Disclaimer: As ever I do not own Criminal Minds!

'Hey baby girl.' Comes the soft tone of Derek from behind her, she didn't react; she knew not to, he'd only continue until he was next to her, with or without an answer back. She laughed as he sat down, again she didn't fully react. 'Whatcha doing?' He asked her casually.

'Thinking.' She sighed as she continued to watch the sea wash back and forth on the shore, hugging the sand before pulling back rhythmically.

'Gonna let me in that mind of yours?'

'I'd rather you didn't get into my mess of a head handsome.'

'How about you give me a try?'

'I'm a little bit hey wired up there at the moment, too many things crashing into one another. Let's not add an exceedingly hot statuesque God of chocolate thunder yeah?'

He laughed. 'Let me in Pen; let me sort that head of yours out.'

'To be honest sugar pants I'm not sure you can this time round.'

'Can't give a guy a hard time for at least trying.'

'I know and I appreciate that, really I do.'

'I'll strike a deal... gimme so pointers... what topics are occupying your mind right now?' He said with genuine concern, he'd been worried for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks since Haley's death.

She exhaled heavily. 'Kevin, Haley, You, Battle, Hotch, Jack, Us, my brother's, my whole entire life in general.'

'That's a hefty long list to have playing out.'

'Don't say I didn't warn you about getting involved in my mess.' Penelope told him seriously, her attention still unmoving from the view in front.

'Well I'm intrigued now, so let's work through this list shall we?'

'It's a big ole can of worms handsome.' She said as he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, squeezing her shoulder supportively. 'What do I need to do to get you to give up?'

'Talk to me.' He told her. 'So what's up with the Kevin topic?'

'I dumped him.' She said without any hesitation. 'No questions need to be asked there, pure and simple, it's me not you, I can't keep this going situation.'

'Right.' He said, knowing she'd take that how he meant, that he was there when she was ready. 'Now I'm guessing the Haley, Hotch and Jack bits are all linked?'

'Spot on... you know as well as me what it's like to lose someone, he's only 4 Derek, he's going to grow up without his mom, without her being able to show how proud of him she really is, how he's going to miss out on so many moments with him. And then there's Hotch...' She stopped as her voice shook and began to break as the tears began to well in her eyes and the lump in her throat began to feel exceedingly larger. 'He loves her still and now there's no hope of Jack having his mom and dad back together, there's no happily ever after there and it's all because of one man. The one man that'd proven we don't always win.'

Derek felt her body shake as she held in her sobs, as she restrained from crying. 'As much as she try and as hard as we fight, someone's always going to win, we won against Foyet but we were just too late, in a way we saved Hotch and Jack but we lost Haley in the process and that was not something we intended. We just need to understand that some people know just how we work, and some don't.'

'But we lost big.'

'In a way we always lose big.' Derek reasoned. 'Just this time hit right at home, but then it's times like this that show us who we love and who our family is.'

'I guess so.' She replied completely unconvinced.

'Now... Battle? No wait, let's save him for near last, your brothers?'

'Plain and simple, I think I need to track them down.'

'I'm sure we can do that baby girl... now Battle?'

'Let's say nights haven't been pleasant.'

'Nightmares?'

'Yup, can you have day-mares too?' She asked rhetorically. 'Because I am, I'm feeling everything I did when I woke up in that hospital.'

'What were you feeling goddess?'

'Regret, total humiliation, sadness, anger.'

'Why would you be humiliated baby girl? You didn't ask to be shot.'

'I was mean to you because you warned me, you told me to be careful but I blatantly wasn't, I walked right into that one.' She said a ran a hand over her head as she did truly break then but undeterred she carried on. 'I got myself shot, no one else, I flagged those cases, I got myself an Angel of Death after me, I did all that, I wasn't some random robbery gone wrong ,or some defenceless woman in the wrong place at the wrong time, I put myself in that place, and I put myself in the target range.'

'No one asks to be shot Pen. No one deserves that. Especially not you, what you did was purely because you thought you were helping others and you did because now they have peace of mind knowing that the person that took their love one is now gone. Even if they don't know that another family's loved one had to go through the process of getting hurt.'

'You make a convincing argument sometimes Morgan.' She told him sarcastically with a muttered breath.

'Now, I do believe we are nearing the end of that list, what's up with 'us' or me?'

'We've drifted apart.' She said and regretted the way it came out but she couldn't hold back. 'I'm so sick of walking on eggshells around you, I'm sick of pretending everything's dandy when our friendship is near nonexistent.' She felt him tense at her words. 'This is the closest we've been in months Derek; this is the most we've spoken outside of a case.'

'I'm sorry about that.'

'Why be sorry? Life intervened, God's grand design, your fate.' She shrugged, like this topic wasn't affecting her the most. 'Everything happens for a reason. Probably the same reason I got shot, probably the same reason I got it on with Lynch, probably the same reason Foyet won and you got with Tamara.'

'How does Tamara fit in exactly?'

'It doesn't matter... really, it doesn't.' Penelope said and sat from her comfortable position. 'I told you not to get into my head.'

'Penelope, how does Tamara fit in?'

'Derek, it doesn't matter.' She said as she strung out the words deliberately. 'Like I said, life's questionable right now.'

'There is no way I'm doing half a job. What's Tamara got to do with anything in your life?' He asked almost agitatedly.

'You really can't see it?' She said finally giving him eye contact; she saw he was absolutely clueless. 'It's a female version of Battle without the urge to kill you added on the end. I warn you, you ignore me, what's done is done. Just don't regret it.'

'I didn't ignore you.' Penelope snorted with disbelief and Derek flinched. 'I'm not with her, I'm not with anyone.'

'Why's that?'

'It was completely wrong.' Derek was truthful there. 'I was messing things up, most importantly I was messing things up with you and I didn't want to do that, I need you in my life.'

'I'm sure you don't, some girls going to come and long and be the one for you handsome.'

'I think she already has baby girl.'

'Excuse me?' She asked and twisted to face him, he was closer than before, his breath heated, his eyes alive, his scent lingering. 'Derek...'

She only had time to say his name before his lips crashed into hers and he let go of every little hesitation he had kept and let loose, when he pulled away he looked at her. 'Kevin was your mistake; Tamara was mine, you, baby girl, are who I want.' Penelope blushed at what he just said. 'I told you once, I'll tell you again.' He told her. 'Hey silly girl, you know I love you right?' Her breath hitched with those words, she remembered that night like it was only yesterday. 'Now do you question life?' He asked her.

For once in weeks, maybe even months, she didn't.

Derek Morgan had swooped in and sorted her out once again.

The End!

Just a one shot that was whizzing round my head!! =)