A/N: *Dances* I got it done! I got it done! WHOO! :D ... Sorry about that. I don't write much humor, and when I do it takes me forever. This thing was only half finished last night and I got it done now! :} Now I have to go work on another... :{ This is for Black Death Pen - Yukiko Ayano. Merry Christmas, Death. (Sounds funny XD) Hope you have an awesome one! Now I'm off to do Scifi's! Please follow my three R's. Read, relish, and review! :}
Pants
There were a couple of things that Light Yagami noticed right away when he woke up.
No, it wasn't the handcuffs that connected him with a certain world-wide famous detective. He grew accustomed to it after the first month. And when he woke up most mornings he would usually find himself handcuffed to the bed headboard instead, said detective saying that he just wanted to think by himself.
It also wasn't the amount of noise heard from outside of his room. Light had grown accustomed to that, too. Ever since L said that he had problems at home and needed to watch after four children- that constantly had Light at his neck, mind you- he got used to the sound of yelling and things breaking.
And no, it wasn't when someone entered or exited the room. Otherwise, Light would notice when L came and left as he pleased or when Watari brought them food. This was natural, just how Light always slept since he was a child.
What he did notice though, was things of his own person. Something very, very annoying had been happening too much lately.
Two days ago, Light awoke to find that his socks were gone. He didn't pay it much mind, thinking that he probably just kicked them off in his sleep. After all, socks were annoying to sleep in.
Then, yesterday, he awoke to find something even bigger missing from his person. Where on Earth did his pants go? He couldn't have kicked them off in his sleep. Deep a sleeper he was, but he did not toss nor turn ever while asleep. Once he thought it to be L, but when the detective entered only minutes after Light woke up and simply stated that; "If he kept a piece of the notebook in his underwear and was trying to get it to kill L then the camera's would catch it and prove that he was, in fact, Kira," Light only answered that with a punch. Of which a foot was sent back at his face. That morning ended badly. None of his pants anywhere to be seen. He had to borrow a pair of L's disgusting jeans.
But today had to be the worse. For the life of him, Light couldn't understand who in the world hated him so much. First, they made some detective think he was Kira. Second, they handcuffed him to the guy. Third, the guy brought kids who were most unholy. And fourth, this mysterious person who hated him with the burning passion of a thousand suns liked to steal things from him. And today it was his underwear. Great. Just really freaking great.
And of course L just had to choose that moment to enter!
They stood in silence as L stared at Light, who covered himself with the blankets, face red. The detective merely blinked, and cocked his head to the side. The silence gave Light time to become infuriated at the thought of someone doing this to him. His pride, his dignity, it was all injured. Something needed to be done. Someone needed to pay.
"Do you think, perhaps, that Kira is done using you and is trying to punish you?" L asked, highly amused, but masking it with his usual stoic face. Unfortunately, Light was around him for far too long and was able to recognize small things that gave away L's emotions. He could tell from how L's voice seemed a little bit higher that the detective thought this funny.
"Shut up and let me use a pair of your pants. I want answers. Now." Light growled, his pride not giving a damn about how his ordering was probably very Kira-like and therefore making the percentage of him being Kira rise.
"Do you want undergarments as well?" L asked, moving to the dresser to get Light some pants.
"No thanks, that just seems really disgusting." Light answered sitting up as L handed him the pants. He quickly slid the pants on as L unlocked the handcuffs and relocked them on his wrist so that they were connected.
"What do you plan on doing?" L asked, following behind Light as the chestnut haired boy stalked out of the room and down the hall.
"I'm going to find Matt first."
Matt was still sleeping. He never got up before twelve o'clock, and was in a deep sleep when the door slammed open. He turned, groggy from his sleep, to see Light and L at his bed side. L was behind Light who seemed to be fuming mad. Matt wiped his eyes, curious but tired.
"Yeah?" Matt asked.
"Where did Mello put them?"
"Eh, what are you talking about, Light?" Matt asked, becoming more awake as he realized he had no idea what Light was talking about. Well, he had an idea of what Light was talking about. Mello hid many things. His precious chocolate was hidden in the farthest part of his closet, under come clothes. When Matt didn't obey Mello the blond would take his video games and stash them under his bed, but he would never tell Mello that he knew where he put them. Then, there was the toys that Mello constantly stole from Near. He hid those, well, in his garbage can. The point was, he needed to know which of the things Light was talking about to answer him properly.
"My clothes. Matt, where did Mello take my clothes?" Light asked in annoyance. It was then that tired green eyes noticed that Light was wearing jeans.
"... Are you wearing jeans?"
"Matt-"
"And someone took your clothes?"
"That's-"
"And... You think... I..." Matt tried to hold in his laughter, really, he did but it didn't last. He laughed endlessly, looking at L and seeing that his mentor was holding back a grin.
"It wasn't you then? You weren't helping Mello do this?" Light asked, crossing his arms. Matt forced himself to calm down.
"If Mello was behind this then he would have told me. There's a five percent chance of him being the culprit, but I doubt it. Maybe it was someone else?" Matt suggested.
"Like who? Near?" Light snorted. "Sorry, but Mello has been hellbent on making me miserable since he arrived. Just who locked me out of the bathroom all day when Watari drugged L with sleeping pills?"
"Yeah, but you did take Near's toys away. What about Beyond?" Matt asked.
"He just doesn't seem like the type to do that. He seems more like the type to... I don't know... He's strange, but not strange enough to do this." Light explained.
"But Mello is?" Matt rolled his eyes as he laid on his side, back facing the older two. "Then let me sleep. Go find Mello, yell and aggravate him so he has a reason to pull another prank on you, realize he didn't do it and go looking for the real culprit. Whatever floats your boat."
Light stared a final moment before turning to find Mello. His encounter with Matt hadn't turned out the way he wanted, but he still had many ideas he could think of to find his culprit. The day had only begun.
Mello wanted to laugh. His plan was full-proof! L and Light should be eating breakfast at the moment which gave him all the time in the world to sneak back to his room and pretend like nothing ever happened. He better hurry. He most definitely did not want to get caught. Last time he got caught Light had almost killed him. He needed to borrow some of Matt's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle band aids because of the Kira suspect.
So he started to leave when the door opened and froze him in his steps. L and Light were in the doorway. L looked indifferent, as always, but Light looked extremely pissed off.
"Hey, need the bathroom?" Mello asked, trying to act like he didn't do anything. His acting skills were amazing, he was a Wammy kid after all.
"No. We need to talk to you." Light all but growled. Mello had to idly wonder if this was what kids felt like when their Mother's caught them doing something wrong.
"About what?" Mello still played innocent.
"About where you put my pants, socks, and underwear. Where are they, Mello? I know you took them." Light narrowed his eyes. Mello narrowed his back.
"What makes you think I would want to steal your disgusting clothes?! It's not like I have anywhere that I can hide them anyways. Your really stupid." Mello then looked to L and folded his arms. "Are you sure this guy is Kira?"
"Stop acting stupid, Mello. If it weren't you than why are you hiding in here?" Light asked, not giving L a moment to talk.
"If you must know, if I were to hide then it wouldn't be in the bathroom. It would be too easy to hear any movement I make. Anyways, I was actually playing another prank but I can tell you that I didn't take your pretty boy clothes." Mello lifted his chin as he walked to the door. "And if you want to know about my pranks so badly, then I advise you not to use your shampoo."
Mello left and Light's eyes widened. He ran to the bathroom to see what Mello was talking about only to slip on the soaked floor and fall head first into the full bathtub. The shampoo and conditioner fell into the bath and Light grabbed the shampoo. When he squirted some of it into his hand to analyze he realized that it was perfectly fine. Mello used it to lure Light into his trap. Light wanted to rip someone's head off as he sat up, clothes drenched, only to see L still standing even though the handcuff should have pulled the detective in with him.
Great. Really great!
Someone was going to die.
"Near!"
Near looked up from his puzzle to his door. It burst open. Standing there in the door way was a very soaked, very angry, jeans-wearing Light Yagami.
"Yes?" Near asked, twirling a lock of his hair.
"Where are my clothes?!" Light didn't ask, but ordered. Near didn't like this at all. Just what was he missing when he stayed in his room all day?
"You think I took your clothes?" Near asked, a bit of disbelief could be heard in his voice.
Grey eyes locked with chestnut brown. They stared for a moment before Light turned to leave. L tilted his head in amusement.
"Shut up, L."
"There is still Beyond left to check." L stated, next to Light.
"I know."
"And your clothes are still missing."
"I know."
"We could get the-"
"I know, L! Just keep stating the obvious, why don't you? Seriously, I'm getting to it." Light sighed.
"Then why don't you enter Beyond's room? You've been standing outside for five minutes and twenty seven seconds now." L explained.
"Shut up." Light ordered, opening the door.
Beyond looked to the door when it slowly opened, hand inside a jar of jam. His mouth was covered with jam and he was hunched over on his bed. Light and L appeared in the doorway and Beyond couldn't help but flash a smile.
A smile that looked most creepy with all that jam there.
"What are you two doing here?" Beyond asked, taking in Light's form. Never had he seen the teenager so messed up. He wanted to laugh hysterically, but he couldn't. Not now.
"Never mind." Light said and then left.
L watched Light lean against the door, frustrated. L put a finger to his lips.
"Should I call Watari?" L asked.
"Yes. Tell him to buy my clothes and put them somewhere with a lock."
Beyond waited until he was sure that Light and L were no longer near his door to laugh. His laughs were loud and crackled all around. He thought Light was smarter and would've figured out who took his clothes right away. It seems Beyond was let down. Light didn't even ask. He hardly even said a sentence! And it should have been easy for Light to find his clothes. Beyond did give them to Misa every time he took them.
Seriously, how clueless can you get?