-Me- Hello my fellow fan fiction people this is my Thirty-eighth Invader Zim story. I strongly suggest that you read the other thirty in order before you read this one otherwise you will not get it. Here is the order. Cool Zim, The Stacker that came from the Stars, Zim and Gaz together at last, Zim's First Love, Zim's Future, Army Zim, Zim's Worst Nightmare, Zim and Fruit what a pair, Dib's New Alley, Amethyst's weird cruse of Doom, The Return of the Stalker that came from the Starts, Pool of Horrors, Talent show of Doom, Grand prize of RJ Doom, Halloween Terrors Combined, Annoying new job of Doom, New challenges, Maybe a New Alley for Dib, Kierra's Grand entrance, Jump in the line home alone dance party, A day with Amethyst, Thanksgiving interview, When Dance Dance Revolution and Waffles Meet, Zim's one little Slip, It'll be the end of the world invaderzimfannumber1and, Amethyst's 1st and Most Horrible Almost X-Mas Ever, Christmas Eve Shopping Spree, The Most Wonderful X-Mas Ever, Amethyst and Kierra's Worst Day Ever, End of the Year Sleep Over, Friday the 13th Valentine Stalker, Poison Bloody Pineapple, Hearts and Arrows, Bloody Sword Transfusion, First day back, Final Destination Iz style, Fourth of July Speech of Doom, First Date, Opposite Day, Neurotically Nice, Sonic Siren, Romance Blooming Deception, The Candy Zombie of Horror, Zombie Squeal, Thanksgiving Turkey Surprise, Invader Zim Western, Crash Course, A Meekrob Christmas Carol, Birthday Surprise, Half Knowledge, Project Cupid and Motorcycle Mayhem. I don't own Invader Zim. I wish I did, but I don't. ENJOY AND REVIEW!
Paranormal Pests
Setting 1 Shadow P.O.V
You know how you have those days when everything seems to go from good to bad to worse really really fast. Well I am having one of those days. Allow me to tell you all about it.
The day started out great I got a new horror comic in the mail and it's awesome. Although in retro speck I probably should not have been reading it in class when I should have been paying attention because that's when all the trouble started.
Anyway while I was reading my book Mr. Elliot walked in with a big smile on his face. Then tells everybody about a new project and passes out some papers to the class. At least that is what I think was happening as I said before I was not paying attention and because of my lack of attention I put the answers to the make your own scary story in my comic book on my piece of paper and I used a pen so I could not erase my answers.
At first I did not think it was that big of a deal until I found out that because of my answers on my career identification test I was deemed a Paranormal Investigator along with Jason. Paige is going to be a florist and Gaz is going to be a video game tester, big shocker for both of their results not. Meef is going to make cards and candy in a factory. I don't know whether to consider that a good or a bad thing and Amethyst is going to be an Elementary School Teacher which she is not at all happy about. I told her she should not worry about it because we are leaving Earth soon, but she says it's the principal of the matter. She hates the idea of being labeled as a Filthy Earth School Teacher. Then I told her she should consider herself luck that her test results will not get her secret exposed and she said "Oh please you're disguise is advanced Irken Technology and Jason has been able to hide his secret for years. So you'll be fine, but if you are still concerned call Dib and ask for his advice." So we did.
He was not much help though. All he said was that Jason should avoid anti-vampire stuff like garlic, crosses, and stakes and that I should keep my hat on and not show the Paranormal Investigator my watch, because of its obvious advanced alien technology. Of course we already knew that dah! And then just when he was about to maybe tell us something useful our Paranormal Investigator Mentor, Bill, shows up takes my cell phone away and throws it on the ground. Not cool dude. I did not even get a change to pick it up before he made us go to his car. He so owes me a new phone. Anyway now you are up to speed and we are off to face who knows what with a possibly insane man wish us luck.
Setting 2 Bill's Car and No More P.O.V
Shadow and Jason were in Bill's car. Shadow was sitting in the back and Jason was up front with Bill.
-Shadow- So ah Bill what exactly are we going after?
-Bill- An alien.
-Shadow- (He gulped.) Really.
-Jason- What kind?
-Bill- A girl green one named…
-Jason and Shadow- Amethyst…
-Bill- You know here good then she won't suspect your betrayal.
-Shadow- Look Bill you're right we do know her and she's not an alien.
-Bill- That's just what she wants you to think.
-Jason- Yah, but what makes you think she's an alien?
-Bill- I don't think I know. You see my agency got a tip that two aliens were going to your school a long time ago and for the longest time my colleges believed it to be false because the information was given to us by a big headed kid… (They heard someone yell "MY HEADS NOT BIG!".) Did you hear something? Hmm they may already be on to us we had best talk quieter. Anyway I owe that kid a favor. So I took the case plus look at that girl (He showed them a picture of Amethyst that Dib obviously took and sent in a long time ago before he became friends with the aliens.) she has green skin and only aliens are green because it's in their sick genes.
-Shadow- Yah but…
-Bill- Shh… We're here. (He stopped the car.)
-Shadow- Where?
-Bill- I saw the alien get into the car ahead of us and I followed her to this… (They got out of the car and saw that they were at an Elementary School.) Huh she plans to corrupt the minds of elementary school kids as if they were not corrupted enough by the evil government conspiracies, the thinned come on let's go expose that sick alien creature. (They walked up to the back window.)
-Shadow- Jason what are we going to do we can't let him turn Amethyst into a science experiment.
-Jason- Don't worry Shadow I have a plan. (He walked up to Bill and said.) Bill you know a lot of people get accused of being aliens everyday and they usually are aliens, but when they are not the one responsible usually gets into a lot of trouble so I think we should test Amethyst to see if she really is an alien.
-Bill- Good call little man and I just happen to have a list of alien tests with me right here. (She said taking out the list from inside his pocket.) The first test is no alien can eat human food. So we'll switch her alien food with some human food during lunch time and if she has an allergic reaction to it then she is an alien if not we'll move on.
-Shadow- Alright and we should make her eat a waffle, because what is more human than that?
-Bill- Nothing exactly now we just have to wait till lunch time then we'll see who's pretending to be what they're not.
Setting 3 Mrs. Smiles Kinder Garden Classroom
Mrs. Smiles and Amethyst walked into her classroom. There were at least 20 kids in the classroom playing on the rug near the chalk board.
-Mrs. Smiles- Good morning class.
-Children- Good morning Mrs. Smiles.
-Mrs. Smiles- Today we have a very special guest. Class say hello to Amethyst.
-Children- Hello Amethyst.
-Mrs. Smiles- She will be shadowing me today, because she is going to be an Elementary School Teacher when she gorse up.
-Amethyst- Says a stupid test so fat chance.
-Mrs. Smiles- Did you say something dear?
-Amethyst- Nope…
-Mrs. Smiles- O.k. now Amethyst go have s eat on the floor with the children and the lesson will begin. (Amethyst sad down on the rug, and started counting the minutes till this hell was over.) Alright children last week we were discussion the letter Y and words that start with Y. So now we'll begin studying the letter Z. (She said taking out a card board piece with the letter Z on it in big and small wording on it.) Can anybody tell me a word that begins with the letter Z? Amethyst how about you?
-Amethyst- My brother's name is Zim and that starts with a Z.
-Mrs. Smiles- Wonderful job Amethyst. Now class let's spell and sound out Zim.
-Children- Z.I.M Z…I…M… (She all spelled out the word and sounded it out too except for Amethyst she just pretended to do so by moving her moth around. I can't help, but think that Zim would enjoy hearing kids say his name a lot.)
-Mrs. Smiles- Very good class now can anybody else tell us another word that being with Z?
-Tina- Zebra.
-Kim- Zack.
-Kenny- Zeke.
-Luke- Zoo.
-Mrs. Smiles- Very good class now I want you all to go to your desk and write in your Words and Letter Journal an uppercase and lower case Z and words that being with Z. Then we will break for lunch. (They all went to their desk and started writing then it was lunch time.)
Setting 4 Lunch Time
Amethyst was sitting alone at lunch time and Bill, Shadow, and Jason were watching her while hiding behind the door that leads to the teacher's lounge.
-Bill- O.k. there she is now go over there and replace her alien food with this waffle and because you're her friends if you get caught she won't probe you. (He said giving Shadow the waffle.)
-Shadow- (He rolled his eyes about the probing comment and said.) Yah right like she would really probe us.
-Amethyst- (They replaced her food with the waffle and ran off.) Hmm… (She said taking out the waffle and looking at it.) I thought I packed an Irken Sandwich instead of a waffle. (She looked around and did not see the guys then she looked back at the waffle shrugged her shoulders and took a bite.) Mmmm… good. (She ate more of it and as we all know nothing happened.)
-Shadow- You see she's not having an allergic reaction to the waffle so she's human which means we're done here.
-Jason- Yep he's right come on let's go chase a chupacabra or something.
-Bill- No we're not done here we still have nine more tests to do and besides chupacabras don't exist that's just what they want you to believe.
-Shadow- Oh what seriously nine more test man isn't there anyway we can do these stupid tests really fast.
-Bill- Yes there is one way "Alien Test Montage".
-Jason and Shadow- What?
-Alien Test Montage- The first test was purring water on Amethyst's head while her back was turned, but because she was wearing glue her skin did not burn. Hey mom there's something in the backroom
Hope it's not the creatures from above
Then during reading time Amethyst was supposed to read a book to the students, but Bill bribed a kid to make her read a book with alien writing in it, but because it was not Irken writing and maybe not even real alien writing Amethyst's Pak Translator could not read it and neither could she. You used to read me stories
Then during nap time they tested to see if she fell asleep to Mrs. Smiles boring story like the other children and because it ware really boring she did. As if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb
What if people knew that these were real
I'd leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
Then during arts and craft time Bill switched the arts and crafts activity with a broken alien thing to see if Amethyst could fix it and because it was not Irken technology she could not. I wish someone would tell me what was right
Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Then during music time they made a kid play the song from Mars Attacks for Amethyst to see if her head would explode like the aliens in the movie and it did not in fact she kind of liked the song. Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you
The next test involved seeing if Amethyst could levitate something with her mind by throwing a cup at her head which hit her because she was not expecting it. At the end of that test Shadow and Jason looked at Bill hopping they were done but he just shook his head and they said AW! I am still a skeptic yes you know me
Been best friends and will be till we die
I got an injection
Of fear from the abduction
My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies
Alright
Then they looked up her skin condition online to see if it was real which it is because Amethyst and Zim put it up a long time ago. Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
Then during recess they got a kid to pull Amethyst hair to see if it was a wig and because it is not it just made her really angry and she chased the kid. I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you
End of Montage.
-Shadow- Yes we're finally done.
-Bill- No there is still one more test left.
-Shadow- What oh come on?
-Jason- Seriously man the music stopped and… Oh alright what is the last test.
-Bill- Usually alien disguises are electronic so I'm going to make an electromagnetic plus with my watch and aim it at the alien and then we'll see she her true form.
-Shadow- What… NO… (He said in slow motion trying to stop Bill, but it was too late he unleashed the plus and Amethyst's disguise came off exposing her antenna, but not her eyes.
-Bill- I knew it… (He said in slow motion.) Get her… (He started to chase her everything was still in slow motion.)
-Shadow- RUN AMETHYST… (He said slowly and loudly.)
-Amethyst- Huh… Ahh… (The chase began slowly.)
-Shadow- Why are we going in slow motion let's run… (Everything was back to normal speed and Bill was still chasing Amethyst and Shadow and Jason were chasing him.)
-Music-Amethyst ran on to and jumped off the swings, and Bill, Shadow, and Jason did the same thing. Then she ran across the field with them close behind. She rested on the marry-go-round and Bill almost caught her but she got away and spun the marry-go-round and Bill around really fast and ran. Then she ran up the stairs and slid down the slid but they still pursued her. Dark and scary, ordinary
Explanation, information
Nice to know ya, paranoia
Where's my mother, im father
Amethyst even climbed the across the monkey bars to get away from the idiot Paranormal Investigator and ran throw the sprinkler and she finally lost Bill, but Shadow and Jason saw where she went and they went after her. Up all night long
And there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
Been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
Twelve majestic lies
-Amethyst- (She sat down in her hiding place and caught her breathe.)
-Shadow- Hey Amethyst.
-Amethyst- AHH! STAY AWAY! (She realized who it was.) Oh Shadow Jason what are you guys doing here and who is that filthy human and why is he chasing me?
-Shadow- He's our Paranormal Investigator Mentor and he knows you're an alien.
-Amethyst- What how my disguise is (Shadow showed her a mirror.) AHH IT'S GONE!
-Jason- Yah he used an electromagnetic plus to short out your disguise watch, but don't worry I have another plan. (He gathered them into a huddle and told them his plan.)
-Jason- Bill… (He ran up to Bill.)
-Bill- Little man have you see the… (He saw Amethyst running for her life.) There she goes. (He chased her and caught her.) I've got you now you… (He saw that her antennas were just alien costume antenna.)
-Amethyst- Please don't hurt me I'm normal…
-Bill- But I thought…
-Jason- Well would you look at that they were fake alien antenna all along.
-Shadow- (He walked up to them.) Yah I guess she's not an alien after all.
-Bill- Darn and I was so sure. Oh well come on boys we still have some time to go look at a crop circle.
-Shadow and Jason- Great… (They both said very sarcastically.)
The End
-Me- Well that was it I hope you all liked this re-write better then my first attempt. Now I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is I won't be releasing a new Invader Zim story for a while. The good news is I am going to be releasing some new drawings like the cover for this story and other drawing and I am going to be writing and publishing my second Adventure Time fanfiction on deviantart and fanfiction soon. I am still trying to decide on a title and what I should make the cover look like. I hope you enjoy this fanfiction again till then and don't forget to review and I leave you all with these very true words ZIM WILL LIVE FOREVER!