Acknowledgements:
Omi as always
The BTN8rs - with apologies
The BTN Chatters - for their support
Jelsemium and K8T - for their reading and reassurances
Disclaimers:
"A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend" - Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I do not own any Numb3rs characters nor do I have any rights to
anything related to the TV show Numb3rs. I plead fair use and claim
only my own writing and characters.
Sometimes, when Alan isn't home and the house is too empty, Charlie sneaks into his father's room and sits on his parents' bed. He misses the old quilt his aunt made for them, but understands why his father bought all new bedding after his mother died. Really, almost nothing in the room is the same, but it's where his father keeps their wedding portrait. Charlie likes to hold it in his hands and gaze at his mother - looking so young and vibrant, so alive with her life ahead of her - those familiar curls he sees every time he looks in the mirror, that little piece of her he carries with him every day. He cuts them off sometimes, whenever he misses her too much and can't bear to see them anymore, but he always lets them grow back. He misses that part of her too much to ever let it go for good.
Sometimes, when Charlie isn't home and the house is too empty, Alan sits by the koi pond and indulges himself in a moment of grief as the fish dart and dance in the dark waters, a reminder of the anniversary he built the pond as a gift for his beloved wife. No way it could be a surprise, they'd collaborated on it, playfully arguing the merits of each possible location until he'd pulled her down to the grass and kissed her. They'd made love on that spot and the next day he started digging the pond there. When he stares into the placid waters it's her face he sees gazing back at him: hair mussed, lips parted, his name a breath from her lungs. He hadn't known then, never imagined, that those breaths were numbered. He feeds the fish and cares for them religiously. He lost her and if he were to lose one of them, all that hurt would come back all over again and he's not ready. Not yet.
Sometimes, when the house is empty - Charlie's away at a conference and Alan's off on a golf trip, Don comes and spends the night in his old room. He never sleeps better than when he's at the house and sometimes, in his dreams, his mother comes to rest her gentle hand on his troubled forehead, chasing all of his cares away with a mother's soothing touch.