(I like to point out I don't own the song or The Fault in our Stars, if I did both would be cheerful but that's thing about the Fault in Our Stars it demands all the feels, Anyways this is one shot of a girl who went to same support Group of Hazel and Gus…how even one person can change your life)
Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Cancer by My Chemical Romance
I don't know if you ever had cancer but it sucks. I mean yeah I think you know it would but it does. I mean its not just the cancer it's the doctors saying you have no chance to get through this so here is some chemo and drugs
I was I guess you can say normal child but I was always quite anyways. But when I was 11 years old my Aunt died of Cancer. She was my favorite person and well that kind of sucked. She was great person, and that was the 1st sign of hey cancer is real and you could get it too. Which is not something you want to tell your children.
Anyways on my 16 they found tumor in my brain. I mean I didn't really see it. Okay I was having seizures and they did know why..than bam…..scan of my Brian and hello tumor. They did surgery right away and they did it with out hurting me but they couldn't get all of tumor so chemo which sucked.
Besides that my mom pulled me out of school and I took online classes. I mean it wasn't like anyone would miss me at school . When I told my mom that she thought I was depressed and sent me to a support group for kids like me.
Also the feeling seeming my parents seeing me go through this. I knew they didn't want me to have me suffer and I also didn't want them to see me like this. Because Losing them the people I love just hurts.
So I met Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace but never really talked at all us just said "Hello". I went to the group and never spoke even after Augustus died or when Hazel left a year after. It was after her funeral I sat there, wiping tears from my eyes that I realized things.
Like the time when Augustus about his fear of not being remembered. Which I agreed everyone is. But when he and hazel died, their story stick with me. I didn't know much but I knew what Isaac told me, he talked to me about them and I wished I got to knew both of them because I knew we would be great friends.
So I was sitting in wheelchair, I had taken chemo earlier and feeling quite tried still I wanted to go and fought with my parents because of it. I listen to the people who talked about her and What Isaac said "The world sucks without you both".
I know that someday we will die and maybe we will not be remembered but for time being at this moment this very day, these two people who didn't know that well has touch my life. They will always in my mind and so many others be remembered. The stories to tell about them will go on and who knows but still its not just a story, it happen.
Being with cancer like I told you sucks, and seeing people living a normal life with out cancer sucks because you want that. I know I'm teenager with cancer but its "side effect of dying", at least that what I heard Hazel say one day. And thinking about it is.
Cancer is just way getting us closer to death which sucked because I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. At first I did want to die, I gave up, I just thought hell this is it but Hazel and Augustus showed me that even though we had cancer and sure we were dying, we were still living and that had to count for something.
This whole time I felt Cancer controlled me and in some way it does but that's a thing about this, is that even through I have it and it sucks, I can't just give up I have to live. Because so many people have it worse than me, they lose legs, or arms or have sucky lungs and living this way..isn't going to get me anywhere. Sure I had to still remind myself I had this but I was still me.
So the Doctors said I have months to live and everything is looking sad. I mean the MRI showed tumors that can't be killed by Chemo and surgery is out of the question so I'm on my own.
I wonder if I will be remembered like my parents but not just them. Like I want to be remembered as the girl who fought. I tried I tried so hard and I fought so hard. But Cancer sometimes just kicks you in the ass.
I am Sarabeth Jones, short pixie blonde hair and grey eyes. I am 17 years old, and I'm dying with Cancer but still living and I will keep on living till the die of my life. Sure I can't change how people think or solve cancer. But I can still be best person I can and no matter what happens even if I die, I will carry those who lost this battle in my heart.
And This is How My Life was Changed by Man with one and half legs and girl with sucky lungs.