Our galaxy: an enormous containment of planets, a star, so many meteors and meteorites. From an outside, cosmic glance, it is awesome in every form; to us, it is but taken for granted-for our primitive minds cannot comprehend such bulking mass. So, imagine how your average man would feel when placed right in front of it...

BEEP

BEEP

BEEP

A hand slammed onto the circular, bronze alarm, before the hand's owner slowly awakened from his sleep. This man is Mario Mario, an unfortunately-named plumber who wakes up at approximately 6:25 A.M. every morning.

Other important figures you will encounter in this story include Luigi Mario, a real estate agent who awakens at 7:00 A.M. every morning; Princess Peach Toadstool, who is up and out of bed at 10:57 A.M.; and Toadsworth and his son, Toad, who come out of the covers at 5:30 A.M. and 8:42 A.M., respectively.

But, alas, our attention veers. The most prominent person in this tale is Mario Mario, who, again, wakes at 6:25 A.M. every morning. And a convenience has arrived, for the specific moment of time at this current point was 6:26 A.M., and Mario was garbing himself in his average wear-a long-sleeved, flaming red shirt, held under by cool-blue overalls. He set a red hat, labeled 'M', on his brunette head; this cap had been given to him as a gift by his younger brother. Mario was still only half-awake-it was of insane odds he did not fall to his death on the stairs any morning. Even today, after the previous night's long, dragged occurrences that forced Mario to keep conscious to 3:47 A.M. before becoming entranced in a deep sleep, did he not fall down those wretched steps.

Mario, in full clothes and almost full-conscious, stumbled out of his home into the dark morn. Mario Mario was one of those men who believed those terrible ads on the television on how to improve your lifestyle: he walked everywhere; he drunk little alcohol and caffeine; he was even on a diet. He was liked well enough by the rest of the crew at his agency, as he cracked a joke every now and then, effecting a laugh from the other plumbers. In an odd coincidence to my narrative, Mario Mario was heading to those same plumbers.

When our hero had made it to the agency, he was greeted by his boss the same way he was every other day: "Mar-ya, yer late again! How many times I gotta tell ya about our opening schedule, dammit?"

And our hero replied the same way he did every other day: "Sorry boss, won't happen again."

If Mario Mario would just set his alarm clock a mere two minutes earlier, he'd never be slightly late again. Of course, this lack of two minutes could lead to a falling-down-to-death-by-stairs incident, so he didn't bother with it.

Allow me to describe Mario's occupation and work environment. Mario Mario was an ordinary plumber, not to say he was only mediocre at it, but rather, excelling at the necessary job. He was quite possibly the most qualified plumber in the Super Plumbing Inc. building. Speaking of Super Plumbing Inc.-this particular company was the cheapest plumbing in the urban area. However, it was also where the most degenerative of plumbers found refuge; where the most despicable of convicts made a living. Not that Mario Mario was either of these. In fact, he was easily the best man the Super Plumbing Inc. building had ever had walk through it's doors.

Mario's routine was simple-when he walked through the doors of this rather dreary establishment, he was to sit at a long plastic table with other employees for a minute or more until the manager, a fellow around Mario's age (30) known as Wallace Landers, sat down at the table with them. Then what occurred was a brief description of the jobs they'd been hired for, who was going, who wasn't, etcetera.

"Mar-ya," Wallace turned to Mario as he sat, "got a job for ya. Customer is 'Reggie', says he found a pipe unknown to him and doesn't know what the hell to do with it. Address is 1985 Gadd Lane. Have fun."

At this point, Mario would stand, push through the heavy doors of Super Plumbing Inc., and set out for his job with a toolbox in hand. Today, his routine would differ a bit. Today, he would stop by his brother Luigi's house.