A/N: I've never really been much of an Artemis/Holly fan, but what the hell. If you can't beat 'em...

Disclaimer: Artemis and Holly ain't mine.

"Oh, my gods," said Holly weakly, sinking onto the loveseat in the library of Fowl Manor. "I can't believe it... I- I never even thought... I assumed there were- were years for this to happen... I don't- " The communicator she'd been speaking into dropped with a thud to the carpet. Artemis heard Foaly's muffled voice still emanating from the device and picked it up, disturbed to see Holly in such a state. Her mismatched eyes were wide and unfocused with horror and shock, her lips parted in a perfect O of dismay.

"Foaly? Foaly, tell me what is going on," said Artemis, still staring with alarm at Holly, who was in turn staring with alarm at the floor.

"Mud Boy? Oh, d'arvit," Foaly swore, his holographic face anxious. "Okay, basically, Holly's in some deep trouble. Why is kind of a long story."

"Give me the abridged version," Artemis snapped. "What is wrong with her? What's happening?"

Foaly sighed, for once not bothering with his usual witticisms. "Okay, here's the thing. By fairy law, Holly has until midnight tonight to complete a marriage ceremony."

"What? Why? Or else what?"

"Or else she loses her magic," said Foaly testily. "It started back in the time of the Frond dynasty, during the Battle of Tailte. The fairies were dying out at a seriously rapid pace. So the King instated this emergency decree to boost the population, had his warlocks set the enchantment, and afterwards no one could figure out how to reverse it. Most fairies tend to forget about it because they're already married by age one hundred, but Holly's hundredth birthday is tomorrow."

"No it's not," Holly moaned, her face in her hands. " I'm only ninety-seven, it isn't fair! I've got three more years to find a husband!"

Foaly heard her and shrugged helplessly. "It must have been the trip to Limbo that screwed it up. The magic isn't recognizing her as ninety-seven. We have a huge database of all unmarried People approaching one hundred years of age, and Holly is on the warning list. At first we didn't take much notice when the alert came up. Some fairies like to wait and get married on the very last day. Think it makes things more daring or something. But then I saw it was Holly, and... I don't know what to tell her," he said, subdued.

"And is there no way to regain the magic once it's gone?" Foaly shook his head, and Holly sniffed.

"I won't be able to be a recon officer anymore," she said in a hollow sort of voice, her eyes welling up. "The LEP doesn't employ fairies without magic. Not for positions involving above-ground activity. No more flying over the ocean, or through the mountains, no more moon-gazing in between missions." She sounded wistful, as if she were talking more to herself than to Artemis or Foaly. "I'll just be stuck underground at some desk job. I won't be able to heal myself, or anyone else, for that matter. It'll be like- like being human!" she wailed, burying her face in her lap. Artemis wasn't sure whether this should offend him. He laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Holly, it will be alright. We'll simply... find someone for you to marry," Artemis said hesitantly. "So long as she is married by tomorrow she can always annul it, can't she?" he asked Foaly.

"It doesn't work that way in our world, Artemis," said the centaur. "Fairy marriages are like magical contracts. They bind a couple together for a period of one hundred years, unless one of them dies first. And even then it's customary for the surviving spouse to wait until the century is up before dating someone else. After the first century, if the two aren't sick of each other, they renew the contract and go for another hundred. There's no backing out midway. She'd be stuck with whoever she married for a long time."

"That certainly makes things more inconvenient," Artemis sighed. "Don't you have, I don't know, a boyfriend below ground who would marry you? What about just a good friend who would live with you for the duration of the contract?"

Holly shook her head, looking lost.

"What about that guy you've been dating? What's his name, Ash Carraway?" Foaly suggested.

"We've been on two dates, Foaly. That's not really long enough for me to pop the question."

"Well, who are all your close male friends? There must be someone," said Artemis.

"Um. Well, there's Foaly."

"Okay. Married. Who else?"

"Mulch."

"...Okay, we'll come back to him. Maybe. Who else?"

"Um... There's you. And Butler," Holly concluded hopelessly.

"Oh, boy," said Artemis, massaging his temples. "Any not-so-close male friends?"

Holly's tears spilled over. "This isn't going to work, Artemis! I should just get used to the idea that I'm going to lose my magic, my job - my life-!"

"Do not say that," the boy said sharply. "Alright then, let's go back to Mulch. What if you married Mulch? I'm sure he would do it, for you."

"Oh Frond... Even if I wanted to - which I don't - I couldn't. Mulch lost his magic, and magic is what the ceremony uses to bind a couple together. It only works between two magical creatures," she said, biting her lip.

Artemis sat, eyebrows drawn together, chin resting on his palm. All was quiet except for Holly's hitching sobs. He hated seeing her like this, so sad and desperate. Finally, he made a decision.

"Holly? Do not, I don't know, be offended or anything, but- What if we got married?" said Artemis, his palms raised in a placating gesture.

Holly turned to look at him blearily. "Well, that's really nice of you to offer and all, but I just said it had to be two magical beings- "

"I know, I know. And, ah-..." Artemis shifted guiltily, wondering how to put his next words. When his extensive vocabulary failed him, he instead reached for an envelope opener lying on his desk and made a small incision in his palm. Holly watched, awestruck, as blue sparks rose from his body to heal the cut.

"Oh..." said Holly. Artemis nodded wordlessly. "So you didn't lose it, then."

"No."

"Holy shit," Foaly's amazed voice buzzed from the communicator. Artemis and Holly started. They had forgotten Foaly was still on the line. "When did that happen? No- how did that happen?"

"Time tunnel," said Artemis wearily. "I'll tell you about it some other time."

Holly was still staring at him in disbelief. Slowly, she shook her head. "Artemis... You don't know what you're offering here."

Artemis wet his lips. "Certainly, I do. A century of being magically connected to you, or at least the rest of my life. It cannot be that difficult. I would live here, you would live in Haven. I doubt I will live a full century, so you'd be free to move on when I die," he said bluntly. "You can even date someone else underground, if you wish. It isn't as if I would mind. And I would carry on with my own life."

Holly still looked stunned. "But... Would that even work?" she asked, her voice shaking. "Would the enchantment recognize it as valid? I mean, you're human... I don't think this has ever been done before."

"Does that mean you are agreeing?" said Artemis, looking at her steadily. "Don't get me wrong, I won't be hurt if you find another option."

"I... I..." Holly faltered. She looked at Foaly for any kind of assistance, but he seemed just as dumbfounded as she felt.

"Artemis, I don't know... You're awfully young, and-... I just don't know," she sighed.

"Well, you have approximately nine hours to make a decision. If you cannot find another way around the law, my offer stands." He stood up and began walking to the door. "I believe I need to go speak with Butler."

"Wait!" shouted Holly just as he reached the door. She got to her feet and took a deep breath. "I'll- I'll do it," she said. "I'll marry you."

Foaly's jaw dropped. A shadow of a smile played around Artemis' mouth. "Alright then. How do we do it?"

"Well... We need a witness for the ceremony," said Holly uncertainly. "A white cord of some sort. And an acorn."

Why do all fairy rituals involve acorns? Artemis wondered. But aloud he said, "Very well. Simple enough. Let's go find Butler, then. He can witness for us."

Holly nodded. "Alright," she said quietly. Picking up the communicator, she said, "Foaly, I'll call you back later. Keep an eye on my warning status for me?"

"Sure thing, darlin'," said Foaly, still looking bewildered. "Good luck. And, uh, congratulations, I guess."

"Thanks..." Holly muttered. She ended their connection and trailed Artemis downstairs, neither of them speaking. Holly was lost in a flurry of emotion. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around how readily Artemis had offered to marry her. Could he really be such a loyal friend as to make that sacrifice just to keep her from losing her magic? Of course, to Holly, magic was the element that made her who she was. It defined her as part of her culture and her livelihood, giving her an intimate connection with both nature and her people. But Artemis couldn't understand this feeling; his stolen magic was not an integral part of him. Yet he'd still offered.

It was far more likely that Artemis simply didn't consider matrimony as big a deal as she did. As Holly saw it, humans had a far lighter view of marriage than fairies did, what with the rampant divorce and cheating and all. While cheating wasn't unheard of among the People, it was very uncommon. The marital contract bonded two beings together emotionally, and few were willing to cause their partner such pain, especially when they could feel it themselves. Also, the feelings of guilt that an affair often inspired were likewise transmitted, making it far more likely that the disloyalty would be uncovered. Cheating was a very messy situation all around.

But Artemis had proposed that they each live out their separate lives. If they openly permitted each other to date other people, would either of them get hurt? Holly wasn't sure how she would react if- no, when Artemis decided that he wanted a physical relationship with a human girl, or worse, an emotional one. Could she keep herself from being jealous, and therefore making both of them unhappy?

Frond, this was complicated. And Artemis had no idea. She had to talk this through with him.

"Artemis, wait," said Holly, tugging on his jacket. Artemis waited, eyebrows raised questioningly. "We really need to just talk about this for a minute."

"Certainly," said Artemis patiently. "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh hell, Artemis," Holly groaned. "You're just making me nervous with how... easily you agreed to this. It makes me feel like you don't really know what you're getting yourself into."

Artemis stood thinking for a moment, then sat halfway down the staircase, patting the space on the step next to him. Holly sat. "Then why don't you tell me exactly what I am getting myself into?"

"For a fairy, being married is like..." She made vague hand gestures as she searched for the words to describe it. "Remember in the time tunnel when we were coming back from Limbo, and we were connected with each other, and with Qwan and No 1 and Abbot? Like... we all knew what the others were thinking, and feeling, and their memories..." Artemis nodded, recalling the mind-blowing experience. "It's kind of like that, only... lingering."

"Well," said Artemis with a small smile. "Then we've already done it once, haven't we?" Then he was serious. "Look, Holly... I want you to imagine for a moment what your life would be like without your magic. Tell me how you would feel."

Holly sat quietly, imagining. She felt hollow and nauseous at the very thought of it. "Sick," she croaked. "Everything would be... horribly different. Like a part of me died." She didn't even realize there was a lump in her throat until she was blinking back tears.

Artemis looked at her somberly. "And that's why I'm willing to do whatever this marriage contract entails. I don't want to watch that happen to you. You're my best friend. One of my best friends," he amended, thinking of Butler, who was fixing lunch down in the kitchen. "So, I am still all for it. Whatever complications arise, I am sure we can deal with them."

Holly smiled sadly. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, you know. It's also the longest emotional statement you've made without sounding all awkward. You're getting better at it."

Artemis grinned. "I am glad, because, I have one more thing to say, since I didn't really do it properly the first time." He stood, descended several steps, and paused. "This is a rather inconvenient location for it, though. Come on." Taking Holly's hand, he pulled her down the stairs after him. He stopped her when she was several steps above the floor, putting them at roughly equal heights. She looked at him curiously.

To Holly's great surprise, Artemis knelt down on the carpet, holding her small hand in both of his own.

"Holly I-Don't-Even-Know-Your-Middle-Name Short," he said solemnly. "Would you please do me the very great honor of becoming my wife?"

Holly laughed through her tears. "Yes, I would."

Artemis pretended to check his pockets and feigned concern. "I'm afraid I don't have a ring for you."

"That's okay. Rings aren't really traditional in fairy weddings anyway."

"Ah. How very fortunate." Still holding her hand, Artemis helped Holly to the bottom of the staircase in a very gentlemanly manner. For all her toughness, the elf couldn't help but savor the way his hand warmed hers.

"Nerine," she said.

"Hm?"

She gave his hand a squeeze. "My middle name is Nerine."

A/N: Nerine... It's a type of lily. Google it.

Please note that the rating will most definitely be going up in the next chapter. I'm planning to try my hand at some Hartemis smut :)

Reviiieeww. Do it. It makes you cool. *peer pressure*