Originally this was a part in my fic "The Life and Lies of Sirius Black", but then I decided that it would be better on it's own. Not really slash. 'M' for the excessive use of the word 'horny'. Reviews please.

Sirius was alone in the Dormitory reading a Quidditch magazine. Lupin came tromping through the door, soaking wet. Sirius looked at him from over the top of his magazine.

"Um… Remy? Why are you-"

"Peeves." Lupin grunted, and started to go through his trunk, obviously searching for dry clothes. "What are you reading?"

"Playwizard." Sirius said nonchalantly. "This issue, 'Sexy Female Beaters With Quaffel Sized-"

"Okay! I get it! No need to go into details!" Lupin shot a disgusted glance toward the magazine. "Why are you reading that thing anyway, when you should be studying for your O.W.L.S.?"

"Remus you are so weird." Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Any normal bloke would rather hear about 'Sexy Female Beaters With Quaffel Sized Tits' instead of studying for their O.W.L.S."

Lupin flushed, and yanked a clean, but wrinkled, shirt out of his trunk.

"Well, I am a werewolf." He sneered. "That doesn't exactly constitute as 'normal' now does it?"

"Werewolf or not, you're still a hormonal fifteen year old boy. And as a rule hormonal fifteen year old boys are constantly horny. And I've read that werewolves are really horny, and really, really horny around the full moon. Since you are a hormonal fifteen year old boy werewolf you should be really, really, really horny right now, since it's only a few more hours till full." Sirius said this without glancing up from his magazine. "All logic says that you should be humping the doorframe right now."

Lupin blinked, and paused the unbuttoning of his shirt. "No offence, Mate… but that made absolutely no sense."

"So are you?"

"Am I humping the doorframe? No, I am not." Lupin finished with his shirt, and shrugged it off.

"No, I meant are you horny?"

Lupin shrugged. "Not anymore."

"Am I really that unattractive?" Sirius fluttered his eyelashes at Lupin.

"Yup." Lupin laughed and pulled on a jumper. "But that's not the reason I am no longer, er… aroused. As a matter of fact, I was just coming back from Filch's supply closet with some Ravenclaw when Peeves got me."

Sirius looked at Lupin with interest. "Which one?"

Lupin sighed. "Sirius, there's only one Peeves."

"No, I meant which Ravenclaw."

"Oh." Lupin started to undo his belt. "The blonde fourth year with the nice arse."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Rem, there are a lot of blonde Ravenclaw fourth years with nice arses. Believe me, I know. I've shagged the lot of them."

Lupin smirked. "I doubt you've shagged this one."

Sirius thought for a moment. "Was it Carrie Lipton? I haven't shagged her yet. She has a nice body, but her face looks like a troll's bum."

"Nope." Lupin's pants fell around his ankles. "It was her brother."

"So… you fancy cock, then?" Sirius asked calmly.

"Oh yes. I fancy it very much." Lupin pulled on his dry pants and glanced at Sirius nervously. "You're not bothered by this?"

"Nope. Not at all."

"Oh. Good." Lupin sat on his bed and watched Sirius as he set his magazine aside, and started for the door. "Where are you going?"

"To find James." Sirius yawned. "He now owes me twenty Galleons."

Lupin gaped at him. "You and James took bets on my sexuality?"

"Yup." Sirius chirped. "I'm gonna buy me some firewhiskey." Sirius paused at the door. "Hey, Rem?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you love him?"

"Who, James?" Lupin looked at Sirius in confusion

Sirius made a face. "EW! No, not James." Sirius shuddered. "I'm talking about that Ravenclaw bloke. Carrie Lipton's brother."

Lupin laughed. "Oh, no. this was the first time that anything's ever happened between us. And it was only a wank. I didn't even get a kiss!" Lupin pretended to pout. Sirius snorted.

"Rem, stop. I can't take you seriously when you pout like that. It makes you look like a girl."

Lupin threw a pillow at Sirius in mock anger. Sirius ducked and laughed before leaving to find James.