Wah-hah!! Third fanfic from me, Crystal Blossoms! This one's a bit less serious than my other two fanfics, but I needed a break from serious fanfics. Anyway, enjoy!
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Chapter 1: The Mystery Egg
8:10 AM
Keroro's Room
Deep in his dream, Sergeant Keroro, Captain of the Space Invasion Force's Special Advance Team of the 58th planet of the Gamma Storm Cloud System, tossed in his bed.
Inside his dream . . .
Something was moving closer. With a long, snake-like body and fangs that glinted malevolently, the creature slid closer to Keroro. "N-N-NOOOOO!! D-Don't come any c-c-closer!! I am S-S-Sergeant K-Keroro of the—" Keroro squealed, cut off when the figure loomed directly in front of him. "GEEEERRRROOOOOO!!"
"Uncle, Uncle!" Mois called, shaking Keroro. "Please wake up!"
Keroro moaned, then blearily opened one eye. "M-Mois-dono?"
"Uncle! You were screaming and waving your arms around," Mois cried. "I thought you were hurt."
He sat up, rubbing a trail of drool off of his face. "I just had a horrible nightmare."
"What was it about?"
Keroro blinked at her. "I forgot. Ah, well, may as well get ready for the day!"
He flung off his sheets and was about to get out of bed when he noticed something that had been under his sheets. Freezing, he stared, open-mouthed, at the thing. "What's wrong, Uncle?" Mois asked. When Keroro pointed at the thing, Mois stared, as well.
Just what was the thing that made Mois and Keroro stare? Was it cake? A person? A rock? The correct answer is: none of the above.
It was an egg!
Keroro, frozen, toppled onto the floor. He got up and peeked over the edge of his bed to make sure that the egg was still there. It was. Moving closer slowly, he reached out a finger and poked it. "Huh? It's cold."
Mois said, "You could say, cool as a cucumber?"
The egg was white-colored, and when Keroro lifted it up to his nose and sniffed it, it even smelled like an egg. Mois watched as he stared at it some more before taking his sheets and wrapping the egg in it. Keroro looked towards the ceiling, stars in his eyes. 'What is this feeling?' he questioned. 'It feels oddly warm and satisfying . . . is this . . . what it feels like to be a mother?'
Mois watched him some more before starting, "Uncle . . ."
Keroro slapped his leg, standing up straightly. "I have decided! I will raise this egg as my own. Finally, I will know what it feels like to be a mother!"
Mois stammered, "U-Uncle, I d-d-don't think y-you laid that eg—"
The door was flung open. "STUPID FROG!!" Natsumi roared. "Did you take all of the eggs?!"
Jumping, Keroro quickly hid the blanket with the egg in it behind his back. "O-Of course not, Natsumi-dono! Why would you think that?"
Natsumi narrowed her eyes. "What's that behind your back?"
"G-gero? Nothing! It's nothing!" Keroro insisted as Natsumi stomped closer. She grabbed him by the head and lifted him up, turning him around.
"What's this, then?" Natsumi fumed, grabbing the blanket and dropping Keroro. He landed with a thump on the floor. She unfolded the sheets, her eyes widening when she found the egg. Natsumi lifted the egg up, an ominous air around her as she dropped the sheets and turned to face Keroro. Keroro had been trying to crawl away inconspicuously while she was doing this, but froze as soon as he felt her gaze.
"W-Wait, Natsumi-dono, I can explain!"
"You're frog jerky, stupid frog!"
"GEEEERROOOOOOO!!"
After Natsumi finished pummeling Keroro, she stormed out of his room, shouting, "Now I have to wash the egg, since you got it all dirty in your filthy sheets! It's all your fault that the omelette's going to be ready late!"
Keroro, covered with blood and bruises, looked up when she said 'omelette'. "No . . . Natsumi-dono . . .," he rasped, pulling himself along the carpet, ". . . you . . . can't . . . do that . . ."
He dragged himself out of his room, forcing himself to climb up the rungs of the ladder. Keroro slithered into the living room, gasping for breath. He tottered into the kitchen just when Natsumi was getting out the frying pan. "NOOOOOOO!! NATSUMI-DONO!!" he yelled.
"Stupid frog?" Natsumi asked as she turned around to look at the forlorn, bloody Keronian that stood beside her. "What is it now?"
"You can't crack that egg!" Keroro exclaimed.
"Why would I listen to you?" Natsumi turned away, lifting her hand with the egg above the edge of the pan.
"NOOOOOO!!" Keroro screamed, jumping up. He grabbed the egg that was in Natsumi's hand, clutching it to his chest as he rolled onto the floor on her other side. Startled, Natsumi gaped at Keroro, who was clinging to the egg as if it were his life. She regained her mind after a moment and bared her teeth.
"Stupid frog . . .," she growled.
"You can't take this egg from me!" Keroro declared. "Because . . . because . . . think of my reputation as a mother if you took it from me!"
Natsumi stopped and stared at Keroro. "Did you just say mother?"
Keroro nodded, seeing his chance. "You see, Natsumi-dono, when I woke up this morning, I found this egg—he pointed at the egg—in my bed. Since I don't sleepwalk, and I certainly do not sleep with eggs near me, it means that I must have laid this egg myself! Ever since then, I have felt the 'maternal instincts' that mothers always talk about constantly! It's one of the most wonderful things in the world . . ."
As Keroro gushed on about being a mother, Natsumi stared at him. 'This is wrong on so many levels,' she thought. 'I don't even want to think about how the stupid frog laid an egg . . . (shudder) . . .'
". . . and so I feel the need to take care of—"
"Okay, okay, stupid frog! You can keep your egg . . . or whatever. Just don't get in my way, or I'm taking that egg and making an omelette."
"Thank you, Natsumi-dono!!" Keroro called behind himself as he dashed back to his room. "You're the most wonderful Pokopenian female that I know!!"
"Don't push it, stupid frog!"
"Yes, Natsumi-dono."
Natsumi sighed. "Now what am I going to make for breakfast?"
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10:46 AM
Keroro's Room
"You may be wondering why I have called you all here," Keroro started.
"No," Giroro replied, buffing the gun that he constantly carried around.
Keroro ignored Giroro's comment. "The answer to your questions is right here!" He grabbed the edge of the cloth and pulled it off.
Everyone looked at it. Kilili glanced at Keroro and stated, "It's just an egg."
"This is why you called us here?!" Giroro raged. "For a stupid—"
Keroro put his hands around the egg, comforting, "Shh, shh, don't listen to mean old Giroro-kun. He doesn't know anything about being a mother."
They looked at him strangely. "Are you all right, Keroro-kun?" Dororo inquired slowly.
"I couldn't be more right!" Keroro sighed, sweeping the egg out of its cradle and spinning around. "How wonderful it is to be a mother!"
"Wow, I was right," Kilili breathed. "Keroro-san is insane. I've got to tell Pururu after this!"
"What is the meaning of this?" Giroro asked angrily. When Keroro kept spinning around with the egg, Giroro grabbed him and tossed him into the wall. "I asked you, what the heck are you doing?!"
Keroro sat up immediately, checking the egg over for any cracks. He breathed a sigh of relief after not finding any cracks, then fumed, "Giroro-kun, what were you thinking?! Keroro Junior here could have been hurt!"
"Keroro . . . Junior . . .?" Giroro coughed.
"That's right!" Keroro declared, standing up and cradling the egg in his arms. "I woke up this morning to find Keroro Junior in my bed, and I've been his dutiful mother ever since . . . ahhh . . . I'm feeling my maternal instincts kick in! Keroro Junior needs his hot towel!" Keroro dashed over to the table, removing hot towels from a heater below. He wrapped the egg in the towels before slinging a carrier over his shoulder. Fitting the egg and its towels snugly in the carrier, Keroro started rocking it back and forth.
Everyone stared.
Keroro took a hot water bottle out of the microwave and pressed it to the egg.
Everyone stared.
He sang a lullaby to it.
Everyone stared.
Keroro turned to look at the stunned eyes, saying, "Your stares are creeping me and Keroro Junior out! We're going to go someplace where people won't stare at us!"
He marched out of his room, leaving everyone gaping at the place where he just been. Kilili shook her head and shrugged, "I always knew that Keroro-san was crazy. This is just proof!"
"That's just Keroro being his usual idiotic self," Giroro grunted. "Today, he thinks that he's a mother to some egg that he found in his bed."
"But how did the egg get in his bed?" Tamama wondered, regretting his question as soon as he asked it. "Never mind, everyone, I really don't want to know anymore."
"Does anyone want me to wipe their memories of the horrific scenes that we just witnessed?" Kilili offered.
"Yes, please!" Giroro said. "I don't ever want to see anything like that again."
"Wait, Kilili," Dororo interjected. "Tamama-dono is right. It is intriguing how that egg just happened to be in his bed. Even though I feel uncomfortable talking about this, we should investigate. Perhaps one of us should go ask Keroro-kun a few questions."
There was silence from everyone else until Kilili piped up, "I vote for Dororo."
"You go, Dororo."
"Please, Dororo-senpai?"
"Ku, ku, ku . . . I don't care as long as it isn't me . . . ku, ku . . ."
Mois counted up the votes on her fingers and announced, "The winner is Dororo-sama! You could say, a unanimous decision?"
Dororo glanced at all of them pleadingly, but Kilili quickly ushered him out the door. "Good luck, Dororo!" she wished, shutting the door. Dororo heard the click as she locked it.
Sighing, he proceeded up the ladder and into the living room. Keroro was sitting on the couch, cooing to his egg and prodding it every few seconds to make sure that it was warm. Dororo lingered in the doorway for several minutes before clearing his throat and venturing, "K-Keroro-kun?"
Keroro looked, spinning around twice before spotting Dororo in the doorway. "Oh, Dororo!" he gasped. "I didn't see you there!"
Dororo started to hyperventilate, but told himself, 'No, no, I've got to stay strong. I—can't—let—my—trauma—switch—turn—on!' He forced his trauma switch off and strolled forward. "H-Hi, Keroro-kun. Can I talk to you?"
"Of course," Keroro nodded, patting the spot next to himself. Dororo plopped down a foot away from Keroro, shifting uncomfortably.
"Erm . . . Keroro-kun . . . could I ask you some questions about . . . Keroro Junior?"
"Ask away."
"What happened before you woke up? Any dreams?"
"Well . . ." Keroro put his finger on his chin. "I did have this scary nightmare. There was this snake monster thing with huge fangs in it. The snake was chasing me around, and it was about to attack when Mois-dono woke me up. Then, I found Keroro Junior."
"Strange . . . do you have any ideas about what Keroro Junior might be?"
"He'll probably be a Keronian, just like his mother."
"You mean father, right, Keroro-kun?"
"No, I mean mother."
"Oh . . . well, that's all I needed to know. See you later." Dororo walked out of the living room and down to the basement, knocking on the door with a star on it.
"Is that you, Dororo?" Kilili's muffled voice inquired.
"Yes."
The door creaked open, and Dororo shuffled inside. Kilili peered at him, concerned. "How did your investigation go?"
"I didn't find out much," Dororo started, "besides the fact that Keroro-kun had a weird dream before waking up and finding that egg."
"What was the dream about?" Kilili asked.
"In his dream, Keroro-kun was attacked by a snake-like creature with long fangs. He was woken up by Mois-dono just when the creature was striking."
She frowned. "That's not much. Anything else?"
"Nothing that you'd want to know."
She sighed. "I trust you. Here, have a cup of tea." Kilili handed him a cup of tea and motioned towards his seat. She dragged a chair to the back of the table and seated herself there. Noticing the bored expressions of her friends, Kilili asked, "You all really don't care what happens to Keroro-san, right?"
"Not at all," Giroro replied.
"A little, but not too much," Tamama admitted.
"No . . . ku, ku . . ."
"To tell the truth, I don't really care that much. One reaps what one sows," Dororo shrugged.
"Good," she nodded, "because I don't care either. Do any of you want to try this Pokopenian beverage called 'coffee'? I hear that a lot of Pokopenians drink it in the morning."
"We should always try new things," Dororo suggested. "I'll try it."
"That's great! I'll go and buy some now." Kilili morphed in her Pokopenian form and darted out the door. "I'll be back soon!" she called behind herself.
"What is coffee anyway?" Tamama pondered.
"Who knows," Giroro replied. "None of us have ever tried it."
"Ku, ku, ku . . . almost none of us . . ."
Giroro whirled around to face Kururu. Realizing that the attention was on him, Kururu immediately left via one of his tunnels. 'Ku, ku, ku, ku, ku, ku, ku' echoed behind him as the tunnel mouth zipped shut. The red Keronian looked like he was about to say something, but stopped and grit his teeth.
"I never liked Kururu-senpai," Tamama murmured absentmindedly.
"He's a jerk," Giroro said flatly.
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There's no denying it. Sergeant Major Kururu is a jerk, yet so many people love him for reasons unknown to me. That's all for Chapter 1. Look for Chapter 2 tomorrow, in which the Keronians drink coffee. This ought to be interesting. Please review.