Disclaimer: As ever I do not own Criminal Minds!


Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I'm sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

I've seen it, I've seen it begin, seen it grow, seen it spread, seen it disperse, seen it fade, seen it disappear.

Only for it to grow again.

I've seen the circle repeat.

The vicious circle of a vicious relationship. I've sat at the side for too long while you've told us all is fine, that you fell or that you walked into a cupboard but now I'm taking my stand.

Now I'm going to protect you, now I'm doing what I should've done too long ago, I'm sick of seeing the scared look in your beautiful eyes, I'm sick of seeing you breathe deeply to make sustenance to get through things, like it's now a learnt behaviour for the lowest of tasks.

I want to stop whatever horrors you're going through.

Stop the pain.

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

I came up behind you the other day, you jumped, you screamed, you shook, you even cried, all these aren't your usual behavioural traits.

You don't have to prove a thing to me, I'd keep you safe, I'd keep you happy, I wouldn't feel the need and answer the urge to use you as my own personal punching bag.

It's like you feel you need to prove to him that you can handle it and in a way prove to us too. That you will get up after and be his girlfriend, love him.

But that thought doesn't enter your mind as he comes towards you does it? As your heart quickens in its pace and your breathing races, as your eyes widen with fear and you know what's about to happen.

But you won't leave; you won't let yourself be alone. You won't go through the pain of a single life but you'll endure the life of pain at the hands of someone you're so desperately trying to love.

Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he's here means he's never lost

So the vicious circle continues to engulf you, to take you over, to pull you from a life that makes you feel safe and happy. Pulls you from all normalcy, pulls you from a place where you can ride above it all.

Because at the end of the day, you being there, you not leaving shows his dominance, proves to you and everyone that knows what is happening that he is winning. Every new bruise, scratch, graze, red mark, proves his defeat against you.

So you close your eyes, shut your mind off, place yourself somewhere where the hurt doesn't exist, where the hurt isn't there, a place that you stay until his final blow of that session.

You open your eyes and you know it's over, if only for now, you know things will be normal once again, if only for now.

As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering, will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's too late to pick up the value of my life

I burst in, I feel no satisfaction in this moment, not like when I save victims from cases because to me, you aren't a victim, I couldn't place you there when you were shot, I can't place you there now. I see him, I see you. I see that new bruise you're sporting on your jaw and you attempt to hide it, attempt to make this moment less intense.

It's too late; I'm here for you, here for him too.

I charge in, he puts up a fight, puts his rights out there as your boyfriend. I can't help but laugh, he thinks he has a right to touch you with harm and love you in the same league. I don't take lightly to that type of thing.

I look at you; you look lost in this world, like there's no way out this rabbit hole, like it's a lifelong nightmare. You look me in the eyes, dead straight and I see it's hard for you to do.

I'm shocked; you could always hold my eyes, challenge me. Then all of a sudden something flickers and a live wire ignites in them and you spark to life.

You've made a decision. You know it, I know it and he even knows it now.

You don't look like a victim anymore, you don't look like life's tortuous, and you don't look like a deer caught in the headlights, your you.

There's a regained life about you, you smile at me, you know why I'm here, you know I'm here to get you out of your personal hell, allow you freedom from the pain and misery that lives in this apartment.

Then without realising it I'm holding you in my arms as protectively as I can get you, holding onto you for my life, for your life.

Then I tell you the most natural thing I can possibly tell you. 'You're safe now baby girl.'


A/N: So I wrote this song and realised without trying to that the lyrics kind of read like Garcia's part in the relationship...

Song: Rihanna- Russian Roulette

Hope you liked!! =)