Battle Arena!
Created: September 20, 2010 – Completed: September 20, 2010 (Revised: April 7, 2013)
[Yeah, yeah I know stupid title…moving on…]
(Contains some language.)
Battle episode 0
"Pilot"
Yusuke vs. Kuwabara
Toad: HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE BATTLE ARENA!
Audience: [Cheering Loudly.]
Toad: This is our first event where we tally up the votes from what YOU, the audience, wanna see fight!
Toadette: Today's two combatants are Urameshi Yusuke and Kuwabara Kazuma! May the two fighters please enter the arena!
[Blue and Red doors from opposite sides open slowly as Yusuke and Kuwabara enter.]
Audience: [Cheering so loud.]
Inuyasha: (from audience) Ha. This should be fun.
Krillin: Did I miss anything guys? ^^;
Gohan: Nope. Just in time. :D
Mario: Did you get the popcorn, Luigi?
Luigi: Sorry Mario…I forgot 0.0
Mario: MAMA-F*CKING-MIA Luigi!
Luigi: Please don't hurt me like last time. 0.0!
[Mario beats the crap out of Luigi while Luigi screams in pain.]
Sasuke: (grins) humph…
Red Paratrooper: OK, you two I want a nice bloody, funny, and epic fight! Got it?
Yusuke & Kuwabara: Got it.
Yusuke: You look as ugly as ever, Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: That's not what Keiko said to me in bed. (laughs)
Yusuke: You bastard!
Red Paratrooper: Alright now! Cool your jets! 3, 2, 1…BEGIN!
Yusuke charges at Kuwabara and gives him a left hook. Kuwabara ducks
and uppercuts Yusuke. Yusuke catches his punch and whacks Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: [Gets knocked back a bit.] Hehe, you hit like a girl. Use-Gay! Hehehe!
Yusuke: DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY NAME! [Charges spirit energy into his fist.]
Kuwabara: Oh sh*t!
Yusuke: SHOTGUN! [Fires like a million shots at Kuwabara.]
Kuwabara: AH! [Runs and a few shots hits him in the ass.] AHH! THAT BURNS!
Yusuke: That's what I call "Lighting you're ass on fire." (Rimshot)
Hiei: (face palm) You idiot…
Yukina: C'mon Kazuma you can do it!
Kuwabara: [Appears in front of her with passion in his eyes holding her hand.] Don't worry, my love. I will defeat Use-Gay and you can tend to my wounds afterwards.
Yukina: Um…OK Kazuma… ^^;
Red Paratrooper: Kuwabara if you don't return to the arena immediately it'll count as you forfeiting the match!
Yusuke: No, Kuwabara take your time…it's OK that you're a baby wimp!
Kuwabara: No way. I'm not a wimp, Yusuke. Spirit Sword! Sword get longer! [Uses the sword to pole volt to the arena.]
Random Audience Member: OW! MY EYE!
While in the air, Kuwabara lashes his sword at Yusuke. Yusuke dodges
and suddenly Kuwabara appears close to his face.
Yusuke: Yuck! [Shoves Kuwabara.] I don't want a "Naruto-Sasuke" moment.
Sasuke: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT DAMMIT! I'M NOT GAY!
Naruto: Then why did you smile afterwards while no one was looking…=^w^=
Sasuke: [Covers Naruto's mouth.] I told you to keep that a secret, you idiot! .
Yusuke: …Disturbing…
Kuwabara: Eww…Gross! [Smiles and sucker punches Yusuke.]
Yusuke: Hey! That was a cheap shot!
Kuwabara: [Slashes Yusuke's chest with Spirit Sword.] Hehehehe!
Yusuke: Argh…Bas-TARD! [Punching at him like a madman.]
Kuwabara grins as he dodges Yusuke's punches. Kuwabara makes
insulting faces while Yusuke's punches miss hitting him. Yusuke
gets frustrated and punches faster, finally hitting Kuwabara lots of
times. Using a bit of spirit energy to his uppercut Yusuke sents him
flying.
Kuwabara: (in air) Arg…darnnit!
Yusuke: [Appears behind him and kick him into the arena floor hard.]
Kuwabara: (coughs a bit) Ah!
Keiko: That-a-boy Yusuke! Kick Ass!
Yukina: Hey! …I want Kazuma to win…
Amy Rose: Hey Yukina. Say this instead. [Whispers into her ear.]
Yukina: [Gets up and shoves Keiko.] What yo' man got that my man don't, YO?! You best recognize Kazuma's gangster!
Genki, Hiei, Keiko, Botan: 0_0 What…the…fu-
Sonic: (face palms) Why is everyone acting ghetto. I mean fo' real. DAMMIT! Now I'm catching the ghettoness!
This fight between Yusuke and Kuwabara is still commencing. Yusuke
is getting the upper-hand over Kuwabara.
Kuwabara: Damn…he's tough. (catching breath)
Yusuke: (laughing) Hahaha, not so tough are ya', Kuwabara?
Kuwabara: Shuddup! (in head: I have to think of something fast and clever to defeat Urameshi before he beats me…but what?)
[Yusuke approaches Kuwabara slowly.]
Kuwabara: (in head: C'mon Kazuma think!) [Looks up at ceiling.] (THERE!) Argh… [Jumps up in the air high.] I bet you can't hit me with your Spirit Gun! [Sticks tongue out.]
Yusuke: Dumbass. [Grins and charges Spirit Gun.] SPIRIT GUN! [Fires at Kuwabara.]
Kuwabara: [Smiles and uses his sword to dodge.]
Same Random Audience Member: OW! MY OTHER EYE!
[Yusuke's blast hits the ceiling and the debris falls on Yusuke hard.]
Yusuke: AHH..! [Gets submerged in the rubble.]
Kuwabara: [Lands on the arena floor.]
Yusuke: [Emerges from the rubble.] That…was…a…p*ssy move… [Collapses.]
Red Paratrooper: Yusuke is unable to continue. Kuwabara Kazuma is the winner!
Audience: [Roar of cheers.]
Kuwabara: [Grins and gives the "victory" sign.]
Keiko: Dammit Yusuke. He can forget about the sex tonight. _
Yusuke: Hooray Kazuma!
Kurama: The buffoon actually won.
Hiei: …How disappointing Yusuke…
Toad: What a turnaround! Kuwabara has defeated Yusuke!
Toadette: You've just won Kuwabara! Are there any words you would like to share?
Kuwabara: Well…it's natural for a stud like me to beat up Use-Gay. In the end, Yusuke was a wimp and not as smart as me! (laughs)
Yusuke: [Gets up again.] Ku-wa-BARA!
Kuwabara: Oh sh*t! Gotta go! [Runs away.]
Yusuke: [Runs after him.] I'm gonna KILL YOU!