AN: Well this idea just kind of popped into my head. A little dumb I know, but I went with it. It's just a little fun oneshot, so no harm in reading it.

Disclaimer: You see, if I really thought I owned Twilight, I wouldn't be on fanfiction. I'd be claiming those rights, but I don't own it. So, here I am on fanfiction.

Jacob POV

I walked into the house obviously excited to see Nessie, but also hoping Blondie wasn't there. She's been hogging all my time with Nessie. I try to spend as much time with her, but we all have to sleep, eat, and change clothes eventually, right? Except bloodsuckers, but they are the special case.

"Hey Nessie!" I could automatically feel the pull towards her. "How's my favorite girl today?"

"Hey! I thought I was your favorite girl!" Bella feigned hurt, but being classic Bella, it sucked.

"Haha. Sorry Bells. You've been demoted." In a way this was true. She used to be my favorite girl, but we all know it's better this way.

I took in the living room for the first time since I had walked in. I took Nessie from Bella's arms and head counted the leeches. Edward, Alice, Emmett, Bella, and Jasper. I actually had learned their names, but I still joked like I hadn't.

"Where are leeches three, five and seven?" Yes, this is what I called them just to mess with Bells.

"Carlisle is at work, Esme is looking at houses to remodel, and Rose figured you were coming so she went outside to work on her car." Whenever Bella put emphasis on their names everyone could tell I was getting under her skin.

I figured Dr. Fang had to be at work. I kind of remember people mentioning Esme's love to redo houses, but I can't remember ever learning that Blondie liked cars. I figured she'd be doing her hair, but doing cars? I would've never guessed.

"I didn't think you would." Stupid bloodsucker number two, always reading my mind.

"What's going on?" Emmett was confused.

"Are you kidding Emmett? Just by looking at his face we all could have guessed that he hadn't guessed that Rosalie liked cars. Now he wants to go bug Rose about it, and now he's putting that plan into action. And no, I didn't need my visions to tell me that either." I was already walking towards the door, so dang that pixie was observant. Those dang vampire senses.

I decided to totally ignore them as they murmured their disagreements. Normally I would have steered clear of Blondie, but this was to good to pass up. I set down Nessie, since there was no use in her learning my bad manners. I walked out to their rather large garage to hear the clanking of metal.

"Careful there, Blondie. You might break a nail." So many jokes about Blondie working were already forming in my head.

She groaned. Obviously she was upset that I had come out here. Excellent! "Get out of here mutt! You're going to make my car reek of dog!" Just to bug her, I sat on the hood of the car and rubbed my butt in it a little. Thanks to her super-leech senses, she knew exactly what I was doing. Even more excellent!

"So Blondie I didn't label you as a car buff." I really didn't.

"Of course you didn't. No one does. I'm all about blonde hair and a pretty face." Was it just me or was she sounding a little hurt? Although that is true. I hadn't really labeled her as deep. Wait, no, I couldn't be feeling sympathetic to... Blondie? No way.

Rosalie POV

Won't the freaking mutt just leave me alone?!? I mean seriously, dog, just get out of my garage! Of course he thinks I'm just another Barbie, and I'll admit that I can be. I, however, am more than just a bimbo. I have a brain!

"Sooooo.... awkward silence." Shut up and leave.

"Yah, probably because we don't like each other." Honestly, am I spelling this out to someone with the mental capabilities of a two year old? Probably.

"Sweet car."

"I know." I was tasting the acid on my tongue and it felt good.

"The coolest thing I've ever done with a car is build my Rabbit. I fixed up Bella's and my bikes though. That wasn't too difficult."

"Do I care?" More acid, but I will admit, it's pretty cool he can build a car. I've never gotten the opportunity seeing as us Cullens buy really nice cars.

"Have you ever built a car?" Sooo annoying!

"No. I just tune ours up. If you haven't noticed, we like speed." He sure knows how to push my buttons.

"Figures. You probably don't want to get dirty." Okay, that's enough. I'm sick of his crap! I came out from under the car and luckily there was a very full, very lovely can of grease right next to me. In my moment of anger I flung the can up at his head.

Direct hit! The grease was all over him! I burst out laughing.

"Oh, Haha, bloodsucker. You know, you really should not have done that." And with that, I was covered in paint, seeing as he had taken it off the shelf next to him and threw it at me.

"You are dead meat, pup!" He ruined my hair! He really was dead meat.

With that, our war had started.

Jacob POV

Dude, this was epic! Blondie was getting messy! I never thought I would see this day.

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" The rather large bloodsucker, Emmett, had yelled. It seems everyone came outside to see what was with all the ruckus we were making. The big one looked ready to kill, so Blondie and I had stopped the battle suddenly. He was kind of scaring me a little.

Then he burst out laughing. "You guys look so funny, but seriously, you know not to start paint and or grease wars without me!" He whined. We all started chuckling at Emmett's remark.

"Sorry, sweetie." Blondie said, "but the mutt started it."

"It's on, mutt!" Then a streak of blue came into eyesight and once again the paint started to fly!

Everyone had joined by this time almost everyone had joined, except Alice who was standing in the doorway.

I yelled across the room for her to join us, but she just shook her head. So, doing the best thing I could, so I threw some combination of red paint and grease on her. The look on her face was hilarious, but suddenly everyone stopped.

There were murmurs of "You shouldn't have done that"'s and "It's your funeral"'s going around and then the highest, loudest screech I've ever heard erupted from the pixie.

"THESE CLOTHES ARE DESIGNER!!!" And with that the pixie joined the fight.

It was all a bunch of fun and Nessie just sat there watching us. She had a look of total enjoyment on her face. Soon, however, we ran out of paint and grease, and of course Esme and Dr. Fang walked in. They looked shocked and extremely happy at the same time.

"What did you do, Emmett?!" Of course they thought it was Emmett.

"Actually, Mom, Rose and Jacob started it." Stupid Pixie.

They laughed however. "Seriously?" Carlisle got out while laughing.

"Yes actually they did." There were murmurs of agreement and realization dawned their faces.

"Well in that case, you two get to clean this all up, and at human speed too." Esme, being the mother of the moment, said.

Blondie and I both groaned. Everyone else went inside to get themselves clean, and we becan the long process of removing paint from everything. It sure sucked, but you know Blondie isn't a total jerk anymore.

"Could you hand me that scrub brush please?" She was even being polite.

"Sure, and you know what, Blondie?"

"What?"

"You aren't as bad as you seem. In fact, you are even kind of pleasant." She gave me a playful shove and we both smiled. Maybe we could be friends. And with that, we carried on with our work talking about cars, and of course our epic paint war.

I think it was cute, and just because it's a oneshot doesn't mean I don't like reviews, so please review telling my if you liked it or how I need to get better, or anything.

Lots of Luv,

Gentry.