DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUZUMIYA HARUHI NO YUUTSU/THE MELANCHOLY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA. I DO NOT WISH TO BREAK ANY COPYRIGHTED RESTRICTIONS, AND THIS FANFICTION IS ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.

(Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction, occurring in the anime universe of Haruhi, so, in a sense, the entire Anti-SOS Brigade is non-existent here. It's really the only way I can put my planned plot into action, here. Sorry ASOS fans.)

Suzumiya Haruhi no Densetsu

KYON'S POV

Self Proclaimed: Humanoid interface formed by an alien race. Yuki Nagato

Self Proclaimed: Time Traveling Girl. Mikuru Asahina

Self Proclaimed: Member of ESPer squad. Itsuki Koizumi

For years, these people have shown me honest proof of their true identities, so I may safely remove "self proclaimed" from their titles. Even though I've known them ever since my freshman year in High School, it doesn't mean I'm used to their antics. Deactivating corrupt Humanoid Interfaces, meeting the same person, but from a different time plane, and watching "Closed Spaces" collapse on themselves have made my life more exciting, but more terrifying.

Enter Haruhi Suzumiya, the source of all of this. Yes, a seemingly ordinary girl has been in control of these happenings.

But...she isn't normal, as you may have guessed already, my dear reader.

Allow me to explain:

Some consider her to be the newest step in human evolution, specifically, the Data Overmind, an advanced alien race whose purpose is to collect data from the corners of the Milky Way and interpret it.

Others think she's an accidental creation from a warp in the time-space continuum. In the future, a nameless organization of Time Travelers are currently testing their hypothesis and sent one of their own to Haruhi's time plane.

And lastly, people also refer her as a God of sorts. The Agency, a group of people with supernatural powers attributed to classic ESP have given that explanation far too many times.

Me? I think she's an annoying brat from another dimension. Just kidding, but I really don't know what she is. And for some reason, she's wished for Aliens, Time Travelers, and ESPers to exist in our world. Hence, we have Yuki Nagato, Mikuru Asahina, and Itsuki Koizumi in existence.

What about me, a simple, ordinary human possessing no elaborate abilities? I have had my guesses before, but I haven't been closer to getting an actual explanation than from after these events.

The Legend of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Chapter 1: Koizumi on Overtime

I sat in the SOS Brigade clubroom as usual, sipping warm tea that Miss Asahina so kindly brewed for us frequently, and now even more often due to the weather. Nagato was sitting in her corner, reading a light novel, and already half-way done with it.

As for our beloved Haruhi, she was surfing the web with a bored expression. Occasionally, she murmured something about subjects usually about "moe appeals" and other things of the sort.

When I noticed Koizumi was absent, I realized that the ESPer boy had been gone since Monday. I shrugged it off, thinking he could've gotten the common cold or that swine flu thingy going around these days.

I made a mental note to check up on him later.

Anyway, hours went by in the clubroom with nothing out of the ordinary happening to any of our members. Well, that was a small lie, Tsuruya-san burst in before sundown and asked Mikuru (very loudly, if I may add) about their homework. I ignored her and resumed slacking off.

I started to get more bored than usual and decided to leave first. "Well, I'm beat." I said to the Brigade, they all nodded. Miss Asahina waved to me as I exited through the door, and with that, I strode out of the school.

My bike's wheel had a small dent in it, probably from some pranksters wanting to do some vandalism. So, I spent the entire ride bobbing up and down uncontrollably. I probably looked more stupid than usual, but it didn't matter. Getting home, and away from this cold weather was all that was on my mind. Now, I believe I'm drowning you in this bland description of my trek home, so I'll just skip to when I got inside.

Shamisen, our male calico cat, greeted my by purring and pawing at my pant leg. I bent down to pet him and tossed my bag onto the couch. A seemingly normal day had gone by without incidence. My little sister greeted me with a simple "Hi" and took Shamisen to her room.

Remembering my mental note to call Koizumi and check on his condition, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number.

Riiinnnggg

Riiinnngg

Riii-

"Koizumi speaking." a weary voice greeted me at the end of the other line.

"Eh, Koizumi?" I said.

"Oh, Kyon, hell- *cough* hi, there."

"Koizumi, are you feeling alright? You've been gone for a few days, and Haruhi is getting irritated." I decided to lie.

"Is that so? Well *cough cough* I do apologize, but we've been working feverishly this past week. Apparently, our external factor has become self-aware."

"Wait, external factor?" I asked.

Koizumi's tone had gone weary. "Don't tell me the girls haven't told you already?"

"They've only told me their identities, and Haruhi's true identity and potential, as you already know."

"Oh dear...oh my...In that case, we'd better have a conference. I'll call in the girls and ask them to come. This is something you should really know."

"Midnight?"

"Yes, please. Try to get to our regular *cough* rendevouz point."

"Eh, I got it."

"See you soon." After a fit of coughing, the ESPer hung up.

I put my cell phone back in my pocket and went to my bedroom to think, eh, maybe I'll finish some of my homework while I'm at it.

(Author's Note: Looks like Kyon doesn't know everything after all. What is this external factor? Find out on the next chapter of Suzumiya Haruhi no Densetsu!)