First off, this idea has been swimming in my head for so long! I just had to write it and post it, it's a one shot and I can't even think of my other stories with this bugging me! So here it goes! Please enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters!
Blind
Bella POV (BTW you might want to know they're all human if you didn't read the summary till the end =P)
Have you ever loved someone who doesn't even notice it? Have you ever had your heart broken for so many times you've lost the count, and by only one person?
Well I have…
His name is Edward. He's been my best friend for as long as I've known him. He's almost perfect… Almost… He's handsome, tall with bronze air that looks like he's just got out of bed, emerald green eyes, the most stunning smile you could imagine, he's sweet and kind, he helps everyone he sees in trouble… His qualities are so many I can't say them all. But the only flaw he has is the biggest one I can think of… He's blind. Not literally blind of course… He just can't see what is right in front of him… And that is me.
It started out as friendship but I remember perfectly the day it all changed.
It was a sunny afternoon, which is rare in the small town of Forks, we were around 14. We were both outside just hanging out talking about unimportant stuff when he turned to me and stared at me with those beautiful eyes.
"Bella, can I ask you something?" He had asked me.
"Of course…" I answered.
"Have you ever kissed a guy?" That question had caught me completely off guard. I felt the all too familiar heat rise to my cheeks as I looked away.
"No…" I said embarrassed. I remember being sure he had kissed girls before.
I turned my head slightly to look at him and he had this crooked grin plastered on his face that always made melt. He stared at me for a moment and finally spoke.
"Would you like to try?" My eyes widened and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Edward had always been handsome but until then I had never seen him as more than a friend.
Suddenly without warning he crushed his lips to mine. It was just for a few seconds but to me it seemed like a long time, feeling his warm lips on top of mine was so wonderful, so good… He backed away and looked to the other side smiling.
"Your lips are soft…" He said.
We were just kids, to him it might not have meant anything but to me, it meant everything, it meant the world.
Since that day I've loved him. I've loved him with every part of my being but he didn't see it. He probably didn't even remember that day. It was just another day. To me, I can even say it was the first day of my life; I hadn't been living until that moment. But the life that started that day wasn't a good one. It was a life full of pain.
Two years after the day Edward had kissed me I was sitting at a table, having lunch with his sister, Alice, when Edward started walking towards our table with another girl, her name was Tanya. She was a nice girl, Edward had been spending a lot of time with her lately and I admit it kind of got me jealous but I didn't think anything of it.
He looked at us with a big smile on his lips. "Bella, Alice, you already know Tanya right?" We both nodded. "Well, I'd like to introduce her to you, as my girlfriend." His smile grew wider when he said the word 'girlfriend'.
On the contrary the small smile I had disappeared completely from my face leaving it expressionless. That was the first time I really experienced pain. It was the first time he really broke my heart. The thing is it wasn't the last. From that day on I stopped seeing him as many times because he would always be with Tanya. She wasn't a bad person she was really nice to me actually, but didn't help the hatred I felt towards her for stealing any hopes I had to be with Edward.
Every single time I saw him with her it broke my heart all over again. I would cry myself to sleep every night.
One day I gathered the courage to tell someone. I couldn't possibly tell him so I told the next best thing, Alice. But I couldn't do it the first time…
I approached her with tear stained cheeks. A worried expression took over her face. "Bella, what happened?" She ran to me and hugged me tightly. A few sobs escaped but I composed myself and looked her straight in the eye.
"Alice, I have to tell you something." I said determined to get this out.
"What is it, why have you been crying?"
"I," I choked down a sob and took a deep breath. I tried keeping the tears in but to no avail.
One single tear fell down my cheek and that was enough, many more followed that one and I couldn't stop. I couldn't even think his name because it would remind me I could never have him, let alone admit to someone else that I loved him.
Alice held me next to her as I cried on her shoulder staining her pretty shirt with my tears. After what felt like forever I managed to cease the crying. As I prepared myself to tell her the last person I needed there that moment walked towards us.
Edward came walking with Tanya glued to his side. He had his arm over her shoulders and she had her arm around his waist. He kissed her on the cheek and she kissed his lips. Edward looked at me and when he saw my red eyes and the small tears that fell down my cheeks his smile fell. After all he didn't know; he still cared about me as his friend.
He ran to me. "Bella what happened to you?" He asked concerned.
I covered my mouth with my hands and shut my eyes tightly trying to keep the tears in. I couldn't, they streamed down my face freely and I couldn't bear having him there next to me, watching me have an emotional breakdown when he's the cause of it. I turned on my heels and ran the opposite direction. I still heard Alice's voice yell 'What the hell did you do?' to Edward.
I didn't go to school the other day. I was an emotional mess and if I saw Edward I would most likely breakdown. Alice came to my house that afternoon after class. And it was then that I told her.
"Bella, why are you like this? What's worrying you so much?" She asked gently stroking my arm.
I stared at her in the eye. "I-I… I'm in love with Edward…" I said breaking into tears and sobs for the millionth time, crying over him.
Alice put her little arms around me. "Oh Bella…" She simply said but it was enough to let me know I wouldn't have a chance with him.
Once I had let that out of my chest it got a little more bearable to be next to Edward, Tanya or both because after what I told her, Alice never left my side. Every time my mood seemed down she gave me a reassuring smile or hand squeeze; that was enough to get me through the day but not through the night… I still cried myself to sleep, and had nightmares that woke me up screaming.
But Alice wasn't always there for me. During classes I was all alone with just myself and my thoughts.
Another year passed. Today Edward and I have biology together. I was used to being next to him and hide my emotions but every time he talked about Tanya and 'how great she is' the pain in my chest would get more unbearable.
Right now, he has broken my heart so many times, to such tiny pieces that it has turned to dust. Edward and I aren't the friends we had been all those years ago. I'm guilty for that as I was the one who started avoiding. We're still friends we just don't talk that much.
Today Edward and I were alone in the parking lot, having a pleasant conversation which was rare in the past year. But that feeling couldn't possibly last very long… At least not with my luck…
"Bella, I want to tell you something…"
"I'm listening…"
"I," There was a long pause. "I think I love Tanya…" The dust that was my heart was blown away leaving nothing but hole in my chest.
"W-what?"
"I'm going to tell her… What do you think?" Oh Edward why are you so blind?
"S-sure… T-that's great." I sobbed.
"Bella are you okay?" He asked.
"Just fine…" I looked away as one tear escaped.
I slowly walked to my truck and climbed in. I drove home and got in closing the door behind me.
I sat on the kitchen chair and let the salty tears fall leaving its path marked on my cheeks. I got up and walked to the kitchen counter. I grabbed a knife and put the blade next to my wrist.
"This was the last time you broke my heart, Edward…" I whispered pressing the blade down to my wrist watching the red liquid flow freely making its way to the ground.
Edward POV
I watched Bella go to her truck and drive home when Tanya came from behind me and put her arms around me.
"Hi baby…" She whispered in my ear kissing my lips lightly.
"I'm sorry Tanya, I have to go check on Bella, and she didn't look that good when she left. I have to see if she's okay…"
"Of course, go…"
I got inside my car and quickly drove to Bella's house. I had the feeling that something was very wrong. I rang the bell and no one answered. I rang again.
"Bella? Bella, are you there? Bella!" I shouted while knocking on the door. "Bella!" I turned the door knob, it was locked.
I searched for the spare key I knew she hid under the vase next to the door and opened the door.
"Bella!" I called. "Bella, where are you?"
I looked in the living room and she wasn't there, I went to the kitchen and saw her kneeling on the ground with a pool of blood around her. I saw she was holding her left hand in the other. She had cut her wrist.
"For god's sake Bella why would you do this?" I ran to her side.
I ripped the sleeve from my shirt and wrapped it around her cut wrist but she had lost a lot of blood already. She made an attempt to push me away but she was too weak.
"Let me die… I want to die…" She whispered weakly.
"Shut up Bella, don't say something like that!" I shouted tears stinging my eyes. "I have to take you to the hospital!" I tried lifting her up but she wouldn't let me.
"Let me go!" She yelled.
I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed 911. "Hello? My friend, she cut her wrists… She needs medical assistance fast!" I said to the woman on the other end of the line.
"What is your location?" The woman asked. I immediately told her the address. "Someone will be there as soon as possible." She said hanging up.
Bella had lied on the floor and was almost losing her senses. She inhaled and the blood that was on the ground went right to her lungs. She started choking. I just knew that she couldn't breathe and I could only think of one thing to do, mouth to mouth breathing.
I turned her back to the ground and covered her nose, I put my mouth on hers and blew a gush of air into her lungs, and I repeated this until she weakly coughed and started breathing again.
I started hearing the ambulance near the house. Bella stared at me intensely.
"Your… Your lips are soft…" She said closing her eyes.
"Bella! Bella! Bella wake up please!"
The paramedics got there and I didn't make sense of anything else. It was all just a big blur.
I went to the hospital with them. I stayed outside waiting while Bella received a blood transfusion. Why would she try to kill herself, something was seriously wrong in her life.
Alice came through the door and ran to me. "What happened to Bella?"
"She's getting a blood transfusion…" I said.
"What. Happened?"
"She tried to kill herself… Her wrist…" I whispered.
"Oh no… What did you do?"
"What?" I asked confused and honestly a bit angry. "This is not my fault!"
"This is obviously your fault! I know no other reason! The only person who could possibly hurt her enough to make her kill herself is you Edward!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She loves you Edward! If only you had figured that out yourself she wouldn't be here! What did you do to her?"
"She… Oh god…" I sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room. "I told her I loved Tanya…"
She slapped me. "Why would you that? You insensitive monster! You might as well have been the one to kill her!" Tears ran down her face. After a long pause she calmed down and regret took over her features. "I'm sorry…" She whispered sitting next to me.
"It's okay, I deserved it… Since when?" She knew what I wanted to know.
"Since you kissed her when you were 14…" Alice answered. Your lips are soft… I had said.
"Damn it… How could I be so…" I left the question unfinished not knowing what to say.
"Blind?"
"Yes…" There was a moment of silence before I spoke again. "I had a thing for her back then you know? But I thought she didn't like me back so I tried to move on…"
"What do you mean tried to?" She asked carefully. I just shrugged.
Alice put her head on my shoulder and took a few deep breaths to calm down her low crying. Carlisle walked in with an expressionless look. That was usually bad…
"How is she?" Alice immediately asked getting up.
"She lost a lot of blood…" Carlisle said slowly.
"No…" Alice whispered. I stayed silent and paralyzed with… I don't even know… So many emotions were taking over me right now…
"I'm sorry… I tried everything I could but… I'm sorry…"
"No… You're lying! She's not dead! You're lying!" Alice shouted.
I got up and enveloped her in my arms. She cried staining my shirt but I didn't care… All I could think of was that I would never see her blush again; I would never see her smile or hear her voice again… And it was all because of me… She killed herself because of me, I killed her…
3rd Person POV
They walked inside the room and found her motionless body. He somehow expected to see her smiling at him and yelling 'Gotcha!' but it obviously didn't happen.
He walked to her side and took her hand in his. He squeezed it hoping she would squeeze it back but nothing happened. One tear fell but no more followed.
She spent her whole life trying to make him see her, but he was too blind. Look at her now, unmoving, her heart had been broken too many times to be put together and she saw no other solution than to stop it from beating at all.
She expected him to figure it out some time, but when he did, it was too late. She wanted a happily ever after, but not all stories have a happy ending…
A/N: That was just bugging me, I had to get it out! I hope you liked it! Please review and tell me what you thought of it!