Dear Reader,
When I write First Person POV's I try to get into the mind of the character. I think, "What would the character feel? What would they think?" Those who have read my Sailor Saturn fic 'Forgotten' know what I mean. I hope you enjoy this, it is the first in a long line of chapters that go into the minds of various Anime characters. Don't beg for updates because I shall be writing this fic at my leisure.
I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!
I do not own the song 'Posession'.
Thank you Lone Warrior2 for reading this for me and telling me that it was 'Wow'. And thank you for writing 'Thoughts From The Lost'. It has really inspired me. You are too cool.
Stay safeStay healthy
Sincerely,
Starr Bryte
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
He sleeps so soundly.
I could not sleep so deeply.
I was always taught that sleep was the most important time to be on your guard.
Too easy to have a dagger slipped between your ribs.
Makes me jealous that he can be so relaxed.
I could wake him up just to be annoying…
But I won't.
No, I'll wait until morning to be annoying.
Not a morning person is my yadonushi.
A walking corpse until his first cup of tea.
Literally.
I don't know how he can walk down those stairs without killing himself.
His eyes are glued shut and he speaks in grunts.
Actually he reminds me of someone.
I'm not really sure who.
Hmm.
I'm wide awake.
A spirit does not need sleep.
I'm bored.
And a bored Toukozou is a dangerous thing to have around.
I could simply take over his body and go wandering.
It is always fun to do that and then leave him to deal with the aftermath.
Fun.
But he needs rest.
Mental and physical.
The last time I took over a body short on rest…
Not something I can think about.
Not willingly, anyway.
I don't really feel like going out.
To damn cold.
I think I'll just sit here and watch.
Watch him.
Watch him sleep.
Watch him dream.
Watch him live.
The room is dark and yet I see perfectly.
There are many advantages to being dead.
Perfect night vision for one thing.
Although, being dead I'm not too sure how that works.
But anyway.
I can see everything.
The room is neat.
Impeccably so.
I must take over some time and mess it up, just to see the look on his face.
Book shelf.
Desk.
Closet.
Dresser.
Bed.
Yadonushi.
All is there.
All is as it should be.
For now.
And the best part of being dead.
No one sees you.
No one hears you.
Only the most sensitive or the most blind can sense you.
Meanwhile you can see what cannot be seen.
Hear what cannot be heard.
Touch and taste and feel worlds beyond your darkest imaginings.
Tap into magic's that should never be tapped.
This thought always gives me pause.
As it does now.
I do not know what to believe anymore.
No.
I know what to believe, I just don't know if I should believe in it.
Does that make sense?
Oh well…
I always believed in my "Mission".
I tried to speak of it to that damn pharaoh.
Why did I even try?
He told me my "Mission" was…
How did he phrase it?
Ah, yes…
"To take the Millennium items and take over the world."
The little Hikari yelled at him about being insensitive.
I won't argue with that but…
That wasn't my REAL "Mission".
My REAL "Mission" had been to…
'Take the Millennium items…'
Of course.
But it wasn't to control them…
It was to DESTROY them.
Yes, the items are tools of ultimate power…
But as I well know all power comes with a price.
As do all things worth risking eternal damnation for.
In this modern day era they say…
How does it go?
Ah, yes.
"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."
Sad, but true.
I won't argue with that.
That damn Pharaoh speaks of protecting the innocent from rogues like me.
That's a laugh.
If he wants to protect the innocent from 'rogues like me' what the hell is he doing here?
Makes me want to scream sometimes.
HYPOCRITE!
Hypocrite!
Who does he think he is?
GOD?
Oh…
Yeah…
A Pharaoh is a God.
Well if he's God, what does that make me?
The Devil?
Well…
I just answered my own question.
Dammit.
It's snowing outside.
Big, white glowing flakes in the street light.
Like stars fallen from heaven.
I never knew what snow was until I came here.
I shouldn't know what snow is.
I shouldn't even be here.
I don't belong here.
I don't.
It's the age old question.
Wise men have gone insane trying to answer it.
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Hmmm.
Let me think on this…
Ah, yes.
I am Toukozou.
I am the thief and the stealer of souls.
I am the Devil.
That is who I am.
To take the Millennium items and destroy them before killing that damn pharaoh.
That is why I am here.
For revenge.
For my parents.
For my sisters.
For the village that ceased to exist in under a day.
One day a village filled with life.
Comings and goings.
Life and death.
Brothels and whores and thieves and beggars and dancers and merchants and craftsmen and drunkards and murderers and mothers and fathers and daughters and sons and animals and dust and filth and grime and beauty and ugliness and laughter and tears and screams and shouts and singers.
The next…
Nothing…
A ghost town filled with the souls of the murdered.
Only a small, orphaned street rat to witness the final hours of Kul Elna.
I kept the arrow that had nearly taken my eye.
It was a reminder to me.
All I had.
An arrow smeared with my blood.
And the memories.
I had my revenge to keep me going through those years or hardships.
Neither death, nor starvation, now pain, plague or devastation could keep me from my goal.
But then, just when I was about to have my revenge for the blood spilt and Kul Elna that damn PRIEST had to stick his conk in it!
He sliced my soul in half!
Ka and Ba split through the core.
He trapped me in that God forsaken ring for millennia!
The darkness.
The loneliness.
I was almost enough to drive one insane!
Well, more insane that before.
All I had was half of a soul and my revenge and greed to keep my going.
It twisted me.
I can admit it freely now.
I am not the man I once was.
The wait was long.
But I kept a hold of my memories and sense of self with an iron grip.
And one thought…
Revenge.
But I will say here, in the dimness of this room, that now, as I think about it, even my purpose was more than skewed.
I slept.
I don't know for how long.
I waited.
I know I was waiting.
I could feel it.
A longing.
Come for me.
Come for me.
I am waiting for you.
My one.
My own.
That longing.
Greater than my sense of revenge.
I dreamed.
Many hands passed over the ring and I did not so much as twitch.
None of them were the hands I sought.
Finally.
I heard a voice.
I almost mistook the voice as a dream.
But it soon became clearer.
I knew that the wait was over.
I was home.
I woke up.
I knew that voice.
I knew those hands that held the ring.
The accursed object that now housed my soul.
I knew those eyes.
That face.
That hair.
They were mine.
My hair.
My face.
My eyes.
My hands.
So this is where the other half of my soul went.
So different.
Skin milky pale and smooth instead of brown and leather rough.
Eyes a chocolate of the dark drink imported from different parts of the world and slanted differently..
Face thinner.
Sharper.
Younger.
Spidery hands and talked when he was nervous.
Hair longer than mine, but still the same.
Voice a light tenor instead of gravely.
Different.
Strange.
Familiar.
So this is where the other half of my soul went.
I watched my other self with fascination.
I found eerie similarities between he and I.
He loved history.
As do I.
What could possibly be more interesting than reading about the people whose tombs I broke into?
And reading security blueprints for booby traps is the greatest thing ever.
He had a fondness for the treasures of the past and the secrets they held.
Well…
That just screams for itself.
I watched.
I waited.
I studied.
Patiently.
Silently.
Slowly I came to know this odd world I had awakened in.
I grew fond of this modern world and all of its wonders.
And all of its toys.
Although I will say that I look down upon guns and bombs.
That's cheating.
What's the fun in killing somebody if you can't see their faces close up?
Can't smell their fear?
Hmph.
Cheaters…
The art of the thief has changed little of these many years however.
The modern man is still trying to build a better rat trap.
And, sadly for them, they are failing.
Oh well.
More for me.
The art of the thief has changed little.
I can't say the same for other things.
What is that saying?
'The more things change the more they stay the same'.
I beg to differ.
The more things stay the same the more they change.
Everything has changed.
The year.
The location.
The people.
The technology.
The traditions.
The religions.
The social standings of rich and poor.
It's all changed.
It's all different.
The people and places I once knew so well…
Now dust in the sands of time.
I realize now how far from Egypt I am.
I never thought I'd see the day when I would actually say I miss that hellish sand trap.
I'll never admit that aloud.
At first I was happy to escape my prison.
Of course anything was better than the darkness.
But now.
I almost wish to go back to sleep.
Almost.
I will not say that I hate it here.
But how frustrating it is to be trapped here.
I don't understand it.
I don't suppose I ever will.
It was like I traded one prison for another.
At first I denied ever being a part of this person.
This Ryou Bakura.
He is weak.
Shy.
Skinny.
Weak.
He disgusted me.
Really, truly disgusted me.
How frustrating.
I taught him the meaning of strength.
The meaning of power.
Of pride.
I taught him the same lessons I was taught.
But this is not Cairo.
This is not Ancient Egypt.
All I taught Ryou.
All I taught my Yadonushi.
Fear.
Fear of others.
Fear of himself.
Fear of me.
I do not regret what I did.
He is stronger now.
He has filled out some from my excursions.
His excursions.
Alright, OUR excursions, on the rooftops.
The only way to 'stay out of trouble' is to either kick its sorry ass or to take a different route to school every day.
Preferably the most dangerous route I can find.
Those INSECTS at school do not frighten him.
He does not fear the world the way he used to.
But there is one fear that has not gone away yet.
The fear of me.
My distrusting and violent nature.
I do not deny what I am.
Why should he?
I will admit that I have changed.
I will not deny that fact either.
I do not like it.
I do not like change.
I hate it here.
It's almost as bad as the damn ring.
Almost.
Everything is so different.
It's so easy to get lost.
Dangers everywhere.
Life, so much cheaper than it once was.
So different.
Yet evil and cruelty remain a constant.
A weak comfort to me who has lived and survived off of others evils.
But change is neither good nor evil.
It just is.
Like the sands that gave us life could so easily strip the flesh from our bones.
A constant.
But I am not in Egypt anymore.
Everything is so different.
But there are a few familiar faces.
I will admit to my shock on seeing those I had known.
Now reborn.
It is a bit disappointing that they will never really remember me.
Not that we were such close friends.
More like…
Mortal enemies and distant acquaintances?
Yeah.
That sounds right.
But maybe it's a good thing that they don't remember any details.
I nearly blew my cover that first day my Yadonushi walked into the room and eyes and faces I have known of old looked back at me.
Teana the Dancer.
Atem the Eternal Pharaoh.
Seth the High Priest.
Tentien the Captain of the Palace Guard who so often would come to town in disguise and have some fun.
And when I mean fun I mean the type of fun that would more that likely get him executed.
As I was saying…
Joun the Street Fighter.
Siamun the Advisor.
It was almost refreshing.
And its not as if they've changed.
Much.
Anzu loves dancing and adores the little Hikari with all her heart.
Yuugi…
Well…
His hair hasn't changed much…
I guess that's one little thing the Pharaoh and I have in common besides being trapped in jewelry for time out of mind.
Very little.
Non existent little.
Not even worth mentioning little.
Anyway…
Seto…
Hasn't changed at all.
Doesn't believe in magic?
Riiight…
Tell that to the poor sap who ribbits like a frog ever other word.
Honda…
Still faithful to the hikari.
Still grumpy.
Still gets into bizarre amounts of mischief.
Jounouchi?
Not a bit.
Not at all.
Although him having a cute sister was a bit of a surprise.
Mouto…
Not a whit of change.
Well…
I never expected him to be a gambler.
It was a pleasant surprise.
Even though he claims he's retired from that sort of thing…
Riiight…
And I'm a fuzzy pink garden snake.
If those six people hadn't been reborn or reawakened may life would be…
Empty?
No.
Not empty.
Not with sooo many interesting things to do.
Especially the women.
Not that my Yadonushi needs to now…
Yet…
It is something I have not really thought about.
Something I did not WANT to think about.
But after all that has happened.
All that was risked.
And lost.
And saved…
I must.
After that damn Pharaoh was foolish enough to be separated from his little hikari.
Nearly killed because of it and banished back to the puzzle.
To be damned further…
I always thought that the prison of the Ring was the worst of damnations.
The ultimate of hells.
But I find, once again, how wrong I was.
It is one thing to miss what you've never had.
But to miss what you have.
You don't know what you've got until it's gone.
Suddenly.
Stolen from you.
What pain that would be.
What anguish.
The Pharaoh may have been shaken down to his core by the near (second) death experience.
The little hikari my still have nightmares.
But that is nothing to the fear that now shakes me.
I spent the better part of my…
Acquaintance with my Yadonushi trying to either control him or separate myself from him.
I always believed that we were two separate beings somehow trapped inside of one body.
I now find how wrong I was.
To fully admit that I am wrong.
HA
Wrong?
ME!
Laughable!
But that just goes to show how much has changed.
How much I have changed.
Me.
Change?
Not so impossible anymore.
Laughable…
I must think on this.
What would happen if I were ever separated from my Yadonushi?
A fate worse than death.
Worse than the Ring.
I would die.
Not just in body.
But in mind.
In heart.
I have grown…
Used to his presence.
His sweetness.
His willingness to share.
It reminds me of the days long past.
Of sharing food and stories and the days earnings in the Thieves' guild.
He is a constant.
He will change because he is still young.
And I will be there.
For he is mine.
MINE.
And I will never…
EVER…
Let go.
Never.
I am a Thief and a stealer of souls.
But the restlessness.
The search for a treasure that would keep me satisfied.
Have I found it?
The snow has stopped and the sky is clear.
My Yadonushi turns over in his sleep.
His hair is like a snowfall over the pillow.
So soft when I take it into my hand and clench it in my fist.
A sigh.
My name.
He is asleep.
He is content.
Will I ever be that content?
Do I have the courage to answer that question and the others that I have asked myself?
I do not know.
The darkness of the room is comforting.
The night is my companion.
Solitude was my guide.
Can I spend forever here and not be satisfied…?