in shock and outrage. Modok was stunned,
"But, precious. I love you!"
Leon blushed hotly as he is pulled away and has a glassy-eyed stare.
Persiana, her fists clenching tightly, shrieked at the top of her lungs,
"YOU MAN STEALING BARBIE BITCH!!!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR TOUCHING MY MATE!!"
She grabbed Leon's sword and chased after Carol, who was cackling maniacally,
"Hah! You'll never take me alive!"
She ducked another mad sword strike, and the chase was on. Leon shouted,
"Farrah, put down that sword!"
The feline heroine roared,
"Not until I cut Barbie into a sardine can!"
Modok chased after them,
"Don't hurt Carol! I need her to be my blushing bride!"
A series of crashes was heard, and some expensive things being destroyed. Tony winced,
"Oh, I really shouldn't have given up alcohol."
Jarvis, the Avengers' butler, shouted,
"NO! NOT THE GOOD CRYSTAL!!"
Another explosion followed. Jarvis moaned,
"MY GOOD CHINA!! IT'S RUINED!"
Falcon looked over,
"Anyone else wanna do anything about this?"
Hawkeye asked,
"Depends; does getting drunk count?"
Captain America sighed,
"What was I thinking; let those two on the same team?"
End of One Shot
(1) Latest Miss Marvel story Arc 'War of the Marvels'
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Happy New Year!
Miss Marvel: Some Christmas gift!
Persiana: I'm happy. Of course, I'd be much happier with my boyfriend at my side. (curls up to Crisis)
Crisis (groans): Why me?