This is a sequel of sorts of the Joys of Being a Director.
Warning: No characterisations of any sort with complete and utter stupidity. Read at your own peril!
Many thanks to Mindy Morganna who helped me immensely with this, fixing spelling mistakes and adding funny bits to the story.
Thanks Mindy!
"Where the hell is Budapest?"
"Ahem", coughed Much. "Now to matters at hand" he looked around the table "the food crisis in this place is beyond a joke-"
"Much, hurry up, I need to get food, I'm starving" complained Marian.
"You can have this," said Will handing her a bar "it only makes me look fat anyway."
Marian grabbed the bar from him as Will turned away disgusted.
"This is exactly what I'm on about! You either eat to much or too little, we need a healthy, balanced-"
"I'm a vejomerian" interrupted Robin.
Seven heads turned slowly to face him."What?"
"I'm a vejomerian."
Will raised his perfectly plucked eyebrows "which is?"
"I don't eat animals, it's cruel."
"What Robin means to say is that he is a vegetarian." Said Guy "I am too, we started the S.V.A, Sherwood Vegetarian Association, will you join us?"
Robin looked down at his hand" We are committed to promoting animal and health well-being here in S-s-sugarwood."
"Sherwood" pointed out Guy.
"I knew that!"
"It's okay, the writing was blurred but you are getting better at you letters, well done." He turned to the others "basically we're as the most vegetarian-ish people that you can find."
They gang was silent for a moment, taking this new information in. Not even Much pointed out Guy was dressed from head to pointy toe in dead cow. None of them knew the director had used a kitten hostage in order for Guy to don the (in his own words "unveggy vestments.")
"It should be B.V.A, we're in Budapest not Sherwood" Allen pointed out.
"You mean, the set of Robin Hood is in Budapest?"
"Surrounded by idiots" Allen muttered to himself.
"Yes Robin" chorused the rest of the gang.
"Where the hell is Budapest? Is it in London?"
"Hungary" said Allen rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, I'd love some sausages right now actually."
"No, he means the country-hang on, I thought you were vegetarian?" asked Vaisey.
"I am"
"Sausages are meat" the Sheriff informed him.
"They are?"
The gang sighed, Robin wasn't known for his intelligence.
"We have a bigger problem" spoke Djac quietly "John hasn't come back yet, I think he's lost."
"No offense but how do you lose John, he's not that small" pointed out Allen.
The Sheriff became concerned "he might be hurt, we have to go look for him!"
"We need a plan" shouted Much. "We will walk through the forest, holding hands, that we won't get lost too" suggested the Sheriff. "We wait for him here" said Will.
"If I shout really loud telling him how much I love him, he'll hear me and come running to me" suggested Djac.
"How about we call the police?" suggested Allen.
The gang shook their heads.
"I've a great plan" announced Robin standing up. "We run around in random directions and hope that one of us run into him, we might lose a few people but it might just work."
"Or, we could ring the police" repeated Allen.
Robin shook his head "we're in the middle of Sherwood, no police."
"For the last time it's Budapest" said Allen "besides the Police station is only four miles away."
"We'll split into pairs" suggested Much, ever the sensible one. Or perhaps the only one who watched Scooby Doo religiously.
The group, bar Allen and Robin, nodded.
"Okay, Robin with Marian, Will with Allen, Vaisey with Guy and Djac is with me" ordered Much.
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
"This is ridiculous" complained Allen. "If we don't find him in fifteen minutes I'm heading back, and if he's not back by nightfall we call the police, simple."
Will nodded and followed him silently, trying to think of the best way to express how he felt. He had just settled on some heart-rending Byronic poetry when Allen's "business only" iPhone rang. Unlike the rest of the slackers round here, he ran his own company and took work very seriously. Something Will admired in a man.
"Allen" said Will quietly "I have something to tell you."
Allen covered his mouth piece and hissed "I'm busy!"
"I like you."
"Yeah, I like you too mate now shut up."
Will bit his lip "I love you Allen A' Dale."
Allen hung up on his phone and turned slowly to face him. "You what?"
"I think about you all the time, I love you."
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
"Now mind your step here" warned Vaisey "it's very steep."
Guy nodded and took his time on the 'very steep' part of the path.
"John! John! JOHN!" called Vaisey. "Oh I do hope he's okay, I would hate if anything bad happened to him. JOHN!"
"So, will you join the S.V.A?" asked Guy.,
"John! I thought you were calling it the B.V.A? JOHN!"
"S.V.A sounds better."
Sheriff nodded. "One sec, JOHN! I would love too, but I'm afraid I can't. You see if I become a vegetarian Marian will want to too because she loves me so much and loves doing things with me. JOHN! However with a baby on the way and all that I want her to have a full and healthy diet, full of nutrition. While meat can be substituted there is nothing like the real thing and I only want the best for my baby and of course for…. Your not listening are you?"
Guy didn't seen to even hear the question. He seemed to be focused on something further down the path. Then, with no warning he suddenly jumped up and down clapping his hands. "A puppy, a puppy! Look! Can I keep him….pretty please?"
~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#
"So, eh…..how's the pregnancy thing going?" Robin asked.
"Don't talk to me" Marian replied.
"We're not going in there are we?"
"In where?"
"The old part of the forest, it's scary and dark there."
Marian grabbed his hand and dragged him forward. "C'mon!"
"Can you let go of my hand."
"No."
"Please, I don't like holding your hand."
"I held your hand piles of time on set and kissed you! What's your problem?"
"Well I never really liked it in the first place but at least you acted nice and I wasn't alone, there were people there in case you got cross."
Marian sighed and dragged him onwards; he followed nervously. He wasn't sure if he was more scared of the woods or of her.
Suddenly she stopped, her expression paled. Did she realise too that the woods were scary?
"See, it's scary. Can we go home now?"
"My water broke" informed Marian.
She waited impatiently for some swelling music, but the sound man was miles away being hustled in Monopoly by the cast of Merlin.
"Oh, em...how can water break?" asked Robin.