"Don't lie to me again, or else I'll never forgive you."
I didn't know why he said that to me because I gave him the last cookie, even though I didn't have one. I told him I already had mine, and he split it in two, putting the bigger half in my mouth. That was a while back, when we were first years. I didn't figure it out yet. We both hadn't figured it out, but surprisingly, Hikaru had a slight idea about what was going on. It wasn't long before I recognized my feelings for Haruhi. And soon after, I had to spell it out for my brother what he was feeling.
I only wanted my twin to be happy, so that I could feel the same. We were twins, right? We were supposed to think alike and feel alike. Whatever he liked, I would agree that I liked it too. We would say things in unison, most of the time. We would finish each other's sentences on most occasions. There were just one or two little differences in us. Like our hair.
He dyed his hair last year…that broke my heart a little more than it was supposed to. I liked his ginger hair, and how it looked on him. Of course, people would say that if I wanted to see it again, just look in the mirror. I looked exactly like him.
We were twins, right?
But it didn't feel the same. No, his seemed more glorious. Unique. His bangs fell perfectly over his eyes during the morning and while he slept. Sometimes, I hated how our stylists put those bangs into place just like mine. Mine were dull. No sparks, no shimmer, nothing perfect. Nothing glorious. Nobody saw how imperfect I was from my brother.
And the accent in his voice. That was the most recognizable difference in us. It seemed so soothing. Even when we were little kids, his voice would reassure me, his voice would comfort me, and his voice would seem like a lullaby that was waiting for me to close my eyes and sleep so it could stop singing its constant song that I heard every day, and tried to imitate. Even his yelling while we were fighting that one time…it was just another heart-filled song.
It was then I thought to myself. Why did I think he was so perfect? It wasn't because he looked like my reflection. No. Because my reflection killed me inside. It was something more. It was something that no two brothers should feel about each other. Because if they were to find out, it could never be what they wanted. Why? It was taboo. Forbidden. A disgrace and dishonor. I then realized, it wasn't Haruhi I loved. It was Hikaru. I wanted the best for him. But really, it wasn't brotherly love. I know even Mori never thought of kissing Hunny senpai. I know Tamaki would never think anything else of Haruhi than a daughter, and never thought of having sex with her. No. This wasnt it.
This was a little more than brotherly love. So much more.